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SLBG

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Everything posted by SLBG

  1. SLBG
    Hi Gee Cee Well u sound alot better 2day. Its a very postitive way of thinking I must say. Go for it, we all no u can do it. Stick with the no contact and I am sure u will obtain ur goal. U have been through so much, we will all be here for you. The only thing I wanted to point out was, even if somebody misses you that isnt always a reason for them to come back. I was reading a few posts 2day and found out that even if ur ex starts to miss u, that may not b a reason for them to return. Im not saying that will be the case for you, we dont want our exs to come running back just because they missed us. We want them to return because the love us, need us and want to spend their life with us. If my ex returned because she missed me Im not saying I wouldnt be happy, but I would have my doubts they would stick around. I will only allow my ex back into my life if I am 100% sure its for the right reasons. I dont want to waste any more of my life or time with somebody who is not ready to make a commitment. Just think about what I have said, I hope this doesnt upset you. Good luck, love the new outlook. slbg
  2. SLBG
    Hi hugabug, Well this is a tough one. If u love this guy then size doesnt matter. I think that what the other ppl have said is true. Try and experiment with other things. One day you will stop having sex and will start making love. When this happens nothing else will matter. U will b on a higher level. But for now, try all of the above. When I first met my ex fiancee we had sex all of the time, after a about a year the sex turned into making love. Just being close with her, knowing we would wake up together, and share our life together changed the way we felt. Sex with a stranger does not have any emotions, but when u r in love its a whole lot better. The feeling of be close with the 1 one u love, the trust u have that they will not judge u r laugh at u is the greatest feeling on this earth.
  3. SLBG
    Hi themysteriousone, I think that love is only a word. The emotional attachment to this word will differ between us all. I love my family and friends, I love my ex fiancee but they are all loved in different ways. The most important person in my life is my mum, I have very strong emotions and feelings for her. I also have deep feelings for my ex fiancee, the love runs deeper with my mum but is different to the love I had for my fiancee. We all share our love, I hope I spread my love fairly. If somebody touches ur life and u love them the love will never die. It may not be as strong as it use to be but there will always b a connection. I love all the people in my life and hope I show them that I care. So to answer ur question, yes I think we can love more than 1 person we just have different ways of showing it. slbg
  4. SLBG
    Hi K8tie Kool, Well I just wanted to say that I no exaclty how you feel. My ex fiancee walked out on me six weeks ago. We were together for 5 long years. She had so many problems in here life, she had been suffering from depression, had many issues including problems from her childhood and a family which didnt care about her. So I stuck by her, I didnt let things get us down. I was always there for her and my family took her in. She started to improve over the years, moved in with my (to get away from her family) went to college and got a job. Her life was on the up, or so I thought. Then about a year ago the depression came back, I asked if It if was my fault but she just said her life was tough and that it wasnt my fault. I couldnt understand, I took on all of the responsibilities for her. Payed the bills, cooked the dinner, washed our clothes and cleaned the house. I felt so lost inside, I was doing every thing I could to be there for her. I just couldnt help but blame myself. I just wished I could take away her pain, remove the memories of her past and replace them with happy ones. So to cut along story short, she decided that she was still young, she wanted to see the world. She felt she wasnt important to me. I didnt have time to be her lover and her carer at the same time. Now she has gone, her life is not on its way up. Now she has the freedom to do what she wants. But instead of dealing with her problems she is drinking and smoking drugs to take away the pain. Her friends & family do not care about how she feels, they didnt want to support her. I took on the role and look where it got me. Well I was just packing the rest of her stuff and I found a note pad she had written in. She spoke of her childhood and the feeling she has for her family. She also wrote how good I had been to her and said I was her rock. It was hard to read it knowing she has gone, she will not be coming back and I have to deal with that. I totally understand how u feel, I just wish I knew how to take away ur pain. Plz stay strong, and dont give up. We did our best and thats all that matter, we touched there lives and maybe 1 day we will again. My exs problems dragged down our relationship, now she is gone she thinks she can face the world alone. I only hope she is right slbg
  5. SLBG
    Thanks Michael2, Ur right, Im not gonna push for a metting. IF she doesnt want to see me then thats fine. Ive had alot of time to think and I have realized its not all my fault, yeah I made mistakes but it takes two to tango. Im gonna give her all the space she needs, I am finally getting better and my outlook on life has picked up. The past six weeks have been really hard, I dont no what I would of done with out u guys. U have all helped me so much & I will never forget u all. The ex is going to email me 2morrow for a chat, she must b so curious what I have been up 2. But Im not a love sick puppy n e more, im stronger, I have grown. When she emails Im gonna think before I reply, thats even If I do reply. She has made me feel so bad the past few weeks, I have been so low and felt so bad. Now that I am dealing with it all I can see that I dont need her in my life. It was her choice to leave, not mine. I didnt force her to leave. She has made her bed and now she will have to lay in it. Thanks ppl slbg
  6. SLBG
    Hi MC Keep up the good work, I agree this site is excellent. Im so glad I found it. You will have to join in on the chat when its open. I was online last nite and it really helped. Give it a go. slgb
  7. SLBG
    Thanks MC, Well I have had a few short term relationships but only 2 serious ones. The first serious relationship was a long distance relationship, the second which I am trying to deal with now my ex only love round the corner to me. When my first long term relationship ended, she rang me up and told me over the phone. I didnt have email, mobile phones at this point and as I was young and didnt have a job couldnt use my mums phone so there was no contact. I have spoken with my ex from 6 years ago and she said she had missed me and regretted her decision. But it was too late. She broke my heart and I promised never to get hurt again. Well look at me now, didnt think I would let it happen again. Its really different this time round, I have email, mobile phone, money, my own car. I have more options now. When my first long term relationship ended I didnt talk to her, about 2 years past before I spoke with her. She told me that If I had of contacted her or if she could of contacted me she thinks we would of got back on track within about 2-3 months of the break up. So, now Im in the same sort of boat I do have hope. Im just gonna hang in there and see what happens. WE WILL have a good story to tell one day, and I can assure you that when I do have one I will be here posting for you all to read. Thanks for being there for me eveybody. slbg
  8. SLBG
    I dont think u should mix business with pleasure. Its only my opinion but I would never date somebody I worked with, even if they was my manager. Just think about how it would be if you had a row or split up and had 2 see him every day. Its to complex, and very hard to deal with. Sorry if its not what u wanted to hear. slbg
  9. SLBG
    Shikas Me and my ex fiancee were together 5 years. We have been split up for 6 weeks. Look, part of the reason we split up was because I wasnt ready to have children with her. She kept asking and I would always change the subject or say no. Now that she has gone I realize how much children must of meant to her but after contacting her a week after the break up telling her I was now ready to start a family she told me that she didnt want to take me back just because I was no read y for children. They are a huge commitment, they are not toys, they are lil people who deserve a good upbrining and a mom and dad who love each other. What im trying to say is having a baby will not change his mind, u have to back off and let him make his mind up. If he decides that u r the one for him then maybe later on down the line starting a family would be a good idea. I also feel desperate to get my ex fiancee back, I told her I would have kids with her if she would come back. I can now see that I dont want her to come back just because I will give her what she wants. Now that she is single and living a single life she may not want to have children any more. Plz dont do it, I think u will b making the biggest mistake. Tell him how u feel, tell him u want his babies. just b patient. If my ex fiancee had more patients she would of got her child, all I needed was a bit of time to think. I am now ready to be a dad but now Im not sure if my ex fiancee will ever be the mother of my children. Hope this has helped. slbg
  10. SLBG
    Hi The Morrigan, Thanks for the advice. Well she said we will have a proper chat via email on Monday, so there is no talk of us meeting up. Do you think it is a good idea to invite her out on evening after work for a drink/coffee. Its been 3 weeks since I last saw her, she only seems to want to contact me during work hours but she does not want to no me over the weekend. I would love to meet up with her, I dont no if she would say yes though as she has a new boyfriend. Dont no if she is serious with him, others from this site have said not to take much notice of the new guy as he means nothing. So what do u think, If I ask and she says no then what have I lost, or if I ask she may think Im being clingy/needy and decline. when she emails on monday Im gonna play it cool, not gonna mention the relationship like you said and just be there for her. Im going crazy without her, just wish I could have a chance to show her I am the man for her. Well I look forward to hearing ur view. slbg
  11. SLBG
    Ok, just had a thought. Im probably totally wrong but here goes: So my ex fiancée walks out on me 6 weeks ago, she says Im better off with out her. I try begging, txting, emailing etc but I don't get any where. Then I start the NO CONTACT rule. I stay strong for 3 weeks but then send the ex a blank email by mistake. She replies sounding very curious about what I have been up to, I don't reply and she sends another email saying that she was leaving work now and would contact me Monday for a proper chat, she also said she was off to get drunk (did I really need to no) Well I have been giving things a lot of thought and I have realized that my ex fiancée didn't think she was important to me. I didn't show her enough affection and love. So this is my question: If she doesn't feel important to me, what good would the no contact do things. Will it push her away ??? If/when she emails Monday, should I try to tell her how important she is to me ???? Any advice would be great. slbg
  12. SLBG
    Hi MC Glad we have been of some help to you. The no contact route may be the best thing you can do for now. I started the no contact rule 3 weeks ago but felt weak and sent the ex a blank email. She replied asking how I was and was curious about what I had been up to, how my family was etc. Then she emailed and said she would email me Monday for a proper chat!!!! But went on to say she hoped I had a nice weekend and that she was off to get drunk. So to sum things up, I really wanted to hear from her but when I did I was disappointed that she didn't let me no if she had missed me or not. I was kinda expecting her to break down and tell me she loved me and had made a mistake. She didn't, she sounded like she was really happy and was moving on. I'm not sure how to take things at the moment. Is she playing games, does she want a reaction, do I have to show her how important she is to me and fight for her. These are all questions you will ask your self, but you have to stay strong. Only time will tell. Having NO CONTACT is tough, but as I have learned having contact can also be disappointing. The day may come when the ex contacts and says they have missed you, but until that day we all have to move on, grow and build up our strength. I'm scared that she will not return, I have only ever had 2 long-term relationships. This is all new to me but I am grateful that this site is here. I am so lucky to have you all helping me and will never forget the kind words you have all said. I will look back one day and see that this site helped me through the hardest time in my life. Even if she never returns I will have the tools and skills to succeed in my next relationship. Thank you all for being there when I have needed you the most, without you things would have been a lot tougher and I may not have dealt with things in the same way. Thanks again slbg
  13. SLBG
    Why do you want to trap him. If he loves you then you should tell him you want to have his baby. Plz try 2 think straight, I would not suggest that you try to trap him.
  14. SLBG
    If they cheated during the relationship then NO second chances. But if you are on a break and she sees other guys then you can forgive her. Like I said, if she is confused and doesnt no what she wants then you have to wait, its all just a big game. Good luck.
  15. SLBG
    Hi Aha, Dont contact her. let her see what she is misssing. Maybe in time she will see that you are the one she loves. If not then you have to move on. I wish you the best of luck slbg
  16. SLBG
    Hi neallo82288, Thanks for your post. well I think your right, I messed up big time. I feel like a piece of garbage. I loved her and she doesnt love me. I will move on with my life but its gonna be tough. Still feeling low slbg
  17. SLBG
    Hi aha, Sorry to hear about your situation. I am currently 3 weeks into NO CONTACT. its doesnt get much easier but you will get stronger. Only time will heal, if your ex comes back then great. But if they do not return you have to move on. Just stay strong, 3 day is not along time. Remember, time is a healer. Take time to heal, then you will be ready to contact them. good luck. slbg
  18. SLBG
    If you go out looking for somebody you will fail. From past experiences things will happen when you least expect it. Go out, enjoy ur self, you will meet somebody when u least expect it. good luck slbg
  19. SLBG
    Life is a game, some no the rules others dont. Follow your heart, stop playing the games and see it for what it is. Good luck. If u need more advice we are all here to help
  20. SLBG
    Thank you bubbles, You have summed things up so well, your poem is deep and meaningful. I would love to send my ex girlfriend your poem. Im currently working on my own poem, I will post it when it is finished. Keep up the good work. slbg
  21. SLBG
    I wish the world was perfect, and ideal. We can only hope.
  22. SLBG
    Hi sphinx999 I think that ur Signature is so true: When you fall in love you give away part of your soul, but you also gain part of some one elses, neither can ever be returned or lost. Thank you so much, I only wish that the people I love realize this.
  23. SLBG
    Thanks RJ, I was pretty low earlier, full of emotion when she emailed but stayed strong and didn't respond. Don't think she will be sweating it, she hasn't had time to miss me. I don't want to lie to her and tell her I have moved on if I haven't. I can see your point though. I don't know if I will speak with her Monday, I feel so hurt and abused. Kinda thought I was ready for just friends but looking at things I don't think I am. If she does email, I will be vauge, wont say to much. Had some strange feelings 2nite. Was thinking of asking her to go away with me this summer for a holiday. Crazy I no. Thanks for your post. slbg
  24. SLBG
    Hi MC Well I kinda no how you feel, I also wrote a post early today in tears. Just let it all out, it wont change things but you will feel better. You ordeal will be over when you have the strength to let go, its easy to post saying that you dont want n e thing to do with the ex anymore but harder to do. I no how you feel, I have posted in the past saying I want to move on but deep down inside its killing me. I dont want to move on, I dont want n e body else. I just want me & my ex to get back 2gether. remember its not all about what "I want" if they want you back they will make the effort to contact you and tell you. Sorry I cannot be more of a help to you, we r in the same boat. Good luck what ever you choose to do.
  25. SLBG
    I dont think that you can make sure he contacts you. If you want to speak to him, I would contact him. Its a bit of a gamble, if you contact him he may be missing you and want to talk. On the other hand he might not be ready to talk. Take control of the situation, if contacting him makes you happy then follow your heart. Good luck
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