drydupfob

My ex broke up with me on march 13th.....(my 18th birthday) god everytime i think about it, it just gets me so mad/ sad. Anyways, after we broke up we basically did the same things we used to do as a couple for about 3 month... I mean everything..... we were still intiment almost everyday...... She even asked me to prom wihich was a big surprise..... anyways she would always send me mixed singals.... like be all affectionate one moment and like very distant the other..... so finally i couldnt take it anymore and decided to not talk to her..... that was the beginning of summer..... it was really hard for the first couple of days but i eventually got alot better and was having a really good time, even tho i'd think about her sometimes..... the pain was fading...... So yesterday i saw her at a place where we usaully hang out at.... she was with one of my old friends..... they were kissing and holding hands...... and once she saw me she quickly stoped and try to cover her face with her hair so i wouldnt recongniz her...... I played it call pretending that I didn't see her........ but it just torn me up inside...... like opening up all the old wounds....... it was terrible..... I just felt like taking a baseball bat to my friend..... and beat him until he's black and blue..... dont worry i didn't....... but i dono it just felt so bad for the rest of the nite like... the pain was coming back...... I really dont know y I feel like this..... cause I thought I was over her..... i think the thing that pisses me off the most is that when we were going out I asked her if she liked that guy, because i sensed signs, but she told me no, not at all..... I dono i just feel alot of anger towards her.... like i wish i would not see her ever again..... like right now I would not be a bit sad if she got in a car accident and died........ I know its a stuipd and immature thought but thats how i feel right now.... I keep telling myself she's not worth my pain, suffering.... but i just dont know..... I feel like she has ruined me.... I get the feeling that I never want to give myself to someone again...... The break up was by far the most painful thing i have ever had to go through....... mostly because I was in the darkest moment in my life..... My Grandpa was dying and my parents were just a mess...... I felt so betrayed when she chose to break up with me on my birthday.... sorta like to have me remember it for the rest of my life...... any advise would be helpful....... O btw.... while doing the No contact.... I tried to better myself like going the gym everyday and reading alot of books..... i mean i feel good about what i have acomplished but I just want some advise of how I should deal with seeing her...... because i felt like i was back to square one. thx for all you guy's help. nan

Never again will I let a girl bring me down, Never again will I hurt as much as now, Never again will I shed those empty tears, Never again will I give my soul, my strenght, my life.

When facing adversary there are two things you can do. 1. sob in ur emotions of sadness, emptiness, loneliness..... and cry your heart out. 2. turn it into something positive, use the engergy, strength that you had on him towards things that could better yourself. for example. my ex dumped me couple of month back and like basically i was devasted.... we were still basically going out for a few month after she broke up with me..... like we did everything bf/gf do without the title..... until finally i couldnt take it anymore and told her that its all or nothing...... sadly at the time she picked nothing....... so I had the choice you have right now......... to be miserable all the time or do something about it..... i did something about it..... i stoped answering her calls...... pretended i did not see her when we bump into eachother..... i have to admit that my knees go weak everytime it happened.... but i just had to tough it out and get my self out of the misery........ see its a scab... if u keep waiting, hoping.... talking... seeing that person your wounds will never heal.... but if you just leave it alone and tough it out, time will heal everything..... so back to the bettering urself part..... i just took the time i had to work on myself like reading alot of phylosophy books about the world and human interactions........ become a more well rounded person...... and working out everyday getting into really good shape...... its been about 2 month since i last spoke to her.... for the most part i dont get sad anymore..... i know that im not over her, so im not getting serious when anyone right now... but i know that i will be over it sooner than expected.... good luck to you two..... hope u get over ur ex's soon...... ps. I know its really hard for someone that is still in highschool, but try to think about it rationally instead of emotionally.... best wishes, nan

The only tool you have to fall out of love with someone is TIME. I know you'v heard this again and again.... but time does heal alllllllll wounds..... when my ex brokeup with me and played mind games, i seriously thought about killing myself.... because there was just so much pain and loss.....but once u get pass the first couple of weeks of no contact.... things gets soooo much better...... I have not talked to my ex for 3 month now and i feel very good about where i am at right now..... i even saw her yesterday and it didn't face me as much I thought it would have..... I mean i surround myself with good people that loves me for me...... that helps alot too.... support is always good in the early days of no contact..... my advise to you is to tough it out and when you do get urges to talk or call or whatever, just think force yourself to think logically...... like you know it would not work out in the end.... the relationship will not work..... so y bother?.........I hope you have a easier time dealin with this whole situation...... you are going to encounter set backs but just remember it gets that much better with every passing day. best wishes... nan

hey sorry to hear about ur break up, but in a way it might have been a good thing if you turn it into something positive.... alot like what i have been doing lately..... here are some books that i found to be great. Deepak Choppa - The seven spritual laws of success Sun Tzu - The art of war Niccolo Machiavelli - The prince The book of the five rings... hope that was helpful. best wishes, nan

hey bluegirl sorry to hear about ur prob that you are having...... I may offer you some advise that I never got at that time of my relationship. A healthy relationship is based on trust and understanding.... not based on spending every single second that you have with that particular person. It does not make sense to have him do everything with you altho you two are together, people still need time apart to do their own stuff with their own friends. You said that you get jealous when he hangs out with other people..... can u explain that? do u think he's cheatin on you or something? Its still not too late..... just give him time to do what he wants and not always be on his neck about hanging with this own friends.... Basically thats how me and my ex broke up. I didn't really want her hanging out with her own friends and she felt like i was controlling her life..... so when he's not hanging out wiht you... you should go hang out with ur friends or do the things you like to do. Find what makes you happy and do it..... I mean would u rather have him hang out with him and loose him for a couple of hours or would you rather not let him and loose him forever? if you needa talk more about it just pm me or aim me.... best of luck. nan

Music for the soul sorry to hear about ur lose... I dont think talking to ur ex everyday is helping you with the situation at all.... it obviously hearts you when u see him or talk to him, but at the same time you feel the need to call or see him everday. I'v been there before and trust me i wish i could have just stuck it out and kept no contact with my ex...... Just tell him to not call u and you not call him anymore..... Your heart needs time to heal..... and trust me after a couple of days of not talking to ur ex you'll feel sooo much better...... time heals all wounds, but it can't heal if you keep hanging out with him..... pm me if you need anything gl..... I hope you get through this ...

pretend that there is no ice and just act normal, i dont think there should be stratagies into talking to people. Dont think just do.

ya man time does heal all wounds, I know right now you probably dont wana hear that, you want something that will take away the pain right now..... thats how i felt before.... but now its been a month since the final break up... I feel so much better now than before. I should have never did the friends with benifits thing for 3 month after we broke up.....

hey bro, im really sorry about what happened..... how ever you want to talk to her or get closure or whatever.... i think that would be the worst thing you can do right now..... I think that wat you need to do now is to leave her alone, just not talk to her anymore.... dont answer her calls or her emails.... because you are really in shock right now and you need time to get your head together however long that takes. I know its the hardest thing right now right after a break up to think rationally but thats what you need to be doing. First few days is the worst, but trust me it gets better and slowly but surely you will eventually get your head back together.... trust me if you show her that you dont care, that you want nothing to do with her anymore she'll go crazy...... i mean think about it, what can u accomplish by talking to her right now, cept to bring more pain upon yourself? Do you really want to know how she cheated on you? Just know that it happened and there is nothing you can do about it.... and she's not worth anything more to you now........ Mean while you are not talking to her, keep yourself busy doing whatever you can go out with friends, read books, go work out whatever you do dont talk to her.... I hope everything works out for you...... nan Ps. avoid listening to sad sappy songs..... its no good for you... listen to uplifting songs or wateva.... alot of dashboard confession.....

i feel ya bro...... ya man girls are weird as hell.... one second they say they wana be "best friends" and one second they go ya I can't live without you..... I basically went through the same thing with my ex.... we went out for about a year and a half and she said that she needed space so I thought to myself that was the end..... but noo.... the "best friends" thing turn out to be an unoffical couple thing..... ya man that is just a bad situation.... I think that you needa move on and not talk to her anymore because the longer you stay "friends" the longer it'll take for you to get over her.... because im sure when u see her u only focuse on the good qualities not the bad..... I just think that you like the rest of us is thinking very emotionally right now..... Look at it from a rational perspective and I think you will come to a right conclusion..... If you cant let go than at least talk to her..... like confront her about her feelings.... sorta try to get her to lay her hand out on the table. good luck....

So i'v been doing the no contact thing for about a month now, mabye 3 weeks..... I originally did not think i could do it... But i made it through..... the first couple of days were the worst.... she would call me every day sometimes 2,3,4,5 times aday but held it together and did not pick up... so around a week into it the calls stoped..... that made things alot easier...... I mean i went out with this girl for 1 and half years.... i couldnt even remember myself before her anymore, so i decided to find myself again...... started to hang out with alot of my friends going out at nite, reading alot of books during the day...... kinda to better myself as a person...... i would read like anger managment books because i know im a hot head.... and alot of things have worked or starting to work.... So yesterday she called..... I told myself not to pick up but some how I did...... It turns out that she call to "say HI" so i said Hi, im going golfing with my buddies i'll ttyl..... ( i lied) i dono ever since than she's been on my mind again... i mean its not as bad as before.... but i could almost feel the pain again.... because for a few weeks now i'v been really numb to the pain.... like nothing really effects me...... i just go out and have fun..... What do u guys think? i should keep up the no contact or should i throw my cards on the table and tell her my feelings.... thx for reading

1 - Crush : like when i was 8 or 9 in like the 3rd grade, this girl that lived close to me. 2 - Date : 15? Home coming of freshmen year. 3 - Kiss : 16, this girl that was moving away.... it just happened. 4 - 17 to my ex gf of 1 and half years.... broke up recently, but do not regret loosing it to her....

How long did u two go out for? I mean u talk about Loving her, but do u really know what that is? If all it took was a couple of weeks for her to not "love" you anymore than do you really see the point of the relationship? Always remember a relationship is a two way street, it takes 2 to make it work. I dono hanging out wiht her will be a very good idea especially when you still really care for her. It will just hurt you to see her and not able to have her. need anymore advise pm me.

What have u done to try to help her? Its not good for her to live out of a car. how old is she? is she able to get her own place or mabye move back in with her grandparents? You should think about some of these things..... I bet she is just really insecure about her feelings...... of rejection...... I think the best thing for you to do right now is to have a nice talk with her plain out what she can do and what you can do to help her through this rough time. best of luck nan

Me and my ex broke up in about the same way..... 1 and half years of going out broke up 3 month ago, but didn't act broken up til around a week ago when I called it off..... haven't talked to her since...... I mean each day that goes by where you dont talk to him is a day in the right direction..... I think you should talk to him like find out if there is any way that you guys can get back...... and i guess evaluate the situation for your self.... like is this going to work out in the long run? Different colleges im assuming.... So if he dosn't wana get back or you dont think it'll work out in the end than you have to tell him you need time away from him.... do the no contact thing... and stick with it..... the first week or so is the hardest.... just keep yourself busy going out with friends...... I mean there is no way where u wont feel pain and suffering through this, but ask your self do you want the pain to go away or do u want it to linger on and on..... honestly i dont think you'll get over him until you have no contact with him for a extended period of time. best luck to you nan keep on posting.

I think its all about what you think and feel, i mean if it dont feel right to you than don't do it..... I mean messing around should be fun and exciting but if you dont feel like you are ready or you feel like dirty than y go through with it...... I dont think its nearly at the same level as sex.... mentally at least for me...... ya physically its like almost the same. Its like a huge difference emotionally, its all about wether you feel ready or not. Do some thinking and im sure you'll figure it out....

Dashboard Confessional - all of their songs

hey man sorry to hear about ur break up, im going through the same thing .... it sucks major.... I couldnt help but notice you said that she had childhood trama..... and you are fighting becomes alot of times things wont go her way..... Ya thats how my ex was..... we would be constantly fighting because she had no self esteem when things did not go her way and i would always have to be the one to be there and say its not her fault when sometimes it was..... And that just got old in a hurry........ my advice to you is reassess the relationship...... Was it a two way street? She cared for you as much as you cared for her..... not just verbally but showed it by her actions? or was it basically you pulling her out of a hole? I mean that is exactly what I had to do..... I know exactly how you feel right now..... me and my ex went out for a year and a half...... she broke up with me on the day of my 18th birthday..... ya its gona hurt for a while.... but just know you'll get through this...... Also while you are assessing the situiation ask yourself..... was the relationship going to work out in the long run..... I mean could u see your self spending the rest of your life with her.... when you do this (although is sooo freaking hard) try not to think emotionally but very rationally about the pros and con's of the relationship........ well i hope everythign works out.... keep posting.....

So now its the morning after and some how i can't stop thinking about her and her smile...... none of the bad stuff we gone through really registers in my head, all i ever think about is how great she was and how much i still love her..... Many people said that i'd eventually be bitter, and angry and learn to hate....... Right now I wish that i could hate her...... it would really makes things easier for me..... but some how all i feel is love for her....... I mean right now i still would die for her.......I really need to get through this..... I really dont know wat to do. did i make the right decision?.... i was told not to regret anything... but...

So basically i did it today..... like we put our cards all on the table and i decided that it wasn't going to work out.......She says that she wants to stay friends... but i really don't know at all.... i mean i dono if i can be friends with her after everything....... Like we were supposed to be "friends" for the past 3 month but everything felt the same....... its just crazy..... any suggestions?

so.. just found this site and alot of things here makes a lot of sense... i just needed some advice on what to do. So basically me and this girl had been going out for a year and a half.... and like probably the best time i'v had has been with her..... about 3 month ago she comes over and tells me that she can't really be happy anymore.... the stresses of her life is way too much for her....... (we were just entering the last stages of highschool then) so i was like is this it for us than?..... ( bad question i know) so thats about how it ended..... so for the past three month its been a really big rollercoaster ride...... she says that we are "best friends" but we are still intiment with eachother on a regular bases. At the beginning I just didnt' want to talk to her at all anymore.... casue i wanted to forget...... but than alot of things came up that brought me back to talking to her.... hanging out wiht her.... doing all the stuff we used to do..... but now for the past 2-3 weeks she's been treatin me hella bad........ taking me for granted as you may say.... i mean in the course of our relationship i had never really sad no to her...... and now she's really taking advantage of that.... for example she would call me on friday nite and tell me that she's coming over right than, but she would not show up for like 2-3 hours and offers no explaination.... ya its crazy what i let her get away with....... I mean its just been kind of cold between us right now..... I wonder if I should try to talk to her or just go with the flow or what? I mean I still have very deep feelings for her.... o and by the way we are going to the same college next year...... ya i really dono what to do... please help.