akatoro

Hey, hun.. I am sad that you must feel so depressed. It's hell wherever you look and nothing seems to be able to make you happy. But you seem to have a really understanding father who cares about you. And eventhough it might seem that your two friends and your bf chased you and did not want to leave you alone - they only did it out of worry. Your bf loves you so much, you know. Would you like to see him sad, hurt and you there unable to help him? I know that depression often includes self-loathing and self pity. But either way, those around you care so much about you and believe it or not; they're not out to get you. They want you to be happy because they love you. I am sure that they're afraid of you not loving them - because how could someone who loves them hurt herself so badly? I was also depressed once, but I sought help from a psychiatrist and I was put on Zoloft. I ate the pills and went to meetings for about a year and it really made my foggy head a lot clearer. They're professionals and they're there to help you, it's what they are good at. Please give them a chance, it's relieving to talk to people who you do not know but who are there to listen to you. I wish that you would not feel so sad and depressed. I hope that you can get well soon and that you'll find happiness. Good luck, Sphinx.

I don't think that it is a gender-specific solution..

Hey there. Sadly, ignoring people is a part in shielding yourself from getting hurt. If you can summon enough pain and just focus it all to one source, it's much easier to move on and forget about the past. I am sorry to say that he might be doing this to you. IMHO he seems to be breaking it all off in the most effective pain-killing way possible... For him, that is.

Hey there. I don't know what it means. Prolly just that she cares about you. You should call her and just hear what she wants to say. Let her do the talk and just see where it leads.

Hey, Jeff. I've quit smoking in the past, once I stopped cold turkey. And another time I began "snusing" instead. yet another time I used nicotine pills that you put under your tongue. All of these methods worked really well but I just decided to go back to smoking. I like to smoke when I'm bored or go on walks because then I have something to do. It's also a way of socializing believe it or not. I would say that stopping cold turkey is the hardest. As Cid said, it's all about willpower and there's a big chance that you'll just think, "hey I can smoke one cigarette without becoming addicted." or "I have this pack left from last nights party.. What a waste not to smoke them, I can come out of it without becoming addicted.". You will, with a 90% chance, become addicted again. I suggest using nicotine pills that you put under your tongue. Snus is a good way too, but it's also addictive but not as expensive in the long run.

I drank a lot of alcohol around the years when I was 14-17. Now I'm 19 and I only drink once or twice every other six/seven months. I hate the feeling of regret when, or if, you get hungover. That is the worst part IMHO. It is a way to socialize first and foremost. Atleast for me, that is. I am a pretty shy guy so when I get tipsy, I get a little better at talking to people.

Hey, Cid. I guess this only goes to show that war is bad. I am sorry that you cannot spend your desired time with your girlfriend. I can only guess what it must feel like And I am also sorry to hear that your friend died. As much as I am against American military going into Iraq, I am saddened when individuals die in the attempts of liberating the country. And if that new girl bothers you stiff; perhaps you could just freeze her out if her only reason is to try and steal you from your gf? But bare in mind that she might also just want to comfort you and be a friend now that you've lost another friend and you cannot be with your gf. It can be really hard to interpret certain situations sometimes, especially when you have so many other things to think about. Good luck, Cid.

Hey. I'm also a guy but I don't freak out when I hear about things like that. It is after all, only natural and a part of being a woman. But if you don't want to tell him out loud, "I've got PMS", perhaps you could hint at it instead? Good luck

The only reason she sent me that SMS was probably, and very likely, only because I entered a game that we both play and when she saw me, she suddenly remembered that I exist again. --- Just like when we were together. She'd ignore me till I entered the game and then she'd answer my Icq message.. And the game doesn't make you so busy that you cannot stop for two seconds to read/answer/send a reply.

Hmm, well I can't say that I have ever made the first move on them girlies. But what I like to hear are compliments about my hair and clothes. But even more, I like to hear compliments about my personality once you've gotten to know this girl more. I always hear, "Hey, you look so mean all the time". Not the best way to open up a conversation let me tell you. I hear it a lot but it's just the way I squint without glasses and the way my eyebrows are curved! And what I usually and honestly tell my friends when they're supporting me are something along the lines of, "You're a great friend. I wish everyone could have a friend as understanding and kind as you."

Hey, tomekk! I really think that you should take a chance and ask this girl out. Because, as you no doubt already know, uncertainty is a big problem standing between you and hers way to eachother. As you suggested, that she might be uncertain and shy as well. Just do it, buddy. If it works out, it'll be well worth it *thumbs up*

What a surprise, hehe. Just now she sent me an SMS saying, "Hey, how did it go? *worried*". Why am I having such wicked thoughts? Am I just looking for reasons to end our friendship? Could it be a defense-mechanism that I subconsciously rack down on her just because I want a reason, being too cowardly to just take things by the horns, and end it myself? ---- Could it really be that she doesn't want to call me? A phone call is really more personal. Is it that she is seeking even more distance? Now I'm even more confused. It was nice of her to sms me.. Eventhough I'd rather would have had a phone conversation. How should I react? *REALLY confused*

I don't really think of her as a girlfriend now and I am uncertain whether or not I think of her as a friend as well. Being "just" friends after something so serious is like nothing. And I doubt that I could ever become one of those friends who she can go to proms with. It sort of feels like I have no place, she's only keeping me as a friend because she feels guilty for breaking it up. It would still be nice to get a call and just see that she cares atleast a little. We were even talking about going skiing up in the mountains not long before she abruptly broke up with me. I just don't understand this situation as much as I would like to. I don't know.. But what is wrong with giving your ex a call if you know he/she has had surgery? It's just polite to do so. I don't expect her to come crying by my side and bandage me. Just a 'Hello, how are you doing' would suffice. And I'm not really jealous now. I understand that feelings are uncontrollable and that if she has met another guy.. It's her wish. She deserves to be happy. But after promising me so much and now just freezing me out; I guess I feel overlooked and like an "acceptable loss" to her.

Hey there. Once again I come to ask of your advice. I'll try to make this a short note. Please give any advice that you feel like sharing and don't just wait this thread out In short: My ex broke up with me some five or six weeks ago. She claimed that she needed time for herself. I guess I "demand" quite a bit of attention, so I can understand that she felt that way. We agreed to both be friends. But no more than four days afterwards she began spending time with a classmate of hers (also a woman) and in her dormatory. Two weeks ago I found out that she was going to a prom with some guy from that dormatory. The ticket sells for around 1000SEK (Around $120). It's quite a bit to spend with someone she claimed to only be friends with and who she has only known for such a short period of time (when he asked her our they had known eachother, in my knowledge, for five days. I guess it's all good that she can enjoy herself, but it does seem that she's been at that dorm only to spend time with that guy. She brought me a goldfish as a late birthday present last week. She forgot my birthday eventhough I hinted of it some three days prior to it. Anyways, when she got here we got to some talking. Only as friends. She also said that two guys from that dorm were so friendly and really funny. She has mentioned those two when we were a couple as well and I could tell from her expression and voice that she really enjoys their company.. All good and well, I suppose. But I'm guessing that it's one of those two guys that she's going with - leading me into thinking that she found someone better than me and thus dumped me. She also said that she spent so much time with her female friend because "She was tired of being alone" --- The very contradiction of the reason that she used to break up with me. I had surgery yesterday and I'm eating painkillers because it hurts very much. The night before she told me via the Icq that she would think of me. But she hasn't even called to see how I am doing; something that makes me feel very "overlooked". So I do not really know whether or not I should/can keep a friendly relationship with her. She lied to me before the breakup securing me in the belief that she still loved me very much. (I was jealous because she spent more time with her buddies than she did with me. A good reason in my humble opinion. She didn't even have the time to call me or talk to me via Icq.. Anyways, I sought help for the jealousy the day after. If the jealousy was what made the cup overflow, it was a crappy reason since I sought help for it and then she would have abandones me). So I don't know what to make of this current situation. It wouldn't surprise me if she fancies that other guy. And if she does, I guess I can't argue. Emotions are not anything that you can control.. But I don't know if I want, or can afford, a friend who lies to me. Please give me some advice on what to do. Part of me wants to end this here and move on, but another part of me wants to have her in my life still..

Hey there, Lilu. I am sorry, or perhaps a bit relieved, that I have gone through what you are going through now. I'm just guessing now, I could very well be wrong, but if the breakup of the marriage was a stressful one, you could've gotten a pair of fat-"lumps". It's quite hard to explain, but I have two tiny ones on my neck. They're not visible, but if you push down a little, they're there. I hope that this ordeal will work out for you in the very best way, Lilu. Good luck.

Hey there, Wento. I guess I am the living proof of a relationship that got through many obstacles and hinders. Even breakups. My mom and dad are still together to this day and I am, as I said, the result. Good luck

Perhaps you could've told the whole story then? Att first it sounded like you only wanted to cheat because he was bad in bed and not because of all of those reasons you brought up above. But why won't you break up with him before you go to another man instead?

So the relationship is all about sex then? You sound like a horrible person saying what you do. You're not the only one with feelings, you know.

Heh, yeah. And you'd prolly not want to say "How's it hanging" either I have never tried to use a line on some woman, I'm too shy. But I've heard that if you move up to someone, say by a bar, look her/him into the eyes and then tell the bartender "two ". If she/he says, "I don't want one" - just answer "It's not for you". If she doesn't say anything just move the glass to her and start drinking and see what happens

Hey pal. Try not to make the relationship seem like all you want from eachother is sex. It's much more than that and it will come when you're both ready. Don't hasten that experience, it's worth waiting for =).

Hey there. What he's doing is absurd and stupid but also a crime, right? I don't know what the law is called in the Philipines, but there's this law prohibiting false accusations over the net. It prohibits flaming private persons who have not agreed to be on that site, right?

I've always loved to place my ex gf's hand on my chest and just let her feel my heartbeat instead of me telling her how I feel. And while you're watching TV it's nice to get your hair/head massaged and loving strokes. Resting yer head in his or hers lap and just enjoy the movie and eachothers company. Really, if you stroke 'em right, they'll notice

Wow. Hey there. Your post made me quite upset Even my nose and toes are cold But listen to those members before me. They're right. And you have every right to be angry, as they said.. And, I don't usually like to call other people names and/or hurt them, but I guess that what you did is only a human self-defense mechanism. So at the very least - you're still healthy and functioning and you know that this was not in any way your fault. Nothing I, or any other member of enotalone, can say will make you feel better. Save perhaps the agreeing members: You're not the one to blame, and you have nothing to feel sorry for. From the looks of it, it was entirely her fault. And yes, she does not deserve you. Pardon me for saying so, but the only thing she deserves was the thing that spread to her and later on became your proof. Good luck, pal. I sincerely hope that you can shield yourself from her soon. Staying friends after such a severe breach of trust.. Who can afford to have them? I don't, but I am not the strongest person in the world either.. Anyways, be well.

I like to try and suck the breath (and maybe some soul and life-force while I'm at it) whilst kissing. Not too often though, then she'd be afraid to kiss me. But if you don't want to suck.. Try to blow. I would surely appreciate it if someone tried to give me some of their soul and life-force! Good luck!

Yeah, hey again. I guess I'm thinking about how or perhaps, where, to place Genesis note. Please remember, Jealous; That we do not know your boyfriend and thus we cannot tell you how to handle this situation. We can only pass along advice from our own experiences. But think it through both once and thrice before, or even if, you dump him. Because reading your note, I feel that communication is lacking. And if he wants to break up with you again because of a just question - you are prolly better off without him. And sounds sexist, Mr or Mrs allknowing. Good luck!