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Cardinal

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  1. Cardinal

    Need Sex

    Cardinal replied to Stevo's topic in Sex and Romance

    This post is more than three years old. So I think he is 18 by now and probably no longer a virgin. Anyone want to take wagers? I am in for 20.
  2. Cardinal
    I can honestly say I do not recall hearing the excuse from a man that, "I am a guy that is what I do" in reference to staring at women in front of his SO. From where I come from it is always disrespectful to oogle at other women in front of women you care about. But in the same breath it is considered acceptable to look at other times. I personally find that to be true regardless of sex or sexual orientation. It also doesn't matter who is more responsive to visual stimuli imo. I personally see nothing wrong at all for a man or a woman to stare at others and be turned on by doing so. It is our actions which define us. If we did more than look, i.e. kiss, have sex with, take a lap dance from etc, I would consider it cheating unless it was okayed ahead of time. I have made many generalizations about relationships and each one of them has come back to bite me in the a.ss. Common experiences you can draw from are great and so are the wide range of analytical tools we have at our disposal, but it sure can be tough to defend a position based on sweeping generalizations. If you want to state something as fact, you are pretty much going to need to show some solid research backing it. Otherwise it falls closer to the realm of opinion than anything. And opinions are very easily challenged I am trying unsuccessfully to avoid generalizations. It is tough to do!
  3. Cardinal
    Your mistake was asking her if you could kiss her. I personally would be put off if a date went well, I went to kiss her good night and she rejected it. I'd see it as pretty obvious disinterest. That is just me though. I respect that there are women who won't let a man kiss them goodnight on a first date. But just know that for most men, you are sending them a very negative signal when you do that.
  4. Cardinal
    This situation comes up fairly often it seems. I know I would have a very difficult time dealing with it also as it is my favorite thing to do too. For better or worse, I would probably have a talk with her about honesty in your relationship. If someone is not comfortable enough with themselves to be open and honest, what often happens is they lie. Not necessarily intentionally, but at least they will give you a lie of omission. Or in this case an answer that makes little to no sense. Looking at the bigger picture that would frustrate me more than anything. If she will lie about this, she will lie about other things that make her insecure and she won't end up opening up to you and communication channels will suffer.
  5. Cardinal
    Amen to that!
  6. Cardinal
    It is not that she is a virgin! It is that she seems to want to have power and control over him in an unhealthy way. She is stringing him along. For all intents and purposes you could remove the fact that she is a virgin and very little would change about the assessment. Her reasons for not wanting sex are suspect and a bit on the ridiculous side of things. She isn't considering his needs. It is like she is entitled to something and he isn't. I don't see equity here at all based on the evidence presented.
  7. Cardinal
    I don't know if waiting is necessarily in the cards even with true love. True love is something that for me has never ceased to exist once I have found it. I can truly say I would die for the ones I love. But relationships are also about compatibility. Just make sure you are truly happy if you decide to wait so incredibly long. Make sure you are not going from an incompatible situation to another incompatible situation. Where do your intimate and sexual needs come into play here. Is she doing what she can to take into account YOUR feelings? Sure seems one sided to me.
  8. Cardinal
    I am not saying your gullable or anything, but I agree with Elektra here. She is playing you and getting what she wants out of the relationship. Her reasons are suspect. You are not dealing with a cheeseless pizza here. You have the full pizza and every topping you would ever want. But you can't even take a bite out of the pizza.
  9. Cardinal
    I took it that you really didn't have much relationship experience. I was wrong. I think women will appreciate you for being sensitive and willing to take things slowly. Many men think in much more sexual terms and can be far too aggressive.
  10. Cardinal
    I am not sure you would have much of a problem making sexual advances. I think what you need to work on is establishing relationships. Some people are good at playing the dating game, whatever that means, then doing again with someone else the next night or next week. I have yet to make that work. I suggest actually dating if you haven't long term yet. Read Jennster's response again. Notice how she keeps focusing on emotions and feelings. Most women do think in those terms. That is what you want to do with the women you date. Show them they can trust you and that you care about them. Though I was/am extremely shy in many cases, once I had a long term girlfriend, making sexual advances was completely worry free for me. Just have her over to your place, watch a movie, start giving her massage or kissing her or whatever, then do as others have said....progress smoothly, but don't stop until she tells you to. That part really is the easy part.
  11. Cardinal
    A straight razor might not work well for my throat either. May get one to give it a try. I don't know if I could rely on myself to safely sharpen it though to where I wouldn't cut myself after the fact.
  12. Cardinal
    I don't think these examples are particularly apt, but in general I do see a trend where for the most part sex drops off after marriage. There are plenty of exceptions, but I have seen more cases where it does drop off. Are there not some pretty decent statistics to back that assertion up? I have come to one tenuous conclusion so far. I feel marriage may be best for people who are very good at appreciating quality sexual encounters over the quantity of sexual encounters. No matter how compatibly strong your sex drives may be initially, in a marriage that lasts a lifetime there will definitely be times when libido drops and life gets in the way. At that point, both partners really need to want to improve things to make it work well and not result in frustration. If I do a prenup, I think that would be my version of a 'fat clause'.
  13. Cardinal
    I shave everything within about a one inch radius. Outside of that l clippers work best for eliminating razor bumps and acne ime. I only trim once or twice a week so that the stubble doesn't hurt but everything is kept short. If you do shave go with not against the grain.
  14. Cardinal
    It is definitely important to be on the same page. I just don't think a man's preference when it comes to sex on a girl's period is any good indication....unless that is a make or break issue for you. I admittedly don't like anything about a woman's period. But you would be very hard pressed to find anything else sexually that I would be particularly squeamish about or would not want to try. I think if a woman shows me enough enthusiasm about any form of sexual gratification that she likes (barring bestiality and some other truly extreme things) I have and would very much get into it. Whatever pleases her and does it for her will turn me on in a big way. That is not something I could help even if I tried. And despite my dislike, I would go down on a girl gladly when she is fully on her period. But it would have to drive her crazy and I would need to know she really gets off from it. All it takes is a little planning, possibly even a barrier between me and the bloodiest areas (dental dam maybe or just complete tongue focus on her clitoral region). So tread carefully when drawing inferences based on a man's likes or dislikes.
  15. Cardinal
    It is a routine you are in. I think it will behoove you to mentally separate the idea of making out from the cuddling that normally happens after sex. Making out implies arousal from both partners leading presumably to sex. Though it does sound romantic, I think it is a tad bit unrealistic to think a man will get very aroused by making out with you then be just fine cuddling. Men have an on and off switch, but the way to control it has little to do with emotions and romance for the most part. Their off switch is their second brain and the way to transition between arousal and cuddling involves flipping that switch. Maybe why making out always leads to sex is because you both know he will have an orgasm and you two will want to cuddle afterwards? My g/f and I watch tons of movies. The minute I lay eyes on her or touch ANY part of her body or even think about her, I am immediately turned on. I never consider what we do as cuddling, but rather as a longer form of foreplay since I am so aroused the whole time. Sure you can nuzzle together on the couch and watch a good movie together and run your hands through his hair etc, but I would not make the mistake of calling that cuddling from his perspective unless he has already achieved an orgasm and is satisfied. I think that distinction is what you are not fully considering, no?
  16. Cardinal
    When it comes to sex while on a period, here is the way I feel....Not many men will like the smell of blood or will be fond of having blood on them or soaking a towel beneath them. So I can see why some men are just disgusted by it. I personally have an aversion to the blood. For the life of me I can't find a way to feel neutral about it like so many women can. I however was also the first one to suggest having sex during my g/f's period. 'I' told her I was okay with it. She had and has no way of knowing that I don't like it. I do it because of my intensely high libido. I wouldn't want to go 6 days a month with no sex. When I get aroused, I tend not to think about the smell or notice it as much and tend not to care about having blood on me. So the sex is good. I can't say I find it great during her period, but it is better than going without. As a compromise what I may suggest in the future is what we are already doing. We avoid sex for practical reasons during the phase where she bleeds the most and is in the worst pain (she says it doesn't help her cramps to have sex). The last 2 days or so we go ahead and have sex. I have seen my g/f thrust her hips toward me with the expectation of receiving oral sex 'after' she has compeltely stopped bleeding. I did not do that for her. Keep in mind that for some women it seems to take a day or three after it is all over for things to smell and taste good down there. just an fyi, since some of you ladies may not have the same olfactory abilities that more sensitive guys have.
  17. Cardinal
    Aschleigh, I am 26 and I will not even date a girl unless she is willing to let me give her oral VERY frequently (no once or twice a week isn't anywhere near enough for me). It is a simple compatibility issue. So I can see where you are coming from.
  18. Cardinal
    It will depend on the man. Anything you might try on me that did not involve the release of orgasm would probably do little more than frustrate me. So I'd say to make sure the end result involves him ejaculating, even if you two just watch each other masturbate to a point of a powerful orgasm. Some other guys may love the teasing. But to me, without release it is just teasing. You have to ask yourself, if you use your tongue around his neck and your hands to rub him in some highly arousing area, then what? Maybe you can be super aroused, then just turn in all off in a few minutes and feel satisfied sans orgasm, but I will say most men cannot do that and would not want to. There needs to be some release imo. Men need that and it doesn't have to involve straight sex. Since he has already manually stimulated you, I don't see what is wrong with you using your hand on him?
  19. Cardinal
    I understand your frustration. Many people simply need the release of orgasm after any significant amount of teasing. I have been in a similar situation. The way I always handle it is by doing something else entirely that doesn't involve my SO. I admit i do react negatively when she leads me to believe we are going to have sex and then decides to string it out an extra 5 hrs or maybe until the next day. You have to deal with the frustration somehow I suppose.
  20. Cardinal
    Male. I'd wait 1-2 months. Sooner would be okay in many circumstances. Longer and I think I could correctly question whether she has a sex drive high enough to make for a compatible relationship. If she can go 3-6 months with no sex from ANYONE, that tells me something about our compatiblitity. So I do see an upper limit.
  21. Cardinal
    Realistically, I think if you aim to build about 1/2 a lb of muscle a week that is a good goal for a natural trainer. 10-15 lbs lean mass per year would be considered great progress. Increase calories slowly and don't go more than 500 calories per day over your maintenance intake. That would have you gaining about a lb a week or so until your metabolism adjusts. If you want it to be lean the obviously easy answer is to use partitioning drugs (legal or illegal steroids) combined with much higher calories but they come with significant risk. Otherwise you will likely see one of two things. Either you gain painstakingly slowly and do get a fair amount of muscle compared to fat, or gain at a faster pace and accept fat gain. Bulk up to maybe 15% bodyfat then cut down to your 11-12%. Repeat until you get to your genetic limit. That is likely the best approach and very effective for many people.
  22. Cardinal
    Just stand by the power rack and have one of the people that know how to squat critique your form and give you pointers as to how to do them. Nothing will beat a combination of squats and your preferred variation of deadlifting for improving your backside look. Your butt and legs will do more than look better. You will have a power you have never felt before and so will your man!
  23. Cardinal
    I really don't see what is wrong using a little assistance from toys if you need it at first. If you can do it fine when you are alone in a reasonable amount of time I don't see that you have a physical problem a doctor could help with. It would be a psychological issue if anything. You could try masturbating less frequently, or if you are having daily sex, maybe aim for an orgasm once every 2-3 days or something like that. i.e. purposefully avoid having the orgasm and just enjoy pleasing her for a few days. Boosting libido/testosterone levels should also lead to quicker/easier orgasms. For that you might want to get your hormone levels tested. There is a fairly direct corrolation between your levels of free testosterone floating around and how long it takes you to orgasm.
  24. Cardinal
    This is something I wouldn't do. Sleeping with my friend's wife. I'd stay miles away from that one.
  25. Cardinal
    That you seem not to be able to come through masturbation stikes me as odd. I think that little bit of info is what most needs exploring. Your premature ejaculation will improve with experience. What is up with the masturbation thing? If you can do that you can go a long way to fixing your problem. More orgasms = you will eventually last longer. Round five lasts longer than round one.
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