Zaphod
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Everything posted by Zaphod
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My Sister had this. Lily - Be warned - an obsession with perfectionism and control, combined with your eating habits can lead to an eating disorder. I am worried about the way you keep going on about physical perfection without the realisation that it doesn't actually exist. Please deal with this before it turns into something more serious. You have support on this forum at least. You can be strong.
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Ermm... I'll get flamed for this but.... Weed?
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What you weigh is irrelevant. Muscle is denser, and weighs more than, fat.
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Well perfect in your eyes, but I still say a man likes a few curves - Look at pre raphalite (sp?) paintings - in those days, "perfect" may have been a pear shape for a woman - there are some tribes in the world and some countries where fat women are considered a better catch than thin women. I'm not trying to tell you how to be or what to think, perish the thought, however I can reassure you that men like curves! Often I've been with a curvy woman and she's lost weight and suddenly I don't find her so attractive - sexy, that is.
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Tell her you'd be happy to respond but your mailbox will only allow you to send messages of 10,000 words or less - That's what I got from my ex too - "dunno whetehr I could ever feel about you the way I originally felt" - these people don't realise that feelings don't just come and land in your lap, you have to work on them yourself to a certain degree as well. Ok in the beginning feelings come easily but over time you actually have to nurture them. Which by all acounts is too much effort for some people. If she will insist on seeing you through a ceratin filter, then there's nothing you can do about that. On the other hand if the feeling really is truly "gone" for you then there's women out there that will make you feel like a prince, and NOT be vague about their feelings. They will have the sense to recognise you as a good catch. Either way, believe in yourself.
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Aha - but that doesn't explain the DJ Rankin album and the Burberry cap that you have hidden in your wardrobe, which you indulge in when you think no one's looking.
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Seems pretty cool to me! Mature and balanced, yet still managing to get in the dig about her being immature. I think 'tis good.
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With all due respect your man takes the lazy option to a healthy body. You can eat whatever diet you want , but without exercise, it's meaningless. Sounds to me like he has a slight mental eating disorder, if you don't mind me saying so. Could stem from a control thing. Or the memories of being overweight.
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I sense this is one of the things that men and women fight about nowadays - the relationship "moving forward". Personally I think that concept is an illusion a lot of the time. Of course I'm a guy LOL how on earth did you guess. However I'm also a commited guy - I have seen many women through many hard times without batting an eyelid, I have been there for them when it's over. I am faithful both in body and spirit. However - I'm not religious and see no reason to get married apart from financial reasons (which is originally what marriage is all about NOT love and NOT religion). So come to that stage I might, but I don't need a woman to marry me to know that she is committed.
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I don't know. It certainly ain't a bit of paper saying you are "married". Look at the divorce rate. It means nothing more than the paper it's written on. Real commitment is in the heart, soul, and spirit, not on a piece of paper. Living with someone isn't "playing" house - it's doing house for real - just because you aren't married doesn't mean you're just "playing". I fear this is why a lot of relationships break up - one or both parties are socially conditioned to think there is a "next logical step" or if you don't end up married the "relationship's not moving forward" or "There's no commitment". I think this is a shame in today's society.
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Perhaps you could gently explain to him that he's a living breathing dynamic ever changing being who's body weight will constantly fluctuate throughout his life. Sounds to me like this guy is stressed. Explains the irrationality. If he hasn't got the balls to admit that to you then I worry for your communication, which you will both need plenty of to get through this.
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I'm confused - isn't the fact that he's been with you 7 years a sign of commitment? What other "commitment" did you ask for?
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It is possible to be nice and a hellraiser at the same time
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Perfectly "thin"? In my mind a perfect woman has some curves, I bet you're a whole lot sexier with that 7-8lbs extra . Anyway - I think perfectionism is a control thing, an insecurity thing. BTW - you do know that perfection doesn't exist don't you? You are chasing the sun. On the other hand - it's nice to see someone with some high standards. I am unrealistically perfectionist about my art(web design and graphics) and my music. I don't like people seeing it until it's "ready" and I'm never ever satisfied with my own work. However I realise that to expect perfection would be unrealistic. There is a state of mind that a good artist will take for example IMHO to make the best of yourself and this is my own homemade phrase for it - "Aim for perfection but at the same time realise that you will always fall short (as it doesn't exist)". Sorry my post seems superficial and a little cold, but I have had this experience myself. Perhaps you need to re-jig your definition of perfection, and accept that nothing is perfect? Perfection doesn't exist - it's a theoritical philosophical mathematical tool - a bit like "infinity" - it is a concept.
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Isn't this a contradiction? Or not? I'm confused.
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Whenever i've dumped girls, I've been pretty cool afterwards - I only ever dump them for good reason - i.e. we're fighting, or infidelity, or I don't fancy them anymore/they don't fancy me anymore (superficial but important)/out of love. I must admit to never dumping a girl because we hit hard times - this is almost one of the enjoyable things about having a partner (if they're a good partner that is) - you can see each other through hard times and support each other. Definitely worse being the dumpee for me.
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Freud - yes?
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Have you tried doing 20 press ups? I know it sounds stupid but this is sometimes how I feel. I don't want to give mis advice but excercise is a known way to release endorphins and restore the "balance" in your mind - possibly the source of your panic.
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Anxiety is a growingly more common social disease, especially in civilised society - the reason being that we have engineered things in such a way in our push button concrete and metal world, that we no longer find ourselves (often) in the situation where we have to flee, in other words where the "fight or flight" anxiety/adrenalin charge is set off. thereforeeee most people have excess of this lying around, because let's face it, most of us (including me) probably lead a relatvily sedintary(sp?) lifestyle involving lots of er..... not running away from wild animals and not fearing for our lives etc. etc. It's this excess that's getting people I think. Sometimes when I have a (near) panic attack, I feel that if I had a kick bag set up or something, or I could put on gloves and get beat up by some boxer, then somehow I would feel better. It feels like adrenalin with nowhere to go, as I'm sitting in my flat on the computer or whatever just sitting still and "worrying" about my break up and feeling myself get anxious. And "going for a run" is not really practical at 2 o clock in the morning. Anyway I know that probably sounds like complete rubbish, and it probably is, so ignore my ramblings, but this is what I think could be one of the contributory factors in why people seem to be suffering more and more from these things. I've been noticing this for a while.
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Oh right, nothing heavy then
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The only thing I'll say (I've only ever fractured a finger no broken bones, but I've had certain other injuries) is when it comes to physiotherapy - it is most important even though it can be quite painful and ditressing (mine was). She has to be very disciplined about doing it, it will serve well in the future for regaining maximum movement with minimum stiffness.