Cardinal

1) You are right. We can get just as tired. Maybe we notice it but don't complain as much. I still think women get tired sooner ceteris paribus. Maybe I am wrong. 2) I think there is a huge difference. And I think that is one of the biggest reasons why it may be far better for men. The taste reward just isn't the same for women 'on average'. How many posts do you hear about how wonderful a man tastes? Compared to the taste of a woman? I have to stand my ground here. 3) Good point. I am however talking about the pure physical enjoyment of the act. More foreplay is getting beyond the act. I can also add a counterpoint in favor of giving blowjobs. Accessibility. I often wish it were easier to get in position for cunnilingus.

When it comes to oral sex men have it better. Here is why. Take a standard blowjob. 1) Women tire easily if they aren't careful. The work can make their hands, jaw head and neck hurt. I rarely hear men complain of this. 2) The taste she will get will be a little salty early on. Then it will be at best very mildly pleasant at the end. At worst it will be either a bad neutral or flat out nasty. 3) Most men can only achieve one orgasm at a time. Now lets look at cunnilingus for a brief moment. 1) With every lick a man gets a wonderful, sweet sensation that goes from the tip of his tongue straight to his brain with maybe one minor detour. Nothing beats the taste of a woman! At worst if she is clean, the taste is neutral. At best it is complete heaven on earth. Compare this to the taste of a man above! Not fair. 2) A woman can have multiple orgasms sometimes easily. Many people like give oral sex purely for the pleasure it brings their partner. And a man's reward can include many little orgasms or several powerful ones. Once again, compare to above. 3) Many men can give oral sex for a minimum of a half hour no problem. We don't even get tired. I'd say fewer women would give a constant blowjob for that long! More breaks and handwork are needed. 4) It is easier to stimulate the gspot giving oral to a woman than for her to stimulate the mspot in a man. Women are also more open about anal stimulation than men. Another good place to work with! From the threads I have read and the real life experiences I have shared, I can understand why women may not physically want to give oral as much as men do. I am speaking from a purely physical standpoint here. I know there are many men out there who have a pyschological distaste for it. To each their own. But thinking about it mentally, I don't see that either sex has the a psychological advantage or disadvantage. Physically, I think there is a big disparity. Comments. Have any of you noticed this specifically before?

I think I would find it nearly impossible to avoid contact with that area. No tongue and a modicum of fingering? I think I'd go crazy in short order.

I just tell people who use my computer to watch out for all the porn. What they stumble on while snooping is not my problem. Whether they believe it or not is up to them! It is easier if you don't get embarrassed or try to cover it. In that case, usually it is the other people who saw it that act embarrassed then!

You can probably get from 170 to 190 lbs without anabolics fairly easily. It is all about total caloric intake. You have been there before you can get there again. If you had a lot of muscle before, you probably will have some good muscle memory to work with. Just eat to gain weight at a slow to moderate rate. Muscle can only accumulate so fast. If you are going to use anabolics, a great deal of research is necessary and it seems you may not have done that yet. So I wouldn't consider it now. Steroids can be excellent drugs with many benefits but supraphysiological levels of steroids used by bodybuilders do come with some risk. You have to understand those risk and weigh the rewards. Good luck.

I wonder also how things are. I had very similar symptoms. Swollen lymph nodes, sore throat for about 2 weeks, fever 101, slept at least 12-15 hours per day for more than 2 weeks. Terrible cough. Test for mono came back negative. Sinusitus is what my original doc said. Antibiotics seemed to clear that part up, but there was an underlying virus. My newest doctor told me that there are more than 200 little viruses that can last up to a month. They never try to identify one in particular. Treatment is the same regardless. I am not sure how the doc in this case could have ruled out all viruses. The doc problably ruled out bacterial infection and a few viruses. Symptoms sound like a virus to me.

I am sorry you seem to be in such a situation. I think that if you take the doctor's advice and stop dieting, it will help. Dieting alone can cause sleep problems and particulary insomnia (tough to sleep when your body thinks it is starving...to whatever degree that may be true). I wish I could offer more help but I am one with regular sleeping patterns.

How about trying to incorporate more work with fingers? Especially internally. Perhaps stimulating her gspot a little or something similar would allow the excitement to build up a bit differently.

The balls do shrink with hormone replacement therapy. To what extent depends mainly on the guy. With HRT in older men it is more important imo to monitor blood pressure, and do regular tests of prostate health. A good doctor can get you right where you should be...high normal free test. If you want to avoid atrophy, it is possible but I would think most men would find it not to be such a big deal. Sometimes the size loss isn't noticeable. For those who are curious, HCG (gonadotropin) therapy is what keeps them from shrinking.

He might just be self-conscious about the expressions he makes or how he acts when he finishes. This could be from something in his past. Probably no big deal, but talk with him if it bothers you.

What about professional interests? There are many single men out there who are in business, or who work in places you frequent? Many of the places mentioned are places that are casual places where people pursue hobbies or relax or whatever. Try the opposite too. Keep in mind many men spend much of their time working. Try going to where they work. I have never minded seeing an attractive lady come in to visit while I work. A little flirting was always a welcome addition to my day as well. So consider that possibility. Find a guy you like who looks bored working and go have a long conversation with him. This works pretty much anywhere.

Maybe it would help to take a long hard look at what you value most about relationships and the positives that come from them. If might even help us get a better feel for why you are jaded with it all. What are the most important good things that have come from relationships in your past? At this point, you are obviously noting more negatives and particularly more negative emotions associated with relationships. Let us know the flip side. The truth of the matter for some people is that their lives really are better without being in a relationship. But be very careful not to contemplate that too deeply while you have the negative emotions fuming all over the place. You have to be able to take those emotions and set them aside and evaluate what goals you can achieve inside and outside of relationships. Then see which option brings you more happiness. And how best to achieve balance in it all. Another less black and white possibility is to alter the nature of relationships you are in. Perhaps you can mold a relationship that avoids some of the negatives you have experienced in you past?

Getting dates online can be easy, even as a guy. That may be part of the problem and part of the reason for such crazy dating experiences. The profile is like a resume. It needs to be in the right format, correct content, excellent pictures and enough of them to show you are not hiding anything....then as a guy, a fair amount is a numbers game. You have do your research and email quite a few women to get responses. Short quick emails that mention something about their profile and maybe a quick reason why you want to get to know them better. Then as many have stated here just a few quick emails, make sure they know you want to meet, get the phone number and set up the date. If they aren't interested move on. It definitely depends what site you go to also. I suggest trying okcupid and plentyoffish first just to get your feet wet. Plentyoffish actually has a forum I think where there are profile reviewers for free! Then consider getting on link removed. It is huge and they have regular and reverse matching to work with which is cool! Some people have more success with lavalife or even craigslist...It also helps to be near a large market. A big city with suburbs etc means more women to go around online and less distance to travel to meet them.

It you want it to be something everyone knows and want to get a bit of a laugh and a bit of a turn on....maybe go with "Lets get it on".

You play it more conservatively than many men do. I think I can learn a thing or two from you behavior! I have noticed in my own experiences that indicating too much interest too soon, even if genuine is more likely to mess up a relationship than to help it grow. It is almost like it is better not to communicate until the right time, which is a very tough thing for me to do too. Two dates is not necessarily too early. I have learned that I personally don't do well trying to date more than one woman at a time. It is the reason I am not worried about cheating any longer. It is also a way to keep my intentions in check. If I am asked about exclusivity, I can always respond that I simply don' t date more than one woman at a time. And if she presses me further, it is her doing the pressing and I can tell her how I feel. In this case she kind of did the reverse and I think she made the right choice in waiting a few more dates to call it exclusive. While it might have been a bit premature to declare exclusivity at that moment, I don't consider it any big mistake. Not all women will run from commitment. It seems to be one of those situations where, the more independent that man seems and the cooler he plays it, the more the woman is drawn to him. I don't know why it works that way, but it has in every relationship I have been in.

It may sound funny. I have always looked at it as a very cruel irony. I could just look at it as a reason to date older women though! You know, you have to think positively!

I'd work to become more comfortable with your partner first. Some couples like to get used to oral sex and spend time getting comfortable with each others bodies before starting intercourse. That might benefit you. Contrary to what other posters say, it seems like you are there mentally, but you are concerned about it hurting? If you have never been significantly penetrated, would using a dildo help get you used to being filled up? A lot of it could be first time jitters and nerves. I don't know many women whose first time was completely and totally painless. It takes some getting used to.

After male sex hormones peak in their early 20's they decline with age. Levels of free testosterone decline as men get older. And there is a good correlation between free test levels and sex drive. Ability to have sex is largely attached to erectile functionality which also can decrease with age. Poor hormone levels can be a cause of erectile difficulty in and of itself. What I consider sad is that many people take loss of sex drive with age and consider it normal. And because they consider it normal, they simply don't think that there might be something they could do about it. Men with low hormone levels can be offered hormone replacement therapy. In that case, it often brings a man's drive right back to peak levels. So where a man's sex drive falls is fully within his control! If an older man wants to increase his drive, that is usually an easy thing to accomplish. And as idon'tgetit mentioned, a man also can choose to use viagra and cialis so that he has the ability. That newfound ability is also sometimes far greater than what they had when they were younger! This is true both because of good drugs that lead to supraphysiological abilities and due to experience in the bedroom. So in sum, I think the reason there is so much trouble with older men is partly due to decline with age. But it is in larger part due to ignorance or apathy on the part of the older men and their partners. In this day and age there is little reason short of high stress levels that would warrant a man to complain about low sex drive and yet do nothing about it. Great options are available. It is just a matter of education, infromation, and openmindedness. Quietgirl, A lot of it is genetic, but that doesn't change the fact that hormone levels decline with age. A person with a naturally high drive may not experience the same troubles as a person with a low natural drive. Erectile functionality behaves similarly. There is a huge genetic component.

Batya, That is kind of funny. Your last post reads like a list of bad date jokes. The kind you see portrayed on sitcoms frequently. Many of the things you mentioned could be safely lumped under the category of social ineptitude. I think I would call it quits in many of the situations you mentioned, especially in the ones where it was obvious the person had bad underlying personality problems. But those were pretty egregious example by and large. And I am sure the rest of the date wasn't all rosy. So I can certainly see where overall first impressions matter. I have heard other women tell similar stories. It must be tough for guys to just come accross as normal, considerate, educated guys on dates. That has to impact how you feel about future dates. You have to be thinking "oh my, I hope he doesn't drop his pants in the middle of the meal and jump up on the table like the last guy did". I think if that sort of thing happened to me I'd get pretty jaded with online dating fast.

Blemished, Quick question about your quote below. You mention that you have talked to many men but only met 4. Assuming you read their profile ahead of time and everything checks out (no deal breakers and these men are men you are genuinely interested in for a potential romantic relationship and are strongly physically attracted to), why have actually met so few? Did the men do something wrong when talking to you? Did you find out a dealbreaker after the fact and just decided you didn't want to meet? I am just curious! Hehe, I think there are actually more females than males in the world! I have the same basic question...On the pure scamming porn dating websites, I think the ratio of males to females is crazy high. Adultfriendfinder and the like are setup to be like that and are bad examples. But what about on legitimate dating sites like link removed? I'd like to look for some specific male/female figures. I tend to think the ratio wouldn't be so bad! Perhaps the frequency of male to female emails makes it seem like the ratio is insanely out of whack. It seems like to me that very few women are willing to send out emails on their own. Perhaps for fear of rejection? I have definitely received emails but like others mentioned they are somewhat infrequent compared to the many emails each female seems to get per day. It really would make things far easier if women took the initiative. The wouldn't have to search through 100 emails and then come up empty handed. They could contact whoever they want. But then again, I could say the same thing in real life, but that sure won't make it a reality! It just isnt' how society functions these days.

I find that the early stages of dating are always the touchiest. It can be a challenge, but I think it is important to give someone you just met the benefit of the doubt at least initially. It is very easy to get put-off by something someone says or how they act around you. But I try not to let those things get in the way of getting to know the other person. I am amazed at some people who judge very quickly. Either they judge a person by a quip they make, try to judge chemistry immediately, or they profess to be able to judge them after only knowing them for 15-20 minutes on a date. Perhaps some people are omnicient, but I certainly am not and I know from experience it takes quite a long time to get to know a woman. And very few of my friends could say they got to know what I am truly made of in any short order. Before things get serious it is easy to just throw in the towel and make some little comment a deal breaker. Very little is lost. Only the potential for something further is gone. And for whatever reason many people place very little value on that potential. Maybe because there appears to be many choices. Who knows? It woudl be interesting to live in a world for a few years with less access to information and fewer relationship choices. I bet people who did connect would work far harder to make things last. After a quick date, there is no major emotional trama, and people just walk away too easily. I think that is part of the reason so few people find success. They don't put in the commitment from the beginning to make it work for them. They somehow think there are different rules that govern a new relationship. Taking offence to little jokes that mean nothing is just a good example of that.

My comments may be tangential, but I can identify with the above lines in at least one way. For me it is about confidence. Call it feeling like 'the man' if you want, but confidence is the real factor (along with ego for some men). Different levels of experience are expected in any relationship and are often no big issue, but different levels of sexual experience can be a much bigger deal for a man. I can recall my line of thinking when I was a virgin. I had no reason to be confident in my ability to satisfy a woman sexually (especially the first time). It is tough to have that when you have no direct experience and are not even sure your kissing technique is acceptable! That can make a shy person or a person with borderline self esteem tilt too far in the wrong direction. Assuming confidence in that condition often just shows arrogance. And for a virgin it can be a really big deal to have an initial partner with little to no experience. Then you can just both learn together. It is exceedingly difficult to explain how much more confident a man can be after having intercourse the first time. It is a very pervasive sort of confidence that can and does extend to many parts of life. You bet you feel more virile, more like a man! You can also feel more confident interacting with women in literally any life circumstance. I know I did! I can easily talk to women and I don't feel shy sexually at all. I know from experience what I can do for them. For a virgin with any self confidence issue, approaching sex with a non-virgin who has a lot more experience certainly can feel like a loss of control. It can be a very vulnerable and disorienting type feeling. I won't speculate on the OP's man's reasons for wanting to date a virgin, but i believe the above quote holds true for many men. In my life, I have certainly felt that way. And I don't consider that I have or had much of an ego to begin with.

I think there is a very good reason not to take a negative stance against the OP's actions. And that is the simple idea of communication (as he stated a million times over in his post). How hard could it possibly be for her to say a few quick lines: "I am not ready for sex yet. Please don't pressure me. For now, lets stick to making out and nothing more." Or any variation thereof! From what I understand nothing of that sort was ever said or hinted at. She only freaked out, got pissed, or otherwise got angry. All of this could easily be avoided with a few simple words of communication. So personally I can't say anything negative about the OP's actions.

True! Not to be contrary but as guys, we can't so much get our tongue down there. We often don't use both hands. We can't talk like sexy women can. And we don't have boobs to help with getting off either. And I wouldn't make that statement unless you have slept with a pornstar or two. Might have to eat you words haha (and no I haven't done this but would love to). Many guys just know how to use their hands in a one or two basic motions. They develop a habit and that persists.

How is her communication in other areas of the relationship? I have to agree, it is very frustrating when a partner puts up a barrier and simply won't talk about a major relationship issue at all. Usually if you approach a woman completely outside the bedroom where she feels comfortable, she will say something if not open up completely. I would personally stop any form of physical intimacy whatsoever until you get a chance to talk about this in detail. Short of just giving up on the situation, I can't think of anything else to do as she is non-communicative. So I say use non-verbal communication until she will talk to you. You may be pressuring her too much. So back off. Give her some time. Then approach her again outside the bedroom. If she still refuses to talk then its pretty much your call imo.