secret_agent_man

I'm sorry to hear of your distress, and I wish everyone involved the best. Take a minute to step back and REALLY figure out why you don't trust him. Has he done anything else to make you feel that way? If the old family is what worries you, put it behind you. If you have trust in him, let it go. You really have to look at it from his side. Talking is the best way to do this. I can't stress "communication" enough. You have to let him know that you WON'T leave because of the kids. And I'm sure he will tell you that he doesn't want to go back to his ex. When you let things pile up in your head, you tend to blow things out of proportion. Just remember, if you love him and you want him to love you, you have to keep the communication lines open, ALWAYS. DON'T hold ANYTHING back, even if it seems small, it can add up to a LOT more in your head! Hope this is a little bit of a help....

Thanks, I know I need to worry about myself, and I know she can take care of herself, but it's hard not knowing, you know??? I need to know she's OK, and god how I want to know what she'll decide...

Ok, Here's my story. I've been in a very growing relationship for about 5 years, and just recently got engaged (valentines day of this year). My fiancee is an angel from above... In the past things have not always been perfect, but everyhing has made us stronger. When she was out of town on vacation about 3 years ago, I cheated. I was at a party and I allowed myself to get out of control. I couldn't get out of bed for a week. I was sick to my stomach, and I learned a lot about myself. My life has changed drastically since then. I used to pride myself in being faithful, now I understand that I am human and I can make the same mistakes as everyone else can, unless I pay attention to what I am doing. She eventually forgave me and it has made us so much stronger. In a way, it was a good thing that is happened so early in our relationship, and it showed how strong we were together. Now, 5 months after we got engaged to be married, she broke down two nights ago and told me she was scared. I understand, she is only 20 years old (I'm 21, by the way) and it's a big life decision, to settle down and be tied to someone for the rest of your life. She said she needs some time to make sure that this is what she wants and to figure out who she is. I can understand why she needs this, and I don't want her to be unhappy. Deep down, I would rather have her be happy without me than be unhappy with me. It's hard to swallow that, though. We've talked a few times since this started, full of tears, and she feels aweful for what I'm going through, and she's still scared and confused. But we know that this is necisarry and that there's no turning back. And I am also aware that I should disconnect for a while to make it easier on her. If she decides her life is best with me, we know we'll be so much stronger. If it's better without, then it's sad to say... maybe it's for the best. She's taking an "undetermined length" break from me, to make sure I'm what she wants. I know she's not at all the one to "cheat" but it's really hard for me to sit back and wait alone while she's with someone else. I don't want someone else. I can't be with someone else. I only wish there was an easier way for this time to pass. Anyone with any advice, I'm listening!