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Spawn

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Everything posted by Spawn

  1. Spawn
    well ya pointless to chase after someone who doesn't love you. Lettin go is good if done in the proper manner. I did it in a little rude way but atleast giving her some reason to feel angry for me would help her get over me sooner than later. Told her not to contact me ever.......it won't be right on my part to be involved in any form in her life. i will always miss my ex, and i do hope both she and her first bf really works it out incase they are together after all the differences are sort out, she actually loves him more. Lifes strange but u have to do the right thing......
  2. Spawn
    well there are many here who are feeling stupid for breaking NC.....join the party. Me too included I think it will take some time deejay, i am also struggling with all those memories lately it has been the nice memories....anyways. Hang in there, and i really hope it turns out fine with this new girl. Good luck! and Have Fun
  3. Spawn
    i think she is being very selfish for an ex and anyways its been only 5 weeks.....who knows how long its gonna take for you. Same with my ex, i had to tell her to stop contacting me since i had more feelings for her. You don't need to explain to her why you are doing NC. She has a boyfriend for now let her be with him, why does she need your friendship? She is just tryin to hold on to you in whatever ways she can. Stay strong and stick to NC.
  4. Spawn
    hmmm....i am little crazy as well someday i feel really grateful to her for dumping me and somedays i feel, like today, that i was the one responsible for the whole insecurities and the issues. you are right i am being very hard on myself, just dunno how to let go of this guilty feeling. Thanks that imagination part sounds a lot crazy, heck can't even imagine sayin that...
  5. Spawn
    screechy, i just never understood cause once she came back after trying to get back with her ex things changed a lot. Each and everyday i had to listen to things like u shud find some other girl and stuff like oh you are going to this party , you will definitely find girls and will forget me. That all hurt me a lot. I was so committed to this girl and she just plainly hurt me each and every day. I took it lightly thinkin she is kiddin me but when i said to her once that she was the only one i wanted to be with, she got so pissed off dunno why. Maybe she really wanted to get out of the relationship. No, i said she didn't deserve me because maybe she deserved someone better than me who could be with her even if she betrayed him. I did try to but then eventually things went down. I must have been very bad for not makin her forget her ex.....
  6. Spawn
    Well, to tell you the truth i have been in the exact same situation, i really feel now i was kind of a rebound guy for her, since she was holdin on to hopes to get back with her ex and she did try to. I remember my ex once said to me that we had no sweet memories or moments between us and that she had loads of them with her ex. I always felt she was thinking of a reconciliation. She did try gettin back with him but seeing that he did change a lot came back to me. I never created an issue out of it, since i felt she was going thru a lot mentally and her being so sensitive i felt very reluctant to confront her. But once again seeing the way she was still in contact with him while being with me and the way she wouldn't tell him about me, insecurities started showing up in our relationship. It was when that guy started talkin engagement that i tried confronting her about it but she hung up on me.... I feel its my fault because i couldn't make her forget her ex.....
  7. Spawn
    Belinda, i know its tough on ya, even i am not working either. I left most of what i do to what i want to do. I am not caring for anyone's opinion on me as such. Everybody at my place is settled in life at my age, either they are with someone or married and have steady job. Most people laugh at me for doing what i am doing now. My gf left me when i was at the lowest point in my life. Anyways, I do get out early at 5:30 am. I am not used to gettin up so early, but i still do somehow, sometimes it sucks for a while. When there is nobody there to motivate you then you have yourself, don't forget one thing you are still alive. You are young and life is very short for feeling what you are feelin right now. Just go for it, if thats what you want for yourself, give it all. If any of your friends make you feel like a failure or a quitter then they are not your friends. Forget them and move on. Take it easy and things will get better...just take it 1 day at a time.
  8. Spawn
    i agree with the pc man. The same thing with me, i am going for my cisco course because i feel like i am good at networking and thats where my future or interests are. My dad was not supportive initially since i am spending some bux for the training not to mention the exams are little costier too. What the heck, this is what i want. The training place is almost 60kms away and i travel by train, by bus and then walking some more distance. I am doing it each day for the last 2 months. I have gained a lot in knowledge, lost a lot in weight and finally got my flat stomach with all the walking, travelling n stuff, feel really good about it. You are right no time for socializing but somehow i manage to catch up with my friends on sundays, i take out the car and just drop at their place without notice...
  9. Spawn
    okane its very hard....i am also going thru a lot emotionally cause of my breakup. no offence but try not to compare any of em to your ex.....take your time, all girls are not the same. stay strong, have fun and hope it works out.
  10. Spawn
    hello every one, its me and my same old rant of not able to forgive myself, i dunno somehow the way she told me (my ex the last and final time she called) that who the hell i am to forgive her. Something still makes me feel i am the one who screwed big time in the relationship although somewhere i believe we both were responsible for its demise. i did tell her that i take the whole blame for the failure and i do forgive her, probably that might have inflated her ego a lot. But i dunno all the things she threw at me is going round and round in my head. Like me being a moron for telling her to stop emailing me and again for taking her route to go for my work. I think that made her think i was stalking her or somethin...the feeling sux since i am not that kinda guy. I have left her alone after Jan 2nd, the day we broke up offcially, never met her, or seen her but i did go to some of the places we used to visit together with my friends.All this makes me feel i should avoid going to these places for sometime even if it meant going out with friends. Just feel bad about the whole thing......am just sick and tired of blaming myself over and over again for the breakup. I know she didn't deserve me but why do i have this feelin, i just can't understand myself sometimes. I think the day i fall in love again, that will be the day i will fully get over my ex. These memories will then probably start hurtin less and less..... Thanks for readin......life's movin slow though.
  11. Spawn
    i don't think you really need to break NC to deliver the things back. Stay Strong...ask someone whom you can depend upon to deliver the stuff back. Good luck.
  12. Spawn
    SlapaBeochphobia : never heard about it...... tried an internet search nuthin came up.....gotta be some new phobia u got there
  13. Spawn
    good luck suker......hope you get the best of the bestest.
  14. Spawn
    Good decision, nice song ....stay strong.
  15. Spawn
    Believe me the feelings never go away so soon, if she had a change of mind then it was happenning from some time back. I think you should do NC, a break of some sorts would probably make her think about it. I think she has some issues to sort out and only she can do it.
  16. Spawn
    i have this thing going on, my phobias keep on changing. current phobia : bumping into the EX.
  17. Spawn
    Wow.....great stuff, orlander. thanks for the suggestion, I think might wanna try that. My darn printer is not working so will have to write it down with my own hands.....Markers would help though. hey i actually didn't feel that bad today....seems getting out of the house and going about your daily life is the key to gettin over your exs. Theres a feeling of relief in my mind....my heart is not at all feeling heavy anymore. Good sign.
  18. Spawn
    Thanks Chai much appreciated....i have lots of things to work upon, i am still alive thats the best part of it. will keep you all posted of my progress...
  19. Spawn
    Thanks Lady Bugg, i am relieved though that its over in all terms. Thats the only positive thing coming out after 3 months of breakup. I have finally resigned to the fate that she wasn't and will never ever be the one for me. Thanks all take care.....gotta get busy with my life now.
  20. Spawn
    i haven't blocked her, just made a filter to directly delete the messages. No more mails from her, i am just not in a mental status to handle her stupid and hurtful emails. I never took unknown phone calls for a month just out of blue she called up. Never thought she would call up after such a long time.
  21. Spawn
    Sorry guys i think i acted pretty immature, dunno i just lost my cool when i saw my mail return back to me from my gfs mail box as she has blocked me for good. After the call and after all the feelings subsided, i kinda recalled what all stupid stuff she threw at me. At one point i thought she threatened me to never venture into her locality, as if she owns it. Her dad is in intelligence and she thinks she can just scare me with all that crap. Anyways i dunno why my ex never understood my love for her. i have never stalked her ever and i used to go by the place since i have some work nearby and that was the shortest route. But now i have found a way to get past that place even though i have to spend some more for this. Worth every penny i guess though. In a fit of rage i mailed from a new id (again very immature), couldn't control it.....i just mailed her this I just can't bear this anymore.......how can somebdy be so bad, don't they have a heart, don't they get hurt when they hurt someone..... I am back to feelin the way i used to feel long before, not eating much, no sleep.....can't concentrate on anythin right now. Just one contact from my ex and this is what i go through. Thanks for reading...
  22. Spawn
    it takes time and for everybody its different some never get over with it since they don't want to let go or for other reasons like being very close to their exs or for all the nice times they spent with them. For me, i know its gonna take much longer than a year or may be even sooner, but eventually i will, since i have now reasons to believe she didn't deserve me at all. i relate to your story little bit since my ex too never said sorry or ever repented for betraying me and hurting me so much in the relationship....It was never her fault, she apparently still thinks betraying me and hurting me in the relationship was right on her part. Whenever you think about her make sure you force yourself to think about the problems or issues you had, i know its hard but with time all these feelings will subside, her memories won't make you feel the way you are feeling now and you will be on your way. Good luck.
  23. Spawn
    as expected once the feelings subsided i am sad once again. I don't feel any pain, haven't cried for 3 months, don't feel anythin for me or for her....just numb and sad about the whole thing Orlander thanks, i have put up a calendar, although i broke the 4 week NC for a reason, i feel the kiddin part shouldn't have been there in the mail, she might have felt i am kinda stalking her or making fun of her by sending that fugoogle link. You were right i can never ever think of any kinda relationship with this girl leave alone friendship. To tell you the truth it sux to know she is not the person anymore whom i loved so much. She has probably moved on and pretty much over with me.
  24. Spawn
    Good post orlander, so nicely put, if i had read it earlier i might not have broke the NC and could have let my ex keep on messaging me forever. Well.....no regrets atleast i got to know that she hasn't changed a bit still. keep up with the NC guys.....we need to get a hold of our lives. Time to be selfish.
  25. Spawn
    thanks blue, this has been some heck of a experience.........i have never seen girls so much screwed up in life. Guess she is one of a kind. Hope she does get a guy who really works it out with her and hope she has both her brain and her heart working in tandem to understand him.
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