Zaphod
-
Posts
1,109 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Articles
Videos
Blogs
Store
Everything posted by Zaphod
-
Well you may think you want a Ferrari, but that's only because you've never seen an Aston Martin. Or some such soundbite. I think you get my point though. You sound like a lady who's got a nice surprise coming to her somewhere along the line. Someone who is BETTER than your imaginary friend. But maybe not in the way you might think. There are men out there that are good looking and caring.
-
This raises the question - "What if your partner is looking at porn imagining the woman is you? When you're not there? How would you feel about that?" - of course I suppose it depends on the video, but I'm talking about the kind that maybe does NOT degrade women.
-
No - that's not what I said. I am trying to say that I think soft and perhaps medium-ish porn are ok, but any harder than that I do not really - as it tends to degrade the woman IMHO and I watch (soft to medium) porn to ADMIRE women not to degrade them. The fact that soft porn is my kind of porn does happen to make it ok by coincidence - but if hardcore violent porn was my kind of porn then it would NOT be ok. Just to clear that up. Sorry if I was vague before.
-
Well I'd also back you up in so far as I think it's ok to request your man doesn't watch porn. However can't agree porn is the abuse of sex - soft porn for example is a completely different thing from hardcore porn. I'm a fan. I prefer soft porn to hard porn to be honest. Some porn shouldn't be allowed though and is not "porn" but just gratuity really. I worry for the men that like to see the kind of porn where the woman is "abused" - it's nothing to do with sex and I can't understand it.
-
Again - he is under the impression that the trinkets make the woman. Not for example beauty of eyes or bone structure. "Letting yourself go" would be neglecting your diet and teeth, growing fat, negelecting personal hygene. Nothing to do with superficial make up and stuff. It sounds like he wants to be a certain way. Well fair enough. It's just up to you to decide whether you actually want to be that way. Which you kinda don't sound like you do so far. We all like a bit of stocking and suspender and make up, there's nothign wrong with that, but to be under the impression that a woman has "let herself go" just because she doesn't do this is wrong IMHO.
-
She broke up so i can get my self sorted out
Zaphod replied to steelsabre's topic in Relationship Advice
" will wait for you carl...i love you too much and want us to work for me not to...i hope you will still want to be with me in the end...i know i run that risk...but right now i have to take it. " Good luck. -
She broke up so i can get my self sorted out
Zaphod replied to steelsabre's topic in Relationship Advice
She's taken the trouble to say she'll wait for you! Gotta take it at face value, man. My girl just dumped me I suspect for similar reasons, however she has told me there's no going back. At least yours has said you can come back. It's there in black and white in the email. If she's gonna let you down she's gonna let you down - however if you get yourself sorted out then if she does let you down at least you'll be sorted out yourself. Your sorting of yourself out is your safety net against her letting you down. Think about it. It's gotta be done. -
-
You said this (below) earlier in the thread which is what put me on that train of thought. It seems like the videos are brainwashing him into unrealistic expectations of women.
-
Have some fun. Don't expect anything out of it. You're lucky enough to have the company (albeit limited ) of an attractive young lady. More than a lot of men get. Just take the fun while it's there and move on. Think of it this way - you could have never kissed her or taken her out at all. Think of it more glass is half full.
-
Ah. Alarm bells. Alarm bells. You want a guy that actually KNOWS about women - surely you owe it to yourself? What's your view on couples watching it together? Like you play a game where you have to copy the video etc. etc. - 'tis a fun game! I think it's a pretty fair request to make though - that your gentleman shouldn't watch porn. Each to their own. It is one of those things like whisky say that not everyone is neccessarily into.
-
gfein - I picked up my valium prescription today - lol. Same here - it's a mental thing I think, worrying , uncertainty etc. etc. my recent break with my g/f has set it off - I went something like 80 or 90 hours without sleep when we broke up a couple of weeks ago. I find that good hobbies help! Something creative you can get into. But this is more a long term life solution. For now perhaps go to the doc. Talking of hobbies - I love your avatar - did you make it yourself? Am I talking to a fellow web designer (etc.) ???
-
It all depends what you mean by "porn"...... Watching lesbian soft porn for exmple is very different from watching hard core fetish, for example. Watching amateurs is different from watching the Silvia Saint type boob job stuff. If your G/F goes away fro a few weeks/ you don't sleep together for a few weeks, the man has to erm.... lighten himself somehow..... porn is just an easy way of doing it. A lot of the time men will imagine the characters in the video are the woman/women of his dreams - perhaps even you. I doubt it's because he actually wants to sleep with the actual actresses in the video. I always think porn is fun. However if it gets too graphic and ceases to be sexy, it becomes sinister, also if your man is at the point where he is getting brainwashed by all the make up and boob jobs then he's being a bit of a prat IMHO - I apologise for saying so but that's what I think.
-
I spy a contradiction If she wants to be with you, why was she with him?
-
A puzzleing question about my girlfriend
Zaphod replied to shep88ner's topic in Friendship and Friends
Sounds to me like your girlfriend is a good person surounded by the usual common lump & proletariat that go to make up the general public. I would argue it's not her that's at fault but them. She deserves a better class of person for a friend, now these are rarer to find. Be patient. -
I had a bit of this problem with my ex - she was a bit quiet. I think it's ok, but it started to grate on me a bit when she was quiet about important stuff. You have a right to be quiet and shy, however you have a duty to communicate and be confident with your girlfriend and possibly others as best you possibly can. No man is an island. Try coming out ya shell a bit if only when with her - you might find you get rewards - but nobody would expect it to be fair for you to change the essense of who you are, just maybe turn down the "shy" dial from a 10 to a 9?
-
Fair enough but on the other hand, one does have an instinct for these things, and also every relationship is different - just because I have 10 relationships doesn't necessarily mean I am prepared for the eleventh - just a thought.
-
Hmmmm.... nightpumpkin I can see where you're coming from. One doesn't necessarily have to be "experienced" in relationships to be naturally wise enough to have one's own thoughts on the matter. I don't have to jump off a cliff to know it hurts. I agree with you to a certain extent, but also think that NC is a good thing a lot of the time. I think why is because 1 : It stops you making a prat of yourself and spooking the other person out. 2 : It helps you centre your mind and emotions after the break. 3 : It allows you to get a new partner without THEM getting spooked out by the presense of an old bf/gf. 4 : It allows you/both parties to heal properly withouth continuously "picking" at the wound. HOWEVER I believe that if both parties think there may be a chance of reconciliation then don't hold NC for too long, as you might go off the boil so to speak. It certainly happens a lot of the time that couples just need a break or something and they are destined to get back together, but they need to "refresh" first by having NC - it reminds you who you both are. I think though if NC is held too long by two parties that actually want each other back it can grow resentment perhaps - just a thought. For the most part though I think it is a good thing for the reasons I originally mentioned. Those are my thoughts on it.
-
Funny you should bring up LP's - one of the hobbies we have enjoyed together is DJ'ing - mostly vinyl! We are both house dj's. However I doubt she'd be too familiar with Led Zeppelin 3 The "did I see it coming" bit is a bit of a bummer - catch 22 - I should have seen it coming but took my eye off the ball due to my life stresses, I tried to pick it up again recently and like I say wanted to chat to her about lightening off, but it seems it is too late for her. I've even talked this through with ther in the past - the age gap - and we've always decided it was not a problem. However perhaps she was not being honest with herself. Or perhaps it was nothing to do with the age gap - she has been rather vague with her reasons. I'm still a touch confused by it. Yeah exactly - I'm pretty immature as far as life goes for a man in his mid thirties - I am an artist, web designer, and musician - I don't have a steady career, rent a flat, and am not ready to get married. However I would like to consider myself mature in terms of respecting other people, and emotional stuff to be fair to myself. We are a good catch for a younger lady IMHO they seem to have fun with us. She chased me in the beginning really, started phoning me out of the blue and stuff.
-
Hmmmm.... personally I'd give it a miss. Seeing another man inside your woman will shock you no end. You and two women though - that's another story LOL but seriously - just give it a miss full stop. If her fantasy is - let's think how to put this - to have two men "inside" her then why don't you incorporate some sex toys or something into your sex life as a kind of substitute? It's emotianlly safe and kind of halfway satisfies her fantasy.
-
Ah - I had this once a year ago. Was there for a few days then cleared up. Probably just a burst blood vessel - you horny thing LOL. Keep an eye on it - if it doesn't go away or if it happes again then get it seen to with a doc. Don't panic - remember a tiny drop of blood can look a lot more than it is, in other words there probably isn't nearly as much blood in there as you think there is. All it takes is one small drop to stain it totally red.
-
This is the problem with ya modern day electronic communication - your never quite sure whether the other person actually got it - texts/emails/etc. Or perhaps he's composing somethign back and it's taking him a while to think of the words? All kinds of possibilities, none of which you can do anything about.
-
Bah - 'tis just thoughtlessness and patronisation. Another reason of proof to you why you don't want to be with this person anymore. Think of it that way. She doesn't think properly before she does things, obviously
-
yeah darkpumpkin that was kinda what had occurred to me. Shame that now the stress is over and she's gone I think the age gap thing does work - but it depends on the individuals, at what stage they're both at with their lives and so forth..... I am a very young 36 year old put it that way. Not immature, just young The ladies always mistake me for 25 hahahaha that's gotta be fun hasn't it
-
Broke up with my girl about two weeks ago. I'm md thirties, she's early twenties, could have something to do with it. However she's a bit mature like that, part of the reason I was with her for two years - I don't make a habit of dating girls 13 years my junior. Confusing break up - she claims she hasn't really lost any feelings for me, still finds me attractive, still loves me. The relationship has been really good actually, no major arguing, treating each other with respect, very much in love, no skeletons in the closet/ex partners etc. I have been down with life stresses temporarily for about six months - nothign particularly unusual just slight financial worries etc. etc. she suddenly claims she "can't go back". I think she has found coping with my stress a bit heavy. She also thanked me for never directing these stresses on to her in any way, which I was pleased about. Now my stresses are over, I find it confusing she wants to end it - surely our future is brighter now? I had recently decided it might be fun for us to take a step back and start "dating" again - we don't live together, I was looking forward to us freshening things up a bit. But you could have knocked me down with a feather - she wants to end it. Ah well - I conclude with what experience I have that she has decided perhaps it's not so much to do with me as the fact that she doesn't need a relationship in her life at the moment or some such soundbite. I always have problems splitting up with women when ya both still fancy and respect each other - very confusing. When you go off each other for some reason it makes it a lot easier. Anyway - just venting. New here so thought I'd share the story. Pretty heartbroken but hay hum oh well. Just a bit confusing this one, that's all.
