SLBG

Hi GBGAL34 Sorry to hear about your situation. I no how you feel, I really do. I was with me fiancee for 5 years and she recently walked out (6 weeks ago 2day) Well all you can do is give him space, let him have the time he needs to decide what he wants. A few posts I have read say that when a women decides the relationship is over they usally dont change there mind. They will have thought it through and made up their minds. When a man decides its over there is a better chance of him changing his mind ??? Dont no if thats true or not. Its not going to be easy but if you stay strong you will get through this. If he comes back the relationship will be alot stronger. Im still devastated about things, but only in time will things get better. Good luck. slbg

Well I am feeling really desparate people. I really want to see her, I have missed her so much and hope she has missed me. Do you think I should txt her over the weekend and ask If she wants to meet up for a coffee or something? Should I wait till Monday, talk via email and see if she wants to meet up one evening for a drink? Im missing her like crazy and she did the dumping, do you think she will also feel nervous/excited as we spoke via email today? I no they are strange qustions, my heart is racing, I feel so strange. I just want to see her, tell her I love her and hold her in my arms. Im not gonna do anything crazy, like drive down to the pubs shes in or send her 100 txts. Just looking for some advice. I read on this site that you should do what ever makes you happy, speaking to her makes me happy but I no I cannot handle just being friends.

Well I didnt reply to her email. I just got another email from her, she finishes work now so I wont hear from her till moday. She wrote the following: Im off now so i will email you on Monday for a proper chat! Hope you have a good weekend! Im off to get drunk 2nite. (her name) x Well reading this email really upset me, I no its kinda strange. She wasnt nasty, at least she sent me a email. I just carnt help but think that I have lost her forever. I no its stupid as I lost her 6 weeks ago when she walked out but I always kept hope. NOw Im back 2 square 1 again, Im feeling so low and wish I hadnt spoke to her. If she missed me and wanted to chat y wont she contact me over the weekend. Its been 3 weeks of NO CONTACT, she didnt even send me a txt or n e thing. Then I send her a blank email and she replies. I dont think she cares about me n e more, its just so hard to see y somebody would hurt you so bad. Im not a bad person, I have my faults. I never stopped loving her, just couldnt see how much she meant to me until it was too late. Why do I put myself up for being hurt, why do I want her so much. Im so confused, just wish she would tell me she still loved me.

Hi Well I have been doing the NO CONTACT now for 3 weeks. I was sorting out some emails 2day and accidently sent a blank email to my ex. (Dont ask how, you couldnt of done it if you tried) lol Well she receives this blank email and replies. Nothing special. Just a quick hi how are you email. So I didnt reply, she asked a few questions in the email about how my family was, if business had picked up etc. Im not sure, but I think she must be curious about what I have been doing ? Should I reply telling her how I am getting on or just leave it at that. Maybe even a lil email sayin hi im ok u ??? Could do with some advice

Read myJoy post. I have been spreading the word through out the forum. Once you have read it, things will all seem so much clearer

So you started the NO CONTACT and he contacted you a week ago. That's encouraging. How long have you been split up? Did he split up with you? Do you want him back? If you want him back then take things easy, we all make mistakes. If you want some top advice check out this post: link removed Once you have read this post you may see things in a different way. Good luck

Well said S4il I agree, drop her futon off at her place, leave a note and then forget about it. Alternatively, send her a bill for $500. If she thinks you are a storage company then treat her like a customer. That will slow her down a peg or two. LOL

Hi everyone, just read one of the best posts on the site. Please read it as it will give you a great outlook link removed After reading it see how you feel, Im not so worried about the summer now.

Hi Timmer, Don't pay up, if she lived with you and you shared 5 years of you life together money shouldn't be the issue. If she wants her futon back then let her have it. Its not your problem that she does not have room for it. When you live with somebody you learn to share, if it's a girlfriend then I would expect that you both contributed financially towards things. For her to ask for money back is a bit funny. She left you, she made her choice now she should live by them. I understand that you want her back but if you pay up she may never speak 2 you again and would of only used you to get some money out of you. Maybe I have it all wrong, correct me if that is the case. I don't want to sound harsh but you cannot pay up. As for you friend, was they really a friend. Friends don't do things like that. You have to ask your self what sort of a friend does what they did. Was the friendship really worth anything. I wouldn't resort to violence, be the better man. Rise above it, make sure they no they are no friend of your and let them go and mess with somebody else's life.

Hi hkm2001 Try to get things into prospective, you have been split up for 2 weeks right. You have only had contact once and she is saying: "no matter how much i want to pick up the phone and call you, i cant. not that i don't care anymore or i don't want to. its because i just dont know if it's right " Its only my opinion but I would give her some space. She is probably still very upset and angry, people say things they do not mean in the heat of the moment. If you can give her time to cool off and think she will no if its right to call you. Don't rush things, remember every body needs a little time away, only in time will she make up her mind and make her decisions. If you try to make her mind up for her or change her decisions she will resent you. Some times a break is all people need to see what they had, im not saying it always works but it can be healthy to take time out. Look on the bright side, if its only a small break when she returns the relationship will be a lot stronger. Hope this has helped. If you need to talk or just vent I am around 2 listen. Good luck slbg

Hi P-Frenchie, Sorry to hear about your girlfriend, its hard when somebody you love suffers from depression. My ex fiancée also suffered from depression, her doctor prescribed her anti depressants but due to the side affects she never took them. I tried to stand by her, I felt like I was her rock. She lost her sex drive and became very low. I tried to talk to her but I was too close. She always said she loved me but couldn't tell me why/what was wrong with her. I have some idea why she was depressed but never told her, she would often let things slip during conversations but I never pressured her to tell me anything. Well as her depression got worse I tried to get her to see a councillor, she agreed and went to her doctor who gave her a number of a local clinic. The saddest thing is, if your partner does not want to be help there is little you can do. If they are not ready to deal with there problems you cannot force them to. When they are ready they will seek the help they need. Part of the reason we broke up was due to her depression, she would tell me regularly that she didn't care about anything and that she hated life. Its so hurtful being in a relationship with somebody who feels that way. I felt so powerless, if I could I would take away her pain and deal with her problems. She is so hurt from her past and very confused. Now that she has left I no she will be alone, she can surround her self with friend but the problems will always be there. You cannot run forever, One day things will catch up with you. I'm currently watching her throw her life away, I'm powerless and cannot intervene. All the advise I can give you is stick by her, I no how you feel. She needs you in her life and you can help her through. Never give up on her, you will always be her rock. Check out this post link removed It will help put things into prospective. Good luck, and remember she needs you to be strong for her. If she is to recover she will need you by her side and your relationship will be stronger.

Hey BNelley35, Sound like you have got a second chance. If you want her back then except the friendship. In a couple of weeks things may have changed and you will be ready to start building the relationship. Remember, if its worth fighting for, fight as hard as you can. Stop playing games and get serious. If you love her and want to be part of her life then you are gonna have to work hard. It wont be easy being friends with somebody you still have feelings for but if you turn your back on her she may give up hope and you will regret it. Life is too short, enjoy the time you have and enjoy the people in your life. If it doesnt work out at least you tried. Good luck, stay positive and you will succeed. Just send her a lil txt saying hi, nothing about the relationship, no begging. When she see what a great guy you are she will want more than just friends for sure.

Hi kuhl282000 Thanks for your post. I no what ur saying. Its only been 5 and a half weeks since we split up. Its no time at all, why would she miss me so fast. Just felt a lil low earlier. Just got back from my kick boxing class and feel a lot better. It is tough, I feel so desperate at times, just wanna hold her in my arms and feel loved again. I am prepared to give her time, if she wants to move on I will not stand in her way. All I can do is heal, if she never comes back then I will have moved on. She isn't here now, she wont be here 2morrow, she may never return. I will deal with that if and when it happens. Thanks a lot for your advice. How long should I expect to wait for her to contact, I no 5 weeks is only a small amount of time. What sort of time frame does it usally take ??? I understand there are no real answers, just looking for a guide. Thanks slbg

From what u said in your post you are only young. If this is the case, go out and enjoy yourself. Dont try settling down, trust me. I met a girl when she was young, thought she loved me and spent 5 years with her. Now that she has grown up she no longer needs me in her life, when I had something to offer her she stuck around. But as you get older you change, you see life in a different way, and one day find the person you want to spend the rest of your life 2gether. Until that day stay young. Enjoy ur life and take girl B to the prom

Hi Delaurence23 I just wanted to say thank you for you post. Its so easy to get rapped up in our own pain and to ignore others. Life is too short, love will last forever. It was very touching what you said, and very true. I wish I could of read your post weeks ago, My fiancée recently left me, I didn't show her enough love. If I had of read ur post I would of opened my eyes and realized I loved her more that words could describe and changed my ways. Well if I ever get a chance to touch her life I will read her ur post. It may open her heart. Thank you.

Hi kungfumaster, You are not alone, I am also not looking forward to summer. Everyone is out enjoying themselves with their partners and we are left behind. Its gonna be tough this summer, I also had plans with my ex that will not happen now. While she is out in the sun I will b depressed and sad. I no she will be out having fun, she has loads of friends and a really laid back family who will be doing BBQs and ever thing this summer. During this time I will be working on setting up my business, training and healing. I'm gonna try to put it out of my mind, ignore it and try to move on. Its only summer. Imagine what they will be doing in the Winter, not a lot. We will heal, build up our strength and move on, our exs will smoke screen their feelings and lay in the sun.

Well said dikaia880, I totally agree. Didnt want to write a post saying your only young and have all your life ahead of you in case others took it the wrong way. Just follow your heart. If he loves you who knows, you might end up getting married, settling down and start a family. But until then, enjoy being young. You will never get those young years back

Hi kane91z Sorry to hear about all of the problems you have had. Its really sad to read your post. I can sort of relate to your situation, not the illness though. Well I also met my girlfriend when she was 15 coming up 16. We were 2gether for 5 years. Im now 23 and shes 20. Things were tough at first, she was only young needed a lot of time and support. Now that she has gone I do feel let down. When she was young I gave her everthing, I had more to offer her that she could offer me. Since she has gone, she has been out every night, getting drunk and enjoying her self. I would like to believe that she is just blowing off steam but she may of made her mind up. Well keep me up 2 date with ur story Good luck slbg

If you want to win him back you will have to play it cool. When you meet dont talk about the relationship, try to avoid getting emotional. The best thing you can do is try to keep it friendly, show him that you are strong and make him want you. If you a weak he will sense it and will run a mile. You have a chance to show him who you really are, most of us on this site would love to get a chance to show our exs we have changed. After a couple of meetings, then you can sit down and tell him how you feel. Start of slow, tell him about ur future plans and see if there are any compromises you can both make to work things out. If its worth fighting for it, fight. If not then try to move on however hard it is. Hope its been of some help. Good luck slbg

Hi KayM05 Well sorry to hear you are having problems with your b/f Just give him some space, if he calls you just play it cool. Try the NO CONTACT rule, give it a few weeks and then he will be ready to either get back or move on. Good luck

Hi pktmkm700, Sometimes people make mistakes, if they are confused and don't know what they want should you kick them to the curb. Most of u on this site are looking for a second chance with our exs, if we all took your outlook none of us would have girlfriend ever. Im not saying that if the lie and cheat you should stand by them, all im saying is we all deserve a second chance. If they mess up again then sure, kick em to the curb.

Hi Avalon23199, Sorry to hear about your problem. It must be hard enough being pregnant let alone having trust issue with your boyfriend. The only advice I can give is; if your boyfriend wants to be part of your life and loves you he should give up his life on the internet. It's a big decision to have a child and has many responsibilities. If he can have child with you he must make a compromise and give up on the net. He must make a choice, does he want to have a life and family with you or does he want a life online with his virtual friends. Im not saying give him a major choice as we don't know enough about ur situation. How old are you? How old is he? Hope this helps slbg

Hi every one, Thanks for all your posts. In response to tiger_lilies post I am very hurt and upset about her meeting somebody else. About 2 weeks ago a friend of mine sent her a text asking her how she was and if she needed anybody to talk to regarding the break up. In response to this text she replied: Im ok, "slbg" isn't talking to me anymore we r not friends but me and you are. I have a new bloke, moving out Monday, I no it must seem fast but I don't want to let this one slip away. He makes me laugh and treats me like a princess. So my friend replies back saying: Glad u r ok, bit sudden, hope u r making the right choice. Bit of a kick in the teeth for "slbg" so close to his birthday. "slbg" is just giving you the space u need. Sorry forgot to mention, this was on Friday, my birthday was on Sunday. She then replied the text saying: plz don't tell "slbg" I want to tell him myself when he is talking to me again. I want him to hear it from me. My friend agrees with her but contacts me and breaks the bad news, my heart hits the floor and my emotions start running wild. Im angry, scared and upset. Well on Sunday my birthday comes and goes, by mid afternoon she had not sent me a txt or said happy birthday so I sent her a txt saying: Hi hope ur ok, plz let me no what u want done with the rest of ur stuff. Speak soon slbg. In reply she txt: Happy birthday, I will arrange to get my stuff next week. Hope ur having a nice day. Well on the Monday I txt her in the morning asking when she wants to collect her stuff, she calls me up and says she will be round in 10mins. On arrival I played it cool, invited her in and gave her some of her stuff back, hadn't had time to pack all of it up so just gave her a few bits. We had a short chat just friendly, no talk of relationship or nothing. Then her phone rings and she gets up 2 leave. As she is on her way out I say to her: I no u want to move on, I will sort the rest of ur stuff out mid week and drop it round ur mums. She says fine, I then ask her if we can meet for a final talk, tie up loose ends and get a lil bit of closure on everything. She agrees and says she will txt me later. Well that was 2 weeks ago. So to sum things up, she had a perfect opportunity to tell me she had met somebody else and that she was moving out of her mums but she didn't. She never said a word. I haven't told her I no, I didn't react, didn't call her or txt. Just keep quite, played the game and pretended I didn't no. So yes I am angry, but many people have said to me she might not have a new boyfriend. She may just be playing games. So whats your take on things everyone ??? Thanks slbg

Ok, Could really do with some advice. Me and my ex fiancée were together for 5 years. 5 and a half weeks ago she splits up with me. For the first few weeks I tried to get her back, begged and emailed (the whole lot) After a few weeks I decided to start NO CONTACT. Recently found out she has met somebody else who treats her like a princess and makes her so happy. Was really tough excepting it but didn't want to pressure her and backed away (hence started no contact) Well its been 2 and a half weeks since we last spoke, she did send me an email last week but I didn't reply. I have been on this site for a few weeks, made a few post and had some great advice. What I really want to no is should I break the NO CONTACT with a small txt message saying hi, how are things going ? Nothing about the relationship, no begging just hi. To cut a long story short I don't think my ex feels that I think she is very special/important to me. Im starting to have doubts if the NO CONTACT was the best route. Ive missed her so much, every day I check my phone and email hoping she will make contact. Then when she doesn't feel low and wish she would realize I love her and return. So what do you think guys, will a small txt or even an email 2morrow morning hurt? Should I wait for her to miss me and initiate? What if she is on the verge of contact me as she misses me and I make the first move, will I have blown all I have worked hard on? I have posted bits about my story, if you want more info take a look at some of my other posts. Thanks in advance Regards slbg

Hi MelissaPerry, Sorry for the delay in responding to your post. Well the situation is very weird. Hanging onto your stuff can only leave a window of communication open. If he gives you all your stuff back, you may never call again. On the other hand if he returns all your stuff you might still contact him. I don't think he wants to lose you, its sounds to me like there are some games being played. Me and my ex split up 5 weeks ago, she took most of her stuff but left a few things. A few clothes and other stuff but also her passport. I want to give her back ALL her stuff, im in two minds. Part of me knows it's the right thing to do but part of me wants to keep the stuff so she will contact me. Sad really I no, if she calls and wants her stuff she wasn't calling/contacting to talk to me. But from what I have read on this site, the dumper will often leave stuff so that they can make excuses to contact without having to admit they missed you. There are a lot of games which can be played, some more hurtful than others. Most of us don't want to play games but often cannot see that we already are. I've looked for advice on my situation but have yet to make any decisions, I hope for the both of us that it will all work out in the end. We can only become stronger, if you want you stuff back I would just contact him and ask he returns it. If hes funny about giving it back then he does not want to let go, doesn't want to lose you and is holding on in hope. Hope this has helped, Regards slbg