Karhu

I never once said I was bored. I actually said I’m really into her “I have to admit I feel more comfortable around her than anyone I’ve ever been with.” Yes I am writing a lot about psychological analysis, that’s just me (ENTP). Maybe I’m analyzing it so much because it’s fun (and she’s in my head all the time so why not talk about it in the forumn). I know that I barely know her, and it’s WAY too soon to get any real understanding. Although I know that in the past when looking back at relationships that have failed the signs have quite often faintly been visible at the very start. And not really taking much notice of the signs at the start, and over time small things become nagging issues which ultimately cause large problems. So I think you can still get quite good hints even during the honeymoon phase, you just have to look a bit deeper past the tinted glasses. Yes the truith will come out in a couple of months. And I know I have to be patient as it takes time to really understand someone (even if it feels like you already understand them from eternity). I guess I’m just curious about other people who have dated someone that is so similar to them, and how their similarity/differences affected the relationship past the honeymoon phase?

I have been wondering if it is possible that someone is too much like you then is that a good thing or a bad thing? I met a nice girl, so far been on 5 dates in 2.5 weeks that I’ve known her. The funny thing her personality is EXACLY the same as me in every single respect. We are both ENTP (search Myer Briggs on the internet). both adventurers(engram), We both see the world in the same way, both are optimistic extraverts, both see spirituality in the same light, both like to independently investigate truth instead of taking it as face value, both courteous & polite, both generous, both are like cats when it comes to affection (purr, scratch me under the chin), both like a lot of exercise and healthy food, both have nearly identical childhood experiences, both have been in similar style of social groups, both love traveling and seeing the world, both value equality of men and woman etc , both have similar parents, her brother is just like my sister, she has the same occupation as my mother, both are entrepreneurs, both like strategy games (her favorite is chess, I think that’ll change once I teach her Go), both are creative inventors, both like dancing and skiing. The list goes on and on. Actually I can’t think of a single thing that is different about us (besides what’s between the legs). I’ve heard that it’s sometimes good to have some differences from your partner, and if you are exactly the same then people can get bored of each other etc. apparently it is good to have someone slightly different that will complement your characteristics. Has anyone ever had problems because their partner was too similar? i don't know how we handle disagreements as it's too early in the relationship and we haven't had a single topic that we've differed on, i guess how people can cope with inevitable differences and fights really effects the long term perspective of a relationship. Is there such thing as being too similar? Or is this a match made in heaven? While cuddling last night she said that she sees me as a mirror of her own soul and can grow from reflecting off me. That sounds very deep to me. She’s already made several similar comments in only the last 2.5 weeks that I’ve known her. I guess this is around the stage then people express all their emotions and where people make decisions if dating will turn into BF/GF etc. I have to admit I feel more comfortable around her than anyone I’ve ever been with. But I also know this is just the honeymoon stage of a relationship, so who knows what happens down the track. I just like making some predictions, if there is anything I need to keep my eyes open for to steer things in the right direction. I know this is just the honeymoon stage of a relationship, in the end a relationships success largely depends on people’s communications and how they deal with conflicts. As it’s only the honeymoon stage and we are so similar we haven’t had any conflicts yet, so I’ve got nothing to judge our conflict resolving capability until something comes up. What is everyone else’s experiences? Has anyone ever had problems because their partner was too similar? Or is this just a match made in heaven? Well, I guess I’ll go with the flow and keep seeing her as long as we enjoy it.

saija.flinkkila How does she respond to other things? Like dry humping etc? Have you considered that maybe she is taking it slow because she likes you? some people prefer taking it slower if they really see some potential in a relationship as they value the potential of the relation so much that they don’t want to jepordise it by rushing anything. Yep, if in doubt then take it easy. Doing something rash could only make it worse What is her history? we there could always be more behind the story, obviously you don't know her full story, and we don't fully know your story. I know one girl I once dated had been badly sexually abused by her mother, and had some SERIOUS psycologival problems with affection, and she’d get flashbacks any time someone does anything or even hints approaching her eronious zones. We don’t know the situation with your girl, but the best thing is to take it easy and work on the trust, and open communication. And hopefully she’ll open up and give you more information about what’s going on in her head, and you can slowly work through things.

don't show that you are upset, don't call/message every day, don't try to talk her out of it. just accept it (believe it in your mind is more convincing then putting on an act that you are hiding some strong feelings, girls are very perceptive and will know). then put your life on track. be friendly with her, don't say anything that would indicate she got to you. it's about building up her interest in you, making her chase you. You want her to be the one doing the chasing now, people like the chase when they value the reward (build your rapport) and they know it is not a chase in vain (don’t be rude to her, and indicate with eyes/body language that the door is open for her to come in) if you are a easy lap dog who seems like they will always wait around for her then she will think you’re always there, so she can have some fun else ware, and then she can always come back to you whenever SHE desires. That’s not a good position to be in. don’t put yourself below her and start groveling or anything, you are equal to her, and she needs to realize your value, and that you don’t just wait for anyone, and deserve respect from your partners. There are many more girls in the world and you are young, it you always think that then you won’t bee clingy or dependant. And if girls see you as having real value, and they have to really work for you then they will see that you have high standards and are of value. You only have the value you put on yourself. There is a TON of articles on this topic on the internet

if you want to try unprotected then don't only worry about pregnancy, but also wait 6 months and both get checked for STD's. (and be sure she's not sleeping around on you) yes it does feel smoother, a lot less friction, one woman said to me that the feeling of cumming inside does not come from the actual liquid, it comes more from the sensations of the PC muscle spasms.

-all the nerve endings are on the clitoris, and around the outer area. the inner vagina does not have any nerve endings so it only indirectly stimulates. -woman’s main sexual organ is her mind. If she loves you and feels emotionally close then it'll turn her on no matter what size you are. If you're insecure about being small, or big-headed about thinking you are the biggest king of the world then it's likely to be a big turn off. a lot of woman like more stimulation on the more sensitive area on the front/outside, eg the sensation of close bodies together, grinding her mound in close etc (or a finger around the front in the crack during sex). of course every woman is different

you are 17. are you the first/one of her first sexual relationships? just a thought, but maybe she is interesting in playing the field first before getting into a more serious relation. beec is right, being needy, or pouting, or jelous will only be a big turnoff. work on developing your life independent of her, and show her how fantastic guy you are and the rest is all up to her.

sex is obviously an issue her in the relationship, and probably the main thing that turns a girl off from sex is pressure and an expectation to perform. getting angry at her or playing mind games with her will only make it worse. just like in many other threads here people say in their OP that their partner wants some space, and what should they do. and the responce is that if you chase them and don't give them the space then they won't come back. the same is happening here with the sex. you making this into an issue is probably one of the main factors that makes it worse. maybe forget about it, and look at the relationship, what can you two do to make the realtionship work smoother, build on the emotional side, the closeness etc. when she feels loved, unjudged and free to express herself then she'll probably be more comfortable in the bedroom and you'll probably end out with more action.

have you ever thought that your problem is not your penis size, but your insicurity. you have some serious personal emotional problems with your feeling of insicurity, which probably makes you much less confident. this has a great effect both in the meeting, dating, and also in the bedroom. try not to be too self conscious and build up your confidence and you'll be right.

different positions make a big difference, go for positions with your legs as wide as possible if it is too tight. and yes, lubrication and foreplay is essential.

I think friscodj pretty much said it. a lot of people think that a relationship is all they need to fix all their life problems... if only they could somehow convince the perfect person to come and take care of them. hence they get lonely and focus purely on that one goal of chasing what they perceive to be the right person. Despite it being a uphill battle, making them depressed and look desperate, and hence unattractive. If they ever do find someone, nobody with those standards is going to want to wait on them and serve them of they are falling apart at the seems. What’s in it for them? you just become a burden on them. instead the best way is to forget about chasing girls etc. work on your life, get stuck into hobbies and enjoying life. you’ll get a lot more confidence, have a happier outlook in life (which is a big attraction). You’ll learn a lot more skills which will make you a lot more attractive. You’ll enjoy your life in the mean time. Work through all your emotional hurdles and become a complete person. That type of person gives out the vibes that they are a interesting easy going person that enjoys life, and will naturally attract like minded people. how can you expect to get the perfect person if you don’t value yourself? By becoming a better person you’ll attract like minded people. Forget about being desperate and chasing after girls, just work on self improvement and putting your life on track and then the right person will naturally be attracted to you. It is not the two half’s making a whole; it should be more like two wholes uniting in harmony to create something bigger than the parts. Like the two wings of a bird, each slightly different, but of equal strength, supporting each other and flapping in unison it makes it possible for the bird to fly.

I would personally want someone to be honest and speak up even if it's hard. If they cheated on me and told me the next day, then with a lot of sincerity, communication and work I could work through the obstacles, and possibly continue the relation, hopefully with the right attitude and communication even growing in strength of relationship from the honesty and openness. However if they lied and tried to hide it, and I found out (which normally would happen eventually) then I’ve lost my trust in them, and it's over. And even if I don’t find out about it, it is still in their head, affecting the realtionship, breeding uncertainty in the relationship, which will then cause a lot of side effects, symptoms, jealousy, problems etc, which would severely hurt the relationship.

not just woman who can dance. also woman who can't dance. if you can dance (especially salsa) woman are normally bored and more then keen to get up on the dance floor, the only ones that are hesitant at first are the ones who can't dance, with a bit of persuasion you can normally tell them that it's ok and that you'll teach them. they always appreciate it, even more then woman who can already dance.

The "still interested" vibe will be blatantly obvious in his body language. quite possibly, especially if you’re the one who broke up with him, he might be thinking that if he keeps a foot in the door then you might change your mind later. The only trouble is you lose your balance when you put your foot in too many doors at the same time. You had something, when you go through a relationship you normally get to know each other on a deeper level than any of his friends would know him. So even if you haven’t seen him for a long time then he probably still appreciates your opinion. I know if I got serious with someone I would still appreciate the opinion of my ex fiancée that I haven’t seen for 2 years now, as she knows exactly what I’m like and would be a valuable opinion on my new partner. There is also the factor of how this changes your relationship with him, maybe he wants to show you that he’s moved on (maybe make you jealous if he wants you back). I also found that with one of my high school ex’s I tried to be friends with her after breaking up with her, but I couldn’t be around her as she refused to stop flirting, and refused to be just friends, so I had to cut contact. I said the only option was friends or nothing, and she wouldn’t accept friends. But now it’s changed as she is now married, and I had a girlfriend, so we could finally be just friends again without me having to worry about her inappropriately coming on to me. It takes quite a long time to be just friends, and a lot of people pretend to be “just” friends but there are still some emotions that complicate things. It sounds like you are not completely over him, and he doesn’t seem completely over you, and you probably still love each other but aren’t right for a life together because you broke up. so it sounds like it is possibly a bit too early to be truly “just friends” and getting involved now could emotionally complicate you and also him and his girlfriend. If I was you I wouldn’t do anything when he visits, it would be too fast, just feel out the situation, and see how to tackle things after the visit.

Personality comes first. it is the most important thing! And personality also changes how you perceive their looks.

blocking him only says you're not interested in him, and so would turn him off. Not a good idea. the way to play it is to switch roles, make him the pursuer, don’t initiate anything directly, but leave open doors and hints for him to start the perusing role. Just play it cool, showing you’re interested with body language when you see him, but letting him do the work of initiating calls and stuff. Good luck!

Truthfulness is the foundation of all human virtues. How can someone be truly honest without being truthful? How can someone be truly faithful without being truthful? How can someone be truly generous without being truthful? How can someone be truly loving without being truthful? How can someone be truly understanding without being truthful? Without truthfulness all their virtues in a way become hollow. You never know if there is something more behind a persons actions. You might only find out about some of the small things now, but in the end the big things will be the things that come back and hit you in the face. It is irrelevant about rhe reason for a particular lie, it is more the fact that they are proven to be untruthful, and that characteristic will cause a lot of problems in the end. For me lying would be more of a stop sign then a red flag. This is not lying, it’s backbiting. Which is a definite NO NO! You don’t know what he’s saying about you behind your back. Backbiting harms both the person doing the backbiting, the person being backbitten and the person hearing the backbiting. I would lose respect for anyone backbiting. ------------------------------------------------------------------ “Backbiting quenches the light of the hart and extinguishes the life of the soul” -Bahaullah “Truthfulness is the foundation of all human virtues.” -Bahaullah

as the others said, it's her turn to return the call. Especially after two messages. i normally like it if i try to call someone and they don’t pick up, and then they see my number on missed calls and then call back. if you call 2-3 times every time she doesn't respond then she'll learn to rely on you being the one doing the work for the calls and so will know that she doesn't feel obliged to be polite and call back as you'll call her a 2nd, 3rd time etc. that's a bad path to go down. the busy excuse doesn't hold up. That’s what people say when they are busy and only slightly interested in someone. you want someone who is crazy about you. Then it doesn't matter how busy they are, they'll want to keep in contact with you. there is always at least 1 min to write a SMS and say you're busy and will call soon etc. i've dated very busy girls and when they are interested they'll make time, even secretly writing a SMS in the middle of one of their staff meetings etc. if you want to know if she's interested in you then look at the body language, especially in the eyes. the same goes with her becoming your girlfriend, it will just happen naturally over time if you are both interested, and the chemistry is there, getting a lot of eye contact, feeling more comfortable over time, etc. when taking it slow i find holding hands is often a good first step along that path, you'll know she wants that by the way she has her hands while talking to you, exposing the wrists, palms up, body directed at you etc. you will know when she wants it. then the simple act of holding her hand will say that we are now going down the dating path. kisses and the rest will follow with time. in the end the way to judge her interest always comes down to her actions and body language. sorry to say but if she's not returning your calls and the body language isn't there then she's probably just not that into you. also the dating game is about the chase, one chases and the other pulls away. if you are always chasing then she will always be pulling away, the way to get her more interested in you is to turn it around, get her to do the chasing and you to do the pulling away. then she won't simply consider you as being easy and that she already has you wrapped around her finger, funny enough it actually builds attraction if a woman feels like she had to work hard to get you. --------------------------------------------------------- "Let deeds not words be your adorning" -Bahaulah

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I find that someone has their base attractiveness, which gets multiplied by their personality over time. As you spend time dating someone and looking into their eyes you see their beauty come out, and start seeing attractiveness even on their obscure physical qualities that others might find unattractive. Or vice versa, a attractive person has an attitude problem and instantly looks like a troll. The eyes area gate to the soul. The eyes say so much about a persons personality, even the thoughts they want to hide are often visible in the eyes. So when meeting someone new I always find their eyes the most interesting and attractive aspect of their looks. Especially when it has a little sparkle. Personally I find looks get the initial attention, but the personality is what decides if I want to continue spending time with someone. In the end we will all grow old and ugly, so it’s important to find someone who you are mentally and emotionally compatible.

leave a day not to be seen as desperate. but not too long that she'll think you're not interested. you don't sound like the club is really your scene. you also have to think what type of girl you want. the type of girl i'm after is probably not at a club. so i find it god to get involved in lots of interesting hobbies where there will be more chance of meeting the type of girl i'm interested in.

if this is not a one night stand, then if it came to 2am and we were both tired and totally drunk(not in peak perfoemance) i would say "thank you for a lovely night, would you like to come over for a movie tomorrow night" and then start the sex at something 8pm when we are both sober and full of energy, and then can do it for the next 6hrs, definutly a better anxiety free long lasting experiance that she would remember, then she's more likely to come back for more then if you would have tried to start something while you were both tired, drunk with the sunrise soon approaching.

i also like tall girls, i'm fairly tall, and it comes down to practical matters, I like them a couple of cm shorter than me, not for psychological reasons, more that you want someone similar height so you don’t need a step/sore neck when you kiss. And a few cm shorter makes the body ratio just right for spooning. In the end it’s the personality that really matters. Tall beautiful woman often only get noticed superficially by superficial guys that only look at her superficial aspects. It is much more meaningful to show her that you are interested in her for her personality.

this is one of the most common themes you can see everywhere on the net, search for "bad boys" "hard to get", "confidence" etc. there is a ton of material on this, in the end it’s the confidence that girls like. And they have it. So they go for the “bad boys”/”Gangster” etc, and then get turned off from their bad behavior. The weak, needy, shy, insecure, outcast boy sitting in the corner doesn’t seem so attractive either. The key is to be yourself and have confidence in who you are. And if you have confidence AND are a total gentleman then they’ll come running to you. The trick is to say that you don’t care about peer pressure, clique expectations etc, and are proud to be yourself. If you are different and insecure then you’re lost, hence insecure people hide their differences, and try to fit in, and pretend to be one of the “G”. this pretender behaviors only shows that you are insecure with who you are. If you are different and totally confident about yourself and differences then your differences will make you unique and be a big plus instead of a negative. The key to this all is your own attitude about yourself.

Yes, I agree, there must be more behind this. What is this about Sweden? And him staying there and possibly bringing you along? What is the rest of the story? There is obviously more to this story. Is he going away and then putting you in a long distance relationship? Is he considering moving to Sweden with you? Etc? these events would have a huge impact on a budding relationship. I know long distance relationships don’t work. I know, I had one for 4 years, and eventually I changed my whole life to move to the other side of the world, only to find that we’d both totally changed and drifted apart. And even when I did move I think she somehow felt guilty that I gave up family and friends to be with her and that she wasn’t willing to part with her family for me, and maybe this helped cause some self-inflicted guild trip on her, etc. anyway, that’s another story, but the bottum line is that long distance relationships don’t work. Is this topic about you moving to Sweden with him? If so then that is like the commitment of moving in with someone times 100. suddenly the big issue of commitment is right in your face. Going from being casual boyfriend/girlfriend to being a partner that you moved to another country with. That means that he’d take a serious look at the relationship, like saying is this the person that I want to live with? Suddenly in the face of a huge commitment even the smallest uncertainty, nagging feeling in the relationship might be enough for him to call it off. Or maybe he’s just freaking out, and maybe he’ll get over it over time as it takes time for a adjustment. I can see you are crazy about him, and all the other signs say that he is interested in you. It seems like something suddenly freaked him out. Hopefully he’ll get over it and come back to you. As the other posters said, the best thing is to take care of yourself, keep yourself healthy, enjoy a bit of a break, take some time for hobbies etc. show your love for him, and open communication to find out what the real issue is. And leave him some space, maybe he just needs some space for his decisions. Give him some space, don’t be too needy, as that’ll only degrade yourself. Show that you are a complete independent individual that can stand on their own feet even without him, and show your good sides and hopefully after some consideration he will open up and come back. And even if it is over, he you deserve the respect of having a complete and honest explanation about why it ended. That is the respectful thing to in ending a serious relationship.

exactly, she's got her hooks into you and is pulling your strings like a puppet, she likes having her puppet, and she is scared that your ex or any other interest will cut the strings. move on and be happy with your life