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melrich

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Everything posted by melrich

  1. melrich
    At this stage I wouldn't worry too much about what you call it, just enjoy it.
  2. melrich
    If you don't go you'll resent her and that will cause more damage to your relationship than seeing the odd boob (lucky you don't live in Oz where topless on the beach is de rigeur!). As much as teenage relationships are fun, it's important they don't get in the way of experiencing life as a teenager. You don't get that time over again.
  3. melrich
    That's not what happens here unless the marriage is very short (less than 2 years). Even then, if one came in with nothing and the other $100,000, the one with nothing would still take away probably a minimum of $10,000 to $15,000.
  4. melrich
    To the cultured it is a toilet.
  5. melrich
    I don't come from a "dating" culture so I am not even sure I know exactly what it actually means. And equality in terms of a relationship is such a difficult thing to define and it is always shifting (no man who has spent 9 months with his pregnant partner would describe the period as equal!!!....mind you no woman might either!!). And then early in a relationship, things are rarely "equal", it takes time to find such balances. However I like whoever said, "whatever we are fine with". Perfect balance may be a forerunner to its own set of problems as the realtionship matures.
  6. melrich
    I think it is always best if it is possible to be face to face. It may be uncomfortable and you may confront some anger even a level of hostility but in time the other person will understand you showed them respect and will in turn respect you for your courage.
  7. melrich
    Yeah that would bug me too.
  8. melrich
    I like the two Issey Miyake colognes for men. I can't remember the names of them but one is in a blue bottle and the other in a frosted one. I prefer the frosted one. My partner loves them too but I don't know how other women feel about them.
  9. melrich
    Yeah I don't disagree with this. I do think pre nups have a place, especially as it relates to pre-marriage assets and post marriage earnings. But again the courts are not bad at determining that sort of thing themselves and the fact is here anyway, after about 5 years of marriage pre nups carry little to no weight anyway. But for the majority of people it is not of significant concern but case by case they have their place.
  10. melrich
    fact is I couldn't do what I do without her doing what she is doing. Look don't take at face value everything you see in the papers. Courts are not stupid and having been through a divorce I know they take into account fiscal contribution but they also take into account mitigating factors and that is what is rarely reported. Celebrity bust ups always look spectacular because of the huge numbers involved. Mccartneys wife I think will get about $80 mil. Sounds a lot. But in effect it is less than 10% of his worth. That is fact of how these things are determined. A court will never give less than a figure around 10% and more usually not lower than 20%. If you see a 50/50 split understand that there are mitigating factors you do not know about (like kids or sacrificed career for the betterment of another). It is way too simple to look at the papers and say that is unfair. In fact if you want to see the complexity of proceedings around Contributing Assets go to a site called scaleplus and read the 100s of transcripts. You will see all is not what it sometimes seems.
  11. melrich
    Look I don't entirely disagree. When you are talking McCartney or Sharapova there is such a phenomenal imbalance. But I'll give you a more realistic example. When I met my partner we were both working and whilst she did not earn what I earn, she was in a high paid job and it was probably about 50%. So I would not consider that any sort of imbalance that needed to be addressed. 7 years later, I am one of only maybe 20 people in my country that can do what I do. I am not a sportsman but I am very well paid for my job. My partner retired from the workforce 5 years ago to have kids and look after them. The discprepency between our earnings is massive given she earns nothing. Would I want that to be taken to account? No way. I fully look at our relationship as a partnership and if it ever ended would feel no injustice at her getting half of everything, despite that fact that in the last 5 years we have purchased a farm, a beach house, a small vineyard and various other assets with money I earned. To me that's just part of what a relationship is about. I do grant you though, if I were earning $100 million a year and she was earning nothing it would give pause for thought although even then at the end of the day, half of $100 million a year still allows you to live comfortably.
  12. melrich
    Can women play in the NFL? If she was the best woman baseball player in the world what would she earn? What would the best male baseball player in the world earn?
  13. melrich
    I think prenups have a place especially where one person is bringing significant assets into the marriage and the other is not. Where I don't agree with them is if they relate to assets procured during the marriage (here it is not legally possible to have a prenup referring to assets built during the marriage but it may be elsewhere). Otherwise I don't see anything inherently wrong with them.
  14. melrich
    Yes it is totally normal.
  15. melrich
    A bit of jealousy in a relationship is normal, even healthy. If the jealousy is intense and/or irrational it is usually more about the person feeling it than the object of the jealousy. It probably comes down to issues with your self-esteem and feelins of worth and I feel that is where you should concentrtae your efforts.
  16. melrich
    This thread has gone way off topic, sorry OP but I'm can't bring myself to turn it around on a bunch of aussies discussing things dear to heart, not enough of it around here!!, one of the other mods may step in at some stage......
  17. melrich
    Lots of Aussies here!
  18. melrich
    I am not surprised it is still a raw issue with you after a year. But hopefully the intensity of your feelings are less that they were at 1 month/3months/6 months etc.
  19. melrich
    Sorry finewhine I have not responded back to you on that specific question. I think Caro covered pretty well what I'd have said. Re. asking for the offer in writing I think that is fine and prudent. Most employers understand that accepting a job is a big decision and whilst they will be anxious for your answer they will respect that you need reasonable time and the specific information to respond. You should always remember that it is also a big process for an employer. It costs a lot of money to recruit someone nowadays and once they have been through what is for them also a long process of recruitment and selected a person, they generally do not give up on that decision all things being reasonable. 2 or 3 days consideration once you have the written details of the offer should be no problem.
  20. melrich
    Unfortunately Ithink the best way to deal with this is to accept it. The sooner you do that the quicker you will be able to move on.
  21. melrich
    No you are not off base, he is. That's not what love is about. It's not like slavery. It's about mutual respect. If he loved you he would respect your decision and your right to make that decision.
  22. melrich
    It's ultimately your choice. People here just give advice from their own perspective which may be different to yours.
  23. melrich
    Well I don't think too many members are going to give you advice that involves continuing to lie to these people so looking for advice you want to hear becomes a bit of a futile exercise.
  24. melrich
    What exactly is it that you want to hear? It's not exactly model behaviour so really the best thing you can do is start to put a few things right and that means being honest with people.
  25. melrich
    That is an exceptionally good insight Karvala. This should be posted on every "Letter to My Ex" post. I agree with the others, don't send it, she will not read it as you intend her to read it. If you want to address these issues with her do it face to face and don't make it so much about you.
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