Cardinal

Absolutely never heard of this one! Add me to the list of people who have no clue on this one.

It might be too big of a step for her to really come out of her shell sexually and take the lead right now. It might run completely counter to her intuition and everything she has known...that sort of step is not your surest bet imo. But does that really have to happen? I think a good way to approach the situation would indeed be to focus on variety. You take the lead. Be affectionate but do different things to her. The only thing you really have to let her know is just what you have told us. You don't want to kiss 20-40 minutes, missionary, then roll over and sleep. Tell her what to do, much make it all about pleasing her! I seriously doubt she would be adverse to doing most sensual things if she doesn't have to do a lot of work right away. Do whatever your imagination can dream up. Do things in the shower as most of foreplay some of the time. Or have a bath ready for her. Just give her a massage or make her start foreplay earlier in the day (dirty phone conversations, little notes whatever gets her going). Focus on giving and pleasing her. Just whatever you do, do not do the same thing. I think you are going to have to do the imagining for both of you during foreplay. At least for now. Most women really like surprises. Bring some fruit or other food in there for foreplay. Pre-meditate this. Think up plenty of new ideas beforehand....things that don't require her to do much work initially. And start a few minutes earlier in the evening if you can. I don't think you will easily get around the fact that she needs a lot of foreplay. It may take awhile before she is ready to be hit with a quicky. For that to work I think you would need to make sure she turned her self on well before she sees you! That would be her job! I don't guess she would be willing to do that ahead of time anyhow though. She wants you to do it for her. She just has to be able to meet you half way. Surely she can understand how much of a turn-off just lying there and doing the same thing night after night can be for a person.

I am with a girl right now that does this sort of thing all the time. Unfortunately, much of the time she doesn't want to take it further. Very unfortunate indeed. I think I may need to communicate how it can be frustrating for a man to get super turned on by these little affections, but yet get no release from the tension. Are you sure you FH is crazy horny all the time? b/c I am not seeing the signs!

Damn good info I must say. I agree with all of this. Good description of the differences between brands. Trojans are a bit looser. That is another reason I don't use the magnums. Get a little lube around there and they can start to slide off. Makes me concerned that there might be some potential fluid exchange.

I think the pain is an issue. I would tell him this. He'll definitely understand on that account especially since he is on the large side of things. How about taking a day or two's break every week? How about doing some 'oral only' work? Riddle us this... How often would YOU prefer to have sex if you took all the pain away and anything else negative about the physiological side of things? You have as much say in this as he does. I also would love to have sex 3x per day, but honestly it would be nice to have a breather at least one day a week (I don' t think two days off would be needed hehe). I could be reading it wrong, but I think you might benefit more from days off than from a simple frequency reduction. If you have a day or two off per week (or maybe three from actual vaginal intercourse), that might give your body the time it needs to recover from such an intense workout down there!

When I have problems with this, I like to take get her in a missionary position, come completely together and position things so that I slide up and down in between her lips. Hard, soft or somewhere in between this will likely feel good and adds to the anticipation. No matter how long it takes to get hard when he is hard (and remember to use lots of lube, like astroglide so everything including all of him is slick as can be), it is just a matter of slipping/sliding in on the down stroke. Nothing could feel more natural imo.

I am of similar measurements. Magnums work for me but they don't feel so good (too thick). Durex ultra sensitive is a bit more snugly fit and definitely my favorite overall. You can really feel what you are doing versus having to ask how far in you are =D

These are pretty much my thoughts exactly. I wouldn't want to be with someone who rarely thinks about sex and the intimate/emotional things that directly go with it. Take away sex. Take away the intimacy and emotions and the strong bond that goes with that kind of involvement and I would basically have a friend for a partner. Some people view friendship as the strongest part of a relationship and want a best friend for life only. That wouldn't work for me at all. I put a high value on sex and intimacy.

I am honest with my partners. I do love foreplay and really enjoy doing it for a good half hour or more. But honestly, if I do it that long I almost always have trouble getting and maintaining an erection without a complete and total break. She can't be in the same room with me and sometimes not even in the same house for at least 15-20 minutes and I need to do something entirely different than sex (clean, do homework whatever). Maybe if you really want long foreplay you might consider taking a break. 4 hours is beyond ridiculous imo. There just isn't time. You can have sex several times in four hours!!

This may not help your case one way or the other....but if he is legitimately concerned about pregnancy, I think it is absolutely vital that you two have a discussion about what you would do if the unexpected happened. That is possible with any sexual contact and is a risk you take. Making sure you two have a game plan (adoption, raising child together, single parent, abortion etc) and that you both agree on it ahead of time. I personally won't sleep with a woman unless I know we are on the same page wrt to the issue of pregnancy and that we have at least two good forms of b/c in place. What specific arguments did your b/f give to try and talk you out of using hormonal b/c pills? And doesn't he understand that is fundamentally your decision to make?

A lot of us would like to have more girth. But even if there were a safe way to increase girth (I don't think there is or many men would be looking into it), you better make darn sure the woman you are with would also prefer that you have more girth. If you are planning on having multiple partners I wouldn't worry about your size at all. Every woman is different and will have a different preference (or no preference at all).

I think ilse has a great point. There is an endless variety of things you can do to switch it up. See how experimental she is. There are a lot of fun thing you can do if she is receptive to the idea of anal stimulation and/or is willing to recipricate on you. Sex toys are also fun to work with. And if she really ends up enjoying receiving oral it can takes months of practice to really get good at it. And the ways to vary what you do are endless. I think it is important if sex is slow to develop to stimulate her to orgasm in different ways. Fingering, manual stimulation, toys, butt play...she won't get bored and you will probably be able to have sex far sooner than you think anyhow.

Rather than just frustrate both of you, he simply realized his orgasm wasn't coming in a timely fashion and rightly suggested doing it later. That is about all I'd read into it. Imagine what relationships would be like if men freaked out every time a woman had some trouble finishing. Keep things in perspective.

I am casually dating a lady now who loves it. She specifically likes gangbanging, lesbian, hardcore, anal and any sort of hard screwing. Doesn't like bj videos and goes for mainstream porn so long as it isn't completely and totally cheesy.

How long does it take you to get off alone? Feeling negative emotions toward the situation will make it that much harder for you to finish. Also, try cutting down on your masturbation habits if you do that really frequently. If you can go several days and still last a long time, you might consider that you have lowered libido. You can get your testosterone levels checked. How old are you? Any medical history of depression or anything else that might be linked. Good diet. Plenty of total calories and vitamins? Try finding better positions (doggy variations maybe?). Get close another way like through a hj or bj. Then finish it internally.Do moreor less foreplay. Hope these ideas help.

Normally I would say move in for a kiss...but since you have been friends for 4 years it does make the situationa bit tricky. If she has expressed interest in you sexually....then move in for a kiss....don't wuss out, hehe. If not at all, then another massage is a good idea. Maybe then you might even talk with her a little about some more personal things....based on how the massage goes....then kiss her!

How good are you at picking out nice guys? Maybe approach some guys in perhaps an academic setting. Or career professionals who have already demonstated drive and motivation for success? Maybe someone in the corporate environment or medical field. More straightlaced men will be less likely to abuse alcohol or even consider drug use. There are plenty of men who have no interest in recreational drugs. That should be easy to find. I think maybe you are looking in the wrong crowd. Get to know some of the shy guys. You might be surprised at what you find.

Ask him what sort of a relationship he is interested in? Talk to him about his goals, his current situation, pretty much any question you want to ask him. If he lies or is deceptive, then it really won't matter whether he is in it for the long term or not. That wouldn't be the type of man you want to date anyhow. Expect honesty and give him no less in return.

You know how some women view battle scars on a man as rugged and sexy? I would feel pretty much the same way about any size scar you might come away with from this surgery. It is fun to play the scar game with a new person in your life. Good way to get to know one another and become comfortable with sharing your bodies. It is definitely nothing to be ashamed of and I would certainly applaud any action you take to better your health. It shows you have your priorities in line! It wouldn't matter if you needed to or wanted to have your whole breast removed. You wouldn't be any less attractive in my eyes. Men can see far beyond the physical too. And such a minor detail as having a few breast reduction scars is really nothing to concern yourself about.

I think it is going to be pretty unanimous that we think you should wait for someone special. You already have a serious conviction about it. I had completely different convictions and was very happy with my choice to accept a similar deal that was offered to me by a member of the opposite sex. I felt really shy about being a virgin and my confidence with women was terrible. That changed after my first encounter. I think in your case however you really need to stand up for what you believe in. Your friend has some good intentions, especially if he is trying to help you get over a woman you will never truly be with again....but his approach isn't what you want and you need to let him know that. Honestly, I would go to the party. Have a good time with your friends. Spend some quality time getting to know new women. But hold your ground and tell your friend you wish to wait for sex. There is a lot of fun you can have with a good friends and remain a virgin.

Definitely...why not just have him do oral on you until you have had at least one orgasm everytime. That should take the edge off and release that mental block. He may also need to learn how to delay his own orgasm. He probably blows when he can tell you are getting excited. Either way he is selfish. And this should have been discussed with him long ago!

I have a hard time seeing how tall large boned men (all their body parts are on average visibly larger) wouldn't be on average better endowed than some of the shorter, small boned men in the world. So I also tend to think is the physical attributes of black men like their height compared to really short asian men that make for a difference in size. It is just so hard for me to understand how a short asian man is just as likely to be well endowed as a gargantuanly tall black dude. Hence why race matters.

If you remember one thing about men, remember this. Men spend the first 9 months in a woman's womb, and the rest of their lives trying to get back up there. Good quote I read. Women are beautiful creatures. I have never even come accross an attractive woman who didn't have a good to great natural smell. Sometimes it is literally an intoxicating smell and sometimes it is only a major turn on for me. The exact smell and taste you have naturally is what we most want! Don't try to hide it or cover it up! It is something we crave, and it is a measureable part of what makes cunnilingus so enjoyable for those of us who love it and can never get enough of it. With my ex, I purposefully didn't use food or other flavorings while performing cunnlingus. Even though I enjoyed the experience the few times I did, I sure couldn't bring myself to miss out on the experience of tasting her and only her. As mentioned, for someone who has trouble receiving cunnilingus it is best to do so with an enthusiastic partner. Personally, I would take as much time as needed for my girl to become completely comfortable sharing her body with me. I would give her full body massages and specifically position my head in a way where I can give her oral. Ease her into it basically and make sure she is used to me pleauring her down there in other ways first. I don't think I could really see myself with a woman who wouldn't let me perform oral on her quite frequently. I would even be willing to go to relationship counseling to help eliminate any of the fear based emotions that might be holding her back if we thought it would work. I think showing genuine enthusiasm and eventually talking with her about cunnilingus outside of the bedroom would hopefully do the trick (she would know there is nothing on earth I would rather be doing). There have been too many cases where men make jokes about cunnlingus. It is inconsiderate, disrespectful and can be very degrading toward women. The other possibility is the some men are just ignorant and have no idea how much comments like that could hurt a woman emotionally. It might help men like that if their ego took a little hit from time to time. That is pretty much how it feels, but in reverse imo.

Your problem is not directly about a lack of sex. It is about a lack of communication on his part. I would have a thorough discussion with him about how much communication means to your relationship and make sure you two are on the same page. While you are at it, you might also reiterate what the relationship itself means to you. i.e. how important it is to fulfill your partners needs and what key factors make a long term relationship like yours work (honesty, loyalty, compromise etc). My final note. I have heard women question whether their man finds them attractive one time too many. Unless you have extremely explicit and compelling evidence to the contrary, that thought should never enter your mind.

It is a quite common situation. The best piece of advice I have been given is to have her explore herself alone. Make sure that she can orgasm by herself first. Chances are if she does not know she has had an orgasm, she hasn't had one.