Borashi
-
Posts
162 -
Joined
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Articles
Videos
Blogs
Store
Everything posted by Borashi
-
This is a funny poem I wrote today with no serious intentions to it. Enjoy. Sweet Memories My soul was shaken You made it awaken Then I cooked bacon We made sweet love by the fire Without any clothes or attire It had a lot of passion and desire You made me your squire Until it all turned to mush So I smoked the purple kush Without anything to lose I drank much booze Until it was time to snooze After my soul awakened I was forsaken Another one lost The fleeting memories of my lonely heart
-
From my perspective if I was approached by a girl whom I found attractive, I'd be very humbled. But in my opinion, where I live girls really don't approach the guys unless they know them from somewhere. thereforeeee the only way to get to know the girls, is if the guys approach first. That might mean rejection, but at least every rejection is a learning experience that I can gain knowledge from whether it is a good experience or a bad one.
-
Hey, I'm 26 years old, and I've never attended college. I'm working for a big company that could take me places, yet I still yearn to go to college someday and puruse my passion: Criminal Justice. I feel like I'm at a crossroads on what to do: A. Enroll in Online College, take a few courses, participate in my employers tuition reimbursement program. B. Leave my job, apply at a state university, take out loans, and go for a bachelors in CJ, hoping that everything will workout financially. C. Stay in my job with a positive state of mind, hoping that an opportunity will come along that might change the direction in which I want to move in life, such as a job promotion in a year or so? My more realistic goal would be to take Path A, although this would be the slower path as I wouldn't be attending college FT. While taking Path B, I could really gain the full experience of college without having to have other focuses or distractions such as a career job. Path C seems like the least realistic as I really want to accomplish something with my life, and even though I'm making money, I just have a sense of unfulfillment in the job that I do. I read somewhere that the best time to make a career change is between the ages 25-40. Well I'm at the age that's making me start to wonder, what exactly I should do.
-
Ever since I was born, I've felt like the underdog. At times it really gets to me. I work extremely hard at work and have super high expectations. I've come to the conclusion that most people are fake or so frightened by there own minds or living conditions that they take there frustrations out on others. It really gets to me when your only given one opportunity to live and most just throw it away. Or are too frightened to do anything about there lives such as improving them. I feel like I'm disrespected for absolutely no reason and the rage inside of me wants to explode. I feel at times that's my only solution if that is what'll make them notice me and respect me for who I am.
-
Do you ever just feel like your completely losing it? I always want to take such big steps towards an action like college, yet I always come up short and end up avoiding my personal goals through drinking or just plain running away from responsibility. I'm 25 years old and I really don't know what to think about any aspect of my life anymore, I know I'm consistently not "happy", my outlook on life sucks, and trying to improve it just causes more self destruction. Socially I don't connect to people as well as I should unless I'm drinking or when I smoked over 5 years ago or when I tried to hide my pain through smoking weed when I was younger. Socially I really don't know how to communicate, I know I have symptoms of social anxiety but getting on pharmaceutical drugs and therapy doesn't always sound like the "right" cure. I tend to also worry about the littest things that shouldn't even matter. I need help and I know I do, I just don't know where to start. Feeling Hopeless
-
I have a friend, someone I met who really peaks my interest. She has a lot of the same ideals as I have and I believe we have much in common. Just recently she came out and told me she'd been in a hurtful relationship and shes really enjoying being alone. I don't mind this either as I haven't known her for a long period of time and I feel like I could benefit from a friendship with her. Have you ever had a friend who has turned into a lover or relationship?
-
I met this girl, she manages a retail store, we talked a total of about 5 times in since May. Everytime she's shown interest in me, last 2 times, we hung out at her workplace cause thats where I go to see her and then went groc. shopping with her one day. How do I show her that I'm serious about dating her and that I want to be with her? I have a feeling she isn't quite sure what I want from her, even though I know that she is physically and mentally attracted to me through things she's said like she'll have to give me a tour of her apartment sometime and other things like that. I want to initiate contact, but it's hard to reach her on her cellphone. I don't want to invade her privacy of work by coming in there and talking to her if even she wants it, I just want to go on a real date with her and have fun.
-
The Concept of NC and why it can be flawed
Borashi replied to Borashi's topic in Relationship Advice
A lot of great points but it just sounds like most who replied haven't felt real "love" the one of a kind love and companionship that is rarely ever found. I myself found it, my ex still contacts me frequently and does show indicators of interest, I won't say how, but I definitely sense things. Either that or most people are unwilling to get back a person they loved you can have a g/f or b/f and not be in love it happens all the time. But to truly find someone who both felt they were destined to be, my ex even telling me in a recent conversation how she misses me, how I'm the only person that can make her genuinely laugh all while she is dating someone. Think of it like this, most relationships are fake either one person doesn't care or if they do they aren't fully in the relationship. This is the first relationship I ever had were I truly felt like this person cared for me and my future. I do think it's funny that a lot of girls say they don't want to get back with there exes yet in the past I did steal an ex away from her b/f, not cause I loved her, but because it was fun, the challenge, the competition. And I looked at it like it was a game. Sparking interest and getting back ex g/f's are possible whether your intentions or good or evil. This time my intentions are good and I know this girl still cares about me. I just think it's kind of disrespectful to only promote one way the main way on this forum of NC, when there is no "system" for breaking up or getting back together. Nor is every relationship the same. -
I'm not denying NC can work, but in ways I think the concept is flawed. In life you have to compete to get what you want whether that be a great job, a nice house, or a loving g/f. There is no perfect relationship and everyone has it's ups and downs. I'm not so sure NC is the best method if you still have strong feelings for someone you cared about. They say some of us are lucky to even feel "Love" once in our lives. Well isn't Love worth fighting for? The concept of just forgetting about someone you loved is flawed, that doesn't mean you shouldn't start dating other people. Cause you need to move on, but at the same time, if you both come to terms and feel like things could work out and your both miserable why not try to compete to get back a g/f or b/f even if they are with someone?
-
Okay so me and my ex broke up back in July, through no fault of our own. Turns out after that she found a new b/f and they are currently going out. Haven't spoke to her since July, Tonite she calls me and we just start talking about everything that's happened to us since we stopped going out. I asked her if she still cared about me and she was silent. She gave hints at maybe wanting another shot with me but at the same time it seems that she is still involved with what she called her really good "friend". I still care deeply about this girl and really I wanted her to be my wife. I never have felt this way about anyone else, and I'm really trapped on what to do. Do I open up the door to the past? Or Do I slam it shut? Is she manipulating me or trying to use me for her own personal gains, even if I don't realize what her intentions currently are? Is her feelings towards me genuine? She said she originally just called to ask me about "something" Then I just started talking and she stayed on and listened. What do I do?
-
Mentally the last two weeks I've been really out of synch. My outlook on life is negative and my feelings are a mess. Everyone who says if your feeling suicidal, get help, go to a psychologist and get meds. While that sounds like a great plan, how would one go about doing that when they have no medical insurance? As much as I'd like to get help, I don't really see a point when it'd just put me in debt. All I know is I'm very aware of my behavior and I'm ready to take that step towards help if I can find a way. What are my options without incurring debt?
-
Sometimes I just don't get it, when I get to my job I bust a$$ and I've viewed as this humble hard worker, who just wants to get things done. But when I get home everything is in shambles, I've noticed myself taking less and less desire or interest in my own responsibilities, I tend to run from my problems, I think I'm really afraid of my own success so rather than revel in it, I try to destroy it through negative mental thoughts, extreme procrastination, really just ignorning aspects of my life that are due respect. Anyone have any thoughts on how to fix this behavior?
-
Dagger Heart All your stories were fiction, you had me with conviction My heart froze when I first saw you, I didn't know what to do We became close, I hoped you'd stay true You became my reality, my life revolved around you It was so unexpected, which made me feel dejected I deserved more than this, at least a goodbye kiss
-
Broken Dreams My soul is depleted My brain is a mess All I can do is stress I try to be calm Wishing my heart was filled with compassion Instead it barks out Waiting for others to doubt I feel defeated So many restless at my feet The rage within me burns deep Scapegoat Why do I always take the blame? Everyone else does just the same Yet I don't complain My ego is not ashamed Accepting what it cannot explain All jobs are just the same The politics never change Why is everyone so fake? Backstabbing at every turn No trust that I can discern Don't matter what you do It always ends in a battle between 2 Who just want what's best Without knowing the real test Will it ever change? Being honest is a con A sorry suckers bet gone wrong Like a game that always ends the same Greed awaits, if your willing to risk your fate
-
I've realized since the beginning of the year, I don't know how to socially express myself which causes me great frustation as then I don't feel accepted in society. I feel very isolated and alone. I don't really know how to read the body language of others thats why its difficult to me to make friends or really bond with anyone. Lately I've felt like whenever I'm in a social situation my anxiety level skyrockets providing me with nervous energy that causes me to work super fast at work, which is great but at the same time I'm not working fast just to work hard, I'm doing it because I have these thoughts like people are watching my performance or that I'm not working fast enough. Lately my thoughts have turned suicidal/homicidal, I get really frustated at my ability not to cope with social situations as if I'm ever to be in Law Enforcement I'm going to need those skills for bonding with co workers or suspects. I've tried reading books on the problem but most of them bore me to death. I really don't know what to do, but I fear if I don't do something soon, I'll just keep in this endless cycle of self destruction.
-
My heart is hollow at the core I really can't explain How I feel so ashamed There is nothing but endless pain From the exploits of your game My heart shattered on the floor Tears rolling down my cheeks As I began to weep Your image as fresh as the day I still can't believe I was played My heart beating against my chest Me wondering what to do next? Overcoming the pain From all those mind games My heart is at war with my brain My instincts never change I sensed it from the start I just didn't know about your cruel heart
-
Well it took me till today to finally come to my senses. Blood is thicker than water. Family will always be #1 over most relationships. So she calls me today and I pickup the phone and she immediately demands why I quit her fathers company. Obviously her father didn't tell her my side of why I quit and he's spinning it to look good in a positive light with his daughter. (They don't live together) I think her dad views this as an opportunity to grow closer to his daughter since he spends all his time involved with the company. What makes me feel really great is how she couldn't care less about me after July, now all of a sudden, she wants to talk. My instinct tells me not to trust her anymore. I really think this is going to come to a resolution in the next day or so. I don't even think I could even pickup the phone to talk to her if I wanted to, I'm pissed that she basically showed me no loyalty. It's like I was blindsided without a clue, but I can view this as a positive experience since it's better I knew this now rather than if we were to get back together. As she'd probably try to force me to work for her father again. I say force because she's very manipulating and decisive, she even admitted that to me, when we were going out last year.
-
Update 9/27/05: I really don't know what to do anymore. She still calls daily, I almost wonder if she feels guilty about hanging up on me last friday. At the same time, I'm confused on the next step to take. I don't answer the phone cause I really don't want it to lead to arguing. My hope is that it would lead to a reconcilliation. I just don't want to let a good thing slip away, when I know right now I could just call her up and see what her reaction would be. It's been since July when we last had an actual conversation on the phone. It's been May since we've seen each other, my feelings are still strong for her.
-
Update 9-24-05: I noticed she had called my house three times in 2 weeks. So I decided to take a gamble and give her a call. As soon as she says hello, I repeat greeting, she hangs up phone. About 10 minutes later, she calls back and tells me to never ever call her again. Today she's called my house 4 times and I won't pickup, cause I don't know her anymore. I don't know if she's going to manipulate me into going back to her dads company, I don't know if she still cares about me, or if she is doing this for money. Fear is stronger than love and I'm sensing that by her reaction yesterday on the phone, was the reaction of anger and frustration of quitting her fathers company. I also feel her calling today is actually her dad calling from her cell phone. She visits him every weekend, so this is a very plausible explanation. I really enjoy the job I am in with my current company and I don't want to take the chance of 1. Getting manipulated, back stabbed, and lied to 2. Having my heart shattered again 3. Not knowning what her true intentions are I don't regret the chance I took yesterday calling her, as it just reaffirmed my beliefs that she only wants to use me to further her material gains from her father.
-
Seems like in my new job, even after 3 weeks I'm tense. I'm meeting production standards of over 100% a week even though since I'm new, they're only looking for around 75%, I'm always on the move to get the job done, yet it never seems like I can do enough. My expectations for everything are always sky high, so at times I can be very serious with what I want to accomplish when it might suit myself better to just relax. I don't even know if I know the meaning of the word.
-
I think the cost of living is high, I mean if you budget your money, you might not live how you want to live and I don't even mean by buying a new car every other year or buying new clothes all the time, I have a nice car and clothes, but as for material items besides that, I really don't have a lot besides books, I put a lot of money into what I eat each week and that takes up a 1/5 of what I make. I remember reading in the paper a year ago that they said you'd have to make at least 17 1/2 an hour or more to only spend 1/3rd of your income on rent, while thats a very reasonable figure, there are a lot of people making less and doing it on there own. It is possible you just have to be disciplined and always plan for the worst, car repairs, future dental or medical expenses, etc.
-
Called 6 times in 3 Hours - Why's He Paranoid?
Borashi replied to lillady898's topic in Relationship Advice
I've seen a lot of relationships end over insecurity, clingyness, just because usually it was the guy that couldn't handle being alone without his g/f, either because in my opinion he doesn't have enough hobbies or other outside activites that he can focus on. You need to make a stand for yourself and not take what you don't think is admirable qualities, either he'll change or you'll leave. I wish you the best of luck. -
I appreciate all the positive comments received and I definitely will checkout that book you mentioned. That same friend, I was hoping to do something with today, but it seems the more I want to expand, the more he wants to contract, what I mean is today after working out at home, I decided that I'd call him up and instead of drinking, I proposed we go out for a run, he's been running around 2 miles a day lately, which is great considering he has a weight problem, I myself thought it'd be cool to just run and bs about whatever. But after asking him twice if he wanted to do that, his reply was that it is gay for 2 guys to run together. So I was just like whatever and let it go. The more I try to focus on the positive the more it seems that I just need to let go of a lot of my current friends who would just try to influence me in negative ways, I guess it might seem selfish, but I'm looking at it as being more self directed, I really know what I want in life with a career and such, so I'm just going to go after it, and not let anyone hold me down.
-
Okay here's my situation, I recently left my old job, to start a new one. The company I did work for included myself dating the Bosses daughter. She actually doesn't live with my boss though, she lives with her mom. To complicate things even further, we broke it off back in the very beginning of June. Now I've been hoping to start my new job with a clean slate, no worries in the back of my mind, but just today as I was talking to my bestfriend on my cell phone, I received a call from her, which I didn't answer. My reasoning behind this is that my boss would be willing to go to the lengths of using his daughter by paying her or whatever, type of manipulative tactic he can use to get me back as I was honest, reliable, and consistent. The company he runs didn't revolve around me, but I was an intregal part of there success the last year. My question is do I pickup if she calls again, when this just happened out of the blue, after I left the company, when we haven't spoken in over 2 months, or do I let it be as I sense that this is a manipulation tactic being put in play through her father my boss as he desperately tries to get me back. It's a family run company so that's why I feel he'd use anyone including his own family members to manipulate me in to thinking that working there will be best for my future when in my opinion this new job is the very best for my future. On the other hand maybe this isn't timing and maybe she really wants to get back together, am I being paranoid? I had deep feelings for her, but I'd just begun recently to let go even though I still think about her daily, I know they say never mix business with pleasure but this is something I feel was out of my control as we fell in love quite fast and I didn't even care about the company, all I cared about is her. What would you do?
-
I can't comprehend how you feel cause I don't know what you went through, but life is hard. Everyone has there ups and downs, and quite possibly you've had more downs than ups, but don't give up. If you don't have a purpose in life, you can always find one, just pick and choose a purpose. I know that sounds crazy, but I used to go along in life at an idle pace, I never was happy, I always hung out with the wrong people, I didn't listen to my heart and what I wanted to do, I always ran away from my problems just like my parents but then one day I came to a realization that I have to take care myself, that the world is cold and harsh at times, but that makes it ever the more real, and the more adversity I face the stronger I become. Don't be afraid to blaze your own path in life, if you have no one to talk to at least write your feelings down or come here, it always feels better after you release whatever negative emotion your feeling.