Jump to content

pacopaco

Bronze Member
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    527

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by pacopaco

  1. pacopaco
    i'm not much of a "dirty talker," but i do like to talk a little while doing it. I think i'm more into getting and giving cues a la grunts and moans,and I like hearing the same. dirty talk seems a little like too much work if the girl isn't much of a dirty talker while she's in her clothes (i.e. using a lot of curse words in conversation.) honestly, i think i'd just rather communicate to each other what we both like and then do that. even a silent girl that knows how to move is better for me, i can move too. I once played some music and suggest we go to the rhythm. that was cool. complicated drum beats are fun beats!
  2. pacopaco
    ha ha , I've got all my limbs. i'm cool. ice cream's coming, no doubt about it. Don't get me wrong, I have been feeling way better. I like living on my own now, but it's just a kind of weird sometimes, that's all. no one to shower or sleep with, you know. no dinners together and all that. good thing I still have the good habit of keping my place tidy!
  3. pacopaco
    there is nothing more appealing that watching a great looking woman with a great looking bubble butt walk away. "I love big butts, and I cannot lie." was that Sir-Mix-Alot? but then, I'm mexican, and from the hood, too. ha ha !
  4. pacopaco
    hmmm...redqueen, got no ice cream, but i'm working on getting all back on top my cone, ha ha ! It's weird. I have painful memories, and the good ones, I only feel, like they were lies, and didn't really happen. I feel like robocop, ha ha " i can feel them, but i can't remember them. too bad, I can remember the painful stuff with crystal clarity.
  5. pacopaco
    I have trouble remembering anything good about my ex. any good times, I can't really recall in any detail. I feel things, but i don't remember them. I know she lived with me, but the apartment has only me in it, and while sometimes the sound of the door closing, or footsteps come to mind, I don't really remember anything. I've tried to recall something enjoyable about my experience, but I just can seem to. is this normal? maybe my mind has just filed it all away, or am i repressing things? I don't know, and it confuses me, not in terms of her, but in terms of myself and my mind and heart.
  6. pacopaco
    give him his time, but know that in that time he may decide to be gone for good. you made a choice, and now he wants to make one. he's actually giving you a courtesy you didn't give to him.
  7. pacopaco
    yeah, keep up with the NC. My ex called last night. I was home, she left a mesage saying "I'm just calling to see how you're doing." I let her leave her message. I then played in back once, deleted it, deleted her number from my caller ID. no biggie. I continued listening to Johnny Cash live at Madison Square Garden. It wasn't hard to do. NC, not stopping Johnny Cash, that is.
  8. pacopaco
    hi, I can relate to your husband. My girlfriend of 7 years had an afair with her boss, three months after she started working there. This happened in February Your huband needs to know, really. it isn't fair what you did to him, and it isn't fair that he's living thinking everything is ok. I also have the "was he better, he must be so charming and sincere." thoughts. I've never met the guy. if your husband doesn't know who this is, this'll mess him up, too. It's too bad you did what you did. it is a betrayal, and though he doesn't know it, things have changed in the world you both built. for you, i suggest finding another job. my ex is still at her job. why she stayed, i don't know! Her boss is piling up a bunch of work on her, and he is manipulitive. she knows it now, but it's difficult. she said her work IS her life now because of it. you need to leave that place and cut all contact with anyone from that company. that is, if you want to be honest.
  9. pacopaco
    I think sometimes, people either have way too much to deal with, or they just can't/don't know how to deal with it. When ever I speak with my ex, it's kind of the same thing. she'll say something like "i don't want to talk about this." which then makes me ask, what the hell else is there to talk about? It's true about wanting answers. I'm working on it now. there are things I'll never know, and I shouldn't be going around looking too hard to find them. It'll all come out ion the wash someday, I think. either through talking (which we are not) or through my own piece of mind, which is the one i trust.
  10. pacopaco
    I was having a conversation with a female friend. She told me that my ex keeps in contact because she wants to hold the connection with me. my friend said it could be love, friendship, comfort, sex, whatever, anything. I don't understand why. why? for what? I told my ex that i am not over the feeling that she dislikes me. what other feeling for me would justify her betrayal, other than she could not stand me, and WANTED to hurt me. has any woman here cheated, and still wanted the connection with the man you cheated with? why keep the connection? i'd imagine, if it were I who did this thing, my guilt would be such that I'd want to crawl into a whole, and not be seen by anyone.
  11. pacopaco
    i agree. lately I've been feeling a lot of anger. it's beend 6 months for me, and though I cry less, I sense a new feeling entering my heart. Anger. I guess i deal with things one at a time. right now, it's anger. Also, it's importnat to know what the feelings you're having are. I sometimes have images in my mind that never happened as far as i know. I've learned to block them and say to mysel "no, i wasn't there, i don't know what was said or done.." i realize this is ME hurting myself. I don't right now have a memory of "us" that i can think of as good, as everything, and i mean everything is marred, and wasted, but then, I think that maybe it's just my anger.
  12. pacopaco
    I feel i'm in a strange place. I get contacted by her every few weeks or so. I broke NC once. her myspace page was filled with low self-esteem, and self loathing things. she was also trying to reach out to me through the page. She hurt me so bad, but after seeing her page, i became offended, and told her to take that stuff off. i don't regret doing it, but I felt in doing so, i kept giving my strength to her, my secrets. I am not a counselor, but everytime she comes over, it's about what's going wrong in her life, which is quite a bit, since she left me. she has no backbone! seeing that she had no backbone made me see something. I never wanted a woman with no strength. I know therer are a lot of men who feel like they want a woman to protect, and pretty much smother. i wasn't never like this. i thought she was strong, i thought she was more than I thought she was. i guess i fooled myself for 7 years. it's ok. now I see, amd i don't wear rose colored glasses. it makes NC easier for me to see that i was all wrong about her.if she had been strong, she would have talked with me about what bothered her, and done what she did. think of the things that make this person unappealing. think of the things you couldn't stand about this person. it helps me. what do i do in the meantime? well, i do have a lot of free time, but seeing that I now live by myself, I sit, i think, i get things out (crying, swearing, etc.) and I fill MY place with my energy. friends have come over, and they say it's like she never lived here. It feels good, especially when the place is clean, and yes I do clean, ha ha !
  13. pacopaco
    Also, as part of NC, one must be prepared to never ever see or speak with that other person again. Just mentioning a possibility not mentioned. sometimes that person is gone for good, or you may decide that you're gone for good.
  14. pacopaco
    hi, I'm going through it now. People have ben telling me about how fortunate i am to still be here in my apartment, to have friends i could talk to. i am so fortunate. i have survived here since februrary. we used to split the rent and bills. I SURVIVED. i dodn't go back to mom's or a friend's home. she did. I saw my ex last week. she cofessed to continuing her affair after she cheated. this didn't hurt as bad, as it only took one time for me. more importantly, she entered a relationship with this man who she works with. That's boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. the very thing she didn't want and was her supposed reason for wanting to leave me. My point is that that is a different relationship out side of mine. that is another life. She's miserable now, because it went sour (as most things do, when you're dishonest) and her reminder is there looking her in the face everyday. there's nothing there for me. that was the life she wanted to choose over the one we had.
  15. pacopaco
    That's a cool ride, man. I've been getting in shape, too. i have shoulders now, but i don't want to get too big. speedbag, people. yes that's an endorsement.
  16. pacopaco
    i've been trying to find posts about getting better. i find a lot about NC, which is good, very good, but i find a lot of "wanting them back." now i don't know if i'm getting into something new in my healing, but i'd like to ask you all what you're doing to heal yourself. whatever it is, be it posting here (post it if you feel it) or doing something for yourself, whatever. take on a new hobby? i'd like to feel inspired. i'm feeling inspired.
  17. pacopaco
    hi alison, I guess i don't have any advice, more of a question. what is that like, working with your ex? my ex had an affair with her boss, and she still works there with him, everyday, sees him everyday. she told me is a mind game player, and is manipulative. it sucks for her, i know, but it isn't my problem. so again, what is it like for you? it sucks, i'm sure.
  18. pacopaco
    I'm realizing it now. My ex-woman was not good to me. I think that we, the dumpees, because we were not the ones to break it off, we're left with these feelings that these people are the best, and that we are losing something so good. that "our women" will be snatched up quick by a better man. I'm finding out for myself, in my case, that my ex is the same messed up girl she was when she was with me, and that I loved her even with her flaws. that's unconditional love. now i think, who cares what man she's with. she showed herself what she is attracted to, and what she attracts. A mind playing, manipulating SOB. She won't do better,that's what she wanted, it's what she got, it's what she's dealing with now. do i want this? no way! I don't want that for myself, and i deserve a better woman.
  19. pacopaco
    let it go. that guy is a jerk. look at what you have. you tell your man everything, you share things. this jerk wants to "hit it and quit it" before he leaves to Australia. of course it's exciting to be wanted, and desired, but look at who wants you, desires you, and is sincere to want and desire you for your whole life. focus on your wedding plans, focus on you and your partner. this guy is manipulative, and is a sleaze. believe me, i saw it happen. it isn't pretty.
  20. pacopaco
    be very careful. that guilt you're feeling is manipulation coming from this guy. of course he has unfinished business, it's to get under yor skirt before he leaves. he can care less that you're in love. don't participate in the game. he'll have you and will be gone, leaving you in the mess you helped make. know where you stand, and have a backbone. what is happeneing to you, is what happened to me, and laet me tell you, it won't be worth it! so you're tempted, that's human, how you act on it, now that is on you.
  21. pacopaco
    be proud of yourself. emotions are emotions, but self control can bring about a differnt, more powerful emotion-pride in yourself!
  22. pacopaco
    hi, don't really know what to say, but I can relate. It's been 6 months for me. she also cheated on me. we were together for 7 years, lived to gether for 1 1/2. sometimes i feel like you. I like to sit on my couch, it's now my couch, and just relax, and let the feelings just flow through me. take a deep breath. sometimes, it's all i can do.
  23. pacopaco
    I can relate here. the last time i saw my ex, she said she needed guidance, which i think is true. the thing is though, I feel that when i see her, and we speak, it is all my secrets and feelingsd that I am emoting. not hers. this becomes life draining. her life is all messed up, she says. I guess it's true, who knows. but the life drain will kill you, bring you down. let's do it together, and not contact these people who have hurt us. when i am over her, and well, maybe i will call, or maybe i won't. for now, i'm done.
  24. pacopaco
    Sometimes a person is so far gone. this happened to me, when i called my ex to come over. I feel good for me that i did. She had things on her myspce page that offended me. the whole thing was filled with low self-esteem comments self-loathing, along with a piece of meat as her only photo. a co-worker (not the guy she slept with) put a comment on her photo asking her if she wasn't tired being a piece of meat. what a jerk! I said to her. "You know, I'll be t he knows about you and your boss. he is who you call friend?" Man, she is so far gone. She is everyone's bi*ch, i told her. maybe not sexually, but every way else. her boss is piling work on to her, and I think is punishing her. She said that they only agreed to "Not be weird" at work, but never really ended anything. they kept seeing each other after she messed up with me, but as far as i'm concerned, I only needed it to happen once. here's my thought. she didn't mess up once, she entered a realtionship with this guy, as messed up as it is. She needs to fix that, and a whole bunch of other stuff before i can even be a friend, if ever i want to do that. right now i don't. she is so far gone, lost, and sad. she's really a cry, and getting back together is not going to happen. when people cheat, they cheat you, and they cheat themselves. they are a sad bunch of people.
  25. pacopaco
    hi riverdog, if you remember, I wanted to break NC earlier this wekk, and you advised not to. I did break NC, and I had a good long talk with my ex-girl. sometimes, i think we need to go with instinct. I'm glad I went with insticnt because no one knows me better than me.
×
×
  • Create New...