beckieh

I know how you feel, I've just recently been through a breakup after 8 years! We were not married but I feel like I'm going through a divorce. I know that things are tough for you right now and believe me, you will have good days and bad days. I have had a few weeks where I've cried everyday at some point. However, I realized this morning I haven't cried for two days straight! My point is, you will have good days and bad days, and you need to give yourself time to heal. It's so hard sometimes but remember, you're not alone. It's definitely important to keep yourself busy and go on with your life. I know it's difficult to get motivated to do anything it seems, but you will feel better if you charge onward and upward. These are the things I keep telling myself - and if it's meant to be you and he will be together in the end. Wouldn't it be nice if we all had a crystal ball?! Hang in there and remember that you are not alone!

Hi there. Two weeks isn't very long at all, but I think it's possibly long enough to know if there is any chemistry there at all. If there is not, that's okay, give yourself a break. I'm also not sure if you're over the love that you lost three months ago. That is such a hard thing to go through but hopefully you learned something from that relationship about yourself - and it sounds like you have. It does sound like you're worrying about what went wrong in your past relationship versus what's happening in your current relationship. If you like this girl, keep talking but don't push yourselves together. If there is chemistry it will show through. Maybe try talking to her a little less often (every other day instead of every day) or just call to say goodnight - it will give you more to talk about during those first few weeks of what can be awkward conversations. As far as your insecurities go, just take them one step at a time - everyone has insecurities, believe me! If this girl is worth your time, she'll be understanding, but just don't be in such a rush, have a little fun, that's what dating is for, right?! You're very well spoken so that is a positive thing you have going for you - good communication and that is a big step ahead of a lot of guys I know! Good luck!

I have been in a loving and caring relationship for the past eight years. We have always known each others views about having children but I guess we always thought the other one would change their mind when the time came. I was 21 when we first started dating and he was 30. Obviously at 21, my mind was not on having children or getting married at that point. Our relationship just grew stronger as we both changed and grew as individuals and and as a couple. He is my bestfriend in the entire world as I am his. Now we're faced with a breakup because I would like to have atleast one child and he doesn't want to have any. I've tried to do some soul searching to see if I could be happy without having any children of my own. Although I know that having children is not the only happiness I want for myself nor do I think it will define me, I'm so afraid that having our relationship is the only way that I'm ever going to be happy. I'm so miserable without him, and I know he's feeling the exact same loss. He has also tried to reconsider his decision about not wanting kids but he always comes up with the same answer - he doesn't want to be a parent. I know that we would be happy being married with one child, something that is manageable with today's hectic life styles. I know that deep down in my soul - but he's too afraid to take the leap into parenthood. He wants to marry me but is afraid that I will resent him later in life for never having any kids (as am I). I truly believe that we were meant for each other but I know that bringing a child into this world is not a good idea unless both parties are willing. I don't know whether to say goodbye to the love of my life over this issue (because I realize it is a big one) or to close the door on motherhood and fulfill my motherly nurturing with my future nieces/nephews (I have four siblings). I'm almost 30 now, and I see a dark and bleek future without my one and only. So, I'm even father away from marriage and a family if we split up. I love him with every ounce of my being and I know he feels the same way. Any advice would be appreciated. We've both been dealing with this issue and communicating well with each other about it for the last year or so, so it hasn't been taken lightly. Maybe we can't have it all -I'm so confused but I know I've found the love of my life.