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secret_agent_man

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Everything posted by secret_agent_man

  1. secret_agent_man
    I say go for it. The age difference isn't much, you're right. If the school issue is worth dealing with, then everything could still work out. Give it a shot, especially if you feel so strongly... don't miss an opportunity!!! (it sort of sounds like you already know what to do, so I'll encourage you, if that's all you're waiting for!) Good Luck! S.A.M.
  2. secret_agent_man
    I say go with the flow, but cut back on the conversations for now. If you talk to her up to twice a day on the phone, you're gonna get talked out right now. That's why you're forced to talk about insecurities. Relax and when conversations die, get off the phone. If all she can remember is that you had nothing to say, she's gonna' get bored. You can't blame her for that. You also don't need to talk that much. Go out, and experience things together. Movies are great for not talking! Just because you don't have much to say, doesn't mean you can't have a great time in your relationship. S.A.M.
  3. secret_agent_man
    That is hard, because it seems like everything else is so good for you. It's sad to see something like this. I'm glad you have re-discussed this with him, but I think that's all you can do. You don't want to force him to, and you feel a child would complete you. It's a fair argument for both sides. Just remember, whatever choice you make, some things happen for a reason. Maybe you really wouldn't like a child later, and he was the best influence for you. Or maybe you would, and you'll end up finding someone else even better to share that with. I don't want to tell you that he might change his mind, because he sounds pretty sure of it for now. He is old enough and mature enough at this point to know if he really wants a child, so he may never change his mind. Think about it a lot before you do anything, it's a very important decision. He sounds like he would be willing to discuss this more, so just keep talking. Maybe you can find some deep reason that he feels that way, and maybe you could work on it... Or maybe you have something underlying that makes you think you want a child when you really don't. I find that one hard to believe, seeing that it's obviously very common and natural for a woman to want to be a mother. I guess I just talked in a circle again, sorry. Anyone wanna help me here??? S.A.M.
  4. secret_agent_man
    Hmmm, I would try giving him one on his stomach first, you might put him in an awkward position if you plant one on his neck right away, especially if you do it wrong, it'll be bright as a tomato!!! I guess, the best way to describe it is to suck on the skin, it's not like a really hard suck, but hard enough to pull it up a little bit, and hold that for a little while, 30 seconds or so. It pulls the blood to the surface, sort of like an un-painful bruise. try it a couple times in a place where it'll be normally covered until you get the hang of it. Then, beware because the skin on the neck is probably going to hickey a lot quicker, so start small!!! Yea, most guys like when people notice that he's had a girl crawling on him, so it's fun to show off some times!!! The only time it's annoying is if you work in an office or a real professional environment, people will probably rag on you a little bit, but it's still fun! Good luck and have fun!!! it's fun to try to get a good one!!! S.A.M.
  5. secret_agent_man
    I know it seems perfect, but if she's not into it, there's nothing you can do. You need to both want it to have it work. Just because you'd be a "cute couple" doesn't mean it would work... keep that in mind. If she wants you to get over her, you have to respect that. Sorry man, you could keep trying, but don't expect that she's gonna' change her mind. Keep your head up, you've got a long way ahead of you and plenty of chances lie ahead. S.A.M.
  6. secret_agent_man
    Ha ha! Good call, Colls. I know EXACTLY what you mean about meaningless talk. There's always something to say!!! LOL S.A.M.
  7. secret_agent_man
    Yup, I must agree, stay out of that one... too many times, that ends up horribly... Ughhhh S.A.M.
  8. secret_agent_man
    Yea, believe it or not, my mom sent it to me!!! S.A.M.
  9. secret_agent_man
    I dunno, try this one maybe (you know her, don't send it unless she'd laugh!!!) ------------------------- Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive young blonde woman arrived and bet $20,000.00 on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Mama needs new clothes!" Then she hollered..."YES! YES! I WON!" She jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers. She then picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed. The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know I thought YOU were watching!" Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men!!! -------------------------
  10. secret_agent_man
    Sounds to me like you really need to let go. It just seems not to be working out. I don't know what more there could be, but from your lack of feelings, I'd suck it up and break it off. It doesn't mean it's forever, but I'd bet on it for now. That's just my opinion, though. Good Luck 8) S.A.M.
  11. secret_agent_man
    Man oh man I wish I could help ya, I've been in a relationship so long I don't even know what I would say on that first date. Just be yourself and I'm sure things will go fine. Talk about what you're interested in, and ask her what she's into. (hopefully she'll say... "you!") S.A.M.
  12. secret_agent_man
    Yea, I guess for your sake, I understand your hesitation. It sucks knowing you should help but being cautious about getting involved. I really just wish someone could help the poor girl S.A.M.
  13. secret_agent_man
    It sounds like a crush she was afraid to talk about. You really need to contact her and tell her how you feel. Tell her everything you told us. She may feel exactly the same way but it's hard to be the one to admit that... Try talking, what have you got to loose? At least you'll know what she's thinking. (hopefully)
  14. secret_agent_man
    Yea, I see the predicament. I think you should be glad he admitted it at all. If he didn't care about you, he'd probably be able to get away with it and never tell anyone else. You have to look at why he told you. He probably didn't tell you because he was afraid you'd find out, but more likely from the story you gave, he felt aweful, and was afraid to tell you. I'm sure it was a scary time for him. There's a lot of unknowns there. I cheated once and I did the same thing because I couldn't live with myself. I learned a lot about myself and It ended up working out very well for us. She trusted me more afterwards for the fact that I could be honest. I made a mistake, and that mistake was; getting out of control at a party. I let myself get too drunk to the point where I barely remember it. I knew I couldn't hide behind the booze lie, because it's no excuse. So I told her everything. Just be glad he believed enough in your relationship and told you. It's your choice what to do in your situation, but just please see that side of it. I am really glad I got that chance. Now, I feel more in control, because I learned so much about myself. It's definitely not in my nature to do anything like that, but now I realize I'm human, and I make mistakes. I know how to prevent things like this from happening again. And I also never want to feel that horrible again. I'm sure he would agree at this point. S.A.M.
  15. secret_agent_man
    Hey, I'm in the same boat as well. People have responded to my similar situation in my thread: link removed It's really tough, I know. Just keep on keepin' on. Hope my problems can help someone else, too... S.A.M
  16. secret_agent_man
    HAHAHAHA! Wow, what a thought. Yea, like they said, as long as he's cool with it, there's nothing weird, at least he knows you like his pecker enogh to name it!
  17. secret_agent_man
    Geez, something does need to be done. If you are the only one who knows, then yes, he might know you did it and think it was out of spite. Personally, I think I would call someone, if not the police, just a counsellor or someone in the psych field who can direct you on your path... Really something should be done to help the 13 year old more than punish the 18 year old, even though something should be done for him as well (I'd like to give him a good lesson). The young girl involved is screwing up her life WAY more than she realizes. Hope it works out for the best, and we don't see them on the day-time talk shows...
  18. secret_agent_man
    You have to do what is right for you. You seem caught up in the ex's emotions, and seem like you want to give him a chance for his sake more than yours. On the other hand, the new boyfriend is still new, and that can fade with time. I see why you are stuck. My best advice would be not to do either right now. I know it would be tough, it's nice to have security, but maybe you should take some time for YOU and let your mind decide without being directly in contact with either guy. If I were you, I would definitely not accept an engagement until I was sure that I wanted to do it. Marriage is not something you should want to do twice, so try to be sure. If you are unsure, don't be pressured by yourself or anyone else to jump to a decision. You could really regret it later. It's just going to be a real hard thinking time. Keep coming to this board and discussing your thoughts, the people here can really help with a lot, and ease your mind. Good luck!
  19. secret_agent_man
    I guess my advice would be... Make sure before you get back together, you've really given it enough time to grow. It could be years, but it's hard to say. Make sure before you jump back into it, you really discuss what you want, and stare as far into the future as you can. Don't be blinded by love, really think about what you want in your life. It's a really hard thing to do, trust me. Just talk and force it to happen slowly, as to not get caught up. Make sure in this time apart, you really let yourself get over him as much as you can. Just because you are over him doesn't mean you can never be with him again, but it might be more true love later if you are over him and can fall in love all over again. You should really see other people and live your life. Don't keep yourself from serious relationships in hopes that he will come back, just let yourself go with the flow. New things can be better than you can imagine right now. Hope this helps a bit, Let me know if you need anything else...
  20. secret_agent_man
    At that age, he might be telling you the exact truth (Edit: by this I mean he probably does need space, and he knows before he commits or makes you commit, you guys need to mature on your own). It sounds as though your second idea was probably more likely, that he was wanting to keep things open for the future. Try to look at it positively. Live your own life and maybe fate will bring you back together. Who knows! Just let your life flow and take it's own path. Don't try to cling to something that might hold you back. You don't really have to wait at all. Wait until you're comfortable. HE needed space. He didn't ask you to wait for him, that's why I think he's telling the truth about how he feels. He knows you need to live your life. If in the future you meet again, then re-evaluate the situation. It may be completely different next time around, or in the mean time, you may find someone you care for just as much or even more! Don't hold a defeatist attitude about it. Let yourself do what you know is right.
  21. secret_agent_man
    Wow, what a thought. Don't forget that one.
  22. secret_agent_man
    Yes, you may want to just leave the situation. Never claim responsibility for someone elses life. If it feels like too much, maybe it is... and you may have to let go completely. It's hard, but it's a part of life. But, If you do want to stay in her life, it sounds like you're doing just about all you can do. Be there for her, and help her when she needs it. She probably won't let you in or is scared to because of what rubbed off from her mom. The fact that her dad left when she was so young has a huge impact on her relationships. It creates a trust issue and she'll probably push at you to steer herself clear of risking the same situation her mom was in. Just be there as much as you can, she may eventually let you in, and she probably needs someone stable like you around. If she does open up, she'll be very thankful for all of your efforts, trust in that. Hard work does pay off, especially when it's something like this. Just don't do it unless you are sure you can handle it. Hang in.
  23. secret_agent_man
    Bryan, Realize that it's sort of a natural thing. Your dreams come from your subconscious, and she's going to be stuck in there for quite some time. That's just how it goes. You can't forget sometimes. I'm sorry to hear of your break up, but realize that it's for the best. I know youv'e heard it before, but it's the truth. She fell out of love with you, and that can happen, but it's better that she realized it and didn't make her own life unhappy by being where she didn't want to be. The dreams are probably gonna hang around, but it means that you're still angry or confused. Not necissarily at her or him, but at the situation. Try to remember all the good things, and how much your experience with her changed your life. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger... The best approach to getting over things is to keep your friends close. Spend a lot of time with the ones you really know and care about. They always give you what you need. Let them take you out at night and have a good time. Although your relationship has ended, realize that she does want you to be happy. You're allowed to be. Take time for you, and trust that you dont NEED her to complete you. Good luck.
  24. secret_agent_man
    Well said! 8)
  25. secret_agent_man
    It's a wonderful thing for you to do this for your friend, remember that. Too many people let these things slide as to not ruin a friendship, when in actuality, it can make the friendship worlds better, not to mention saving lives. You are a great person for wanting to stand up to your friend. Just be there for her. Realize that there IS a lot you can do yourself, but you must not take on too much responsibility. It can be hard. Seek help from professionals, as well as being a friend. It's really important to keep trying, but never to let it destroy YOU. Another thing to never forget, is that she needs to see the benefits of stopping the drug use before she can really make a change. She has to want to do this, so focus on getting her to realize what it did to her friend, and that you care about her and don't want her to end up the same way. Then, try to get her to care about herself, so SHE doesn't want herself to end up the same way. It's baby steps sometimes, but you wouldn't be walking right now if you never took those first little steps.
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