alteer

Welcome Ohso I can't offer you much as I'm going through a very painful breakup myself. But this is a very supportive online community and I've found a lot of comfort, support and advice from everyone here. I just wanted to let you know that your not alone, plenty of us here know what your going through. Take care (((hugs)))

Ok here's mine. I love this song. It always makes me feel better and sad at the same time weird I know but I love the lyrics. It's Special Ones by George. Isn't it funny how you never really screamed at my face, but your anger so unspoken and unchannelled permeates my essense to the point where I Don't want to see you hear you, be anywhere near you, you probably think I'm threatned by you but your illusionary power doesn't threaten me Actually I think it's kind of funny that you create an illusion that is a mirror, I don't appreciate you and I know that that surprises you I suppose you see that those who follow their hearts always win, those with integrity have won the match before its begun. So rather than being kicked around, I'm going to kick you to the curb So rather than being pushed around, I'm going to push you away first So rather than trying to protect you, I'm going to cover my bases first So rather then trying to open my heart, I'm going to lock it with a key So that only the special ones can ever get through to me Some can see beyond the barrier of threshold whereas others can't see beyond their sculptured mould, you could offer me nothing, you could offer me nothing that I need Do you think I'm asking too much? A kind of respect and trust that shouldn't even be questioned, how can I open my heart with dishonesty sitting next to me? I've honoured your honour to the point of embarrassment, but innocence in the hands of the guilt free is kicked to, is kicked to the curb I was ashamed of my innocence, I was ashamed of my innocence but now with clarity I see that your bull * * * * is just not worth of me I don't want to be angry This is not worthy of me and now with clarity I see that I can walk away, I can walk away.

Ok I think I figured this out. I'm having a really hard time getting over my ex and thought it was because I didn't get any answers. He didn't tell me why it was over. It just was. I thought the problem was not having any closure and to me closure is getting answers as to why it didn't work. But now I don't think it's that so much. I think it's the rejection. I think that's the part that hurts so much. He rejected me. And that feels crappy. (just venting)

Ohhhhh that bought a tear to my eye..........so lovely

Yep this was pretty much my experience when I went down on my first boyfriend. I had no bloody idea what to do. I didn't even think people did this stuff!!! I was thinking.....ok. ewwww what do you mean put it in mouth!!!! I was very naive. When he went down on me first and I was like......totally horrified!!!!!!! But it's all good......I love it now

I think kids pretty much figure out their own way. My son never played or spoke to anyone when he was younger. But now he's 11, is the life of the party, has a ton of friends and doesn't stop talking. I don't think you should worry about it yet, some kids just prefer to sit back and take it all in to start with. Don't push him, just gently encourage him.

Thanks Arielle.....having no closure stinks doesn't it?!?!!! I like your way of thinking. You seem to have come through it very well. Here's to you!! Cheers.

I think your father is trying to teach you something. I know that if my children do something I expect them to apologise and I quite often ignore them until they have.........it certainly doesn't mean I don't love them. I will love my kids no matter what. BUT they do need to learn. They need to learn what is acceptable and what isn't. Parents SHOULDN'T put up with their kids 'crap'. The real world is no bed of roses............

Thank you everyone for your replies. You are all so right. Here's the conclusion I came to while contemplating your responses. I know it's over so why torture myself trying to find answers. There aren't any. He didn't love me ENOUGH, that's it, end of story. I also thought.....ok so what could he possibly say that would make me feel better anyway?!!..........Nothing. So that part of my life is over - next chapter please.

OK I've taken a step forward. I've deleted and blocked him from my contact list.......honestly his messages were driving me crazy and not helping me in the least. So I bit the bullet. I don't want to contact him and I don't want him to contact me.......I really need to get over him. And now I no longer see his name when I sign on = bonus

I feel fat and ugly for a couple of weeks every month (around my period)............so that means for only 6 months of the year I feel good.........that's damn depressing

Those of you who have read my posts will know of the difficult time I'm having. I haven't received any real answers for the breakup and know that I never will. Not having any closure is making this even harder for me......I just can't seem to 'get over it'. I"ve been through all the emotions - denial, sadness, anger, disbelief, hope etc. For those of you who have had to get over a breakup with no answers - how did you do it? How did you get to the point that it didn't matter anymore? And how long did it take to get to that point? I know there is no magic potion.........and I know......time, time, time. But some insight into the experiences of others would be helpful.

Yes it is.......I really try hard not to have any. But it's there. And driving me crazy.

Sobo I have to say that chatting to him hasn't helped me in the least. I've actually gone backwards since, which is the reason I'm thinking of deleting him. I'm not strong enough to ignore him when he messages me because I miss him so much. The problem is that every time he does I get this little glimmer of hope which is gut wrenching.

Hmmm I'm on the same msn roller coaster at the moment. It's not fun. Blocking, unblocking and blocking again. I never message him first but he always messages me. And I can't quite bring myself to ignore him. I'm getting to the stage where I'm thinking of deleting him altogether. But can't bring myself to do it. Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh the pain

Your right I probably do need to talk to her. She does mean well.......but your right it's not helping me. I feel like I'm back to square one and I was doing fine a couple of weeks ago. In some ways I feel worse now than I did in the beginning. I really hate myself for letting it get to me like this.

I much prefer to be the dumper. It doesn't hurt half as much. I've dumped many times........but have only been dumped once and it is horrible.

I know what everyone is saying and your all right. I have a terrible habit of over analyzing EVERYTHING. The thing is when I break up with someone I don't ask people how they are.........if I break it off then I really don't care that much how they are doing.........(hope that doesn't sound to callous) He keeps asking my friend how I am.......what have I been up to......how are my kids.........am I still upset.........stuff like that. Teacup...yes he did break up with me. And your not the only goober. I know better than this......I really do.........I just can't help it. I feel like crap and this feeling is driving me insane.

I have also posted this in the NC bandwagon but thought I'd start a new topic because I really need some help. I'm having a tough time, and can't stand the pain anymore. Ok it's now 5 weeks since the break up (don't know how many days I've been back to NC, just don't want to think about it) It's just getting harder. I was better a couple of weeks ago and now I'm a complete mess again. I think the reason may be that I'm still holding onto some hope and as time goes on, and the more days and weeks pass, I'm getting more and more depressed that he isn't calling me. I can't stand this feeling any more. It is driving me crazy. I stayed at a friends house on the weekend. The guy is my ex's best friend and his wife and I get on extremely well and didn't want to loose contact because my ex and I broke up (she is my only real girl friend and we can talk about anything). Anyway she was telling me that my ex keeps calling her to see how I am. He has never called her directly before, and only ever calls to speak to her husband, but because he knows that me and her are still in contact he has been calling her all the time. It's like he still wants to keep tabs on me without actually having to speak to me himself. I just don't get it. I'm still very confused. What the hell is he up to? He broke up with me........why does he keep asking people how I am?

I hate to burst your bubble. But my second pregnancy didn't show up on a urine test. I only knew from having a blood test.

Oh you are so right! Heal first............prince charming later........where ever the hell he is.........

I used to believe in soulmates.......thought I'd even found one..........NOT!!! Now I'm just bitter...........

As slightlybent said there are many of us around here who can relate to how you are feeling. I am still going through many of the feelings you describe.......but as the days and weeks go by......the pain gets less and less. Hang in there. It will get better, I promise.

Your mother should never have told you it was your fault. Did you go to the police? If I was your mother I would have taken you there myself instead of blaming you. Nobody asks to be raped. You didn't deserve it. And if something isn't done about this guy then he will continue to rape girls.

The fact remains that she isn't, and wishing that she was isn't going to change that. The only thing that will change is your relationship if you continue to be so hung up on it.