rocio

It doesn't sound like he's disrespected you in any way. I'm not sure what culture your bf comes from, but in many non-Western cultures, it is absolutely forbidden and completely disrespectful to say something negative about a person's parents or grandparents. I would be careful. Start spending less time over there if he bothers you that much. But avoiding telling your bf that you don't like his grandfather, that his grandfather is a moron, etc. I personally would find that absolutely low-class and disrespectful. This is his grandpa - the person who gave his parents life. He deserves all the respect you can possibly give him, regardless of his antics.

Take at least 2 steps: 1. Seek employment, and 2. See a lawyer. If he's in charge of the money, you may have difficulty to see a lawyer without his knowledge at this point (depending on how much access you have to the family money without justifying it). So try to find some kind of part-time employment. I have a greek friend whose father wasn't good to his mother. She never worked, and he simply ordered her around at home. He couldn't even get up and pour himself a cup of coffee. She was like his personal servant. He always told her that was her responsibility because he made the money. Well, at the age of 60, she became fed up and started working for the first time in her life! She now has her own income, a brand new car of her own, and is much happier in general. Imagine how scary it is to start working at the age of 60 when you've never in your life worked outside of home! I love her for it. She's a fabulous woman and I have all kinds of respect for her. She does home care - taking care of elderly and handicapped persons in their home. You might be able to find something similar. Cleaning jobs are also generally not too hard to find, and pay at least $15 per hour. Anyway, look around and see if you can find something. It will give you the confidence and the $$$ to eventually venture out on your own. (and to visit a lawyer). you deserve to be happy.

That's true - that your body craves what it needs. But the message between your brain and your stomach can get confused. If you eat alot of junk food, then your body expresses its needs to you in the form of junk food. If you eat alot of healthy food, you will have healthier cravings. For example, if you're craving sugar, you should eat more fruit, drink more apple juice and eat more honey. It won't satisfy your cravings for cola in the short run, but it will in the long run. Anyway, scarew, don't get down on yourself about your binge eating. Once the baby gets a bit bigger, you won't be able to eat alot at once anyway. There won't be enough room! In the meantime, you should be checking your glucose level with every doctor's visit, and as long as that's okay, you should be fine. Around 30 weeks you'll also have a test of your hemoglobin to test sugar levels and the possibility of diabetes. As long as your doctor doesn't see any reason for concern, then stressing over your eating habits will probably do more harm than the eating habits themselves. I give you permission to hit up macD's.

Yes, you could be pregnant. Do a test to put your mind at ease.

Continue facilitating a relationship between your parents and him. But don't push too hard, because it will only prove to them your immaturity. If you demand, "I'm old enough to make my own choices and you can't stop me", and then go behind their backs you will only be proving them right. If they need you to slow down the relationship, respect that. They're not as stupid as they seem. Don't stop seeing him altogether, but do respect the rules they lay out. You will be proving to them that this older guy doesn't make you lose your head. Also, once they meet him, listen to their opinion. If they say they see unhealthy patterns in your relationship, don't brush them off. They may be right.

Why didn't I catch this thread sooner? I love to be spanked. During sex, I like anything aggressive - hair pulling, slapping, being spanked (not to the point where any of it hurts, of course.. but a little bit can add so much passion). I also love to be spanked even when I'm not having sex. It feels good. And it makes me giggle. Thoroughly enjoyable.. Oh, and btw, I also enjoy anal. Correlation? I dunno..

mmm... donuts.. ice cream sandwhiches.. pastries.. ahhhh..

What does "relieving himself" mean? If it means going pee, then that's normal. The baby pees inside you all the time. If it means going poo, that's highly unlikely. Normally that doesn't happen until shortly before labour, if at all.

sounds like hiccups.

Maybe not due to a lack of time or too much structure. But the office lifestyle is quite restrictive as compared with the college lifestyle. College is about meeting new a different people, learning new things, trying new things, living with crazy roommates... The office lifestyle means that you can afford to live alone (thus not meeting all those nutty roommates and their cuckoo friends). And you do the same thing every day. clearly you have less exposure to new things. Haven't climbed much. But being more focused on the future means that, although I make much more money than I used to, I feel obligated to put it toward savings and investments and grown-up stuff instead of blowing it all on passing endeavors. When you're broke, you don't mind blowing your last $20. When you have lots of $20's, you can't justify blowing them because they accumulate to a house or a car. Absolutely. My colleagues are old.

Yes, you're crazy. And so am I. Why do we put up with these lifeforms?

rub it in why don't you

you're young. you're normal. look around this website to see how many virgins and people who've never had boyfriends or girlfriends there are at your age. If you don't love yourself, no guy can fix that. You are mistaken on that point. I'm sorry you're scared and lonely. Hope things get better for you soon. I'm sure you're not ugly. How do you present yourself? Do you carry yourself with shame - hunched over, little attention to your clothes and makeup? Because that can be a turn off. But as long as you're putting effort into the way you look, then your appearance is not a factor in your being single.

what matters is that you're attracted to him and he's attracted to you. you might think that people in the street care about your size difference, but honestly there are a million things that any given person cares about more than that.

These days there's all kinds of yoga out there, depending on what you're looking for. If there is a place that teaches classes and is accessable to you, just show up for a few classes, try it out, and see what you like. You don't have to be worried about what people think of you because everyone else in the class (including the teacher) has their eyes closed. You can open them a bit to check what the teacher is describing you to do, but for the most part it's very personal. Physically, some classes are harder than others, so you can ask to be sure you're attending a class that's suitable for first-timers. Some classes involve chanting, which will probablly weird you out at first. But remember that you don't have to chant along (nobody will notice if you don't). Or you might even like it because actually feels pretty cool, although you feel like a complete idiot doing it. Personally, I like to avoid the chanting stuff as much as possible If there aren't classes offered close to you, you're too shy, or you don't like what you find, then you can just as easily do it as home. Go to your local library and check out some dvd's. (Or buy or rent some). There are also books on yoga that can show you different stuff.

it's hard to answer your questions. Some people (like my bf) start going to the gym and have noticeable changes within the month. Personally, I gain weight when I go to the gym! (because it makes me hungry and i end up consuming more calories than I've burned). So, it depends on your own body and metabolism. And it depends on what you are eating - the portion sizes, how often you eat (eating often throughout the day is best), etc. I'm a huge advocate of losing weight slowly. My preferred strategy is too lose a bit, then take a while to adjust to the new lifestyle that goes with that new weight. Then lose a bit more, adjust.. etc. I think extreme diets and goals set you up for failure and make you more fat in the end (you lose muscle, but then gain back fat). Focus on sustainability. When you make changes to your diet, ask yourself whether you'd be willing to keep them for life (or at least for the next several years, if life seems to long!) If not, then look for other sustainable changes you can be making. You're gonna look so hot after all of this, your gf would be begging for you to come back! haha.. ok, maybe not. But good things can come out of bad breakups and i'm glad you're turning to positive means of dealing with your pain.

what about a happy medium? take advantage of the social netword at college to meet an Iraqi man born (or at least raised) in America? Most of my friends in university were Muslim (it was a school totally overrun by Jews and Arabs - interesting place to be!!!) of different degrees. I was friends with some girls who wore the whole Abiya (don't know how to spell it) where you could only see their eyes. On the other spectrum, I had a good friend who was Palestinian and non - practising and actually got a degree in religious studies (you can imagine how unimpressed her parents were). Guys too - one of my best friends was an Iraqi guy who believes in Islam but he's totally "westernized" or whatever and respects women. I don't know how many Muslims are in your area, but there are lots in the U.S. and I bet you could find some guys to date who are on your wavelength.

Yeah but that was because you weren't old enough to be dating, and also because (presumably) he wasn't muslim. I think they wouldn't disown you if you married a muslim guy. About NC, just do what you need to. Perhaps being friends with him is the best way to resolve your feelings. You don't want to end up resenting your personal beliefs because you had to give up your first love. End it in the way that leaves you feeling complete.

what a funny thread. i honestly don't notice that people haven't brushed their teeth. but the thought of someone not brushing creeps me out. i don't understand how someone can leave the house without brushing. my boyfriend never flosses and I always tell him he should but he says that they blee when he flosses them (which, of course, happens because he doesn't floss and has gingivitis). Thankfully he doesn't have bad breath. But I made him a dental appointment and the dentist told him exactly what i've been telling him. hopefully he'll start flossing, but i haven't seen any change yet. oh, and my dentist gave us free toothbrushes - the vitality oral B. They are so awesome. My teeth feel polished every time i brush. And they have a timer to tell you when 2 minutes is finished. brushing has never been so exciting! lol

The middle east and islam aren't as barbaric and oppressive as CNN would have you believe..

btw, i doubt that your family would disown you if you continued to stay active within the muslim community, stayed strongly religious and married a muslim man. Would they?

Hmm.. I have a few things I'd like to say. The biggest concern I have is your parents abuse. Remember that abusive parents can come from any culture, country, religion, income, and education level. While some societies and communities are more supportive of physical punishment, abuse is universally unacceptable. That includes discipline that leaves you bleeding as well as emotional abuse that leaves you feeling worthless. Nobody should have to be abused or live in fear of abuse. There is no degree that's worth that - no marriage that's worth that.. it needs to end. Avoiding abuse might not have to necessitate "running away". Perhaps it means putting romantic relationships on hold, failing to disclose information to your parents, or just trying to stay out of their way as much as possible. But you should also no that you do have options. You don't have to stay under their control. I left my home, my family, my religion (I know this is different from your situation, since you chose to be a practising muslim), was cut off and disowned and my family and friends stopped talking to me. That was when I was 17. I'm now 25 and have a masters degree and a job I love. Now, I didn't go to Yale but I'm just saying that you really can go as far as you want in life, regardless of whether you chose your parents' help or not. The American guy you're interested in - he sounds fantastic and clearly cares about you. I have a greek friend who is converting to islam for his Iraqi girlfriend. But in their case, it's more to appease her parents. The girl isn't really religious. In your case, it will be very hard to make things work. The guy can technically change his religion, but changing his personal beliefs is more difficult. What about when you have children? Would he be willing to raise his kids in an Islamic environment if that's not what he truly believes in his heart? Would you WANT a husband who would teach his kids things he didn't truly believe in? Personally, I don't think religion is a choice. You can't choose what your heart believes. Some people are raised in Islam and they accept and believe it. Other people are raised in Islam and never stop questioning it, right? They never really are convinced. And that's not a conscious choice. It's so much bigger than that. Encourage this American guy to study the religion carefully. To attend classses and read the Quran and visit mosques. Maybe it will reach a personal place within him. Or maybe not...

i've posted in the other thread although i have to admit, I don't have any insightful answers. i'm sorry you've had to deal with such an irrational and selfish person.

i think all you can really do is to make it clear that you love her and will always be open to having a relationship. Contact her periodically, regardless of whether or not she responds. Stay calm when talking to her and try not to get too emotional or passionate. Of course, it can be hard because few things in life can be as painful and unfair as being disowned by a parent. Well, that was my strategy and it hasn't necessarily been a success (we don't have a great relationship and my mother still behaves in an unacceptable manner) but it hasn't been a total failure and at least I know that I've maintained my dignity.

double standards are so 20th century