SLBG

Im on day 3 of NC, have broken NC a few times but this time really feels different... Ive really started to let go of her, I feel a hell of alot better about things....

Ok so im on day 3 of no contact and im finding it really hard. ITs the weekend and so I no she will be going out etc. The last time I heard from her was yesterday moring, via txt. As for the NC, how much effort does the ex have to put in if they want you bk? if your ignoring there calls, txts, emails, how can they actually get u bk? My ex told me on wednesday that she loves misses n wants me bk but then acted totally different n started ignoring me in the evening This is soooo confusing

You have made it this far... 39 days WOW Thats over a month..... you are doing sooo well... im a NC newbie... its been little over a day.... its hard.. shesh id love to just txt her bk... but NO.. we have to stay strong... Time is a healer, stay positive, keep your chin up and dont give up.

Im on day 2 of NC, Woke up this morning n my ex has txt me saying "hope your ok xxx" Very distant txt, for someone that was only saying 2 days ago that she loved wanted n missed me... oh and that i was her soul mate n she wanted me back Roll on day 3 I think NC is a bit like giving up smoking or anyother addiction, the 1st week is hard but then it can only get easier... shame there isnt a "giving up ex patch" lol we would all be wearing one... I gave up smoking over 3yrs ago and have never looked back.... *waves goodbye to ex"

Im on day 1 as well Have read alot of superdaves threads.... WOW Has helped me find my head again.....

Thats a very nice poem Made me smile I have to say. Keep up the good work

There are some things in life you cannot change, hair loss is one of them. However, you can work on feeling better inside. Dont try to change things that cannot be changed, work on the things that can.

All relationships are based on trust.... If you trust your partner then Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind isnt really a problem. More often than not, a man in a relationship will not see that he is neglecting his partner by seeing his m8s and doing hobbies. Women often want to fill a void in there life... being in a relationship makes them feel safe and wanted... but when you fill the void with someone else you have to understand they also have a life of there own. The key to being happy is finding a way to fill the void without the need of a partner. Now.. Im not saying that you shouldnt have a partner you just need to find things in life that make you happy. Once you are happy in yourself and have filled the void with yourself, hobbies and social life (or what ever it may be) others will want to be apart of your life. BUT, relationships are about give and take, if your partner is spending more time with there mates and hobbies then maybe you need to tell them how you feel. Once you make your partner aware of what they are doing they can either change it or continue. Then you have a choice, are they really what you are looking for, do they really make you happy, do they have the commitment to make the relationship work. Dont give up on a relationship until you have given it a chance, give yourself a chance to see how you feel but also give your partner a chance

"Everybody needs a little time away," I heard her say, "from each other." "Even lover's need a holiday far away from each other." Hold me now. It's hard for me to say I'm sorry. I just want you to stay. After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to. And after all that's been said and done, You're just the part of me I can't let go. Couldn't stand to be kept away just for the day from your body. Wouldn't wanna be swept away, far away from the one that I love. Hold me now. It's hard for me to say I'm sorry. I just want you to know. Hold me now. I really want to tell you I'm sorry. I could never let you go. After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to. And after all that's been said and done, You're just the part of me I can't let go. After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to. You're gonna be the lucky one.

Well really all you can do is be yourself. Now if you are friends then the friendship isnt worth loosing.... Although he is currently off limits you do not no what the future holds.

Well I am unsure if you have read my post correctly... @ wot point did i say If you look @ my post you will see that I was stating a fact about problems women face when they grow, and not at any stage saying that not being able to orgasm was a serious problem. SLBG

Hi ang3l2004, Thanks for your post. Its great to vent things, its better that you let it all out in a safe and understanding place. Well done for having the courage to post on this forum. Im sure that in time the feelings will change, the pain will fade and you will understand things better. Good Luck SLBG

Why are gurkins green ? LOL Welcome to enotalone..... slbg

Hi hazlcha, Well this is gonna be of no help to you...... Sounds like a great adventure..... Just play it cool, I like the sound of getting her to come to your concert. Maybe you could contact her agent. Tell em bout the concert and the exposure she would get from it..... If your gonna do it, you gotta do it properly. Get the local press to come down. I dont no... just dont fake it... make it real. Even if you cannot meet her wot an adventure it would have been Good luck.. let me no what happens SLBG

Hi angrybeaver, Well thats a tough question. Often when the time is right you will kiss. I wouldnt think about it too much or you will end up not kissing and the moment wont be real. Just play things cool, go with the flow and if you kiss you kiss. Dont over think things, there isnt a rule book to kissing, there are no instructions to love. Follow your heart and be true to yourself. Good luck SLBG

Hi Adzy, Thanks for your post. People often only want what they cannot have, your best friend was in a relationship and so you felt safe flirting with her. Now that she has broken up with her b/f the idea that things could become real must scare you. Even though you may not understand this, the feelings you have for your best friend are not the feeling that build a relationship. Meeting this other girl has allowed you to move on from your best friend. Just be careful, if you really like your best friend you need to give her the time and space she needs to heal and grow. If you rush things then it will fail. Give her time, let her grow, see how things work out with kate but dont hurt you best m8. Its a tough place to be I no, but you have to do the right thing. Ask yourself if you really like your best mate, if the answers yes.. Do not continue with kate. Good luck SLBG

Hi Goddess4ever, Thanks for the great post. I dont think you are the only person that feels that way, and I dont think that this problem only applies to men..... There is a sad fact in life.... most people spend there whole life looking for the right person when they are right under there nose. The internet seems to attract many different people, some are nice, some are strange. Online dating seems to attract alot of people as it seems like an easy way to find the perfect partner. If you walk into a bar you will see lots of different people, most of us only ever look at the people we are attracted to. We dont give others a 2nd look and would never consider that they could be the perfect match. You need to consider all the people you dont look at, understand that these are all lost oppertunities and that Mr Right could be the other side of the bar. Now online dating has grown over the past few years, more and more people are signing up to sites, adding there pics and profile and hopeing that the right person comes along. If love and happiness was as simple as a few clicks on the internet we would all be in love with our perfect partner. I think you need to give the online dating a chance, dont let it get you down as there are alot of people out there all looking for the same things as you. If you search to hard you will not find what you are looking for. Most people that meet there perfect partner often was'nt looking. Dont spend your life looking for some one esle to make you happy. Learn to be happy with your self, learn to love you and be happy on your own. Once you have done this people will see this, they will sense your confidence and want to be apart of your life. Im sure alot of people find what they are looking for on the internet but dont give up on the possibilty of meeting a partner in the real world. You never no whats round the corner. Stay positive and get your self out there. Open up the possibilities of meeting a partner, go out with your friends, join a club but overall ENJOY YOURSELF. Remember: You dont marry the person you can live with, You marry the person you cannot live without. Good luck in what ever you choose. SLBG

Hi Bars, Sowwie to hear you are having problems. I can assure you that this has nothing to do with you being a virgin. If you still have problems maybe you should see medical advice. There are some problems when women grow and sometimes the wall of the virgina do not form properly or excess skin grows. This can be a serious problem later on in life, Its worth seeing your GP or family planning clinic so that they can rule these out. Act now, Dont put off till 2morrow what you can do today. Good luck. Hope every thing is ok SLBG

Hi GN, To be honest I think you have to go with the flow on this one, if you try to hard to make it a special moment you could end up messing things up and looking an ameture. Just play it by ear, if its gonna happen it will and if this girl is special to you im sure you show her that in many other ways apart from kissing. Sure the 1st kiss with a girl can be worrying but after you have kissed her once you will be more relaxed and enjoy being close with her. Hope I have been of some help, all be it my 1st kiss was many yrs ago Gd luck slbg

1) 5yrs 2) 6months 3) We grew apart, she wanted to be free 4) 23

Hi down_n_down, Well sorry to hear about your situation. Me and my ex fiancee where 2gether for 5 years, she walked out 7 weeks ago and its not getting n e easier. I really want this girl back in my life but I no that will never happen. She got better things to do now. Do you wanna go on holiday with the ex? Will the ex boyfriend be goin aswell? If you love her and want to be with her then you need to find out if shes playing games. We could really do with the above questions bein answered so we can give u better advice. slbg

Thanks dartanian lives, Kinda wish I was at the stage u r at. Still feeling sorry for myself hoping she will come back. Been 7 weeks since the break and kinda no deep inside my heart she will never return. Well thanks for ur post, did make me smile but only for a minute. Back to self pity me thinks LOL Good luck with your new love interest. slbg

Hi sera_michele, Thanks for your poat. Well I am trying not to blame myself but at the end of the day if I had of seen what I was doing maybe should wouldnt of left. Im so depressed now, we wanted to start a family and now that is all gone. My cousin has had a baby and every time I see lil Tommy I see the lost oppertunity. Thank for the post. slbg

Hi Dawn22, Sorry to hear about your situation. Although I am not married I have been in the same sort of situation. I was with my Ex fiancee for 5 years, we got engaged on Christmas Day 2002. Well 7 weeks ago she walked out because she said I wasn't showing her enough love and attention. We were also very close for the first 3/4 years, but something changed. About eight months ago the relationship took a turn for the worst, we stopped kissing and cuddling as often, didn't have sex and spent less and less time together. We lived together and so we would always be in the house together, but I would be working on my computer while she was watching TV. At night she would go to bed and I would tell her I would be up in 5mins but after 3-4 hours when she had fallen asleep I would go up to bed. What im trying to say is, I really messed up. I never stopped loving her, I just got rapped up in my own problems to show her that I cared. I love my Ex fiancee more than life itself, she told me on many occasions prior to the break up that she didn't feel important to me and that the love she had for me was getting weaker all the time. When she walked out my world fell about, I am still very hurt and am finding it hard to rebuild my life without her. It was such shock to the system, I knew we had problems in the relationship but never thought she was going to leave. I felt comfortable that she loved me and was gonna be there for me, it never crossed my mind that she was hurting and would leave. I have been so blind to it all, I have lost the most important person in my life and have little hope that she will return. I think that you need to talk to your husband, dont let things get out of control. If you love him it is worth fighting for. Even though he doesn't show it, I think he loves you with all his heart. We all have strange ways of showing our feelings and as a man often dont realise what we are doing until its too late. After speaking with my Ex fiancee I told her that I had realised how I made her feel and loved her but she said too little too late. Please, dont let this guy slip away. I have been there, its easy to drift and one day he will of drifted to far away and you will not have the strength to fight. slbg

Hi vfunkera, Well I no exaclty how you feel. My Ex fiancee walked out on me 7 weeks ago, we had been together for 5 years. After the first 2 weeks we met up, I knew I wasnt ready but couldnt miss the oppertunity to see her. So we arrange to met the following day, I lay in bed tht night and cannot sleep. When the morning comes I wake up only having 3 hours sleep and start getting ready to see her. I was so excited/nervous that I couldnt eat, the closer it got to her coming over the more ill I felt. I started getting stomach pains and ended up running in and out the of the bath room. When she arrived, I told her I wasnt feeling to good, I was shacking. I felt so bad, I really wanted to see her and show her I was doing well but ralized she was making me physicaly ill. Well after this meeting I didnt see her for weeks, started no contact and started to let go. I started to come to terms with the fact she was gone and was never coming back. 4 days ago she came to collect some clothes, it was pre arranged the previous day. I felt strong inside and thought that I was getting over her. But I still couldnt sleep, and didnt eat for a day. Its been 7 weeks since the split, but ever time we arrange to meet I become physicaly ill. Im so nervious and my anxiety levels hit the roof. I no its tough, after seeing her I just felt disappointed. Even though things didnt go 2 bad, they didnt go how I would of like them to. I think we both have to give ourselves more time to heal and recover. I cannot let the feeling I have for my ex make me ill. since the split my stress levels reduced, but when I am in contact with the Ex they return but to an all new high. slbg