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Everything posted by Karhu

  1. that is good you make the decision upfront. a respectful decision before anyone gets hurt. as said earlier in this thread, it doesn't seem like she has some hard rule about not dating outside of the religion, and this only developed later. and i know some of the guys she's flirting with now are not christian.
  2. yes, i think you're right. and it doesn't make it any easier when we were together last night, and she was acting sily, giving me the cheeky look, hitting me with a roll of paper etc. i don't mind being friends if she'll be just friends with me, but when we were together she made it seem like there was hope for something more then friends. but then i don't want to mess around with someone that is just going to toy with me and string me allong while she is obviously doing the same with several other guys. i only want something serious, exclusive with mutual respect.
  3. I saw her last night, first contact for over 2 weeks (just when I was getting my mind straight). She just happened to turn up at the salsa club that she knows I ritually go to every single Monday night, and then said “oh, what a pleasant surprise to run into you” Actually I knew she was there when I walked into the place and ran into her brother in the rest room. I saw considering slipping out the back without meting her, but then knew that her brother would tell her that I was there, and it’d be strange. So I was civilized and made an appearance. She nodded when I came in, but
  4. Thank you for your kind words Yes, it is a very positive faith. It has helped me through many things in all aspects of my life. I like it how there are reasons behind the guidance instead of having to do something purely on faith. It has helped me grow immensely in my personal life. The down to earth teachings for how to build a unified global civilization also inspire me a lot as I’ve always wanted to assist in making the world a better place, making heaven on earth. I used to feel like a lone ranger in the betterment of the world before I found out about the Bahai faith, now
  5. I think it’s fine to make a decision about something when you understand it. It is infeasible to expect everyone to believe the same as you. What I don’t think is right is if someone makes a judgment on something they know absolutely nothing about, and say they can’t even try to understand it, as if they investigate it they would be affected by a “bad spirit”. And so blindly follow what their sect of the church teaches, labeling things they don’t know about as a “bad spirit”. Blindly following any interpretation can only lead to fanaticism. And if the person was born in another part
  6. yes. I guess she is a bit of a "princess" and the world then seems to revolve around her. Everyone notices her, she has strangers/stalkers tracking her car movements, many many admirers of her stuck in the "friend zone" (a lot of her male friends got INCREADIBLY jealous when I started dating her). She says she would prefer not to have all the attention, bus somehow her personality and actions seem to attract many satellites. I wonder how many other guys she’s done this to. Well I’m not going to be another satellite. I’m not going to suck up to her in some dream of someday winning the p
  7. I have considered that. She seems very honest and truthful, and I wouldn’t expect her to be hiding something behind my back. And if she was untruthful then I wouldn’t want to be involved with her. Although it is interesting that she was originally planning a week long trip to Albania at the end of may with a group from her church. Then when things were going really well with us she suddenly felt really strongly about not going on the trip anymore. Although I encouraged her to still go on the trip as it’s always good to travel and one week apart in a relationship isn’t the end o
  8. If religion was such a big issue then why didn’t she say anything about it a few months ago? She knew my religion was different but didn’t show much interest in perusing the discussion. Never asking any questions, and whenever religions topics would come up she’d change it to talking about Jesus, I’m open minded and went with her conversation, so we mainly ended out talking about her faith, and not showing any interest in finding out more about my faith that she knew little about. If it was really such a big deal then I would have expected something a bit earlier. At the very end
  9. Yes, there have been some developments. As I previously said, we had planned a 6 day holiday to Dublin while we were going out. We had only bought tickets but had not arranged the details of the trip. Then we had the breakup, which was 2 weeks before the Dublin trip. Following that she was slow in returning phone calls, and we only talked a few times over those two weeks. She had promised to visit one night but never showed up (it would have been polite to at least SMS that she wasn’t coming). I didn’t want to hassle her trying to get in contact with her, but wanted to know what
  10. Thanks for your reply LPD. I agree, I don’t think Christ intended people to judge other people (e.g. Luke 6:41). I can’t actually see where it specifically states in the bible that you can’t date non-Christians. Just saying that people shouldn’t be “unequally yoked” (Corinthians 6:14) Sure, I’m not a Christian, so does that mean that I’m “unequally yoked”? I understand and follow guidence in Christianity, but I also have so much more on top of that from the revelation in my faith. So what about someone that is spiritual but doesn’t follow the exact interpretation of some
  11. what ever happens, i think I’ll just trust in the will of god. her beliefs are her beliefs, and it is up to her (or god) if/when she’ll be comfortable with mine. I abide by the will of god. In a way I guess that also makes it easier to stay friends and in close contact while staying healthy and independent, while getting over the emotional bond of the relationship we had. I don’t believe in totally handing everything over to “fate” as fate doesn’t do anything if you just sit on the couch. So I’ll stay positive, and keep positive energy in the friendship. While continuing to live a full
  12. I never intended to imply that I expected her to change to my religion. I DO NOT. I simply want her to respect my different beliefs and accept me for having those beliefs, in no wise adopt them herself. everyones beliefs is their own choice. So when I said “Maybe after years of being friends she’ll become more accepting ” I meant that I hoped that over time she would see that my faith has a very positive influence in my personal life and so isn’t such a bad thing for me. This is a totally separate issue then what she personally follows. I see her connection to the light of god through jesus
  13. I told her about my faith after a week and a half of dating; she didn’t know anything about it. Then we dated for about 2 months, in which she didn’t ask much about details, but knew that it was a different faith. If it was so important to her I would have expected her to ask more about it over those two months. I think it is when she realized that it is based on a totally different revelation, based on a new manifestation of god for this age. That she started having more problems. And how Christ can’t have returned yet as some of other prophecies in the bible are apparently not completed y
  14. a small sign of hope: she happened to be at the salsa dance place this evening, so we ended out dancing most of the night. she was flirtations with her looks, and with the dancing (even though that's how she is, a bit wild) but she was very closed with her body language, and i knew haling her hand would be out of the question. i felt like showing her some affection, and put my arm around her and stroked her ear at the end, she seemed to be enjoying it for a while, then suddenly freaked out, and then was closed with her body language again. we ended the night with a very long hug. it's ha
  15. i wonder if i could find out what is really behind it? somehow if there was some explainable reason it would be easier to know what I’m dealing with, and then either react accordingly, or move on knowing what it was. In my mind the “different religion” doesn’t seem to be an adequate reason to end something that seems so incredible in all other respects. However it is probably just something she can't verbalize, I know I normally simply rely on my intuition when dating, and so normally somehow know when something is not right instantly. I know I’m very selective with my intuition and she
  16. I don’t think she was purposely using me as a “stopgap”. She was originally incredibly excited about the relationship. Saying that “the one” had finally come, and “god had answered her wishes”, and seemed incredibly eager about the relationship thinking that “I was the one in the plan”, all this time she knew my different religion, although we hadn’t really talked about the religious issues much in the first couple of months (dating advice says stay away from religion and politics discussion). Then at some stage about a week ago she suddenly became very interested in finding out everythin
  17. Yes, exactly. And I follow everything in Christianity, so in my mind I think there shouldn’t be a problem. The extra revelation on top is all very positive, everything is about building unity and harmony in the world. And i think that when she understands that it's all positive that she might become more accepting of it. Not that she has to believe it herself, but just accept that i also wish to also utilize this wisdom in making my life more fruitful. Yes, I think a part of it was lack of knowledge, she was very eager to find out everything about it at one stage. she is still looking
  18. I wonder how she feels about me “converting to Christianity”? What does that really mean anyway?? Accepting Jesus as your savior? I already do. Although on top of Christianity I also have the revelation of Bahaullah, which adds a lot more understandings to life, and clarifies a lot of things in the bible that I couldn’t understand earlier in life before becoming a Baha’i. I wouldn’t want to give that up, as it has so much wisdom in it, containing the spirit of god, and his revelation clarifies a lot of aspects of Christianity that I previously couldn’t understand. without it i couldent unde
  19. I feel quite comfortable going through the processes involved in officially becoming Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Islam, or Jew, as i see they are just different lamps of the same light of god. The essenses of them are all the same. yes there are some social differences in the ordinances of different ages, specific to the state society in which it was revealed. Hence they all say roughly the same thing, there are some small differences between them relevant to the age. So what would happen if I officially became a Christian? In a way I am already a Christian, and follow the bi
  20. Thank you for your support everyone! Here is an update: We went on a hike today, and a lot has happened, sorry if the story is a bit long, hopefully it is interesting. I’m still not sure of our status, not very positive, but I feel like there might be a very very slight chance, and any chance is better than nothing.. Yes, you’re right, I’ve got nothing to lose in trying. And it feels like the decision is not totally decided, just nearly decided, but I feel like there is a slightest hint of hope somewhere, so I’ll try. I can always heal after, I know I’m strong and will get through every
  21. I’m thinking a bit clearer now this morning. yes, it would have been much much easier for her to say so at the very start. she seemed to be fine with the different religion at the start, as we both had the same spirit and energy and thought in similar ways. one time about 5 weeks ago she asked how i felt about a different religion, and hinted some slight insecurity, but that's all I’ve ever heard of the issue till a day and a half ago. yes, it is important for each individual to spiritually support each other. I understand that might be a lot harder with different religions. and if it
  22. last night i felt like i was shot in the hart. today i felt like i drank a lot of sulfuric acid. 8 cups of strong ginger tea and my stomach is saved from exploding. My friends kept me company this evening, but my headache is now killing me, and sleeping doesn’t do anything for it. I had to skip dance class as I couldn’t concentrate. Well this is only day 1. I’ve never felt a breakup nearly as hard as this. It just doesn’t feel right. I nearly want to have a big fight with her just to have some justified reason to breakup. That'd make it much easier.
  23. This is exactly it. i just want us to respect each others religion. It doesn’t matter if the other partner believes something different, as long as they can respect each others beliefs. If there was something else wrong with the relationship I’d accept the decision easily, but when everything else is so perfect, and I believe in unity of religions and that this shouldn’t be a problem. It makes it hard for me to accept this reason for a breakup of such a good relationship. But then how do you negotiate such a discussion? I see somehow respecting each others beliefs is the only last string
  24. Yes, I agree I don’t want to convince her to believe what I believe, that’s just wrong for anyone to try to change others beliefs. Just acceptance for the differences. I guess you’re right, I should just move on. She wants to be friends, I think I’ll do that for a few weeks, give a chance for us to talk through these issues. In the last few months I’ve tried to avoid the religious subjects a bit as I was sort of afraid of this effect. But maybe with some more understanding there might be more acceptance. Well at least I’ll have to spend 6 days in Dublin with her, as we already have the t
  25. My girlfriend just broke up with me last night. purely because of me being a different religion from her. My girlfriend just broke up with me last night. Simply due to me being in a different religion. Everything else was so perfect between us, a STRONG spark, matching personalities, a strong feeling of love and connection, matching hobbies, matching outlook on life, good communication, It would be easy if there was some personal problem but the only issue is the different religion. I’m a Baha’i, and she’s a Christian. I’d understand and easily accept breaking up if we didn’t like each
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