Cardinal

Yes I suggest trying viagra. If I were in your position I would probably storngly consider getting a prescription for testosterone as well. There aren't many women who don't like or learn to love oral. Did she give a reason for that. Seriously though, grab some viagra and give that a go. Once you are hard on it at all, you can stay that way so very easily in comparison.

It is usually not the person with the lower sex drive that seeks to improve. I applaud your desire to make your sex lives better and reach an amicable conclusion. For those females whose bodies say 'no more', would different forms of sexual intimacy get around that issue. Or is it mostly a mental thing. (I am thinking more oral sex particulary more cunnilingus on his part rather than actual vaginal intercourse). Or to put it another way, is it the actual sex that you aren't in the mood for or pretty much all forms of sexual intimacy? If I had bad cramps and sex made em worse, I know I'd want to try something different.

That story reminds me of wedding crashers. At the very end of it.

He might freak if he is super inexperienced. I consider it pretty normal. I don't think a woman even has an obligation to mention anything about being on her period. A man should know if he has been seeing her awhile. Only exception might be the first time. If you think he may not want to have sex on your period, I suggest talking to him about it and explaining just what you wrote here. You thought it was over.... I think you should be able to talk about things like that pretty openly with him. It is something you will go through every month!

For the record there are plenty of nice guys that would give anything if a woman was more up front about what she wants. I don't know a single man in the world that would ever feel hurt if a lady he is attracted to wanted just to have sex with him. Or if she wanted to have sex now and make something more of it later. Or if.....you are getting my drift. I am not sure I understand where that notion of hurting him is coming from. I don't see how that could be the reason you aren't having a fling with him. Seriously. I am not saying you are doing the wrong thing waiting to see someone new, but just that your logic makes little sense from the perspective of a male who has spent plenty of years as a single 'nice guy'. That it would be a good idea to take some time off before seeing anyone....I agree with that logic.

I find it quite entertaining that when a man won't give oral the discussion very quickly turns to how selfish he can be (not just this forum, everywhere). But when a woman won't give a bj, people's reactions are always different (and not in the dude's favor I might add). Just an observation, hehe. I think maybe in your case he really doesn't understand how to please you yet and obviously isn't a giver by nature. Right now that you have him going down on you, I would just be as appreciative as you can be. Just let him know how much you enjoy it and how happy it makes you. Worry about him getting better or doing it right a litttle later. He may learn a bit on his own. Just keep his head down there! Giving cunnilingus is my favorite thing to do in the bedroom. It is addictive. I knew I would love doing it before I ever went down there. I could lay there and gently suck and lick my g/f's kitty for a good hour a day and never get bored. I love the heat, wetness and texture of putting it all in my mouth. It has become very natural for me and definitely never something she would have to ask for. You are going to want your man to feel the same way and actually enjoy it/grow to love doing it. It is an acquired talent for many men. I don't agree with trying 69 as a good route initially. He will get distracted too easily and frankly, it is a lot harder to learn to lick the kitty from behind in that position. Fun but tough. Just make sure everything is comfortable for him and that if his jaw gets tired or neck is in the wrong spot, help him out with suggestions on how to add variety and take rest breaks. Good luck.

There is a whole forum devoted to penil enhancement. Google jelquing and other similar methods. I don't know if they are even reliable though. I personally wouldn't expect 1-2 inches from jelquing. You can also injure yourself if you are not careful. The best darn thing in the world I have found to increase libido is lots and lots of testosterone. But that also carries with it risks and probably isn't something you should even look into at this young stage in your life. Viagra and cialis are the best blood flow enhancers we have out on the market today. Same deal though. They have side effects/risks to consider. The one thing I will suggest is to take plenty of time, I suggest several months, and do a lot of research about all this before you take any potentially risky action. Know the risks and rewards of what you choose and realize that the they are yours to bear. Good luck. I can tell you right now though....the toughest thing to do is going to be to increase your length/girth. Increasing libido is easy. Lasting longer is easy....Growing is tough.

I think perhaps you should try being more assertive in your current relationship. Not pushing her is one thing, but you can take that notion way too far imo. If the amount of intimacy and sex you two are having is perfectly acceptable for both of you and you couldn't be happier, then congrats. If not, consider taking more initiative there. That is the real issue at hand. Talk to her more about it. If you have already let us know why on earth you have sex so infrequently? The quickness thing is a turnoff for any girl I have known if it is a perpetual problem. But...it is a problem that is fairly easy to tackle once you are in a situation where you are having regular sex and can simply practice/take the necessary steps to learn to last longer. So yes, I think it will get much better with practice. I don't think you have that much to worry about, but you may need to go through that period initially if/when you get a new partner. I think most people would be sexually frustrated in your situation. My girlfriend never goes down on me but did as a part of foreplay last night for a brief space in time. She had to remind me to breathe. So I can see how the anticipation might give you significant trouble.

He needs to buy his own condoms and have them with him at all times. Sheesh. I had condoms with me at all times from age 17 on. It didn't matter if I was in Antarctica and the nearest woman was 1000 miles away. On the off chance that I might meet up with a hot eskimo girl and she'd want to do it, I had what I needed... Gotta be prepared.

I haven't figured out how to shave close and avoid razor burn and the little acne bumps either. As a man, my solution is to use clippers set as close to your skin as they can be. I use them on my entire body, just making sure not to come in much direct contact with the skin. That tends to reduce the acne. Shaving in the direction of hair growth works well on my face but not down lower (what direction does that crap grow anyway?). You might try the clippers route, or try what Kally said and be dainty about it and do it part by part careful not to scrape against your skin with the razor. Applying salycilic acid afterward helps to reduce the appearance of acne for me.

It seems like the privacy issue is the main issue. Though it might take away the sponteneity of it, I suggest making arrangements ahead of time as much as possible. Unless you have a roommate that never leaves, you should be able to discuss the matter ahead of time so there isn't any embarrassment. It helps if they are as sexually active as you are. That way there is mutual understanding. Honestly, I think it would be great to be able to have sex in other places on campus. I sorely regret not taking the opportunity when I was in college. See if there is a garden you two could safely go to at night, or any romantic spot outside of the bedroom. Consider even getting a motel or staying a friends place when you know they mgiht be gone several days (get their permission first hehe). I'd really look at getting a single in the future if possible. Makes things so much easier. If I had been there and done that, I'd have more suggestions. As a roommate, I have suggested the idea of me sleeping at another place so my old roommate and his girl could have some time alone.

Once we get going, my girl and I like to use our lips to suck a little on each other in unison. It makes a good seal and tends to pull us together. A lot like oral does!

Honestly, the best kissing I have experienced with my g/f has not been during sex/foreplay. It is the goodnight type kissing that we share when we can't get to a place to have sex but have had a great day or time together. That is probably a function of how turned on she is by kissing. I can feel all the emotion she puts into it and we both take our time to do it right.

I'd rather be kissed all over after we are finished. Massaging, light biting licking. Neck and ears for sure. All that is more sensitive after we are done, not before for me. I don't 'need' anything before we start. I usually spend most of my time kissing 'her' and doing things for 'her' during foreplay. 3 inches below the navel is my only answer for teasing/foreplay. That is why blowjobs can be such a great part of foreplay. Don't think of guys wanting to be teased just as much as girls imo. We for the most part are wired differently.

Astroglide is the slickest thing out there. You could probably forget about all the other tips and tricks and just use that. It would slide right in!

I agree with the suggestions so far. I feel so much better now that my g/f and I use both the birth control pill and condoms. Those two methods used together take away so much of the worry! Being tight is not a good thing if it hurts you. But if it helps you to feel better at all, if your man had any experience and is truthful, there is nothing wrong with being very tight and having great muscle control. It is nothing to be ashamed of. It made me think of a comment made by a female pornstar recently. I think it turned me on more than anything else I have read. She was trying to explain how strong her muscles were and once apparently had a guy tell her, "it was like driving nails into a brick wall!" Physically that feeling is a massively exciting thing for a man. And most guys know that is what it is like to have sex with a virgin. Not because she is tight due to no sex, but usually because there are some nerves the first few times that cause her to tense up a bit more than normal. And that feels great! So don't feel bad about that. What I like to do is start giving my girl cunnilingus. I want her to feel the moist wet sensations of my tongue first. I don't go all the way to climax though if I want her to be most receptive. I feel when she is getting wetter and more aroused and I know I can enter her easily. At that point I like to take it slowly. I'll put myself flush against her body and even use what I have to tease her clit a little. In your case I wouldn't even think about penetrating then. Just get used to the exciting feeling of being that close. When he enters, make sure he is completely lubed up (the tip of his penis and a good part of the shaft needs to be well lubed.) and only goes in a tiny bit at first. He should give you plenty of time to get used to the sensation. I personally would expect it to take several attempts before entry (and I would probably give her cunnilingus in between attempts or anything else that gets her ready. Maybe if he approached it like that it would be easier for you two to have sex. As long as he is patient, gentle and takes things slowly and carefully, you two should be able to accomplish what you want. And do me a favor. Give the neighbors something to talk about for awhile when you do it!

Use your other hand on his balls. You can massage his perinium also to very lightly stimulate his prostate. You can use both your hands to move his whole package (shaft and balls) up and down at the same time. I suggest using saliva as at least part of the lubricant.

There are a lot of techniques. I am surprised you haven't gotten much specific feedback. A lot of men like pretty much the same basic stuff when it comes to bj's. My g/f always does the same thing to me re: not giving feedback. If I ask her how to improve or what feels best to her, all she will ever respond is that, "everything is great". Frustrating in that you have to learn on your own with little to no feedback. But I have been there, so I will try to help you out what I can as a guy. Get in a position where you can make eye contact with him a lot of the time and make it a point to look at him while you are doing it. That alone can help him get to a very quick orgasm. One of the best set ups I have ever felt from a lady is for her to gently massage my package with one hand, use the other to stroke and keep your mouth on the shaft. Never use teeth! Use as much wetness and saliva as you can muster. The wetter the better. In addition to the up and down 'jack off' motion with your hand, try a slight twisting motion. He might be willing to help you tell when you have that right. That is one of my favorites. Make sure to focus your hand and tongue on his balls at least part of the time. If you want to add even more eventually, you can play with yourself or use your breasts as a part of the action too. That might turn him on a lot. If your jaw is getting tired, you have to be able to take breaks. Licking breaks are good, and frankly you don't have to have your mouth on there sucking 100% of the time anyhow. Put his balls in your mouth and leave them there a bit. or just look at him and talk dirty for awhile, while you use your hands. You don't always have to move your mouth a whole bunch either. Just go down as far as you can without gagging. You can move your head and neck rather than your mouth and you won't get tired so fast. To avoid using your teeth pull your lips in over your teeth. I do this giving cunnilingus and it works well. Usually when women ask me how to do it and don't want much direct feedback (simple answer) I tell them that almost anything they do will feel very good, but to make sure they never ever use their teeth! If you remember that you'll do fine in most cases.

I just shoot for 4000+ kcals per day, and at least 200 grams protein. For me it is a seefood diet. Doesn't ever really get boring that way. If I need to eat more food, I switch to liquid meals and more calorie dense food sources. I do tend to alternate between sweet and salty meals though.

Happiness. Isn't this generally agreed to be the goal of western and eastern philosophy? For me, the best explanation of happiness I have come accross involves setting and achieving goals. If you know or can find things that make you happy, you can work toward that and enjoy the process. For me, happiness seems to be a focus and a control. I haven't delved much deeper than that, except that I do seem to base my life around attempting to achieve happiness for myself and those around me. It is about goals and achieving them.

The "I made him wait" comment also got to me. You aren't the only one. Relationships imo should not be so one sided. Rather than, "I made him wait"...it should read, "we decided it is best to wait until..." or something like that. Input should come from both parties and definitely good reasons should be given when problems arise and you have to take a firm stance on an issue that you don't agree with your partner about.

Thanks for the explanation PittItaliano! It clarifies one big point. Individual differences play a big role here. And each situation is very different. I understand why you chose to wait longer with your current situation now given the context and trust issues. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. For what it may add to the discussion, I will give a little more detail on why my g/f and I ended up waiting 4 months to have sex (it was her call on that). From my perspective, I tried to initiate more physical intimacy staring at date 3-4 (3-4 weeks in). It was her first time and she let me know how far was too far kindly. It became obvious about 4-6 weeks in that she was just plain afraid of having sex for lack of a better explanation. She was so unsure of herself, she started blatantly lieing to me when I would even try to spend more time with her (no pressure to have sex in particular, if there was any at all it was very mild hints). She was scared almost as bad as she is scared of heights. By then I had come to the conclusion that she was definitely a virgin and we had a nice conversation about it outside of the bedroom. For awhile there I was quite confused thinking the relationship was turning in a very bad direction. I could tell she was blatantly lieing to me and I couldn't figure out why. She was sending all the wrong signals. Once I took the pressure off of her and essentially firmly intiated better communication, she started b/c a month later and by 4 months in we started having sex. I think opening up communication channels early on is crucial and would have made the relationship progress better. I still think we should discuss life issues more often than we do. It can only help.

PittItaliano, Not to be disagreeable or anything but.... I have heard that women like to wait until they are comfortable with sex and don't want to 'throw away' their virginity many times before. In this thread alone I have probably read it ten times or more, especially the part about "you will likely just regret it later if you do it before you are ready". My question... As long as two people make sure what they do is safe (tested for stds, several good methods of b/c in place, and an assurance of no physical harm from both parties involved), what on earth could there possibly be to regret? If you are with someone you do eventually want to have sex with (not some creep that you don't want to be with) and the above scenario is in place, what could you regret about it? And what is the deal with waiting very long time frames? I am just trying to understand. And it is very hard for me as I see sex as a wonderful thing that should play a very big role in a happy healthy relationship. I can definitely see waiting 1-2 months before having sex. But at some point, a guy has to start wondering. For the record I am a very patient man, but I wouldn't want to go 1-2 years without having any sex with another living soul by my own volition. Sex is a wonderful part of life and life is short! I plan to live a very long time, but the future isn't so easy to predict. Why keep a greater degree of happiness for two people at bay? Once the proper precautions are taken, I would go so far as to say you can gain relationship experience faster by moving forward and having sex (same goes with spending more time under the same roof sooner). Personally I would like to make sure I have sex with my life partner for at least 1-2 years before getting married. Same goes with living with her. I sure wouldn't want to have sex about 5 months before getting married and be incredibly shocked at how it might change a year down the line. It doesn't take a year or two to rationallyor emotionally plan out how to have sex with someone you have strong feelings for!

Looks like you two are progressing fine. Nice work! Just make sure what you do is done safely without unnecessary risks. What pace you go is for you two to decide on.

You might want to experiment with different types of sexual sessions. For example, learn to laugh and be able to make jokes sometimes. makes things more comfortable. It can be funny if you are both like that from time to time. Have superpassionate sex sometimes also where you are both dead serious and it is as heated as ever. Wrestle with her sometimes and have more aggressive sex that way. Learn to have relaxing sex too where things are easy for both of you and she purrs the whole time. You just have to be able to communicate with her and tell what mood she is in and react to it appropriately. My girl would feel odd if I just aggressively attacked her in the morning right after she got up. She would prefer a mild session then. But at night, she would be sorely disappointed if I was anything approximating passive. wrt the orgasm, she is going to have to honestly let you know if she has had one or not and how they feel. I still don't read the signs well and can't tell if my girl has an orgasm. Sometimes I don't think she knows herself if she came fully. Hopefully someone else will have a good answer b/c your first scenario matches what I experience everytime almost. I wouldn't be afraid to ask for oral sex especially if you are more than willing to reciprocate. When you talk with her, make sure she is clean and shaven down there before you start with her. Try to do it in the light if she is comfortable so you can see where you are. I find it best based on some recent advice I got to just put my mouth over the area and gently start sucking and smoothly licking from bottom to top making sure not to use my teeth. I want her to feel my warm, moist mouth everywhere. I want it to be pervasive throughout the whole area. I let my tongue roam all around the vulva/lips. Gentle is the key. She can and should direct you as to how she likes it from there. Just remember to start gently. You can always apply more pressure or lick faster later. remember to keep it very wet. allow plently of time. practice and communication will make you better at it.