Borashi

I think everything and anything about the "one" is completely bullsh*t and when girls tell you that they are just rationalizing there reasons for leaving you. I believe we are all compatible with many different types of people so I really don't have a specific type in mind, but I do like brunettes, girls that are 5 7 5 10, and I tend to lean towards the athletic girls. Is it possible to fall in love again after losing someone you've loved? I believe so yes. I've been in true love only 3 times in my life with 3 different girls they all shared similarities yet they all were there own person. I've had more relationships but those never really seemed real. It's only been a month so don't expect to fall in love again so soon, take time out to explore your interests and reflect on the great experience you had with her.

I agree there might be a lot of wonderful single people online looking to get into a LT relationship or date. But to me I believe in randomness, meeting a person by chance is a lot more exciting, than seeking someone out so to speak. Life does get busier as you get older, but at the same time if you are out doing a lot of different things than more opportunities should present themselves to meet people.

Hey I've been where you are at. Back in 2003, I was unemployed for a long stretch 8 months. I got into a rut, and I did at times contemplate the meaning of my existence. I've since realized that sometimes you just have to shut your brain off, don't listen to it, and just do something, anything, that'll take your mind off your problems. That could mean cruising in your car, going to the gym, cleaning up and doing little things around the house that need to be done. Life at times can feel like it's trying to beat you down, but everytime you conquer adversity, you become stronger, and harder to defeat. You will get through this patch of depression, stay positive!

I think that you shouldn't bring up your sexual history in the very beginning unless you feel comfortable talking about it. I think in todays society when we are with our male friends, it sounds cool to have a lot of sexual partners, but really according to a recent survey I read in mens health it said that the less sexual partners a guy has had, the more intelligent women will think you are. Which I think is true even if a lot of what you see in the media promotes sexuality.

Man there is no science to flirting, body language you can find tips just about anywhere: link removed has good articles as well as other sites. I agree it's really hard to talk to girls that you don't know, I myself have the same problems, it's not that I don't want to talk, it's just that half the time I don't know what to say. The more friends I get as girls though the more I learn that girls like guys that talk frequently. I really don't know why this is, could be cause then when your hanging out they feel like your just one of there g/f's. Just cause that girl didn't call you back didn't mean it was necessarily rejection, a lot of girls lead busy lives and probably have more than one guy after them, it's really the one who tries the hardest or if she doesn't return your message maybe it's cause everyone always leaves the same tired messages to a girl: "Hey this is _______ call me back" Try to figure out what a girls interests are and then leave a message that will make her remember you. I wish I could give you more advice but I tend to get into long term relationships rather than date a lot of girls at once, I've probably had 7-8 serious relationships. Don't really have a lot of girl "friends" either. I think being assertive is the key, reason why I don't flirt more is because I have my own insecurities that are holding me back in time, those will be resolved and then I'll be able to show off more of my personality, everything takes time to balance out.

Hey I just read an article about miami in details magazine, it said that the real estate market is exploding there and house values have went up 37% in the last 2 years. The nightlife there is of course full of excess, but besides that and the outrageous house prices, I really don't see any other reason not to move. Let's all move to Miami and blow all our money on houses, parties, and yachts.

Yeah, it seems like a lot of professionals in certain careers are unwilling to teach others. A great example is here in Minnesota I heard on a radio show that although the demand for nursing is huge, becoming a lic. nurse is getting to be more difficult, because they are in shortage of instructors willing to teach nursing classes. The reason they figure is why teach class and get paid less, than they can get doing there real job.

My last day of employment with my old company was on Monday, have decided to take a few days off and reflect before I start my new job on the 29th. Any one have any good tips for getting mentally prepared for a new job? Its with a company I worked for in the past and we had a good relationship. I feel that you have to take risks to get where you want to be in your career, do you agree? There are always better job opportunities out there for those who are willing to take a chance, it's just a matter of finding the companies. After traveling extensively in my last job, I have gained a lot more ideas on where to gain employment if this job happens to not work out.

Internet dating to me seems to be for desperate people or predators. I just don't see how you can spark the same connection on the internet than from inside a mall or gym or grocery store or sidewalk when you first see each other and then sense the chemistry. On the internet anyone can makeup anything about themselves and a lot of people would believe it because on the internet its easy to manipulate someone.

I like 50's get rich or die tryin cd, when working out, it's aggressive and it puts me in the mind set of opening up a can of whoop a$$.

Abusive relationships can be very frightening for the one being abused. Once i got involved with a girl who was in a relationship with someone who abused her, but in the end she chose him over me even though he beat her weekly because she really didn't see that as being a problem. Sometimes the ones who are abused need someone professional to talk to who specializes in that type of abuse. Even if you obviously vented to her before in a passive aggressive manner about what you'd like to do to the Abuser, which can temporarily make her feel safe, in the end it'll just cause more harm. Besides you abusing the abuser wouldn't really break the cycle of violence, you'd just become the third wheel involved, and maybe you'd beat the hell out of the abuser, but once that person recovered, they could end up taking there anger back out on the one being abused. Those type of situations can be very explosive. Be careful...

I'd give it about 6 months before you really start to move on. When your in a relationship especially with someone who you see everyday, you build up a connection in the limbic part of your brain, the area that files away memories More information about the limbic connection can be found here: link removed This is why when a lot of marriages fail, rather than resolving them in a practical and sensible manner, couples tend to lash out towards one another, because they are breaking up that connection in the brain that gave them that euphoric high. It's not easy to move on, I just recently broke with my on/off again g/f of 2 years, but this time it was a definite breakup. I still think about her daily, even though its been 2 months. Whenever I have a breakup even months later I still seem to reflect upon my experience with the one I loved or was dating. I don't tend to look at what if's, but I make the best out of what happened, and realize how grateful I was to have learned from a woman who truly cared about me. Love can come and go, but the memories will never fade.

I myself in the last 2 years have been getting more disciplined about what I eat, mainly I've cut out caffeine, processed sugars, and I tend to drink only water and juice like Pom or Naked. An average weekly grocery bill for myself is around $120 or more a week, I feel this is necessary to be at my best. I eat well, so I can live well, yet I'm not making a lot of money a year, so I sacrifice where need be, for example I put my food before a new tv set or anything similar, I guess you could say I'm looking out for my health and I feel I will do whatever takes to get to the level that I desire. Even if that means buying what I need for my body over what I want, making sacrificies like not buying the latest cd, in place of eating well. Do you feel there is anything wrong with this in theory?

When it ended, it felt like a dream How could this be? Every night I wished for your embrace What made me happy? It was the pretty smile upon your face I felt so much for you If only you'd been true Why'd you leave? I would have married you Whatever I could have done You would have been the one Do you expect me to wait around? (For you) Sorry but I've already left town Gone on with my life To the next paradise Until our true love blooms

I definitely feel your pain, back in 2002, I was layed off working in a retail position. I felt completely lost and hopeless, then 2 months later my grandma died. It took 2 tragic events before I realized I needed to get myself together. That I can't really depend on anyone but myself. I made the important decision of getting my high school diploma. I found an online program offered in my state, and I finished all my classes completely online. Maybe your state offers something similar? I know that being able to complete my education online was definitely easier for me, as I didn't have the distractions of high school, and it was a great learning experience, I received my hs diploma 8 months later and have since then, found many rewarding job opportunities.

Opportunities can strike at any time. My current job I'm in, I've been really unhappy with, so a company I used to work for I knew was hiring, I applied there, and just like that I got an interview and a job offer with better pay. Sometimes the timing is just right and sometimes luck plays a part in landing a job. Keep trying its easy to get discouraged during a job search before my last job, I was unemployed for 6-8 months. What made it hard for me is I never kept a routine, thereforeeee I never really gave 110% each and every day towards the job hunt. Somedays I'd go out with friends, other days I'd stay on the grind looking for a job. I think its critical to keep a routine whether it applies towards applying at jobs or looking for new ones in the classifieds, keeping a routine will keep you motivated and hungry.

Nice poem, flowed well, I really could feel the emotion, great job.

Do you feel being introverted is a positive aspect of your personality? I work in a very extroverted job traveling around to 80+ businesses a week, but my personality is more introverted. I tend to focus inward for guidance and happiness. I feel that I can gain more knowledge from observing the environment around me rather than entering into it and participating. I tend to really question other peoples beliefts. Like recently me and my best friend haven't really hung out much because our lives are going in separate paths, while I'm trying to embrace the positive, he on the other hand thinks having a good time always involves drinking. I'm trying to improve that aspect of my life and I don't feel a need to drink socially or otherwise. I figure if he can't have fun without drinking than its not worth my time. I've already been through the partying stage of my teenage years, now I feel its time to move on, get a career, so I can eventually get married, start a family, and make a difference, is there anything wrong with looking at life in this way. Or am I being to selfish with my time.

I'd say Yes in a lot of ways like with trusting people, it's very difficult just because it just seems so many people are only looking out for themselves, its a predatory world, most figure its either you or me, so I can understand how a lot of people think but why does it have to be so back stabbing and political. Like in your career...

I found this rant that I wrote 3 years ago, I can't believe I introspective I was into my own life at the time... feel free to discover the ramblings of an emotional maniac. The darkness that has troubled my soul in the past will no longer trouble my soul anymore. The anger that has risen up in myself has led me a stray from the path of life. No more will I be afraid to express my feelings for anyone. I will trust everyone and accept everyone for whom they are or appear to be. Pyschotic forces constanstly force themselves upon me in an evil matter where at times I feel that I have no control over my mind or body. In began when my parents divorced. I was a young innocent child living in Blaine, Minnesota. I was a popular child who did well in school and excelled in academics and sports. I felt like I was going to live my whole life there. Blaine held my future. Then one day my future was shattered in an instant. It all started with a trip to gasoline alley to meet with cousins. We went to gasoline alley and played videogames, raced go carts, and had a ball. Before I even knew it we were parting ways. I sensed an urgency or sense of sadness in my Aunt Debbie's face. Never did I realize it would change my life forever. When my mom burst out in the car that she was divorcing my dad was in disbelief, I instantly started to cry. It was like a bad dream that I couldn't escape from. I felt trapped within myself searching for answers of how this could be happening to me and why did my mother literally have to rip me away from my dad and my life that I loved as a child in Blaine. This was a life I envisioned with success, glory, honor, and friendship, I was being torn away from my friends, my athletic activities, my artistic expressions. How could my own mother cold and cruel to me? Why couldn't my parents work it out so I could get back to living my life in Minnesota with my friends? I was confused when I got settled in Arkansas never realizing that I would never get my life back that I once had. I didn't have a clue on why my mom left my dad and living in Arkansas wasn't all that exciting. I couldn't understand why my mother never gave me an option on choosing who I could live with? After all I'd lived in Minnesota all my life why would I want to live anywhere else? Was my mother being selfish or just overprotective? Adjusting to the Arkansas life was difficult since I previously lived up north and had no southern accent, but I slowly adjusted and made friends. Do I resent my mom for moving me down to Arkansas? Yes I do because she tore me away from my friends and family she broke my trust, she hurt me so bad, it made me feel like she didn't consider my feelings. I look back constantly at how "perfect" my life could have been if my parents would have never got divorced. I look back at what my life could have been or would have been like. I wish that my mom would have apologized for taking me out of my "protected environment" obviously this tells me that she doesn't accept the fact that the divorce was mutual. I think she still hasn't come to grips with the divorce as it was a bitter one and this might be because her mother/my grandma also got divorced once and remarried? I believe my mothers ignorance and failure to accept the fact that she hurt me when she moved me to Arkansas has led her to live in her own "world" or state of mind if you will that allows her to think that everything she did was "perfect" and "purposeful" and that she caused no pain to any of her family, which is false. My parents divorce has caused me to have trust issues with anyone I meet, which makes me sad, that I can't be more "open minded" when meeting new people. I feel being more open minded would help me meet more friends and quite possibly a g/f. I believe I analyze the "negative" of people b4 even thinking about the positive and what they could possibly offer me from the experiences they've lived. Living with this anger these past years has caused me to become critical of people, where I always see to perceive exactly the opposite of what there sayin and I usually will see how negative they are or if I feel they don't respect me, then I'll hate them. The anger that has consumed my mind, body, and soul the past few years has made me feel like a walking zombie at times where I don't pay attention to really anyone else and I don't enjoy the beauty of life itself. When u look into the abyss if you look into it too long you might become it and I believe that is what has occurred in my situation. I've become a prisoner of my own mind, which is just as bad as being in prison itself because it forces me to overanalyze situations rather than see the positive in every situation or the adversity or benefit I would receive from it.

I know there is no "right" time but it seems like every job I get into, I get taken advantage of either by being underpaid or overworked. I'm not trying to gripe or whine, I'm just saying I think I let a lot of people walk all over me because I don't know how to communicate my needs socially and since people see this or sense it, they tend to exploit it. I'll give you an example: My last job in 2001, lasted 3 years, I worked hard, got little raises about .30 a year, and never really moved up at all in rank or seniority. Then my next job comes along, and I'm making less than average for my industry. I know this because starting employees make about $200 more a week than I do at a bigger company. I've been told I'm a hard worker, I'm always reliable, I don't really see my faults and I'm frustrated thats why I'm currently looking into online colleges, looking at my options of building a real career where I won't be able to get screwed.

I like mystery noir novels. My favorite author is George P Pelecanos. My favorite books by him include: Shame The Devil, The Sweet Forever, King Suckerman, and Right As Rain. I have yet to find another author who has mastered the art of character development so well. The characters in his books not only come alive, they seem real. I like reading these types of books because they help me escape from everyday reality which can be a good thing when your stressed out.

I feel your pain, I also like you have a fear of failure. I dropped out of high school my senior year, as I made a lot of wrong choices and mistakes. I didn't go back until I was 20 because I was afraid to fail, but I went back with high expectations and graduated 6 months later. I think I have a tendency of not just being afraid of failure in social situations but also I tend to let other peoples opinions effect my own judgement of myself. For example I used to always do things just cause my best friend did, we'd party, gamble, do drugs. I really had no logical reason for it, I justified my actions based upon what me and my friends thought was cool. Quite recently I've realized only you can look out for yourself and a lot of people around you might mean well, but it doesn't mean they have your best interests at heart. You need to decide whats best for you and then choose the path which will take you there. I'm 24 and still have many fears about social situations, but taking it one day at a time helps. I'm finally looking at online colleges and considering pursuing a career in a field that I've always been interested in but hadn't pursued because I've listened to how others felt about it, what they said about it, and how they might not have liked me to be in this field. (Criminal Justice) Just remember in the end you have to live with yourself, if your not happy with certain aspects, than change those aspects in any and everyway possible. We only live once and we have to make the best of our situation. Theo

I use the term toxic as I've heard of this term used before in various books and through the media. I was wondering if you've ever had a parent or friend who you feel has had a more negative impact on your life rather than a positive one. I feel this way with both my parents who are divorced, my dad for instance insists on calling me almost daily just to talk. His grip upon me has been really tight ever since my grandma passed away 3 years ago. I caretake her house now and that is the main reason for his control in my life. He also comes over every Sunday to sit and "talk" I think he honestly doesn't know how to get over emotional issues dealing with death as well as various other problems thereforeeee he just turns to me to give his life "meaning" I have 2 brothers one of which used to live here, but he's sinced moved away, so I'm the remaining son. Basically my dad had no father growing up so he's never really understood how to parent, he never taught me life lessons like with sex, relationships, friends, anything. He never really helped me out or gave advice like most fathers do. He basically just lives in his own world however crazy it may seem. I'll tell him what I want to do which is move to Alabama and he gets all annoyed and says or Minnesota, like he's trying to stop me from leaving. He has control issues too, where I'll tell him I'm considering enrolling in this college for criminal justice and he'll go off on a rant about you have to pick up more around the house and mow the lawn, etc. It seems like he doesn't really live in the current moment so to speak, cause he's so busy worrying about "whatever" runs through his mind everyday. My question is how do I slowly push him away so he doesn't affect my life in a negative way. It's taken me 24 years to realize that my parents don't even have my best interests at heart , only I do. That gives me a sense of unworthiness at times when my parents are too messed up emotionally to share in my own dreams.

It's seems like for me personally, keeping things simple is best for me. That means setting realistic goals that are achievable such as going to college, getting a job, etc. Staying focused on being in the moment rather than focusing on the past or future. But then there has been this other part of me who always thinks there is a magic pill for just about everything: working out, thinking I'm going to make a ton of money off the internet through building businesses, really falling for nonsense that isn't there. It's like I can't realize it takes hard work to achieve just about any concievable goal. I really beat myself up over wasting time thinking about such nonsense as I realize life is short and you only have so much time on this earth to make an impact. Do you ever feel confused on the direction you want your life to head in? I think more than anything I'm always scared to take risks in achieving realistic goals like college yet when I want to gamble or bet on the latest trend for an internet business, I always lose. Why can't I just pull myself up and focus on my real issues such as getting a degree in criminal justice, moving to alabama in 4 years, hopefully someday having a family of my own. It just seems like I can't stop disappointing myself and when I make a mistake I still tend to do it again for the thrill of it. How do you keep things so simple when there is so much pressure from the media to be this and to have that and to look like a certain actor, model, rapper, etc. Embracing my true personality and not falling for the fakeness out there is difficult. Random thoughts from my crazy brain, Ted