akatoro

Hey, P-Frenchie. I don't know why this is happening.. Friends opinions matter, but in the end it your girlfriends desicion. The best you can do is to assure her that your feelings are true. I, atleast, think that you have the right to know what she is thinking concering your relationship together. What problems she has is not hers alone. They're yours too because you are an important part of her life, just as she is an important part of yours. If she wants a relationship she should be crystal clear of her intentions and feelings with and to you. But don't go accusing her friend because even she has the right to express her opinions. Just as much as you and I do. Tell your gf how you feel and talk it out. It is healthy for a relationship to have discussions because in matters such as these, confusion can easily arise. Avoid confusion and try to come to a mutual agreement, or a way to safely come to know with her feelings. If she does not show her feelings, I suggest talking about it and about Your feelings. Without accusations or insinuations. Just be calm and clear and take it step by step because, as I said earlier, it concerns you too. Good luck, Pal!

Yes, it is definitely worth it! Friends are something you need, and now you have the chance to be a close friend to the woman you love(ed). I can't imagine any better friend because you two already know eachother so well and you've been through so much already. Go for it, but try not to push her away further by jumping down and cling to her legs. Good luck, Razza =)

Uhm.. One time it tasted like iron for me. Was that blood..? And also, I always seem to get a pain in the stomach after I have performed oral sex, why is that?

Hey, pal.. I am deeply sorry for what happened to you today. But.. She does not sound like anyone worthy of anything other than the casual romance.. I have developed a little saying over my short time of being at this forum. It wouldn't surprise me if someone said it before, but this is how -I- feel. This is not the end of the book. Just the end of one chapter. There are a lot of unwritten pages left and it is up to you to fill them. Give it some time, but please exclude your thoughts on ending your life! Instead, take this experience that you've received and put it in your backpack. After a while, give another woman your love and a part of your book, someone who deserves to be loved by you. And take your experiences from this relationship and vow never to hurt anyone as you've been hurt now and before. There are so many people going through what you are now. I was just three weeks ago.. Yesterday evening and this whole day are the first times that I've felt balanced during that time. I am sorry, but I am very tired and so I can't really get into this as much as I would like to and get more personal. I will come back tomorrow and if you still want to talk then; we'll talk as much as you want. I am but a stranger but I'm here to share my experience and try to aid the suffering of those who are now having difficult times. But anyone on this forum would be a good listener. Just hang in there buddy.

Hey. As much as I tried to avoid this subject it just pulled me in after all. I felt I had no experience to share with you and thus just left it alone for your own best. But I read Optimistic's story and I came to think of a relationship that was patched up after a breakup. It was a relationship very close to me, namely.. My Parents! And they're still together and in love too =) Wow, imagine if they had not gotten back together! I wouldn't be here wasting your time . My point is: Anything can happen but whatever you choose to do, is ok. There's something good waiting for you not too far away.

Heh, to be honest. The smell I can live with if I get to show the girl I'm with how much I care about her. Because to me it really is a token of gratification.

Hello, Babymamahr01. I am saddened that the men you have met online run away from you over that reason. It is so dumb that I don't know quite what to think. The feeling is very foreign for me and I can't quite understand it. Every human is an individual and in that, I cannot say that all men are that poor. Now I'm not saying that you think so, but that was my first thought about us men when I heard about your problem. I changed my mind because, well, every human percieves things so very differently and that I disagree with them myself. But you shouldn't despair. Maybe you could try a dating service or have a friend hook you up with some pal of theirs?

Ahoy hoy, Alexis100. You have a tough choice ahead of you . Keep in mind that he is older than you. It's not a problem for either of you, it would seem. But he has had six years more worth of experience and if you were to end up, can you safely say that you won't look back and wish you had experimented some more? Of course not if you love him as much then as you do now. But adjusting your future after his? Can you safely say that you won't regret having went to a potentially better school but did not because of the distance that would have come between the two of you? There are a lot of things to take into consideration. However, this is a fine chance to experiment a little by yourself. Maybe he really is the right guy for you and if you feel like he is, then go for it! If it still does not work out, you can always pick up where you left off and do what your heart tells you next. Everyonce in a while, life throws you treats. And I suspect it won't stop doing that either. In the end it is up to you, because you are the one who has to live with your decision. I hope that you will discover what you feel is right and that you'll heed that discovery. Strive to make your backpack heavy Good luck! \

When I was depressed, I took pills and I tried working out in a gym. However, the gym did not help me so I picked up boxing which helped me quite a lot. But as I still had much spare time I picked up Hung Gar Kung Fu and I really learnt how to use my body. It is true what they say, martial art increases both your physical strength and psych-strength. Give it a try, it keeps your mind busy. And you don't even have to fight, you could always study form.

Oi, Whitefang. Nice avatar, .hack//SIGN is a good anime.. May I ask what "He tried on"? Did he hit on her or hit her? .. I know exactly what you are experiencing. This weekend I had a party here at my aparment and the friend I have known for 17 years is totally different and treating his girlfriend of 2½ years like crap. I talked to him.. Having known him for so long enabled the discussion to stay within certain boundaries and not pass the line. Say it, right out, that you think that he is wrong in what he's doing.

Lights. When I mentioned that "giving her time" could be a solution, I ment so far as to let her sort her emotions out. Talking with you could actually help and ease her stress. You don't have to be with her physically, just being with her in her heart and talking with her over the phone means a lot. She does care about you and that is why she is telling you about her feelings. She can confide in you and that means a lot to her, and to you too I am sure. You have every right to be confused, life is very confusing some times.. But consider this. Would she be confused over her alternatives and guilty over your feelings if she did not like you?

Thank you, Lights And good luck to you too, I've read and scribbled a few lines down on your thread as well

I think it means that: 1 Once you've gotten to know yourself and how you work, you can relate to another person in such a way that you can share far more than you could with any "basic" friend. 2 I believe this because the one you love is the one you're going to be most intimate with, know how he or she works, and do your best to always make him or her feel good and after that, even better. Loving yourself and thus knowing yourself so good that you're secure in your person you can, by the aid of your beloved, experience even greater feelings than you first thought was possible. And 3 I love myself and eventhough I am very shy around women before I get to know them, I like to think that what I've written above is a good way to achieve a good relationship.

New situations are often scary. Even if it turns out to be a nice one it can take you off-guard and completely overwhelm you. I am sorry to say that it seems to me like he is having problems trusting you. Or that he is so insecure in himself that he does not know what to think. Either way, none of those reasons are an excuse for what is going on. Maybe he has had bad experiences in the past or as you said, having had a childhood which spoiled him to such an extent that he thinks everything is revolving around him. The best thing, when he comes to speaking terms, is to explain "equality" to him, if you believe in what I said earlier, and that it takes two to work a relationship. I mentioned earlier that I have a little demon called jealousy biting my heels. In my case I guess it was fair because I had felt her pulling away from me spending more time with other men, but I still sought help. One week later we broke up but just because I don't feel any jealousy towards anyone now, doesn't mean I've stopped the treatment. Because that demon can really spoil a lot of wonderful things in a relationship. I have only just partly de-fanged it.. It is well worth it I might add. Not only do I feel better, but I know that any future girl won't have to live through what you are just now. I really, really, really hope that it works out for you grrl. And I am not here to form your opinion. I am merely here to offer some advice. Hopefully it is good, but I don't want to tell you what to do and what not to do. A relationship is something you build on. It doesn't come the first day you're together. Communication is an importent component in this strange mixture. But.. Isn't it weird how things like these can make a relationship stronger?

While I agree with Charmed concering presents and time, I feel that it is also considerate to show that you have not forgotten about her completely. A present is a bit much I agree.. But a card is always nice. You don't have to write anything fancy on it either. Just say that you think of her in this holiday or birthday and that you wish her the very best. Don't act like you want her back, but not because it is a bullet-proof plan to get her back.. Merely because, well, you've been through a lot together and that chapter has been written. It is but the end of one chapter - the book continues and maybe she'll have a small role to play in it? Give it some time, don't shut her out completely. Friends are good to have and who could be better than the one who you have spent so much time with and who you have trusted so much. You can talk about a lot when you come over your feelings. Good luck, pal.

Scarlette, I am very sorry for my poor experiences in matters such as these. Love is a wonderful thing but trust comes with it. Do not apologize so much because it will probably only make him feel more at right. He is not right because he's treating you like air for enjoying yourself when he specifically told you that it was OK. These things are best to talk about in person and not over phone or e-mail. If he still does not want to talk when he gets home, I say you pass him a letter saying something like, "If we did not know words we would not be able to communicate verbally, something you asked yourself yesterday. I guess this goes to show that you can just choose not to speak or talk about it to make yourself feel better and get rid of the hurt. In the end it seems that your choice and will is stronger than the feelings you share with me. If you still feel that way I guess we could start a relationship in which we only make ourselves heard by body language and eye movements. But then how much misinterpretation do you think would take place? Far more than now. I'm tired of feeling sad because of your lack of trust in me. I love you so much, but I don't feel very loved right now." -> And leave a space for him to write on further down the paper and stick the pencil into his hand. This is prolly not a very good idea either.. There's a very large chance he will get even more angry.. God I don't know what I can say, I just wish I could help you in this. I've always relied on communication but that doesn't seem to work here. You will find the power to overcome this, I am sure of it. And I am sorry that I am unable to help you in your time of need

Greetings. I understand your problem and how you are willing to convert to christianity for her sake. I consider myself to be religious as well and for the record, I'm protestant. But I believe in my own interpretation of God and heaven and all that comes with it. That is besides the point and that is why I'm ending it here =). But as a buddhist you do not have to pretend to be interested in another religion and feeling fake when reading through the bible. Atleast that is what my memory from my religion classes tell me. A buddhist knows the other religions and respects them for what they are, even if they do not believe in them. I can understand that you want to be on the good side with her father. Who wouldn't, it is a very important thing to do. But do you perhaps think that you could discuss buddhism contra catholism with him, or is her very conservative? Giving up your own belief just to look good in his eyes is, as you said, lying to yourself and making an unnessecary sacrifice. And a very large one at that. People should be respected for what they are and not forced into a belief. I doubt that God would like that very much. Catholism is a religion which is followed by oh so many humans, but buddhism.. Isn't buddhism more like an opinion and teaching of what one man once pondered about. Buddha is not considered a god I believe. Purely a man who some followed and a philosophy who grew bigger as time passed by. Thus being a buddhist isn't really going against God, right? But then again, I am not certain about this and I could very well be wrong. I'm saddened that such a thing as religion was near to ending it between you and your lady. It shouldn't because religion is a thing that connects people instead of driving them apart. Love was gifted to man from God, says the bible, and love is what you and your lady are experiencing. How can anything be wrong if you two do not agree religion-wise on certain aspects? Love is still there and aparantly it is very strong since you are seemingly willing to go to extreme measures in spending your days with her =) I wish you all the best of luck and that everything will be solved without any pain . Goodbye and good luck =)

Hey, Scarlette. I think that it was wrong of him to say one thing and act the opposite afterwards. .. I.. tend to get jealous quite easily. Atleast easily judging by what I know are other peoples standards. But I've always managed to talk it out and I've even sought help for it because in the end it is not only concerning me. It is concerning both parts as you've no doubt found out. Because it can't be easy for you. Feelings are divided equally in a relationship and what affects and/or saddens one often tends to sadden the other. A relationship needs "equality" and to achieve that, the best way is to talk it out and really prove to him that you love him and that you would never do anything to hurt him. But that he needs to be clear in his Okay's and Do not's. Even if you don't think you have any need to prove it because it really is his fault, try to look at it from his perspective in order to level out with him and thus maintain equality. This is only what I would try to do.. And it is easy for me to say because I don't know anything about your relationship and personalities. But that equality is something I'm trying to strive for even within myself. Good luck to you, I hope it works out for both your bests. Happy love love =)

Hey there. I found my now exgf to be very attractive eventhough we had only met over the IT at first. When we first met in RealLife it was instant attraction from both parts but sadly her attraction for me faded after 11 months of relationship and thus we broke up as friends. Attraction is something absolute in a relationship for me. I can't imagine being together with someone strictly because it's practical in one way or the other. But have you not found that attraction can grow from getting to know a person more and more? Is there absolutely no feeling similar to attraction between you and your man? I thought that attraction was the foundation that feelings of love grows from. If you are attracted to a person, he or she should come to mean a lot for you.. In short, what is love without attraction? What is it that you are missing in your marriage? Are you longing for something special at all? It would be nice with answers to those questions seeing as there are a lot of aspects to take into consideration. What affection is for you might not have the same meaning as it does for me =) Good luck and I hope to hear from you later =)

Hello! May I ask how the universal or most common datingsystem works? I've only dated one girl who turned out to become my gf (now ex). We had known eachother two months prior to that date, but we held hands and kissed throughout the movie for the first time ever. Then on the way to the busstop we made-out-goodbye. Then the two days after that I visited her to watch movies with her. And then on the third day we had sex, it was great and also my first time. She was four years older than me as well which I bragged a lot about =P So.. uh.. I see some people speaking of "having dated for 16" months. In order for me to fully understand and be able to spill my thoughts in such a note, I guess I need to understand the true meaning of it. Does it mean that they've dated for 16 months without having sex? Or that they've been together in a relationship? Because when I hear "we've dated" I think of innocent kisses and dinner at restaurants/going to the movies/minigolfing etc. Please explain this to a stupid ninny =)

Congratulations, stud! Maybe a little more foreplay could do the trick? Or some sort of lubricant if that is what is needed. She could be really tense as well so just lying and cuddling without clothes for a couple of times could be a good idea. To get comfortable in being naked together that is. And a word of caution: Wait 'till things get better before doing it doggy-style. Good luck!

Hi, Christie. I.. feel quite biased in giving you advice in this matter. It is after all how you feel and don't want to tell you how you should feel. All I can say is that we are all human and no one deserves to be put down. No one deserves to be controlled either, especially not if you want to move on with your life. But speaking about humans and their instinct; Pride is something we often feel. Were you the one to dump her? If so, maybe she feels hurt but does not want to show you so. Friends of mine would rather die than to let their ex know how much they miss(ed) them and still love(d) them.. I'm afraid I'll have to go with my basic saying: Talk it out, if you can, and explain how it makes you feel when she repeatedly comes into your life on such a basis. But don't be cold if the feeling does not call for it, try to be understanding and "objective", if you will, that will make what she says more understandable. Good luck, Christie.

Hello, LightsDimming. It's not nice when these things happen.. And I have no good advice for you either, I'm afraid. All I can say is that I feel for you and that leaving her alone for a while could help her find the "right" path. I hope that you two can stay together because it sounds like a wonderful relationship, not taking the recent problems under consideration. But the lines on the road won't disappear just because it's long and bumpy Good luck, Lights.

Hullo, Thatboy_e. I feel sorry about you and your girlfriend. Me and my girlfriend of 11months broke up three weeks ago and I've been crying each day since. We talked yesterday and we were able to joke and laugh with eachother going through what we've lived for the past weeks. Is there no chance that you two can still be friends? Just take some time off, do not contact her for a week. Stay alone or with friends that you can speak to. I pondered on and off about my own subject.. And I've come to a conclusion that feels very good now. The important thing is that you give it some time off for now. Then you can contact her. If she wants to talk, then talk and be honest. However, try not to ask her to get back together again. I feel that might drive her further away. Me and my gf have known each other for 14months all in all.. And you've been together for over two years. If you decide on staying friends... You'll have the best friend you'll ever find. All that you have been through.. being able to relax and just talk about everything with. I really think that it is going to be worth it in the end.. Hurt will come if you do this.. But hurt and sadness will come either way sooner or later, and when that does happen, you can talk about it together. It takes time, it shouldn't be over in two weeks.. I hope that you can come up with a suitable solution, pal. It will feel hard to even consider being friends.. I know this first hand. But think about the future.

Oi lah. I disagree with what some people said about "threesomes" or girl-on-girl. I see no difference between a woman and a man would my girlfriend make out with her. (now I don't have a gf for the time being, but the experience should suffice) It is intimate, and as far as I'm concerned, I am the only one she should be intimate with. Same goes for me.. I actually tried to ward off girls hugging me even when she wasn't there.. I guess that's just me. Oh well, to get to the point: I just love it when she puts her head on your shoulder, or when you're lying in bed and she lays her head on your chest. Otherwise I believe that oral sex is very special (even without climaxing). I don't know how you and your boyfriend are in public, but my heart always pumped faster when she openly showed her feelings for me. I just feel that if you propose an idea about letting another girl in on the side whilst you're in bed.. You should be sure that he is in on it and does not misinterpret the situation thinking that he alone is not able to satisfy you. And always bare in mind that if you take in another girl, he might want another man the next time. Or even if you want to have another man the next time and he doesn't, you'd still have a hold on him since "that time when you invited a girl for him". Things could get really ugly. But good luck to you, I hope you'll come up with something nice =)