Kalash

Well I found out that my son was killed in a traffic accident whom i have not seen since he was a baby and if he was still alive he would be 16yrs old, well thats how it started, but I was looking for things on the net to kill myself and yes I found out quite a few things errm sleeping with knives, overdoseing, not sleepping at all, basically all I wanted to do was die, and everyone around me knew that but all they could do was just watch me go deeper into a deep dark hole with no escape. lets say this I was so close one time of killing myself but if it wasn`t for someone walking in on me (I left the door unlocked) I even went through the clensing process , which basically is a good bath,a shower, so I would be clean ready to be picked up by the angels and taken to a better place, so yea you could say I was very ill.

My ex left me 1 month ago after being with her for 5 and a half years and a child, she left me cos our relationship was not going no where well thats what she said but at the time i was going though alot, well the thing is the bloke she is with works away and she comes to see me so i can see my daughter BUT... we are still having a sexual relationship, ok i know you all are thinking idot but after all those years and now we have split up I still love her but heres the strangest thing the girl i was with before her i now am getting feelings for her as well but the problem there is she is married and also has my other daughter can any one please give me advice on what i should do

Come on i have just got out of hospital after trying to kill myself and if you want help it is out there you will find it I found it on here a special person helped me see it through and after I spoke to them I phoned up my local hospital and told them how bad i was and they got me a ambulance out to me and the next thing I knew I was in a bed at the hospital having my stomach pumped and after a few days of recovering I started a caurse of tablets and now I get loads of help. I thought like you but now i feel better and I`m taking it day by day, please find it in yourself to get help from your doctor and also friends this is NOT just for you friend it`s for EVERYONE whom reads this ok

After talking to a very kind person called Scout who I owe everythhing to helped me realise how ill I was and after talking to Scout I rang up the hospital and told them the situation and they got an ambulance to me which i can say didn`t take long at all to get to me, and now after a break in hospital i feel alot better, and I will say again it`s all thanks to scout

Hi there today i got a call from the samaritans who now no the total extent of my problems they also have advised me to get help but its hard to when you cant go out side your door during the day for the fear of people pointing the finger i have only out going calls on my phone no one dare come round cose of the way i am i stuck now in getting more help i just wish i could make my self invisible when i see people i know but no chance of that ............................................................................

right i have tried it the bitter sweet taste of death is just around the corner, i got stop 2 nights ago but they still have not took into how feel i feel now if people doubt me, if they doubt me that much then why was it last night i demended help i said i want to get help but they never took heed of my words, im not in control of my self no more i dont want to hurt others just me. NOW I PLEED TO ANYONE IF THET DARE TO PICK UP THE PHONE AND SPEAK TO YOU WILL HEAR MY DESPERATION look pm me and i will give u my number i dont care no MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! killing myself im of to a better place cant stand this life no more not sure where yet im going to do it but i will be doing it very soon if any one is ready this then sorry for the way i have done it but i had no chance of survival from the way my mind is at the moment so this is my last goodbye to you all please let my last resting place be somewhere by the sea somewhere hot and it looks like paridise thats my last request and that no-one greeves for me, no one know what i have been going through only me but now im gone thanks to everyone for their help but it was all to late. GOODBYE FOREVER!!!!!

yea but if you read my other post you will under stand it more

its now at a stage where im sleepping with knives in my bed is this a bad sign or not and all so i think i keep hearing voices but there is now one around when i hear them. still im not afraid to die. ok many of you are thinking then go ahead do it, i have just found a site on which tells you about the poisons in plant and what they do to you its really good. ...........................................................................................................

been there done that even been in hospital i still feel this way they cant help me no-pne can

Well thanks to you both whom replied, but if you had only been in my shoes for the past 33yrs then you could proberly understand what i`ve been through, i dont mean to be harsh but sorry to everyone whom has tried and accually done it but i have weighed up my life or so called life but i just cant take it no more, if it a test we live then i have failed like i always do look i dont have much time left now so thanks again........................................................................................................................................................

As from a young age my life has been cruel to me ok some parts were my fault but the only reason i did them is cos of being bullied i was weak to say NO, i have been an alcholic, I have had my eldest son taken away from me, i have had 2 totaly failed relationships each time my daughters staying with there mothers, been in hospital loads of time through depression i have taken overdoses before but never again this time its going to be a totaly differant way of dieing 1,inject a vast amount of air into my vains ok proberly going to be painfully but it cant be as PAINFULL AS MY LIFE HAS BEEN or slicing my wrist downwards cutting all of my main vains, or there is one other way and thats by eating poisones plant bulbs or their stems and leaves,Ok you may say then why am i writeing this why dont i just do it, i first need to go through the dieing prgram and that is asking for foregiveness for what im about to do and then go from the clensing and once iam clensed its goodbye cruel world hello to afterlife. Life Is A Prison Life is a prison, Oh God let me out. No one to listen, To hear when you shout. Climb the walls of insanity, Ride the waves of despair. If you fall it don't matter, There's no one to care. Used to wish for a window, To see birds, trees and sky, But you're better without one - Stops you aiming too high. Watching freedom is painful, For those locked away. Seeing joy, love and happiness, Another price that you pay. Strong is good, weak is bad. Be it false, be it true. Your mind makes the choice, And enforces it too. Cell walls built by society, With rules to adhere. If you breach the acceptable, You had better beware. Hide the pain, carry on, Routine is the key. Don't let on that you're not, What you're pretending to be. Lock it all up inside you, How badly that bodes. Look out for that one day, When it all just explodes. Leaving naught but a shell, Base functionality too. But killing all else, That was uniquely you. So how do you grow, With a timebomb inside? Or how to defuse it, Without destroying its ride? You can't.