WalkingWithGod

I just wanted to give you an update. We have been dating for about 5 weeks now, and she has gotten better every day. I have met her family and they are amazing. She is truly loving (1 Corinthians 13). She is everything I have ever hoped for. I didn't think a person could be everything I could hope for, but she is. She is an amazing gift from God. I truly hope all of you can find the same. It is hard to imagine that God loves me more than I love her, but that also is true. 1 Corinthians 13 (Bible) 1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

God has blessed me with the most amazing woman last week. That very day I told God that I didn't care about getting married anymore that I was satisified with His love and whatever he wanted to have me do in life. I also prayed that he would give me peace about whether he wanted me to get married or stay single. This is a big deal for me, because I have been preparing myself for marriage as long as I can remember. That night I went to my first ever dance class. I was very happy being single and actually not excited about meeting anyone. The girl I finally met was sitting in front of me during a Bible study we had. The leader of the Bible study asked everyone if they could answer where particular phrases were qouted from. Most people could guess the song lyrics and movie qoutes, but they could not guess the Bible verse qoutes. She new the chapter they were in. I was amazed by that and wanted to encourge her. By this point I didn't really know what she looked like because she was wearing a big coat and was turned away from me. All I knew was that she was wearing a black skirt. We first had a 30 minute dance lesson. It was fun and although there were many attractive women there I wasn't interested in any of them. I then sat down in a seat, talked with a few people for a while still looking for the girl with the black skirt. It turned out several of the girls had black skirts the same length. Anyways, after the dance floor cleared out a little I went and started dancing with a few people. Some how we were coupled together with out me remembering how. Holding her hands was amazing and I was immediately drawn to her. I didn't think much of it, because like I said I wasn't looking for anyone and it might sound strange, but I had only dated two girls before which I knew both of them for several years before we ever dated and I wanted to keep it that way. Anyways, she asked me what my name was and my job and I was kind of turned off by that, because I live in a big city where that is all people seem to care about. Also when I tell people what my job is they can usually only think about the fact that I am rich and it messes up relationships. A few people tried to step in, and I had a really hard time letting go of her. One of the times I sat out I looked over at the table I had been sitting at and saw the coat of the girl that had remembered the Bible chapter. I then realized the girl I had been dancing with and was so drawn to was the same girl that knew the Bible chapter. A few minutes later I was standing to the side again and remember thinking that she was the woman I was going to marry and that I never wanted to let her go. Since then we have talked for many hours and gone on three dates. She only gets more amazing every time. I know it is really early, but God is definitely guiding this and it is only good. For some reason as nervous as I have been and as tired as I have been, I have had a hard time saying stupid stuff. Also I have been presented tons of oppurtunites to impress her that I am never presented wtih. Also the first night I felt compelled to ask her for her number. I have never in my life asked a girl for her number with the intention of going on a date and I am 28 years old. Anyways I just thought some of you might enjoy reading this. I will try to keep you updated. One last important thing, I was in love with her before I even knew her, but now that I know her better I am infintely more in love with her. She is truly amazing. Also, about a week before I met her I was having trouble eating and felt kind of euphoric like I was already in love.

The Bible has a great definition of love. There are several different types of love from fondness, to a family type of love, to romantic love. Each of these types of love put in our hearts the desire to treat someone the way real love manifest itself. The fullness of love can only truly be expressed by God and is described in the Bible in 1 Corinthians 13. I think I have finally found love and it was just when I had given up on it with a person. 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails.

Jetis, I am so glad you are trying to take care of her. First off, you are making the right move by not "fooling around" with her. By this point she probable thinks that this is all guys want and she is willing to do it as long as she can be in a relationship she feels secure in. One of my ex's was so convinced that guys only wanted to "fool around" that when I didn't she broke off the relationship because she thought I didn't care for her. I was in the relationship with her for 3 months and after she broke off the relationship she realized that I actually did care for her more than any of the other guy's she had dated. A year later by not "fooling around" with her she looks at relationships much differently and has finally found what I believe is a good boyfriend that takes care of her. Anyways the best thing you can do to protect her is to let her be who she is and make sure you treat her well without "fooling around" with her.

Try complementing him. That will probably boost his confidence and make it easier to talk to you.

This might sound insane, but I actually got over my ex of five years by loving God. After my ex broke up with me about 6 months ago I just searched after God and quickly didn't miss my ex very much at all. I have just found that God has so much love for me that my girlfriend's love was very important. I have seen God's love through prayer, noticing his beautiful creation, and through the promises He has fulfilled in the Bible.

I know it must really hurt if she has cheated on you, but I think we all need to realize that marriage has very little meaning in this day in age. I don't think you can take sexual integrity for granted any more. The fact that she slept with one guy four years ago and hasn't done anything since is actually a pretty amazing accomplishment. You would be hard pressed to do any better, especially with a job that takes you away so much. Also, what kind of sexual integrity have you practiced. Have you truly not slept with anyone during your marriage and when you are away do you flirt with other women or check out other women or porn? These kinds of things will also hurt your wife. Also, if you are not giving her the kind of attention and love she deserves then you are making it very difficult for her to be true to you. The fact that she has taking care of your 3 kids while you are busy flying is very amazing. You two owe it to your children who you brought into this world to try and work it out.

sadsole, I council many girls like your ex girlfriend. You really need to consider if you would really like to raise a family with her and face all of the hard times in life with her. It sounds like she needs to mature a little before she will be able to take on all of these important aspects of life. If you truly want to be with this woman for the rest of your life then you will need to wait sit back praise her, support her, and wait for her to realize that you really love her and that love is real. You could marry her now and have a loveless relationship of years until she stops taking you for granted and realizes that love is really real. You need to see if you really now how to love as well. This is really key, If you don't know how to love, I recommend that you learn how to love as soon as possible. I have included a description of love at the bottom of the message. Seek after love and be patient. There are literally millions of girls out there that would probably love to have you as a boyfriend, but it is better to wait and find the woman you truly want to be with for the rest of your life. You won't be able to find her while you are with all of the other girls. As far as whether or not you are a number, it isn't exactly like this but sort of. She basically is starving for affection and particularly from guys. She also needs to feel in control of things because she probably feels like an out of control victim of things in the past. She desperately longs to be loved, but doesn't believe that love is really real and certainly doesn't want to make herself vunerable enough to rely on someone and be truly loved. You probably loved the fact that she seemed to be deeply pastionately in love with you, but this probably not true. She is more just deeply hurting and longing for affection. She will probably continue to get in intimate realtionship with guys for years until she realizes that by coercing guys into intimate relationship she is actually destroying the very love she is seeking. She might have liked you more than any of the other guys she has met, but she might have just said those things to coerce you into an intimate relationship. Basically, you are going to have to figure out whether the relationship is one based on love and whether you want her to be your life partner. By life partner I mean the person you want to go through all of the good times and bad times of life together and the person you want to rely on in the hard times. If you really love her and are willing to be extremely patient, there is very good chance that you will end up with her. Make sure to chase after love and not lust or companionship. Those things can be easily gotten, but love is difficult and extremely rewarding. The best description for love I have found is in the Bible 1 Corinthians 13: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self - seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

finewhine, I seem to be paritially reading post a lot lately. Sorry about that. Anyways, if by book publishing you mean writing then I still think link removed might be a place you might want to post some short stories. People can make donations to you for your work link removed is an example. Several of my friends have been published authors. They just wrote books and submitted them to publishers for review.

Finewhine there are journalism jobs all over the country. It sounds like you might not actually want to move to New York City but you feel like you have to move there, because that is where the best jobs are. Although, living in New York might help you build a bigger network just starting a journalism job somewhere will help even more. To start a journalism job you just need to send out resumes to places you would like to work with a portfolio. If you don't mind moving to D.C. or California I would recommend working with NPR. They offer a great work environment and great internships. The webpage to sign up for internships is link removed. As far as I understand they also have by far the most full time journalists of any network probably in the world. Another neat news orgnization I found is link removed. They let people submit news stories which they host on their own website. They can receive donations through paypal for their news stories. Most of the major news networks have locations in Chicago. I know it seems daunting to start this new chapter in your life, but it sounds like you are well qualified and enjoy doing it so you will have a leg up on a lot of people. Good luck. By the way, I work in the radio and television broadcast industry on the engineering side. We are currently building a station in New York, but we build stations all over the country as well.

Please care for and love her and your child. If you need help and live near Washington D.C. send me a note and I will see what I can do.

Sorry about that I read the first 4 or so pages. Guess I didn't make it in time.

Sounds great! Hope I didn't upset you too much. As I get older and see the results of all of the fun people are having in school, I am more and more heart broken and feel I have to tell as many people your age as I can the problems that can come from it and often do. Good luck. By the way, from your post in sounded like you were pretty strong against the boys, but remember its going to continue. Thanks for reading my post.

If you can't wait it out 10 more years then you need to let her go. I just broke up with a girl that was in a similiar situation. She had a lot of support from people around her, and it still took her three years to develop the confidence and emotional stability to hold down a good job long term. I don't know if you have tried to care for someone with this much trauma. If you haven't been through it it is hard to comphehend how much trauma is actually there. Even though she was able to keep down a job it was still basically impossible for her to really trust anyone and trust is a big part of love. Every person is different, but I seriously think it will take a long time for her to be able to have an deep loving relationship.

broken_soul it is very evident that the pain you are going through has almost nothing to do with your ex boyfriend. I don't know what is hurting you, but you are desperately trying to seek love and are seeking it in the wrong places. I know you don't want to hear this but from what you have said your boyfriend is very selfish and probably one of the worst people you could be around. I want to let you know that God loves you deeply. You may not be able to see this right now and you may not even recognize God, but God gives you beautiful flowers and a beautiful sky everyday. I hope you will one day understand this and know that you are loved by God more than any man could ever love you. I am going to share with you a description of the kind of love God has for you and hope you can except this. I also want you to know that God created humans in His image. He created us to be like Him. He also spoke everything but humans into existence. He literal formed us and made us. God's love is patient and kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self - seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps not record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always persereverses. Love never fails. Please try to find people that have this kind of love and hang around them. You need to have this kind of love to heal from what is hurting you. Ultimate you need to know that God loves you like this. Also, I am sure there is a man out there that wants to love you like this, and will except you for who you are and where you are, but you are going to have to stop being with guys like you ex and start chasing after this real love if you want to find it. You are also going to have to become loving like this if you want to appreciate real love. I hope this best for you and I will say a prayer for you.

You are going to have to be extremenly patient. It will probably take years for her to recover from all of the trauma during her developmental years. I would guess if she is lucky it will take 10 years. Meanwhile she will need to develop deeply loving and caring relationships that are long term and pseudo familial relationships with people who are not having sex with her and who genuinely care for her and don't just give into her every desire. She will probably not really trust anyone for many years and she will have particular trouble trusting those who are closest to her because they are the most dangerous. Many women who have gone through situations like this will ask for a lot of stuff either because it is one of the few things that make them feel in control or because it is one of the few things that make them feel loved, but she will need to learn what love is like away from stuff. If you give her a lot of stuff she will probably start to think she either controls you in which case she won't respect you or you are her father in which case you can't be her boyfriend. If you have sex with her she will assume you are an abuser or this is the only reason you love her. She will also probably let you abuse her and maybe even encourage you to, because she probably doesn't think that highly of herself and will be scared if someone truly loves and takes care of her. She will be scared because she thinks it will make her too vunerable. She can easily fake passion and love, but the real thing will be locked tightly inside of her heart. Please do not let her live this fake love. It will only eat at her more and make it harder for her to really be loved and appreciate love. I am probably being too presumptious here, but I have seen this kind of thing quite a bit.

First of all I don't think your feelings are all that abnormal, but it doesn't sound like you love her in the I want to live with her for the rest of my life kind of way. That kind of love is more about who you are then who she is. You will have to find someone with whom you are willing to express that kind of love, but from the problems you express I don't think you are ready for that kind of deep committed love yet. As far as the weight goes, most women will have weight fluctuations over time between 20 and 30 lbs at some point in their adult life. She might be gaining weight because she is depressed that your thinking about other women. It is always your problem when you are thinking about other women. When you get married it doesn't matter if she is a super model you will always find something that interests you more if you let yourself. It sounds like your actual problem is that you have gotten too emotionally attached to her, but you are not ready to commit to anyone. If you are not ready to commit forever to her then you definitely should break up with her now, because you are only going to hurt her more and you are taking her away from chances to meet other guys that will love her for who she is. If you can commit to her then you should marry her as soon as you can. Marriage is mainly a commitment in which real love can grow. You need to be committed to lifting her up and to staying faithful to her with your mind and body. Do not let parental pressure make this decision for you. You need to determine if you are willing to commit to her wholeheartedly for life. Good luck.

I am very proud of you for not having sex. I don't know why you decided not to have sex, but if you try to do a lot of things people are talking about here then you will probably end up having sex. If your goal is to turn each other on but not have sex you are really going into a dangerous area. Good luck at not having sex it is worth it.

As an older brother type, please hear me out. If you are like most girls in intermediate or high school you probably love when guys give you attention. You probably want to meet a really great guy that is going to love you for who you are and will take care of you and treat you well. The type of guy you hooked up with definitely only wants to have sex with you. He also wants to have sex with all the girls he meets every friday night and he tells them all not to tell anyone else so that they won't get mad at him. You may be excited that he likes your body, but you need to realize that every guy in you school probably likes your body. I am not exaggerating. At the age you are talking about all the guys may not show it but they are probably willing to have sex with just about every girl in the school and probably you in particularly. There are those guys though that respect women enough to not do that to them. You might be wondering what is sooooo bad about a guy trying to have sex with me especially if he uses protection and all we do is "get felt up". Let me please tell you of the horrors. First off the most important aspect of this all is an aspect you might not understand. As you start to become sexual active it becomes a very big part of who you are which ends up controlling the way you look at relationship. You will start to find yourself looking more and more for the sexual side of relationship and less and less at the truly loving and caring side of relationships. Men can also tell if you are sexual and men that aren't trying to be sexual will be repulsed by you and men that are sexual will be drawn to you. So you will get in more and more sexual relationships. I hope you can understand how bad this is. Also when you are actually in relationship you will not try to work on the trust, patience, forgiving, and caring parts of relationship you will just skip to the sex. You might think that if everyone is so crazy about the sex it must be great. Well according to the research I have read it can be, but outside of a trusting, caring, committed relationship many women aren't actually able to enjoy sex at all. Many people just brag about sex because they want to act like they are mature and they think they will have more friends if they do. Many people also start smoking doing drugs, and drinking for the same reason. Let me tell you about the statistics and yes these are real and yes you could be a part of them very easily especially if you are doing these kind of sexual things right now. First through anal and oral sex you are more likely to get a sexually transmitted disease. Currently 1 in 3 people under the age of 24 who are sexually active have a sexually transmitted disease. Many of these diseases don't ever go away. If you are worried about zits thank about zits or warts all over your private parts for you whole life and think about trying to have sex after that. Many of the young people these statistics talk about are using birth control and condoms but they still get STDs. Also, think about possibly getting Aids and dying before you reach 30. In Washinton D.C. 10% of the people living there have Aids. Also realize that you are putting yourself at risk for having a child at a very early age. Children are wonderful, but if you can not fully take care of it then you are going to hurt that child. You will also greatly reduce your chances of getting to college and many men will not want to marry you if you have a child at such a young age or get an STD. It is a sad truth many women have to live with. Please take care of yourself and don't let men abuse you. Also remember that those guys who are not asking you out right now, if you will give them a few years they will start to ask you out. At your age many guys are too scared to ask girls out or are just not ready for a dating relationship. Please be patient and take care of yourself. When guys ask you to fool around with them it is kind of like them asking you to run out onto a busy highway and to dodge traffic. You will likely get very very hurt and they won't. They will sit on the sidelines and enjoy watching you. They will tell you they love you, and when you get hit by a car they will walk away and find the next girl to taunt. Sex is wonderful in a life long committed loving relationship, but fooling around is just crazy.

Having protected sex does not mean she won't get pregnant. On average condoms are only 86% effective. Many people qoute a 98% statistic but that statistic is only accurate if everything is perfect which it doesn't sound like it would be in this situation. That means that if you have sex 10 times you risk her being pregnant once. Are you really being much of a friend at all if you are willing to subject her to possible diseases, having to raise a child at a young age, and the emotional fallout when you break up. It is generally much harder for a girl when she breaks up with someone she has been sexually active with. If you are at all afraid of having a child with her then you are not mature enough to have sex with her.

The best definition I ever found for love can be found in the Bible in 1 Corinthians 13 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. The emotions everyone is talking about are signs that you may since this type of love, that you are very attracted to a person, or that you just long for this type of love so much that you make yourself believe you have found this type of love. Good luck finding this type of love. It is wonderful and rare. Erotic love is described in Song of Solomon in the Bible.

Just make sure you grow from it. Your virginity is not as important as your heart. You are still very valuable in God's eyes. Just learn to really love people from here on out. The love you can give you future husband will be more important than your virginity, but don't continue to trade sex for love. Love is far tooo important to trade for sex. Sex is enjoyable but only really love in marriage. Good luck and I will say a prayer for you.

I am so proud of. I think you also learned that not having sex with guys is a good way to see if they really care about you or are just after sex. You will probably get rejected a lot but who cares, because it just means you won't have to hang out with people that aren't right for you and you will be able to meet the one that is right for you faster.

Women love to see that a man can make up his mind a be an adult. You need to first decide wether this is a potential wife and soul mate or just a girl you are attracted to and have fun with. It sound like you have spent enough time with her to make this decision. If you don't know yet then relax and figure that out. You may not even be ready for a serious relationship yet and that is not a bad thing just make sure you are honest withyourself. If she is just an attractive friend and you feel like being in a relationship then just stay friends. If you start dating her and you don't view her as a likely wife the you will probably just end up hurting both of you and wasting each others time. You can have a great time as friends. If you think she is someone you could live with for the rest of your life and you could marry then you need to determine if you are the kind of person that could properly take care of her and love her and a family. This may seem scary and its something you just have to take one day at a time, but you need to decide realistically if you are even ready to go down this path. If you are truly serious about her a family could be a reality very quickly. If you are serious about a family with her, then you need to tell her your feelings without fear and in a way that is sensitive to her as a person. She needs to know that you are man enough to be the man in a relationship. This is particularly important if she is studying law because she is probably very driven and has definite goals set in her life. She also needs you to be very sensitive to her as a woman, because as a law student she is probably not treated as a lady very often. You must be sensitive to her boundaries and her needs. After all of this she still may reject most likely because she is so driven towards her education goals that she doesn't see room in her life for a serious relationship. If she does get into relationship they will probably be with people that she is just having fun with and not someone she truly connects with and wants to be serious with. This of course is just a generality, but one you might want to be aware of. Even if she does reject you, you will have given her a positive image of yourself and it might workout in the future. Good luck. Also she sounds like an intelligent girl and she will probably will not be easily manipulated into the look we kissed now we are in a relationship game. It is important that you chase after her while respecting her boundaries. Women love to be desired and treasured.

Sexual experience is far less important and probably counterproductive to gaining experience in love and learning about women. If you are sexually active you will not be spending time with other women and will not be building a loving relationship with the woman you are with. If you are really interested in learning about sex the web has tons of information on it and you will probably know more than most sexually active people.