JustaFool

My reflection in the mirror, was that of only you, My heart was a jewel you kept locked up Somewhere along the way you threw away the key Leaving me stranded with wasted thoughts of you The lock has since rusted with no hope of being opened again A cold heart brought my entire world to its knees The lock writhes in agony yearning to be open You are the bridge from which I jump Falling into a continuous downward spiral into the bowels of hell Thanks to you, I am now complacent with hate God can't help, God won't help... Why would a sadistic b@stard like that even allow you to be born You are the rope from which I hang Void of emotion, void of life, void of love My broken heart scattered on the floor for maggots to consume You are the bullet in the gun, waiting in place, To do the only job you were created to do...destroy I let you inside my soul, where you spread like a cancer Leaving pain and hate where love and joy once resided You went, by your own free will, from someone I loved To someone I used to know It's so wrong of me to love you You, my dear, are the one who in my heart I love but in my mind I hate One day, maggots will consume your broken heart too They will swallow it whole..I hope it's because of me. F.u.c.k you for making me hate...I'll see you in hell How much hate and malice can one contain You're too blind to see I'm filled to capacity Not even the warmest sun could thaw your heart of ice You are as souless as Lucifer, yet a shade more spiteful My entire existence is trapped in purgatory With nothing left but your face emblazoned in my mind It's been said that hell is repetition That's why I must continue to hate For every time I see your face I take one step closer to leaving this purgatory And entering the hell you have made for me.

Man, pull yourself together. Let me ask you something. Are you dating her now? No! You don't have anything to lose. If I can give you one bit of advice, women like confidence. Not cockiness...confidence. When you ask her out and she says yes, don't act surprised. If she says no, don't act surprised. Just remember...if she says no, you have to accept her decision and not dislike her because of it. Good luck.

Here's the deal. Can you control whether or not she sees other guys? NO! Tell yourself that you will only concern yourself with issues that you can have an effect on. Do what I do, when I heard my ex was seeing someone. Laugh to yourself, and say, "She can try all she wants, but she's never gonna find another (Put your name here!)" Don't think for one second that she isn't looking at him and comparing everything he says and does to you. My ex confessed that she did this. It's human nature. Take a step back and let her see how "great" this guy really is. Man, get out there and date! No strings attached dates. You're not looking for marriage, just dinner or a few drinks! That is one way to make her rethink. Women can't control jealousy, especially when it comes to competition with another female.

This is a tough one. What I did was this. I know that I love her, but by forcing myself to try to move on, you wake up one day and realize you ARE moving on. I, of course, still have hope that we can work things out, however, it's not in my hands. She has to sort things out in her own mind(which she seems to be trying to do) Believe that you are not a worthless piece of crap and there are plenty of women out there who would love to share your company. No guy is going to step in and take over where you left off. I don't care who he is. I learned all this through my therapist. She helped me understand more than anyone will ever know. See, it's not that I told myself that it was over forever...I just decided to keep hope and faith but to let the pain go. By letting just the pain go, your mind is not clouded by emotion. You can think like a man and not be a puddle on the floor. My ex did the same thing weeks ago that yours is. It sounds terrible, but she calls you when she misses you, but once you respond in the way she expects, she gets her "fix" and is ok for another few days. If you need any help I will be glad to offer anything I can do.

I was in the same situation most of you are dealing with right now. Pain, desperation, and a huge desire to get back your ex who broke your heart. Notice, I say I WAS in the same situation. Things are different now. I have advice for anyone trying to get their ex back: 1) Stop ALL contact. If they contact you, do not respond, do not answer the phone, etc. It's the hardest thing you will have to do, but you HAVE TO. Don't be afraid that they will not contact you. THEY WILL! 2) Force yourself to go out and try to have fun. Go places where people will see you. Date other people.(I know, I know, you don't want to) Jealousy is one emotion that people can't control very well. Once your ex gets wind of you dating someone else, they will be forced to remember what they originally saw in you. They will begin to dislike the fact that someone else may be getting what they once had. 3) Remember that this will take time. Things are not going to fall into place in a couple of days. (my situation took two months) Just for some help I'll tell you a little about my own situation and how I was dealing: First couple of weeks I did the begging, pleading, etc. IT DOES NOT WORK! I went to see a therapist, which was the best move I ever. They helped me deal with issues so I would not carry them into a relationship with her or someone else. I had no contact for three weeks. The other night, I get a text message from her out of the blue that she heard a song on the radio(My Immortal by Evanescence) and she thought of me and she cried. I stayed strong and did not respond. Yesterday, she sends me an IM saying how the song made her think and that it knocked her walls down and she thinks about me all the time and misses me. She never said she missed me in the last two months. I didn't respond. Last night around midnight I was coming out of a gas station and was walking back to my car. Guess who was parked in the space next to me. The ex. She said that she saw me pull in and she stopped. We sat in the car and talked for about twenty minutes. I kept the conversation calm and upbeat, smiled alot, etc. She told me emotional things, although she didn't want to seem too emotional. "I think about you, miss you, still love you, etc." "So much reminds me of you." Realize that this girl that is sitting in the car with tears in her eyes is the same one that two months ago couldn't care if I lived or died. I kept my responses honest but not mushy. Example, "I miss you too, but ya know, it gets easier." I almost felt as though I was counseling her! I ended the conversation by saying that it was late and I needed to go. She asked for a hug goodbye and almost choked the life out of me. She didn't want to let go. See, where I stand now is here...Yes, the ball is still in her court to initiate contact, however I will be receptive to it. I am now in a situation where at first she had all the control. She is slowly losing it. At this point, I still love her more than anything, but to be honest, I don't know if I WANT HER BACK. I guess we'll have to see what happens. But for right now...I'm in control of my decisions and when the time comes I will be able to make a rational decision. One last thing, don't worry about someone else coming into your ex's life. My ex dates guys, but guess what, who is she still crying over? ME! Have faith..listen to my words and believe.

It's biology, man. You said you were never in a gym before. The first thing you should be concerned with is mastering correct form when doing your reps. You have to remember that you are using certain motions and muscles that you probably have never stressed before. Also, your ligaments and tendons need to stretch and strenghthen before you can start lifting heavy. It takes time, why do you think every guy walking down the street isn't ripped and huge? It takes discipline and determination. Stick with it and in 2 or three months you will see a big difference.

Sounds to me like he is still trying to come to terms with his last relationship. He may not want anyone to care about him or love him because he may be afraid that he will get his heart ripped out again. I am in the same situation right now. On a positive note, what you can do, is be there for him, listen to him, give him unbiased advice. If he has feelings for you, he can't stop it...it will happen. But first, it sounds like he has to get rid of the demons in his head(and heart) concerning his last relationship. Hope this helps

That's some of the weirdest sh*t I ever heard. At the gym I go to, there are showers, but I think the only people that use them are people that go to workout before work or maybe if they are in a hurry to go somewhere. By the way...are you sure those guys aren't taking showers TOGETHER? Ha ha ha!!!

Does anyone have any stories about getting back together with their ex? I'm just looking for a ray of hope for my own situation. Please let me know what strategy you used as well as what worked and what didn't.

Thanks for the input, but you failed to answer one of my questions. Why is she so concerned with what I think of her and why does she make it a point to let me know that she's not out partying and hooking up with other guys. Like she said about her "date" that was just a friend(she paid her own way and there was no physical contact). Her words: "All I do is work and go to school...that's it." Right after our breakup I told her that if she broke up with me and then was with someone else, I could never be with her again. Do you think that's playing on her mind? Also, what do I do if she calls, texts, or IM's me? She texted me last night asking how one of my family members was feeling and I did not respond.

My ex broke up with me on October 14th. For the full story you can search JustaFool. I'm 24 and she's 19. Our relationship of a year and a half was the best part of my life. The last month was terrible though. She works 2 jobs and is a very demanding academic program. I was always competing for her time. She broke up with me because she said I did not support her. Anyway, that's all in my last post. Recently, she believes that people are saying bad things about her to me. She call the other night crying that she didn't do anything, hook up with anyone, etc. She said all she does is work and go to school. I told her I changed and that things could be very different. She said, "I'd give you two weeks and things would go back to being the way they were." She was very concerned that I believed what someone said about her. I don't believe what those people said. Also, I was invited to a wedding this weekend by an exgirlfriend from college. She lives 5 hrs. away. My recent ex went to school 5 hrs away for a semester and I only went to see her out there once. She drove home every weekend. Anyway, when I told her that I might go out and go to that wedding, she freaked. She was upset because I never went out to see her, but I would drive out to go to this wedding. Of course, I'm not going to the wedding, and I made that clear to her, but she said that it hurt her that I would even consider it. Believe me, I never even considered it. I told her I was not going. She screamed and cried and told me she hated me. Two hours later she texted me saying, "I'm so sorry about my outburst before. I lied. I don't hate you. I'm just hurt." She keeps saying that she can't be with me "right now" because she's so hurt about everything. The outburst happened two days ago. I have had no contact since. She also told me that she went out on a "date" as friends and she paid her own way and there was no physical contact at all. Why would she be so concerned that I know she has not been with anyone else and that she is not partying and stuff. She always makes it a point to let me know that she studies and goes to work all the time. Why is she so concerned with what I think. I'm not initiating the contact either. We have had none in 2 days. Any advice on this like what I should do, shouldn't do, or what she's thinking? I love this girl more than anything and I want nothing more than for us to be together. I know space is the best option here. It's just that the hurt is there every morning when I wake up and it clings to me until I go to sleep at night. I pray to God that she sees what we could have before its too late.

Just a little idea that helps me cope. I hope it helps.... "No girl is worth your tears...and the one that is, won't ever make you cry."

Bud, I am going throught the same thing right now only it has been going on for 2 1/2 weeks. We ARE over. Your relationship IS over. You're right...this is the worst feeling in the world. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. I have been wondering for two weeks how this girl who cared about me so much could be such a bitch and be so cold hearted. Man, that is the way some women are. The sooner you (and I) realize this the better off we will be. Time does heal all wounds...at least that's what I've been told. For now, worry about yourself. P.S. To all you women out there who wonder why men are pricks....it's because somewhere along the line some cold-hearted bitch ripped out everything good we had inside.

I do not believe the letter had an effect because it did not work - meaning she said she could not give me another chance. She told someone a week after we broke up..."He doesn't care about me. I had a major test today and he didn't even call to see how i did" The person she was talking to responded, "I thought you told him not to call you." She had no response. I understand that right now she thinks the grass is greener on the other side. We all need to experience things. Being 24, I already had my college years. I just don't know why if she loves me so much she can't be with me and experience it. People do it all the time. Last night I sent her a text message on her cell saying that i hoped her statistics exam went well yesterday(different test than the one mentioned above). She wrote back "Thanks for caring about asking me about my test." We texted back and forth a few more times about her sickly grandmother. The she wrote, "well sweetdreams, have a good night." I didn't write back. Do i have a chance with this girl if i give her space for 3 or 4 weeks?

i did write her a very intimate letter saying how sorry i was, how i changed and how much i love her. It also said that all i wanted was one last chance. It apparently did not have the desired effect.