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Everything posted by adidas7fire

  1. thanks mar... that's so true. i think he's totally insecure because for one thing, he was neer financially stable and always using me as him ATM. i was not down for that and so he has gone to someone else to do that to. it sucks that i have realized all that i have now that the relationship is no longer but i'm glad i didn't marry this guy like intended. i would be kicking myself forever. he's so cocky about everything including being in a band (need proof? just go to the site link removed and check out the most recent post he has on that page). i can't stand guys like that and i have to admit, i'm doing pretty well not having any ties with him. thanks for your input.
  2. many members may know about my situation with my ex-fiance. but i was given more news about him that totally blew my mind. i found out that a few weeks before we split, he was talking to this chick he's dating now. when i would leave his apt to go home, he would call her to come over and "hang out." but he was doing this behind my back. but this is the funny thing that i just realized...i thought about this whole ordeal and it makes total sense.. when my ex was first talking to me, he was in a relationship with a girl he had been with for over 2 years... and then dumped her for me. thereforeeeee, we were together for over 2 years and he began talking to this girl and then bamm... dumped me to date her. do we see a pattern here? yeah, so it makes total sense that all this would happen. so i am not surprised.. i give this new relationship he has with her the same amount of time before he does it again. so with said, do you really think that patterns exist or do you think a person can change? needless to say, we are no longer friends or anything. we avoid each other like the plague because i figure it's not fair for either one of us to feel hurt over anything. i'm not really feeling hurt by this, more angry and want to kill him for not being honest with me. is that so wrong?
  3. hey there.. i was just like you.. my ex and i broke up a month ago but our relationship of anything is nothing now... why? here's the story from the beginning, short and sweet... when my ex was first talking to me, he was in a relationship with a girl he had been with for over 2 years... and then dumped her for me. thereforeeeee, we were together for over 2 years and he began talking to this girl and then bam!... dumped me to date her. do we see a pattern here? yeah, so it makes total sense that all this would happen. so i am not surprised.. i give this new relationship he has with her the same amount of time before he does it again. it hurt at the beginning when everything was new and i was in denial for a while until i realized that there was someone out there who would treat me better and i've found someone who does just that. i didn't want to waste anymore time being friendly with a guy that didn't want to make an effort to reciprocate the gesture. we work together at the same place but don't talk at all... we don't even look at each other, unless it's a die-hard must. i don't want to be friends with someone i know who is deceitful and not honest, like he. there will always be better people out there for you and like me, you'll find someone out there, sometimes in the strangest places. so with all this said, you need to make a choice, either be his friend and nothing more or forget about him and move on. don't play games with him or yourself, it's not fair to either one of you. good luck!
  4. first off, he left the email open on my computer (we work together and must share the desk). it was there staring me in the face. later in the day, his mom called me and we talked about this chick and she gave me more info. he later emailed me saying to stay out of his business when he was the one that left it wide open. i'm ready to cut all ties and say forget you. he can have that chick because i can do so much better than him... prolly already have. he's a jerk, immature, and that's all that's to it. if he can't handle being friends, who needs him, right?
  5. well, i'm back with an update on my ex-fiance. turns out that i found out some interesting news... he's been wanting to hook up with this one chick since before we even broke up. i knew that something was up with her and him a while back... like for instance, when she was supposed to come over to his apt to hang out with his brother, my ex would make all sorts of effort to clean up the apt. but if i were coming over, he wouldn't do anything. we have been broken up for almost a month now and today i read this email he sent to her. she had slipped a note in his car and he found it, read it, and sent her an email saying that it totally made his day and that he hopes that she knows how he feels about her. he lied to me, he lied to his friends, and to his mom... if you were me, what would you feel like? i'm pissed but at the same time, don't care because i have found someone that treats me like a princess and likes me for who i am, not the amount of money in my bank. do you think this is a guy i need to stay friends with or forget about him? please give me your input. thanks
  6. you know what's ironic about your last post... my ex's mom is the one that told me that. and she says that it's true.. because she realizes what an asset i was to him but he's too egotistical to realize it right now. but that statement is so true... so just think about that and it will help you. good luck!
  7. my only advice is.. DON'T do it! you will regret it for the rest of your life, I promise you. just stick with it and everything will be just fine. you always have ways of corresponding with home, but do know it will take time to get over being homesick. i mean, i am only 30 minutes away from home and i still get homesick occasionally.. so it's natural. just take it easy and don't let your dreams just fly out the window... meet some new people and things will be just fine. good luck. you will realize that college is one of the best experiences of your life that you will ever encounter.
  8. i totally understand what you are going thru. i thought i was going to die because my fiance broke up with me. actually i think it was pretty much mutual because we both started realizing that things were becoming different in our attitudes and mannerisms. i mean, we still loved each other and all, but it was still hard to accept. but the best advice that i could give is just let time do its thing and most likely it will work out for the better. i thought i wasn't going to be able to have a life after our breakup but i got to hang out with my friends again and do the things that i never had time for. i even met some other people that took a liking to me now that i am single again and i just feel great. not to say that i don't have feelings for my ex, but i just know that things will never be the same between us, if you know what i mean. just take it easy and don't dwell on what COULD have happened but realize that now you must make a life for yourself without that other person. trust me, i was NOT a believer of this but i have found this out to be true. feel free to email me ... i'd love to help you thru this tough time. being able to relate to someone that has been thru the same thing helped me. good luck.
  9. Last week my ex-fiance broke up with me and it just about killed me inside. but the one thing that he told me on the phone was "i think there is someone who can treat you better out there." even though I couldn't imagine my life without him, i think he was right. the other day i went to the rec center on this navy base and met 3 guys... of which one of them showed interest in me and i in him. we all ended up shooting pool for 3 hours and then exchanged numbers and by the end of the night, that one particular guy called me and we talked into the wee hours of the morning. we talked today and even met up.. and by the end of the night we were making out. he was sooooo amazing! i couldn't believe that my feelings for him were so intense. my question is... i love my ex so much still but when i was with the navy guy, all those feelings kinda disappeared. is it too early for me to be "over" my ex or am i just infatuating over what i want in a guy... especially since i felt really bad when things went wrong with my ex? Let me know please.
  10. I have posted my issue on his previously but the thing is it's still extremely difficult to work with my ex-fiance. I try to be friends with him but he acts like the jerk. I can't obsessing over him because we were together for over 2 years and I knew EVERYTHING about him. And now that we are broken up, I can't help but still want to read his email and know who he's talking to on the phone and what he does at night when I'm no longer there. I can't help but wonder why he does certain things now that he didn't do when we were together.. like he completely cleaned his car to where it looks brand new... and I just wonder if he cleaned it for some new chick or what. And he even changed his sn so that I couldn't talk to him... but I found that out too. I can't get my mind off him when we are at work together but when I go home, everything is fine. What can I do to totally get him off my mind while we're at work? I still have strong feelings for him but want to move on. Please help me out in any way possible. And just for purposes, I am NOT psycho or anything like that. I just know that we were meant to be together and he doesn't realize that.. especially since he's in a band and says that he needs "to find out who he is and where he wants to be in life."
  11. well, i have tried very hard to be just casual with conversation but it's extremely difficult to not wonder what he's thinking. i have talked to my coworkers (because it's mainly girls my age) and they tell me to keep myself busy. But it almost makes me want to cry when he walks out the door or doesn't ask for my help on things anymore but day by day I have overcome that want feeling. The one good piece of info that I have heard from many people is that he doesn't plan to date anyone for a long time... and honestly, neither do I. Classes will be starting in a week but I dread the one class that we have together. I'm cool with being friends but he's acting the jerk when it comes to trying to be nice... maybe it's his way of dealing with the loss (me) or something? Maybe guys are just like that.. instead of crying they act like they really don't care. I refuse to believe that he doesn't care about me, especially since we were to be married after graduation. What do you think about all this?
  12. Hi.. my fiance and I were together for 2.5 years. After a nasty breakup on Tuesday, I thought I was going to die. I had given this guy everything, including my heart but he felt as though he needed to figure himself out before settling down. After talking to many people about my situation, everyone told me to be strong and all that... and act as if it doesn't bother me. The hard part is that we work at the same job and we can't help but trying to get along but for both of us, it's extremely hard and awkward. He's in a band and they are very successful right now and I used to talk to him about it and its success but what do I exactly talk to him about? How do you start a conversation with someone you've been with for so long and know everything about? How do I get my focus off him while at work? Why is it easier for me to stay friends and have that door open but he can't do that? Please, any advice would help. Thanks.
  13. i'm in a 2.5 year relationship with a guy i fell head over heels for. within the last couple months, our relationship has become more distant. i can tell when things are changing and it's really hard to hear someone say one thing (usually something you want to hear) when they actually mean another. i've been heartbroken since then because i know that he is feeling indifferent about me and that's the hardest thing that i have ever had to deal with in my life. (the full story is on the forum, topic - "i'm about to end my life") not telling your gf the truth is the worst thing that you could have done. from my experience, a girl's emotions are very important and when you mess with them like that, it drives us crazy. we want to know what you are thinking... we want to know why you feel a certain way. i'm so mad at my fiance for not expressing his feelings because i am left in the dark... about to face suicide and feel there is no point to move on with my life if the one i love isn't in love with me anymore. anyways, i personally don't think i would get over something like that... but that's just who i am. feelings, emotions, and thoughts really mean a lot to me.
  14. I am going thru the biggest problem i have ever had to face in a relationship. in february 2002, i proposed to my boyfriend, even though i was the girl. he said yes and to this day we have been engaged. only a few friends know about this and they are cool with it. we are both 21 and don't even plan to marry until after we graduate from college in a couple years. recently i moved back home with my parents and it's been really hard to change my lifestyle from being with him 24/7 to only seeing him a few hours each day. i go crazy when i'm not by his side. then i was talking to his mom (she and i are really close) and she told me that her other son (my fiance's brother) told her a few weeks back that my fiance was afraid... afraid of being married really soon. what hurts me inside is how i try to communicate with him but he doesn't tell me what he tells his brother. i love him so much that i have spent the last 5 weeks crying myself to sleep every night... and now it's to the point where i'm about to use this knife sitting on my nightstand and jab it straight thru my heart... the part that is hurting the most. i am ready to end everything in my life because i've been so stressed that i can't do anything anymore -- i can't eat, can't sleep, can't function on normal tasks... i'm totally useless. all i ever wanted was for someone that i love to love me back the same way, the same amount. i've done everything to communicate to him about what i'm feeling but i'm always the one afraid that he's going to break up with me because of something stupid like that. if there is anyone who can give me the slightest amount of hope that he (my fiance) will come around or tell me something good, please, i beg you, please. i'm hanging on by a thread and there may not be another post from me on this site if something doesn't happen quick. thanks for listening.
  15. I have been dating this guy for 2.5 years now. I just recently moved back home and we now live 30 minutes away when we used to live only 5 minutes away from each other. I would always hang out with him all day long and things were great. Now that I have moved back home, things have become tougher since I'm not there with him 24/7 like I was used to. And sometimes when I would call him, he wouldn't answer his phone immediately like he does... and I couldn't wait another second to call again. It's like, my mind automatically begins to worry that he's seeing someone else or having false feelings... something bad. I love him so much that it drives me crazy when I'm not with him. Am I being way too clingy with him or is it that I was just used to doing things a certain way and it has just gotten to me? Let me know your opinions and if you can relate, tell me your story.
  16. I know that she loves me and all that but it's like she tries not to make me happy. She was never around to know that i did anything to try to end my life... I was always alone, not in her presense. It's hard to just know that life would be easier if she wasn't around. I know that sounds bad for a daughter to say but sometimes the truth does hurt.
  17. i'm 21 years old and have been living on my own since 18. My mom is Asian and truly believes in keeping tradition in the family. I'm an only child so it's hard to talk to her since she doesn't understand what I want. I try to tell her sometimes but she doesn't want to listen... she always says that I spend too much time with "typical teenagers" and that I should respect my parents. I respect them... that's not the problem. But she has to call me like 10 times a day just to know what I'm doing. I've never done anything wrong but she always has to keep my "confined" in this life. My dad (who is white) is totally cool with everything that I do, as long as he knows where I am and all that other good info, but my mom gets onto him when she doesn't agree on something. I mean, I am 21 for crying out loud!!! And this has caused me to be depressed, not just lately, but since I was in 13... I have even attempted suicide 3 times, but flaked out right before anything drastic happened. i'm afraid that if things don't change soon, I'm not going to let anything stop my from that final moment. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can make my mom not be so overprotective? Please let me know anything that could help. Thanks ---Adidas7fire
  18. i think each girl has a different opinion about each guy. you have to find out what you like and go from there... no one can tell you one way to do it. life is lived thru experiences and unfortunately, there might be more mistakes than right-ons... but just learn from everything that you may encounter. good luck
  19. i totally agree with winkie's post. it's a feeling so powerful that words really can't explain.
  20. when all the senses in your body are overtaken by some unknown feeling.. you're in love. when all you can think about is the one that makes you the happiest.. you're in love. when you feel as though anything can go wrong but that one person can make everything alright... you're in love. when it's care and sincerity that is comprised into the relationship.. you're in love. don't rush it... because if it's meant to be... it will find you. good luck (hmmm.. maybe i should take my own advice... )
  21. so do you think that i am overreacting or is this just a guy thing? i mean, it bothers me yes to a point but when it comes right down to it, he's with me and not with any person that he may be imagining. that's a good sign, right?
  22. thanks.. that will help me. i mean, he doesn't go up to girls and say "hey, what's going on, beautiful...".. that's his brother and that's totally cool since he doesn't have a gf. i understand about the PR and that is important to me because i give my 110% support. but i just wish that sometimes he would come up to me and give me a hug or something. i'll try to work on my feelings with this whole band thing. Thanks for your input.
  23. speaking from a girl's perspective, let me tell you that if you want to do this... your girl won't be disappointed. it's a sensational feeling and from what i hear, once you start eating at the y, all your senses are intertwined and you don't even realize what it tastes like... you'll be caught up in the moment and she and you will be having a great time. Good luck!
  24. alright.. i got some responses on the first issue.. but here's the question that i asked. not be be forward or anything, but we were laying in bed a night after one show and i just casually asked him, "do you ever imagine having sex with other women while having sex with me"? he replied, "yes..." and i asked him "who?..." and he was silent for a moment and then replied, "whoever comes to my mind first." i was in complete shock and didn't know what to say. he saw the reaction on my face and i was so heartbroken and began to sob because i wasn't expecting that from a guy that was supposed in love with me. he abruptly said that he didn't know it was going to be a trick question, i took it the wrong way, and that he didn't mean anything by his response. i feel so hurt anytime i mention this to my friends that try to comfort me. i have talked to him about this but both of honestly just don't want to think about it. i know that being a musician is a big part of his life but he doesn't have to exclude me when it comes to things... maybe he could include me to help with stuff. i mean, i do take the pictures that they put on their website... so i do contribute to the whole band seen. but about this whole thing... sitting down and talking with him seems to go in one ear and out the other. he still loves me, he says, and i love him so much that i can't even bear the thought to find someone else... because i am still madly head over heels for this guy. am i crazy? (by the way, thanks to all that have posted on my first message... this forum is really helping me)
  25. Hi.. I'm new at this forum board but I have had lots of things on my mind and need some other people's opinions besides by family and friends' advice. Here's the scoop --- I've been dating this guy for 2.5 years. We go to the same college and work together at the same job and I see him everyday. He's in a band and has a love for music which I'm totally cool with. The only thing that really bothers me is that when I go to his shows, he rarely talks to me... and even invites his ex-girlfriend. I had a roommate recently that was pretty/tall/blonde and my bf and his brother would always find it funny to mack on her, even though they said it was just a joke. But it really made me feel like I was just an extra wheel to the party. This had been happening more than just a few times and when I confronted him about it, he said that I was overreacting and had nothing to worry about. But he does this with a lot of his girl friends from his hometown (everyone from that town is really close to each other as friends). Should I really be worried about this or am I overreacting like he says? I also asked him a question that has scarred me in this relationship but until I get a response for this message.. I'll leave that to be untold...
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