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SouthernSon

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Everything posted by SouthernSon

  1. SouthernSon
    Honestly, I would not worry about this. I know precisely what you mean about meeting someone and the chemistry is just so right for both of you. One time, my g/f had a g/f (no, not lesbians, just a friend) and wow, this g/f of hers was amazing in the values she held of what she wanted in life, what her outlook was, etc. That was incredibly attractive to me and also very tempting to me. I get the impression she felt the same way as we talked for several long periods. But I'm just not that type of guy to cheat on the person I'm with so I'll never know. Besides I could not even envision myself doing something like that. Anyway, why don't you ask her how she feels about things. Does she think things are moving too fast on account of having sex so quickly? Be open, truthful and honest.
  2. SouthernSon
    Before I call it a day, yes, what you wrote below is precisely what you need right now, IMO. Just don't go there hoping to meet a new b/f or have any other preoccupations of what could happen. Just enjoy the evening for what it is.
  3. SouthernSon
    Umm, this caught my eye: If someone threatens you with physical harm, there is no reason in the world why you should want to continue being with them and it's even worse that the someone who said that was someone you were in a relationship with. It sounds like you can do much better, friend.
  4. SouthernSon
    Get away from both of them for a while and stand firm on it. Perhaps 1 month should be sufficient...just break off contact for a while. If they want to talk, they can initiate it. I know it can be hard, I've had to do it myself several times in my life. It won't always work out how you want it to, but in the long run it will help you heal any pain this experience has caused you.
  5. SouthernSon
    New hobbies or new women have generally worked for me.
  6. SouthernSon
    Do you even know her name? Does she know your name? If the answer to either question is "no", these chance encounters you are hoping will happen won't materialize into anything. whoops, sorry, I glossed over the last sentence in your post where you mentioned she called you. Ok, so it's obvious you both know each other. Stop making this hard then. Don't rely on these chance encounters...be upfront and forward in your intentions. If you do see her outside smoking, walk in like you were going up to her work just to say "hi" or whatever, and ask her out for lunch sometime. Seriously, you need to have some backbone at some points in your life and this is one of them. If she turns you down, don't get all gloomy and downtrodden because that does look bad. Let it glide off you...say something like "Well that's ok I thought I would at least ask anyway. I'll see you around", or something comparable.
  7. SouthernSon
    That is a long time for a relationship but as people here have mentioned, you will need to move on. Why not continue seeing this woman since you mentioned you like her and get along well with her but just take it slowly. It can work.
  8. SouthernSon
    Sorry, but based only on the first post that started this topic, I fail to see how he was a jerk. Sure, lawn work is a rather lame excuse, but it's probably all he could think of on a spur of the moment request. He could have said "Hell no, I'd rather drill a hole in my tooth than see you" or worse yet, he could be really mean and play with your emotions by asking you out on "dates", making advances, then backing off for a week or two and then repeating the cycle. I simply think he is attempting to maintain the friendship on a strictly platonic level as best he can. And always remember there are two sides to every story.
  9. SouthernSon
    oh I love that one. I have no doubt that she did. And women wonder why men focus on their chests sometimes...they purposely put that stuff out there for us to see...I'm just admiring the view. It sounds like they both are, yet aren't quite sure how to broach that line of being your "friend". Maybe they are trying to think of how to ask you out without ruining what they have already. Go ahead and give it a shot. Hey even if you go out on a couple of dates with both of them and you don't like one of them, you can still be friends. Just don't let anything get too serious early on is all.
  10. SouthernSon
    Based on what you wrote, I would want nothing more to do with this "friend" if she is doing all of this behind your back and you can't believe what she says. Honestly, how would you ever be able to trust her in the future if you somehow did manage to work things out? Why continue to put yourself in such a situation?
  11. SouthernSon
    It's entirely possible he is using you to have a sort of "safety net", someone he can always fall back on for a relationship. That or some people just like having control of others.
  12. SouthernSon
    Sometimes people tease or insult just to get a response from you. It takes a time to develop a thick skin, but sometimes that is the best way to go.
  13. SouthernSon
    Yes, you're over-analyzing I think. The good thing about email that I like as opposed to the phone is I can read email at my leisure and reply when I want and can take time to think about my words. She will be able to do the same, so what is the big deal of when you email her? This is why I rarely talk with friends on the phone because they all like talking too much and I don't, thus I rarely speak with them on the phone. The only people who get my devoted attention on the phone are family or loved ones. So again, stop thinking so much. You'll get every answer you need in time.
  14. SouthernSon
    When I was younger, I had a very intense dream one time about a girl I knew but had never really thought of her in "that way" before. The day after that dream I thought about it over and over for several hours. So the next week I finally asked her out but she turned me down. Dreams can be very powerful in that sense, but don't always trust them for a truth. Make sure you find out in real life.
  15. SouthernSon
    HA! Speak for yourself Glenda. Personally my first time I just could not climax at all. It was unnatural for me but the girl I was with wasn't complaining at all. Anyway back to Pink's topic...peer pressure can be a powerful influence on some people. Fitting in is not a real good reason to want to have sex. I can also attest that the first time for a girl does NOT always hurt. The main factor in the hurting is if the guy is being too impatient or too rough...you know how they get...they get all excited and can't control themselves, etc. heheh....no, it is entirely possible for it to not hurt that first time...trust me.
  16. SouthernSon
    Maybe this not be an good answer but it might be something worth thinking about. You're young, your Dad is not. Your Dad is family and while I understand that you've gotten attached to this woman and her kids, maybe you should consider what would be best for your Dad and what would make him happy. Maybe he needs support too...after all, I take it he is divorced or perhaps your mother died...I don't know as you didn't specify this information. It seems like you still love your Dad. Try and talk to him and find out what's going on inside his head.
  17. SouthernSon
    What are you even talking about. No need to be so harsh.
  18. SouthernSon
    Well there's always two sides to every story. In your entire post you mentioned nothing about how you believe your husband might be feeling. You only mentioned that you resent him and complain about things he does not do. Sorry I will need more information before I can give a proper answer. p.s. - why is everyone lately putting ASAP in their title? I mean please, people will respond when they can.
  19. SouthernSon
    Do not beat yourself up over this. All you're doing is ignoring her. I mean crap, it isn't like you're out slashing her tires or breaking in her windows. And she can't handle being ignored? Good lord... If ever you start doubting yourself if you are being too harsh, just try to think back when you were together and you got your first kiss from her. The next night she could easily have been getting some action from her ex, and a lot more than kissing I'm sure.
  20. SouthernSon
    Definitely agree here. You showed trust in her going to this party and she returned that trust in the manner you described. I could not put up with that but everyone handles these types of situations differently. If your heart continues to hurt, I think you already know the answer.
  21. SouthernSon
    heh, you know I've only been with my fiance for about 4 years now and I've gone through those phases myself. My sex drive is not as strong as hers, but we still seem to manage ok. Let's start with you first...when you were younger, what really got you going? And don't give me that "I don't remember" excuse cause I know everyone remembers times like those. If you can start there and talk with your wife and find out what did it for her too when she was younger, try and relive that, heck even role-play it if you have to. There's no real universal answer to that question as every couple is different, but I think that should get you started in the right direction (hopefully).
  22. SouthernSon
    I've found that in talking with people, especially people you don't know very well, that getting over your fear of public speaking combined with simply observing the little things in a keen manner usually helps best in overcoming what you are describing. Case in point, lots of people have a fear of public speaking, even I did at one point in my life. But I eventually learned how to deal with it, and over the course of my life have gotten to meet a lot of different people. In that time I've learned lots of different ways to carry on a conversation but it all mainly boils down to just being observant of the person and keeping informed of current events. Practice in front of a mirror or with a friend.
  23. SouthernSon
    I agree with sweetgirl here, but I will add that you do not deserve to be someone's "punching bag" or "safety net". I understand that you still have feelings for her, and you will. You can't just turn them off one day. You deserve a lot better than what she is doing to you. I know this is not always easy to hear but perhaps in time you may realize it is best for you in the long run. If she was dishonest with you now, do you believe she will truly change and that you can truly trust her 5 years/10 years/20 years from now?
  24. SouthernSon
    Haven't you already come up with your own solution to this problem then? I'm not going to candy coat this, but maybe you should act like a mature adult and mother and realize what it takes to make a relationship work with someone, and right now that relationship is with your current husband and you made a committment to him.
  25. SouthernSon
    Something sounds weird here. If she is serious about the relationship, she would make time to hear out your reasoning regardless of what answer you give. Now she wants time apart?
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