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melrich

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Everything posted by melrich

  1. melrich
    I don't know what gave you that idea. You can reason with kids from about the age of 4. The trick is you need to do it in their language which is not always the same as the logic of adults. This is part of your problem. The natural parent HAS to be responsible for all disciplining in the first few years. The child will simply not accept your authority and will actively rebel against it. You MUST get the mother to first of all to start disciplining he child. Further you need to sit down with her and agree on what is acceptable and what is not. You must then be totally united in that. She disciplines and lays down the law and you support. Step parenting is a tough gig, especially when you come into the kids lives relatively late. They see you as competition for their mom and likely as a reason their dad is not around. Your main responsibility is to develop the relationship with them, not discipline them. The whole "secret" marriage thing is not helping either. Kids are incredibly perceptive and you can be sure taht they have picked up that things are not as they should be.
  2. melrich
    Have a look at Lanisol too. It is more comonly used as a nipple cream but what I like about it is it's pure lanolin, nothing artificial, nothing medicated. We have found it the best for nappy rash and there is no limit on the time you can use it for because it is all natural. The other bonus of it is because it has a consistency similar to vaseline, it stays on unlike a lot of medicated creams which tend to get rubbed off by the nappies.
  3. melrich
    If he is normally a good eater and gets a reasonably varied diet then don't have fights about food. If one night he doesn't want something just let it go. Tension at meal times causes more eating problems in kids than just about anything else. It is a control thing, they want some control over what they eat. Our eldest is similar and it is worst when he is tired. We made a decision a long time ago that if he didn't want to eat what was on his plate then that was fine. We went through all the stuff "you're not leaving till it's all finished", "you have 5 minutes to finish"...it just caused so much tension that we started to dread meal times. Now he can leave whatever he wants of his food. He still gets dessert. If he's hungry after that he gets re-presented with the dinner he left. He rarely leaves anything nowadays but if he has a day where he doesn't want tomatoes we don't sweat it.
  4. melrich
    Luke, I don't want to sound like I am trying to crap on your idea but these are some things I think you need to think about, There are millions and millions of blogs on the net. The vast majority no one reads. Maybe 0.0001% attract enough traffic to make money. A successful blog, one that is of interest to a mass audience needs to be authentic and display passion and conviction. If your starting point is "How do I make money out of a blog site?" then it is very unlikely you will be able to write anything that will be of interest to anyone. Get your idea first. Make it something you have a passion for. Start your site and start telling people about it. Keep it going for a year or two. When your traffic hits reasonable levels, start to think about some revenue ideas.
  5. melrich
    Are you planning a long term relationship with this guy? If so are you planning to check his emails and personal stuff for the duration of that time? If so it is a pretty sad way to conduct a relationship. You have to admit to yourself that what you are doing is not sustainable. You either re-commit your trust to him or you admit to yourself that you'll never give him your trust again and end teh relationship.
  6. melrich
    Captain, let's assume you are on the money with this. What are you mucking around for. Get on the phone, speak to her, tell her you want her back and get this relationship going again. If she loves you it does not matter whether it is on the phone, in person or via email, she will be just desperate to be back together again. Because that's what people in love want to be....together.
  7. melrich
    I can understand your Dad's fears and I still think it would be great if you could try and give him a forum to express them as well. As others have said, try not to judge him too harshly. It sounds like your mom and dad have been together for around 30 years. They probably see them selves as one person and your Dad has probably forgotten how to live alone. His fear is understandable. What will help him now is knowing that you understand it. Things like this can rip families apart. If your dad is not totally rational about thjings now then you have to become the rational one. You may need to take the role of the adult or talk to your sister about which of you should shoulder that burden.
  8. melrich
    Hi Dreamer, What a terrible thing your family is going through. Your Dad is obviously feeling the strain too and I want you to understand that he loves you but the stress of all that is happening is perhaps causing him to not have the best judgement at the moment. I really think you should take the initiative here and ask your dad for an honest sit down and talk. Tell him what your feelings are, how you are trying to cope. Be honest with him and let him know how he is making you feel sometimes. Remind him that you are all in this together and you guys have to be united for your mom's sake. I am really sure he wioll respond well to this approach but you will probably have to make some allowances, neither of you will always be in control of your emotions. You may even want to suggest some joint counselling or if you are religious getting together with your local clergyman. You always have a place here to come to when you need to.
  9. melrich
    I agree. Must haves - crib, change table, car seat, bassinet. The rest you can easily do without. You could do without a change table too if you have plenty of flat surfaces around but the practicallity of having a place to store everything within easy reach I think outweighs the cost of the table (they're pretty cheap anyway and you can easily sell when no longer needed).
  10. melrich
    You know how dangerous taking pills can be, I don't have to tell you that. I don't have to tell you where this can potentially take your life, you probably know that too. I just hope you understand and what you are potentially giving up. I hope there are some good people around you who will step in. Good luck.
  11. melrich
    I am very organised at work but totally unorganised socially, in fact I hate having things "locked" into my social calendar. I much prefer to decide what I want to do on the spur of the moment and according to my mood.
  12. melrich
    Yep.. toothpaste works.
  13. melrich
    I agree and I think laboheme summed it up really well. Women generally are more in touch with their emotions, are better at maintaining social networks and talking about their private lives. Men tend to take the stoic "i'll get through this on my own" approach and that simply makes the loss of a relationship harder to cope with.
  14. melrich
    Thank you but I wasn't trying to be smart. Unless you have a cold or flu or something, your saliva is pretty well exactly the same as the next persons.
  15. melrich
    What does she do about the saliva in her mouth?
  16. melrich
    Yeah you know whenever you spend lots of time with someone else you have to accept that there is going to be downtime. It's like me and my partner are basically together 24/7 (except when I'm at work) so of course we can't completely fill up that time with dinners, parties, going out, having fun. You have to have downtime because you have to recharge. And remember, your step brother is not there to entertain you. He has his own life and own likes and dislikes. So try and appreciate the fun times you guys have but remember that you are individuals who each ahve their own likes and dislikes and you don't have to have to be doing something to have fun 24/7.
  17. melrich
    Is there anyway you are going to make this relationship work? From the sound of your post you know already it is over. If that's so then you are doing the wrong thing by your b/f in keeping it going. That is not fair to him and ultimately to yourself. You shouldn't schedule emotional decisions according to your own calendar.
  18. melrich
    Hallelujah, hallelujah!!
  19. melrich
    How old is he?
  20. melrich
    I'm guessing, but I think most people would give in an instant to the person they loved. I know I would. I'd do the same for my children no matter what the risk.
  21. melrich
    My partner had both our kids drug free (but for some gas). The first was really bad as she had major tearing and and our son got stuck in the birth canal so it was a very long final stage of labor. She took a while to recover from this labor because of the tearing and she does not know if drugs would have shortened the recovery or lengthened it. For our second she actually planned to get some pain relief (no epidural) but by the time we got to the hospital and worked out what was going on it was too late in the labor for anything to be administered and it was just the gas again. This was an "easy" labor. No problems. My partner and I could have gone out for dinner 2 hours later. That seems to be the common theme I hear about drugs for pain relief during birth, the recovery for the mother is much slower, the baby tends to be a bit dopey for a couple of days. One form of pain relief she did use is called "Tens" here. It is basically electrical pulses sent into the back around the spine to block pain messages to the brain. Sounds sci-fi but she swears it works to take the real edge off.
  22. melrich
    Captain, I have posted to you before about your meeting with your g/f urging you not to over read what she said to you. When you told her you hoped to get back together again, what exactly did she say? And it is this sort of speculation that worries me about where this is going. To say this is wildly optimistic is an understatement. You really should try and stop reading her facebook. One piece of advice I do agree with here was from whoever said "Get on with it." If you are really confident that your meeting the other day went well and she meant what you think she meant, ask her out for a follow up. Otherwise mate, you are just going to do your head in.
  23. melrich
    How dare you insult the noble grapefruit!! For your information it is and remains one of my favourite fruits and I am firmly of the opinion that it is generally one of the more sensible fruits. You should really put more thought into your posts before making such a rash generalisation!!!!
  24. melrich
    I can definitely understand where you are coming from. But step into her shoes and try and feel what she would feel. For the sake of your relationship with your step daughters, I think you definitely should see someone about this. I do understand the hate but you cannot let it consume you.
  25. melrich
    I think generally that would be true.
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