Jump to content


  • Posts

  • Joined

Everything posted by akatoro

  1. Dear, robowarrior. Thank you for your reply I much appreciate it. However, I feel I must say that what most students do is of the essense since I have to study and read novels as much as I described earlier. I've been boxing for about 4 years now and I've got a gym card as well but lately I have not found the time to go there. And I'm not really blaming the teachers, they go after a set programme and all I really wish for is for them to co-plan their lectures. School is important and I disagree with you when you say that teachers do not care. Granted I've met a few who never did but that is also why I am striving to become a teacher, to help young adults as well as give myself an oportunity to further expand my own knowledge in literature. I'm sad to hear that you've had such bad experiences with your teachers.. It's not so much that I dislike my programme because it's "poisonous" to me; having too high goals for myself as well as unrealistic hopes for myself is closer to the truth. Also, I'd love to stay in the university but I'm hardly able to even carry my own weight. If I could remove some of the pressure, believe me, I would, but it's not that easy. Demands on teachers-to-be are waaay up there and it's no lie when people compare the teacher's-programme to that which doctors have to go through in terms of years, dedication and whatnot. All I really want is a new outlook on things and I'm afraid I'm nearing my wits end.
  2. In my humble opinion guys like that need to be taught a lesson or two. What if the part of you wanting him back wins? Will the other part keep on hating yourself for it and if so, would it be worth it? What if the part of you that hates him wins? Will you keep yearning for him even though he's hurt you or will you go find someone better and become complete? I know it's a hard choice when you're in that spot and there really aren't any "black or white" options. Speaking from my own experience however, I'd shut him out, take what experience you have with him and strive to find a guy who won't go to the nearest and easiest gal. In the end you will have to decide for yourself. Just keep in mind that if you let him come back you might have to repeat your university years. Surely you have become stronger watching him with others, surely you are strong enough to be single a little while longer? I hope that this reply, eventhough it's not the answer to your question, can be of some help. Good luck // Akatoro.
  3. Hello everyone. I'm here, once again, for a bit of advice and I hope that it won't take too much of your time. Background story: I moved out of my parents apartment - I began studying at the local university where I live, it's a bit prestigious (but nothing like Harvard, Yale or such) to become a language teacher. To become a teacher I have to study for 5 years and take courses that, in my own opinion, I don't need since a lot of them concern children in grades 1-3 etc and I will be focusing on high-school/college students. It's a full time schedule which requires you to study every day, all day and end-terms are supposed to be handed in every fourth week. The issue: I was really happy to be accepted into the teachers programme and thought it'd be a walk in the park since I've just finished my military duty and thought that nothing could be harder than that. Well.. Things went along famously in the beginning but bit by bit I've crossed some sort of line. I'm constantly stressed out and even rude to my family. I've begun to ignore studying at home which I shouldn't and I hang out with friends instead (I used to study seven days a week, all day until my homework was done..). My mother and father are sad for me because they've noticed that I'm not myself as well as being rude to them when they're trying to find out what's wrong or trying to help me. My parents came over earlier today and tried to help me but, of course, I shrugged it off and sent them away. I feel like a total * * * because my father (Captain in the Army for gods sakes!) just called me and cried saying he was sad because I was so happy when I found out I was accepted to the university and worried because I've started acting so strangely. I used to be humble and calm but these past few weeks I've punched the walls in frustration and even thought about how nice it would be to, for once, solve problems with muscle instead of mouth. My thoughts: I thought Univ. was going to be a walk in the wark which it wasn't. I'm frustrated over the teachers and core-house's inefficient way of doing their job (Teachers never co-plan their lectures and we often end up having to skip a few books which we suffer for in the end. The core-house takes forever to send you important items such as cards which you need to have to be able to take exams, it took 3 months to get my card). Also, I'm not quite satisfied with having to pay A LOT of money for courses I am required to take but do not need. The alternative is, of course, to drop out and continue to work as an industrial painter which I have experience with but deeply dislike. This would require me to move away from my apartment as you have to study to keep it, however, my parents have also moved and so they would not have any room for me would I move out. Another downside is that in the winter you cannot work as a painter since it's cold outside and impossible to paint houses.. Question: What the hell should I do? I've never experienced this feeling of decadence, I've always strived to be responsible but now I'm weighed down by things I've earlier always pushed infront of me. I take it there are a lot of simple answers to this like, "tell your family you love them", "go talk to a pro. shrink" etc.. Please leave this thread if that's what your thinking. I need guidance but my experience with shrinks is that they're useless. Thanks for reading, thankful for advice.
  4. I am glad that you would risk so much for your pals health. Never mind "opposited attract", I believe that similarities cling together. What about you? You and your friend has more in common than you'd think, I'd bet. I'm sure he's not out for your ex's body. Surely you think more of him, no? =). If you excuse me, I have to get a bit personal now. I've been with a few girls myself, both loved and some one-nighters. I can promise you that one never takes the place of the other. The ones you love will always have a place in your heart - be sure never to cast them out whatever they did! You grow with them (However tacky this might sound, you grow spiritually. This is atleast my own idea) and you grow without them, emotionally. As I wrote earlier, you need to think about you and what you want, stand up and fight to become Him and then Get what you want, strive to keep the future happiness. With your newly learned talents you are much more likely to succeed. You say you were the first man this girl came to know intimately. I understand that there is a deep bond between the two of you eventhough she might not yet have realised it. It does not necessarily mean that you two are destined for eachother though.. Cherish what has passed and love what will come. Love is free, so are you. Sit, think, learn, act, learn. Life's your teacher, not some old man or woman infront of a blackboard . --- I am sorry if I am not making much sense but it is late here in the night and I'm afraid that English is only my second language.
  5. I agree with heloladies21 to some extent. It would be hard to watch your friend and ex together. A pain that you right now might not understand. But even so, you have to lie down and search the depths of your heart to see what you really feel about this girl. What is she worth? A million, I'm sure. But what are you worth? Even more, I'd say. You have to look after your own needs and you have to experience life as a single. There's much to offer, I'm sure. Strive to perfect yourself, seek to learn more about your environment. When you are the man you want to be the world will be at your feet. Let's ponder the subject about your friend and your ex, then... While it would be hard to see them together, they both deserve happiness. I'm not asking you to be inhuman and see the happiness it brings them. It will be tough on you but at the same time, it might encourage you to find new goals and further develop You. Take whatever comes to pass with you, let it be your teacher - learn from it, and strive to become a better man. I am sorry that I cannot be of much help but perhaps an answer to your doubts and fears is better than nothing. I wish you all well. Respectfully / Akatoro.
  6. I'm glad to see that you have thought about this, Nicole. But please think about it further before making a final descision. It's worth thinking thouroghly through. Whatever you decide, remember that a friend is better than anything else. You might find a friend in a lover or even the family. They never come cheap and they're worth risking pain for. Perhaps you and your ex won't get back together but what is to say that you won't be friends? Your relationship was only the end of a chapter. Your ex might appear in the next as a person who'd do anything for you without expecting anything in return .
  7. Yo! Here's my outside look of things. From what you have described it would seem that your friend is interested in knowing your opinion. He's telling you that he's interested in your ex and thereforeee it would seem that he is also considering your opinion to be a valuable one. The term "friendship" does guarantee a lifetime of happiness. A friend is someone who brings you down to the ground, who consoles you, asks for your advice and carries you out of the trenches. "Fights make you stronger" does not solely belong to relationships and boxing, it also adheres to the principals of friendship. Concerning your ex. Has she called you to check up on you, do you meet regularly? Where do the two of you stand right now? I'd like more information since it was a while back from break-up.
  8. Ahoy hoy. First of all I'd ask you to sit down, take it calm and ask yourself what you want to do. Do you really want to get back together with him? I know that feeling is usually the foremost need after a break-up. I once had the same difficulties that you now have and if you wish, you can read about it in my first posts. I've been single now for about 15 months and I've even served in the army. But this is about you, and you are the most important thing in the universe right now. (I hope you feel the same way). I'm labeling it "need" because I feel that it is more than an emotion. All you think about is "him" or "her" after a break-up. But what about You? How long have you two been broken up and for how long have you been single in the sense that you have seen the world and possibilites that are there for -You-, alone? Either way, this meeting is nothing to freak out over. Be yourself as I trust that you have always been in your relationship and see what comes at the end of the night. Whatever comes to be, remember to be strong and not so needy as to rely on another human being. Another person might complete you, but strive for perfection by yourself 'till then. I hope that I could be of some help to you. In the end, you have to make the descisions for yourself. All we can do is offer you an outside look of things. I hope all turns out well for you and that you follow your hearts desire.
  9. Ahoy hoy. Didn't bother reading the other answers but could be the first quote means you're expecting too much out of someone when they're giving you all they're capable of. It could also mean that they're loving you in other ways than you'd expect. They say that opposites attract so don't expect to understand everything in yer spouse. Second quote, well, it's a cliché is what it is. In my humble opinion it's often honestly spoken. Be glad someone loves you and thinks of you even though those thoughts might not be as intimate as you'd wish. "We are siamese if you please, We are siamese if you don't please" *sings his way into the horizon*
  10. I'm in the same dilemma only I don't know how to apply. The application forms and engines the univ. uses are incomprehensible. I figure I'll just stay in the army and go outlandish since I can't seem to get any girls anyways =P... But despite that, I think it's worth to further educate yourself. Don't let others tell you what not to do. I am sure you can surmount to something great if you only wish it. Some said the world was flat, other's struggled to prove it wasn't. Stand yer ground and be firm once you decide on what to do - might mean a world's difference. Good luck!
  11. Ah, good idea, JoyieGracie! Well I have two stories to share actually. The first one is about my parents who met in school (equivalent to High-School I think) and they were together many years. It was an on again-off again relationship and once they even split up for a whole year when they decided to date others. I guess I am living proof of what happened though, because they got together one last time and married - and here I am today. The second one is about me and my girlfriend of soon two years. We met like any other couple but after a year we broke up (her decision) and went separate ways. That was also the reason for me coming to this forum I might add. Either way, we got together last February.. Unfortunately she left to study in America for one year and so we've been in a long-distance relationship for four or five months now. I'm going up to visit her this christmas and she is also coming home after that.. So.. Life has a way of balancing things out, and even if you think it's impossible there is a treat waiting for you at the next corner. Don't let one bad experience spoil what could be a lifetime of happiness.
  12. Let's see, let's see.. Well currently I am in a long distance relationship with my GF (of soon two years), so talking is just about everything we can do. We usually talk about Bush, U.S.A, politics, animé, school, work, sex, cute stuff, movies, dreams/nightmares, the future to mention a few. Perhaps the key to a good discussion or chat is to Be interested and actually listen to the words that your loved one is saying. Tone of voice helps too, you can't sound like you're about to fall asleep.. And, euh, what more.. Be detailed without being dull and if you're noticing your gf/bf loosing interest - just throw in a fun or sexual word. I don't know, personally I hate talking on the phone. Hope it helped.
  13. I do not in any way mean to generalize. Perhaps it is these news combined with what I've heard from friends who are transferstudents as well as the "backgrounds" of some presidents and the prejudice from hollywood movies that have formed such an opinion in me. Avman and Mermaid, please forgive me if I appear to be a raving looney but I'm just so shocked and upset about what has happened to her. I was of course not serious about the statement that I made about weapons. But I do think that using alcohol is better than marijuana because from personal experiences I can say that narcotics mess with your brain far worse than beer or liquor can. And before I get a comment about me having used narcotics and disliking other people using it, I can only say that I know what it is like and I know what can happen.. Which only hightens my fear of what Could happen. - And from what I could hear they were not using hash or m-jane to drown their sorrows, it was merely a strategy. The parties at that college seem to be built around drinking as fast as you can at one house before the cops come, then quickly run to the next party, drink all you can, and run away to the next; and so on. Smoking is much quicker so that seems to be the buzz-of-choice.. To summarize, it's not to drench sorrows, merely because it's easier to use. And I am not in any way violent. I have never been in a fight. But when I hear about addict-morons sexually harrasing my girlfriend whom I cannot even talk to every day, I just want to wring their necks. They have no business insinuating or touching her when she does not even like it. And also, Mermaid, I did not make this thread merely to rant, I wanted to find help to cope with all of this. Not hearing, to be perfectly honest, utter crap about how I need to stop having them. How could I when I do not even know where to begin.
  14. You've got to help me before I go completely crazy! My girlfriend of 18 months is studying overseas in the United States and so far I've heard nothing but odd news! Aparantly most of the guys who study at her college are on some form of medication or regularly smoking hashish and marijuana. Others are almost groping her and coming with comments and sexual harrasments. Some guys try to come into her and her friends room saying that they want to smoke hash under their beds...! I don't know what do to because I feel so powerless and she dislikes it there because of all these odd people.. I just don't want them any way near her! I and her friends spouse are going to visit them over christmas and new years eve.. Unfortunately all the other students will have gone home by then, if not, I feel like bashing their heads in. Now, I do not in any way mean to insult any one of you. I do not want to generalize either, because I know that there are A Lot of great american people out there; and I have gotten to know quite a few both here at the forum and via other forms of communication. But why is it so common to eat amphetamine for depression and smoke hash instead of drinking alcohol? And GOD, how can I cope with my violent feelings? (Can tourists buy weapons in America during their stay?)
  15. Hey, CarterJonas. Thank you for your reply. We each have webcam but she hasn't used it as of late. Our relationship has only been long-distance for aproximately one month and she will be over there for nine more months. I did not try to blame her when we discussed this though. I said that I thought we both needed to work on the communication and that I did not feel like I was the one to instigate the lack of communication; yet I took part of the blame but refused to take all of it. Ah well, I'll just have to see how things progress from here.
  16. So, where to start. I am back once again and some of you might remember me. It was not that long ago that I started 'infrequenting' this forum but now life has led me back to it. My girlfriend is studying overseas, namely in America. We have been together for 17 months all-in-all, not counting a break-up over last nov-january. Either way, what made us break up was partly a weakening in communication and part growing away from eachother. Either way, we got together again. But now that she has been away for only a month our communication has begun to drop again. I want to believe that I have tried very hard to talk to her, ask her how her day has been, how she slept, what she's going to do later on and etc, etc. The thing is that she is very busy with studying and all and I respect that. But we can start a conversation but during the conversation she can play neopets or some other online game only to suddenly say that she has to go eat breakfast/lunch/dinner or whatever, coming back three hours later. And never did she ask me under the last days how my days have been and what I have been doing.. Once when this occurred and she came back from dinner she just gave me a quick message and said that she'd be gone with some friends over the weekend.. This of course, led me to become short in my replies and questions so when she finally asked me how I thought our relationship was going, I said that I felt overlooked. She seemed to think that it was all because of me and how I was short with her, saying she could not enjoy herself when I was short.. But is it so bloody strange when she never talks to me? *Sigh*. I told her that I honestly did not think it was because of me but that it was something that we Both needed to work on.. .. And now it feels like she is freezing me out again, just like last year before she dumped me; when we talk and I say something like, "kiss, darling. Love you" she just replies with a "goodbye".. Even on the phone. This is the first 'argument' ever during these 17 months, otherwise we've both been pretty level-headed. So now I don't know quite what to do. I hear that the first fight is always the worst but this being a long-distance relationship, making up is not as easy (I'm back in Sweden, btw). Ah well.. I don't want to make anything more out of this little disagreement but I just want to know what I can do or say because now I feel left out because a triffling matter that I refuse to take full responsibility over. Please help me
  17. Thank you very much, Dear Avman. I have received clarity. *bows down low*
  18. Hey again, members of http://www.enotalone.com. I was curious as to why the body temperature is lowered when you are scared or get the adrenaline pumping? My girlfriend confronted me about our relationship today and my core temperature just seemed to drop radically, almost freezing to death or so it feels. Either way, I was wondering if there are any answers to this phenomenon? Thanks in advance, Akatoro =).
  19. Hullo again, dear fellow members of http://www.enotalone.com. Long time no see! I was curious if anybody has had the same experience that I had last night or if anyone could possibly tell me why it happened.. I went to bed but as I was closing in on sleep when I felt strong feelings of -something- running through my brain. They felt very real and reminded of orgasms as they ran accross the brain. The phenomenon lasted for several minutes and started from the forehead and around to various parts of the head quite fast over and over again. It was truly magnificent. Could it be free-firing neurons or is there some other cause for what happened? I haven't trained any sports for about eight-or-so months and I had not eaten anything irregular and I've just quit smoking. Thanks in advance, Respectfully // Akatoro
  20. Hey there, StandTall. I for one thought you were strong to go and meet her again and actually took a hold of the situation. Whether you know it or not, you did master that situation - you asked her what was going on and so you've been true to yourself. Your nick here is "StandTall" and so I suggest that you live up to it. Keep your chin up because this is where you, as you said, have the ability to try again. Setbacks only tend to make us stronger in the long run.. I'm afraid that I cannot be of much more help, but for what it's worth, I think that you acted appropriatly to the situation. Be well, Respectfully // Akatoro.
  21. My tip is simple.. Become a Swedish *rounder-player, because they can't even catch a cold! Harr, harr.. And if you do not want to become one, you could always try garlic, Vitamin C, rest, vegetable soup or just pure determination. .. I usually feign illness just to be able to skip school and feel somewhat good about myself as I sort of have something to put the blame on. Either way, good luck to you (*simplified game of baseball played drunk) R// Akatoro
  22. What do you mean, "It is annoying to take a crap"? You big liar! It isn't annoying.. I do most of my thinking on my 'throne' and that is where I come up with most solutions for my problems.. Old problems just kind of.. "Drop" and I can "Flush" them out from my mind. And to be a bit more serious, I fully agree with Tinkerbell. It sounds very unhealthy and I would not recommend that diet to anyone. However.. I hear that there are some sort of new pills that take away the urge for sugar. I do not know much about it, but that seems to be about all that it does; a part of something bigger as you won't feel the need for chocolate, coke, candy and etc.. Either way, consult with a doctor before you try anything. (Dieting shouldn't be necessary though.. Those who should eat pills and lose the extra kilos that their narrow-mindedness weighs are those fools who seem to think that overweight is something gross.. )
  23. Hey. sum1umiteno. I am very sorry to hear about your girlfriend. I realise that she is going through something very difficult right now and you have, no doubt, tasted her tears. I am glad that you came out and asked for pointers.. These things are never easy, but I am sure you can atleast get some clarity in yours and her problems at this site. I can understand that you feel helpless concerning her state; My gf used to cry herself to sleep not too long ago and I was at her side... Well, she was inconsolable to say the least and I felt very helpless because there was nothing I could do at that time but share her sadness. I am sure that by now you have concluded that I have no real advice to give you.. I couldn't do anything in that similar situation myself.. But as Rage said.. Just let her know how much she means to you and that whatever she's going through is bothering you as well. If she does not state the reasy why she is doing what she is, you cannot even help her. Tell her that it makes you feel useless.. In a relationship you are supposed to share everything, just like you are sharing your love you must also help eachother out of depression. A small side-note: Goth; I like that style. I may be going out of a limb of narrowmindedness but is it true that a big part of the gothic lifestyle is to wallow in ones own depression? Now I'm not telling you to switch life-styles just like that, but if my question was true, then the chance of fleeing her thoughts of suicide is next to nihil.. The best way to get well, that I've found, is to raise your head high and know that you will always try your damndest to grow as a person. Never ceasing to feel bad about injustice and unfairness is never going to heal you. Raise to the occasion and try to make a difference instead.. .. I've been eating Zoloft anti-depressants.. Because I, too, let the worries of the world weigh my heart and shoulders.. Now I am going to try my damndest to be able to finish school, become a teacher and after that.. (Please pardon my poor grammar, but I cannot come up with the correct word for what I mean to describe).. aid to those who have not had it as easy as I have had.. . This is atleast what I feel like doing now.. Things change and I guess that you can never really know where you'll end up later on. But goals and beacons to lead you through life certainly cannot hurt.. Whatever you choose to do, Sum1, know that I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you and your girlfriend. I wish you all the luck in the world and that your gf soon will come to better thoughts.
  24. Darn? How come mom did not remind me of mothers day.. Hmm.. Better go congratulate her on boring such a bright child!
  25. Hiya, badmotorfinger! I agree with Virus in that you should keep your cool. (Example) Those who can keep a level-head, answer questions calmly and precise are those who are most credible. Someone who screams, cusses and drags up old issues more often than not, seem to be very hotheaded and so he/she probably triggered the event; not even being able to carry a conversation. And talk to your manager again and tell her that your co-worker is bothering the hell out of you. Would you tell your manager that your co-worker makes the job feel like a jail; be sure to point out that you actually do like the job and that it is a pity how is ruining it by doing nothing. Perhaps you could somehow summon the manager when your co-worker is surfing the net or talking on the phone? And by the way.. You're not the only one to dislike people like her Be sure to master this situation, don't crawl away from something that you like just because of that female dog. If it was possible you could perhaps ask your manager to be moved to another desk-mate? Good luck to you anyways and please keep us updated. You're not alone .
  • Create New...