pacopaco
-
Posts
527 -
Joined
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Articles
Videos
Blogs
Store
Everything posted by pacopaco
-
hi, i've been following this thread, and I have to agree with everyone else. DO NOT TEXT THAT MAN! the fact that he has his face on a dating site has nothing to do with you. why don't you put one up? It isn't like dating sites are a gold mine of sexy people, either. there are a lot of weirdos and freaks. sure there are some good people, but there are bad people too. if you're worried he will find someone else, I understand, but know you're better than he he (from how you've described him) and anyone he finds will more than likely be less than you. If you decide to text himk, sure it's easy, and you just want to let him know you saw him there, but really, what's the point? once again: DO NOT TEXT THAT MAN! Superdave, get the duct tape, eat the batteries!
-
huh? what does that mean? I'm not pining over the fact she called. It just made me curious as to how people hold on to things, even other people. In my mind, she's become a kind of concept. I know she exists, lives and breathes. To her, it seems to me that I am very much more still, than a concept. I'm not trying to give my ego boost, but I guess that's what is called "holding on." She knows she messed up, and has apologized to me so many times. I won't deny that I don't care for her, and I have forgiven her for a lot, but I also know I can keep going forward. I have been having such a great day today, and I am happy for her that she now has a place to live. Call it love, or call it moving on, but I am glad for her. I just didn't know how to react to getting such information. I liken it to being handed a bag and told "here you go," then I turn around and say "here I go what?"
-
oh yeah, She is taking care of the loan. I have access to the account, and as far as payments go, she's ok. She's paid on time.My name will be removed. I was just puzzled as to why I got a call about her new place in the first place.
-
see here's the thing. If she had left me alone all this time since Februaury, I'd be happier to hear from her. I told her that 80% of my hurt and anger comes not from what she did, but how she handled it afterward. She han't left me alone, and I understand the pain she went through. She hurt herself, too, and she has self-eteem issues, that have nothing to do with me. She still works at the same place, her boss is still there, too. To me, her calling me, is "not leaving me alone." She's holding on to me, I feel. I don't like the feeling. Even if she does love me and misses me, I don't think she's felt the loss of me to know she loves me. I really do feel good for her that she has found her place to live. she needs it, and her space, and I hope she can now face things she neds to face. She has a lot of fear, I know. to me though, I just don't get it.
-
see that's the thing. it isn't all that much of an ego boost fro me. I don't even know that she does miss me, that's why it has me wondering why she'd call to tell me. I mean what's next, "wanna come over?" that would be weird for me right now.
-
no. i didn't ask her why she called. that would mean having to call her. I do feel good for her, and it doesn't bother me that she called, but it does burn me with curiosity. I haven't written or called. I was thinking of ignoring her, actually; not to spite, but just because i don't know what I am supposed to be getting from her calling me to tell me she has a place to live.
-
last night I was sitting with a friend of mine when my phone rang. This being enotalone, you all know it was the ex. we broke up in februaury, on account of her affair with the boss. I let the machine pick up the call. She said she was just calling to let me know she found a place to live. She had been looking since we broke up. Now, this morning, I do feel good for her, but I wonder: what am i supposed to do? I know I could call her and congradulate her. That would be the thing to do, sure. What I really want to know is, why does she want mer to know this? She's been in my life all year long, and hasn't left me alone, until three weeks ago when she initiated NC. so what's the information for?
-
that's the thing. I can't just remove myself from the loan. it is a binding contract. it's for six years, and I want to move on now without having to worry that she can't make a payment or whatever. I am not paying for the car, she is. I just put the initial downpayment on it. a last link to me? why? at this point I feel like "who cares."
-
Hi all, I haven't posted here in a couple of months, and I'm here to vent, and maybe ask a question. A little background: I was cheated on by my live in girlfriend of 7 years in Februaury. She had an affair with her boss. All this year, she has not left me alone. I have asked her to stop, but she's relentless. Now I don't want her back, and I'm doinf very well in my healing. very very well, I think. The problem is this. Last year, we bought a brand new Scion Breadbox, you know the ones. we bought it in December. Two months later in Februaury, she cheated. The car is a bad reminder to me, as I didn't get to ride around in it and fun with her. she probably was riding him around in it and having fun. To me the purchase of the car was a small step into a great future we were going to have together, small, but still significant. All this year, I've been asking her to refinance the car to her name. I am the primamry owner and she is the secondary. She hasn't done it. I asked her why, and she said it makes her sad, that because we bought it together, it really bumms her out. She knows she needs to do it, she says, but it's very sad for her. i told her that the very reason she wants to hold on, is the very same reason I want to let go. I don't want to be associated with her or the car. I feel she is being selfish, holding on to me this way. why do people hold on like this? She let me go in Februaury, why can't she let go now? I was forced to let go, and I did. why can't she do the same? is it a woman thing, a weak person thing, or a selfish thing?
-
Letting go It's all I was built for Letting go Sowing seeds Goodbye to all of these things Goodbye to all of these things I was standing outside in the firelight Of an old and dusty space at night I could never have guessed that what came to be Would come to pass between… You and me Sometimes things can't always be Sometimes things can't always be Letting go It's all I was built for Letting go pacopaco
-
3 months since break up and why does he keep doing this?
pacopaco replied to psu11's topic in Breaking Up Advice
I guess it is more common, that even I thought. I get the same thing once in a while, and we broke up on New Year's Eve 2005. i'll get something dumb, and trite. It's all selfishness on top of being lost, i think. i don't believe she regrets cheating on me, but it's her own guilt she is trying to diminish. that guilt isn't mine, and she can have it. I've been ingoring her, by the way. It's very painful, all of it, even to hear (or read) a simple 'hello.' she and i are not on those terms anymore. -
What is going on in their mind???
pacopaco replied to Lion-Guy's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
I can't help you there. I get the same things. I can say this- don't tear yourself up over it. I would rather not ask "why is she doing this." it's more like "who cares!" -
it does suck. all this wishy-washy madness. it's her madness, and she could just be trying to drag you through her mud. that's how i was feeling everytime my ex wanted to talk or whatever. If you tried your best for the both of you, let it all go. I'm into a month of NC, and I don't think I want to look back. She even IM'ed me yesterday, saying "how are you?" she can go to hell. i answered "Im good, thanks," and logged off. why do people do this? in all honesty, I want to hear from her, if at all, that her life is great and hurting me was exactly what she needed to do. why? because that's what she did, and it what makes sense to me.
-
well, why did you break up? I wrote a letter, and made me more confused to get a response. for me NC has been the way to go.
-
My ex said she wanted me back. this was in May. she was coming over, loving me, telling me that I was the exception to so many people in general, that I was an amazing person in every respect. She told me that meeting someone like me twice is not going to happen. Then she backed out. confused,lost, and messed up. it hurt me again. did she lie? what was up with all the "sweet things" she said to me? she only cheated once (that i know of,) but once for me was enough. I don't trust her as far as i can throw her, and I'd looooove to throw her very far, to another continent,say. she still calls sometimes, leaves messages, but what the hell for? I can't trust her anymore. People have told me "she made a mistake," and "she still loves you," but until I hear something worth talking about, she is the same cheating, lying, selfish girl (not woman) I have come to see in true color.
-
i agree. I'm doing NC for me. it has nothing to do with her. I need the healing. if months or years go by, and she decides to come back is not relevant. each day for me is a battle, and the future is unwritten. I am writing my today. NC is not for getting her back, or to make her miss me. she cheated on me, and as I feel, she got what she wanted. she pushed me out of her life painfully. Why am I going to be contacting someone who didn't want me? it's obsurd to push yourself on someone. I don't know why I ever tried so hard to be loving, and a great man.
-
Ex attempted contact several times in a week
pacopaco replied to fifregister's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
yeah, ignore it! I broke NC yesterday, but I feel quite good. I got an IM from her it said "Hi, paco. How are you?" I replied "I'm good, thanks." and logged off. no big deal. I already knew where it was going to go. "Let's hang, can i come over." she can go to hell, as far as i'm concerned, and everyday I become less and less concerned about what she does, who she loves, who she F**KS, or what is going on with her work, and life in genenral. I was thinking last night, that it is ironic that she's the architect at a huge firm building a high rise in Los Angeles, doing what she wants to do, and hanging with new people, but goes home to slep in a garage with her mom and sister. She had a cool place to live, and a man who loved her to death. These are the things that through NC I can see for myself, and decide that she's no good. when she tries to come around and "talk" about nothing, it's a fog that comes down and clouds my judgement, gives me hope for something I know there is no hope for. Ignore everything! when you feel better, maybe then you can talk to him. -
i think that NC is a personal thing. it's a journey, actually. one of self discovery. when you look back you can say "that person was not for me." i'm doing now, and it's tough. if this ex of mine comes around, it shouldn't matter. if your girl is lonely and depressed, and she responds to your calls, etc. HELLO! of course she is, she needs the support. once she has it, it's back to the same BS. I believe my ex doesn't want to be with me, she would not have dome what she did. if she changes her mind and sees that "life is tough" without me, what does it matter? that's something, like her decision to cheat, that came from inside her self. it has nothing to do with me.
-
Matter of the heart...or head?
pacopaco replied to cherrytree's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
no one has been able to say it the way you just did. it really is what I have been trying to understand, but I know too, that I may never, and letting go is the only way. we'll get through it, to be sure. -
Matter of the heart...or head?
pacopaco replied to cherrytree's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
I have a similar situation. I have maintained a strict NC policy for myself all this month, and going. It's tough, but I NEED to. it's what my head says. I can' relate because the feeling is an awful "What do you want, why do you call" kind of feeling toward the other person. That's mistrust, and that's what's in me for my ex. whenever she came over, it be like listening to a nobody. Nothing new, same person, talking the talk they want to talk, and hearing what they want to hear from you. of course you will, I will too because we love. But I for the sake of self preservation, self-respect (which the other in my "party" lacks,) the heart can sit this one out. you heart is loving still, and that's ok. I am thinking about it now, and what the heart is feeling is the "tug" of letting go. you want to let go, I want to let go too, and for me, I will use my mind, and act on why it's OK, and good to no longer have this woman/girl in my life. -
thank you Gold Hawk. I like that 15 minute method. though I think I'll put it to ten minutes, ha ha ! I'm not planning on contacting her. but it is very difficult to do. I just keep in mind that the things we'll talk about, i know, are meaningless. things i don't care to hear about, whether things are good or bad for her or me. i CAN do this. I was the strong one in the relationship, I was faithful. Mr. Captain, I will hang in there. you do too.
-
I thinking I am FINALLY ready to do NC
pacopaco replied to wishfulthinking's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
hi wishfulthinking. it is tough. i just posted on the matter. it is really hard for me. I think to myself, why am i not angry enough to do this? i guess that's love for a person, but the other person had no love or respect for me. thank goodness for all the advice given from the others, eh? I'll be needing more, i'm sure. -
i have had all this month where i have gone to strict NC. it's tougher than i thought. i can't sleep. when i think of speaking to her, though, i remember that speaking with her is speaking to a person whose mind is in a different places. i know that she's having trouble at work now, among other things. A friend of mine saw her ans said her face appeared more "round." she has gained weight, i know it because i saw her late last month. i think of all these things, and i think of how things used to be, not how they are. they way they are is that she screwed up on me, but it doesn't make things easier. it's a tragedy all the way around, i feel. i have received three phone calls this month, a birthday message, and an email. i've ignored it all. i didn't want to , but i have to for myself, because she is so in the gray, and messed up. that, I think, is worse than NC.
-
don't go hurting yourself, man! i know sometimes there's nothing like a bottle of something for a good cry, but don't do it all the time. relax, let the pain move through you, it's the only way. I was cheated on. we together for 7 years. this happened in February, and i'm still hurting, i'm angry and disappointed. don't hurt yourself. sit, think, feel, let the emotion move in you until it moves out of you.
-
is the feeling of betrayal the same when a person leaves you for a reason other than cheating? is your self-esteem shot, and and your ego bruised too? if the feelings are the same, than what is different from a cheating situation to one where you just didn't get along, etc? I'm just curious. do you still feel like you are "less than...?"