adidas7fire

It's not that I was holding onto it for sentimental reasons per se... I just don't know why I didn't get rid of it in the first place. Then knowing that my bf still has his stuff... only made me want to get rid of mine more. Weird as that sounds, I don't care... I just want it out and gone.

Is it wrong to just one day wake up and have the urge to get rid of all my old relationship crap? Like cards, pictures, things they gave me... all that... wanting to throw it in the garbage. Not that there was something that sparked anger or anything of that sort... but just waking up knowing that I am in a better relationship/the best relationship I have ever been in. I guess I just realized even after all this time that this was due to happen. I just wanted to know if anyone else has had this feeling before but was civil about it.

Yeah, you're right. I don't want to be THAT gf that was psycho. Lord knows he's already had her. And now that I'm here... I'm trying to prove that he HASN'T made a mistake. THanks for all your help!

Yes and no that I feel that when she sends emails... regardless of their content, I feel threatened. It just makes me wonder if her husband even knows... to me, it's just disrespectful to both relationships. I will be honest and say that I wish I didn't delete the email because of obvious reasons but also because I'd like to have seen what he might have said to her. I mean, he never got a chance to tell her that he'd rather the conversing end due to having respect for me since it bothered me so much. Who knows what he would have said but the more I think about it, it drives me nuts! I mean, at some moments I can be totally OK with it and at others, I wish I could email her my thoughts and tell her to back off. It is just bothersome moreso that Valentine's Day is around the corner and the only person I want my boyfriend to be thinking about is me... not the other people he once claimed to be his Valentine.

I got to thinking about something last night. My bf of 3 years and I have had a pretty great relationship if I do say so myself. His ex-gf that is married and a mother finds it necessary to email my bf to "see how things are". I told him about 6 months ago how I felt about them conversing and he told me that if it would make me feel better and help our relationship, he'd stop. So at that time, I had never seen an email from her since August... the day last being August 8th. Yesterday was Feb 8th... exactly 6 months since the last time they spoke. As I sat there and thought about it... last year on Feb 8th, she had emailed him... as if she had a timer to send an email to him. Not that I'm anal about this stuff but I do pay attention to detail, especially when something that bothers me as much as this is concerned. Is it ironic that she tries to contact him the same time every year? I had to delete the email before he could read it because I just couldn't stand to think of them conversing yet again. She has her own life now... and we have ours... and as far as I'm concerned, ex's are ex's for a reason. I'd like to keep it that way -- it only makes things better when there's no attachment, wouldn't you agree?

After reading all your replies, you guys may be right. It was just something I heard on the radio as an appearance they were holding where single people would take their items from past relationships and burn them in this huge bonfire they planned on having... because many believe V-Day is a hallmark holiday. I thought about applying it to my relationship but I guess if it hasn't been a problem in the past, why should it be now, right? thanks you guys. You may have just saved me from a huge mistake.

What if I were to bring it up nonchalantly as it being an idea I heard on the radio (since that's really where I did hear it) and seeing what his opinion was about it? I would think that that wouldn't be coming off as being jealous or controlling but more of getting his opinion (and of course hoping that he'd say sure and partake).

I am thinking about asking my boyfriend of 3 years to partake in something that I think would benefit both him and I and our relationship. I am wanting to gather all of our things from past relationships that he and I have been in and burn/trash them... kind of like a clean slate. I don't know why we haven't done this before but this is something I have thought about for a while and think that this would be the perfect time now that Valentine's Day is near. Would you do so if your significant other asked you to do so or would you find it offensive/insulting? I'm talking about letters, cards, things of that nature. I know pictures are different but I'm even willing to get rid of those because those people of my past don't mean what my bf means to me... and I have no intentions of re-living the past. What would you do? Thanks for any responses.

Is it possible to be a few months pregnant AND have periods show up on the normal cycle days?

Well, I haven't gone to the dr because I don't have insurance and don't have the cash to spend on a single visit. Yes, I have had bowel movements since then. I exercise everyday but that previous Saturday I played football and that was pretty intense as far as my body not being used to the roughness. At first the major pain was on the left side but now it's dispersed to the entire lower abdomen region... no matter where you press, it has the same amount of pain. I'm not allergic to anything and am not on any meds so that is most likely not a cause.

This past Sunday I was feeling just fine after getting out of the shower. All of a sudden I fell to the floor in pain.. pain in my lower abdomen. I couldn't move... felt like someone was sticking me with 1000 needles and I laid there on the floor for almost two hours. I hadn't done anything out of the ordinary... wasn't on any medication, nothing... just a normal day. I didn't feel as though it was necessary to visit the doctor so I thought I'd wait it out... maybe it was just gas or something. Well, it's been two days since then and I still have the pain but it's not as intense. I haven't lost my appetite and everything else is normal but man oh man it hurts when I put pressure on my abdomen. I feel bloated but other than that, everything is fine... just can't make any sudden movements otherwise I'd get this sharp pain to the left and right sides. Has anyone experienced this or have an idea of what could be going on? If so, PLEASE don't hesitate to let me know. Thank you!

******UPDATE******** First off, thanks for all your inputs. It brings a lot of things into perspective. However, his ex is married and has a child now. I just didn't understand why she felt obligated to write him out of the blue to get "closure" when she has found her dream man. I mean, I broke up with an ex for a reason... they are my past and I leave it at that. It just didn't make any sense that she had to look up her past and be like..."well, I didn't choose you yet I still want to know what you're up to." I did speak to my bf about this and told him everything.. of how it made me feel and how it affects our relationship and he said that if it really affecting me/us that much, he will cease communication because it will make me happier and thus, make the both of us happier in our relationship. He is one that is very rational and realistic and can tell from a mile away when something is bothering me. Having this issue bottled up inside of me for so long, I just exploded with a ton of feelings and he could see where I was coming from. So, we will see after the next couple of days/weeks how things are handled. We talked for hours about anything and everything that tied in with this, with life, and with our relationship and now I know how he feels about certain things and vice versa. For me, it was kind of a sense of cleansing the soul... being able to start on a clean slate and I feel a ton better. I know for a fact that I would have felt like a real b**** had I emailed his ex... but you know, I'd never really follow thru. I knew that the situation was between him and I. But thank you.

I have tried yet he insists that I trust him and not be jealous. It's not that I don't trust him or am jealous... I just don't understand why he neglects my feelings when I say that this is bothering me.

I've got an issue that has been bothering me for a while now. Basically, my bf and I have been together for 2 years but about a year ago, my bf would get random emails from his ex. I told him once before that I am uncomfortable with the fact that they are conversing because I feel as though it's disrespectful and he's neglecting my feelings. He says that I need to trust him and that it's innocent. However, if your significant other asked you to quit this, would you? I don't really want to bring the issue up again because I don't want to cause an argument but at the same time, I was thinking about emailing the ex-gf, asking is she would quit emailing him and respect our relationship. Do you think that that is a good idea or something that you would even consider??? Please help me. I feel so lost and hurt right now.

No, but see, I don't even know how to address that. I ask myself the same thing.. why does he still contact her??? Runs thru my head ALL day long.

When you are in a relationship with someone, don't you do everything you possibly can in order to make that person feel like the most special in the world? What I am getting at is that my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. About 6 months ago, his ex emailed him out of the blue saying that she seeked "closure." So he responded back giving her closure. He got a return email telling him that she was in another state, married and had a son. After that email, he didn't hear from her for another 3 months. Then I found out that he had looked up her email on myspace to see if she had an account and when he saw it, he instantly emailed her and requested her as a friend. They email back weekly. So here's the problem. When she first emailed, I was ok with it. Sure, she wanted to tell him how much better life was now and blah blah blah. But then we got into a small fight because I told him how it made me feel when they emailed back and forth. Instead of ending contact with her, he turned it on me saying that it was because I didn't trust him. That isn't the case at all. The issue is that he is neglecting and not respecting my feelings as his girlfriend when in fact he KNOWS how it makes me feel. I mean, he dumped her because she was nothing but drama and quote "psycho" and couldn't wait to get out of the relationship. So now it doesn't make since that he wants to start up a friendship with her again after all that. Wouldn't you NOT want to re-live those past experiences??? It just hurts my feelings so badly that he isn't being at all respectful of my emotions about him emailing his ex. Though he may tell me when I ask who the email he's reading is from but it doesn't make me feel any better knowing that they still talk. She's married, with child.. why couldn't she have taken her closure and accept the fact that he has moved on. This shows me on both ends of him AND her the lack of respect for me and I just don't know how to approach him to talk about this... again. How can I tell him it's not a TRUST issue but a lack of respecting my emotions as his girlfriend??????? This is really making me depressed and I've tried everything to calm myself down but I can't. Please help me!

I haven't been able to sleep well for almost a year now due to dreams. I can fall asleep just fine but after about 4 hours, I'm tossing and turning and when I have to wake up, it's like someone has thrown me around like a ragdoll. My back and neck hurt so much and I can't figure out why I am unable to sleep thru the entire night. I have tried sleep sedatives but they only make me really drowsy in the mornings... same with Ambien and Xanax. I even tried herbal remedies such as warm milk, lavender baths, and valerian root vitamins... nothing has helped. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to have a good night's sleep or any idea what may be causing this???

Yeah, I agree.

Yeah, I know... it's like sometimes I wish I didn't date guys in bands because of the popularity issue and sometimes I wish that I just had a normal guy that was always into me and made me the primary focus. Yes, I saw the emails but he doesn't know that I read them. But I guess yesterday, for instance, was our anniversary, and I found out that he emailed her ... and I'm thinking in my head... "why on OUR anniversary?!" Ugh, drives me insane but I don't say anything that I haven't already said once or twice before. I just like things when they are pleasant.

I have tried telling him that but he says I am worrying over nothing. I mean, he is entitled to talking to whomever he chooses... but I would think that if he knew how much it hurt me to see this, he'd stop... but then he throws it in my face saying that it's trust issues. I mean, looking back on it, it was over 3 years since she contacted him the first time... and now it's like every month or so. Sometimes I get so mad though that I delete emails she sends because it's like she doesn't care that I'm in the picture now and not her. She's got a husband and child... why does she need to still feel as though she had to keep in contact with an ex-bf, nonetheless??

And on top of that, he's the type of person that doesn't have any enemy in the world... he's always really nice to everyone but I did ask him to make it a point to let certain people know (other chicks) that there are boundaries as far as me being his gf... but I don't want him to disrespect me or take advantage of me... you know?

He said (as well as his family) that they would ALWAYS get into fights and she went psycho on him... and so they made the decision that for one week they wouldn't contact each other. After that one week, my bf told her that it was the best week of his life because there was no drama and so they split. I don't know... everyone tells me i have nothing to worry about and it's probably mind games going on. Drives me crazy

I totally agree... I wouldn't get back with any of my ex's for anything. I guess I just wonder when my bf tells me that his ex's were psycho and whatnot... why he'd continue to bring that in his life when we have everything perfect and drama-free. Must be a guy thing, I guess.

Do you think it's just insecurity and that I shouldn't worry about it? I mean, I've seen the content in the email and it's harmless... just the typical "hey, how are you... what have you been up to.." type thing.

If you are dating a person, is it "normal" to feel jealous when that person still stays in contact with the ex's? Here's the scenario in short: My bf and I have been together for almost 2 years. His ex one day emailed him out of the blue... she now lives in another state, is married, and has a child. Well, it'll be a month or so in between that they will email back and forth.. however, my bf will email her outta the blue and when he gets a response back, he says that she emailed him first. I know he's told his friends that he says SHE made the first move because he wants to protect my feelings and not start any drama but I don't know whether to take it as him trying to hide something or really not want me to be jealous. What do you think? I mean, how do some people deal with their current relationships still contacting the ex's? I always believed in leaving the past where it was... and moving on... but maybe that's just me.