okane24

Day 4, Mizz H, you took the words right out of my mouth. For me, I guess right now in the beginning, it seems like each day gets harder and harder. Does she really NOT CARE about me this much that she doesn't even want to talk to me? After everything we've been through, now we've resorted to being strangers... She even missed our arranged "Date Night" on skype (she's also an LDR). That one hurt alot. She knows I'm staying away for her and she couldn't muster up the nuts to honor her promise of our ONE date night a week over the webcam. I'm starting to hate her...Who is this girl? Who did I fall in love with? Sometimes the pain and regret and hurt is unbearable. I cry in the morning and at night just thinking about her when I lay in, what used to be our bed...Now its just me alone in it... Day 5 tomorrow, I gotta survive. Life is too good... SIgh, I miss her.

So it happens that YOU screw up and I get punished for it. You've been cancelling on me three days straight now. I am so sick and tired of your B*Sh*. I hate waiting around for you. You NEVER put me first. Everything and everybody else is more important to you than me. So apparently you can cancel on me but BE OK enough to go out with your friends until now. And you know we have to up early tomorrow morning. What the h* is your problem? I am starting to hate everything about you. What do you do for me? When the H* have you ever put me first. When is the last time you went out of your way to do something to make me happy????????????????? You're leaving in a few weeks and I'm almost glad its over. You SELFISH Ba*****D.

Its morning now and you're getting ready to go to school... All I want to do is call you or text you and tell you how much I love you and miss you and want you to stay with me. "Good morning honey. I was thinking about you and want to tell you how much I love you." I don't think you'll appreciate this message though. I think you'll just shrug it off. I think if I act aloof and that I don't care, you'll respond to that more. I hate this! I hate having to play this game. I love you honey, stay warm today, its cold outside...

Thanks guys. Got frazzled yesterday night. She showed up late at this bonfire we had for the coworkers and friends and she brought the young dude. I didn't meet him. I was really thrown off. I sort of ignored her. We were all about to leave, so she was only there for like 15 minutes, but when they left she came up to me and started talking. To be honest, I have no clue what she even said. I was pissed/mad/whatever that I saw the guy she was "hangin out" with. He wasn't even all that. Anyhow she left and I was kinda cold and said, bye, no hug, no real acknowledgement. Not sure exactly what to do. A) Give up completely B) Ask her tomorrow at work to go salsa dancing on Wed or Thurs night and let her know I'm interested, or C) ignore her for a little while and she if she asks me to go eat or hang out. She is getting her surf board soon and we're supposed to go surfing together. But I don't want it to be just "as friends" I'm willing to take a risk and make it awkward and lose her as a friend if she doesn't go out with me. I want to date her, not just be her guy friend on the side. Any suggestions would be great. I'm a little on tilt right now. (poker term for when you're losing a lot of money and you keep spending money thinkin you'll win it back and make dumb choices cuz you're not thiinking straight.)

I'll definitely try out that advice. I wanna surprise her and take her to this salsa club we talked about. Theres great food at the restaurant upstairs and then we can drink and go downstairs and take some lessons. Get physical with her. Hows that sound? My only reservation is that some Don Juan might or will whisk her away with his pro salsa moves. I'm just a beginner. Thanks for the info by the way.

What do I do!!! Here's the situation. Mary is my co-worker. We used to sit right next to eachother but she moved depts and is now on a different floor, so I hardly see her at all. I've known her for about 3 months now. We have a lot of common interests, jogging, food, and now recently surfing. Two weeks ago I actually went to her apt and picked up her board that she let me borrow. Last Wednesday I took her out to lunch to thank her, first time we've hung out, just the two of us. Great conversation, laughing, getting to know eachother type of stuff. We talked about doing things together, like surfing, when she gets her new board, and going out to eat more often. Thats when she brought up this restaurant close to her apt that she wanted to try out. So on Monday, I ask her to go try out this restaurant with me. She agrees. I pick her up tonight, we have some dinner and wine, and have a great time. Getting to know you stuff, family, work, etc...Then I drop her off at home, use her restroom real quick and give her a hi five kind of goodbye. Didn't seem quite right for a hug, definitely not a kiss. Well, I could have hugged her, that woulda been cool, but didn't. Here's the kicker, during dinner, she brings up dating and asks me the youngest girl I've ever dated and I say 21. Mary is 25 and I'm 29. We laugh about it and I ask her the youngest for her, she nonchalantly mentions a guy she is "hanging out" with that is 23. I play it cool and just ask how is it dating a younger guy, and she mentions the maturity isnt there. I then change topics. I DO NOT want to be her guy "friendzone" girlfriend... Is it too late for me to get romantic with her? We sorta make plans to go out again to another restaurant in downtown. I mean its there, if I ask her, she'll go, but how should I proceed? I NEED HELP!!! On the one hand, she is my co-worker and I do occasionally run into her. We do have mutual friends. So I don't want it to be awkward for her. On the other I want to date her and let her know I'm interested and find out where she's at, before she gets too serious w/this young dude (no offense to young dudes). So, what do you girls make of this? Am I JUST her friend? Do I have a shot in the future? How do I change this around? Guys same question too. Thanks for your help.

Hey what's up. I believe you should do what makes you happy. It sounds like you're moving on and thats awesome. You do sound a little confused though, which is totally understandable. I think you should keep your ex in your life, if its bearable and you can possibly stand seeing her with someone else. It sounds like you still really care about her but are just moving on, which is the right thing to do. I try not to burn bridges, we all got long lives and you never know who might come in and out of your life, and for what reasons... Hey thanks for the comments about my situation. My ex is coming home in a few weeks, back from Asia and I'm sure I'm gonna be on this site, cuz I'm a little afraid I might be a wreck. Knowing she'll be so close (in the same city), yet so far apart, since she broke up with me. I don't know, just taking it a day at a time. Good luck Shroom, I hope it works out, whatever you choose.

Hey Shroom, Your situation is very similar to mine. My ex left for Hong Kong for, what will be 6 months now. She left the 2nd of January. She also asked for a break. I treated her like a princess, man. Anyhow, I went NC on her like everyone here told me too. And two weeks after, just like your girl, she emailed me to see how I was doing. She apologized and said she was very sorry and felt awful. I didn't think that meant much to me. It didn't say that she wanted to get back together, so through the advice of everyone here, I didn't respond. I'm tellin you, one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. So I haven't heard back from her and I am still on NC. But let me tell you, I think about her every darn day. She was my 1st true love and to tell you the truth, even though she left me, I think I still love her. Shes actually coming back to California very soon and I'm not even sure what to do, or if she'll even call or contact me. As for me, I'm gonna try my hardest to NOT contact her. If she truly loved me and wanted me back, she would know how to do it. But the ball is in her court now. I'm done chasing after her. I've been going out and meeting girls, but none of them seem to quite measure up. I went out with her for a reason, because she was hot and fun and funny and smart and unpredictable. Not many girls I know that are like that. Sorry man, just needed to vent. Your situation sounded so similar to mine that I had to comment. I wanna wish you good luck and stay strong. Keep up the NC. If she wants you back, she'll let you know it through HER ACTIONS. Until then, keep writing here. It helps...

Whats up dude. That hurts man. I'm with ya. I haven't seen my ex for 3 months since I left Hong Kong and flew back to Cali. I haven't spoken to her for 2 months. She broke up with me on my bday. I know your pain man. I've tried to do many things to get my mind off her as well. Gym, tennis, volleyball, meeting new girls, drinking, clubbing. It's all helped, but things aren't quite the same, ya know what I'm sayin. I know it's been rough for you but hang in there. Take every day, one at a time. Each day you don't dwell upon your ex and have NC, it DOES get just a little easier. The crazy thing for me is that my ex flies back home to California soon and I'm not sure how to handle her being back. I miss her like there's no tomorrow, but it has gotten a little easier. I know what you mean by saying that other girls don't compare. Every new chick I meet or have an interest in, hardly compares to my ex. There was a reason why I was sooo into my ex, and she's a VERY hard act to follow. Not many girls have what she does.. Stay strong man, these girls WILL realize how bad they messed up, and when they come running back, we might not even be around. Good luck and keep posting...it's a great way to vent.

It's been over 3 months since I've seen her and two months since I've talked to her. I still love her. We were only together for 4 months but it was pretty incredible. She was my first true love. I saw the movie "What dreams may come" again. A dark drama about an Incredible kind of love. I cried. The couple shares an unbelievable love and they are soulmates. It's the kind of love I want to find. I thought I had it with the ex. She comes home soon from studying abroad and vacationing and I'm not so sure how to handle it. I'm sort of 'waiting' to see what will happen. I'm pretty sure it won't work out again, at least, not anytime soon, but I have hope and faith. I still really love her a ton and every moment we shared together. Shes gonna turn 22 in a few months and I just turned 29, so there's definitely an age gap, especially about how serious we are about relationships. I'm pretty dead set on a serious one and she is just experimenting right now. I wish to God that she was older and had more life experience.. If so, she coulda been the ONE. Yep, we even talked about marriage and kids together, and by no means did she shy away from that talk. Many times, she brought it up. She also said she could see us growing old together. Were they just broken promises? I don't know. The pain is a lot less, but I still think about her everyday. When I go out and it doesn't go so great in terms of meeting girls, I always compare her to the girls I see or meet. She's got em beat. She's pretty as hell and can dance and knows how to have fun. We had a blast together. Wish me luck everyone. I've been on NC for over 2 straight months and she even myspaced me a message and I didn't respond. It was sooo hard not returning her email, but I didn't. I just walked away, or at least she thinks I have. Little does she know I miss her more than ever. I gotta go now. Wish me luck everyone. I'll always love my baby, ANGEL!!!

Yeah, I had a dream about my ex too, about 4 days ago. In my dream we hadn't seen eachother for awhile and hadn't kissed in awhile. When I saw her, I gave her a long passionate kiss. The thing about our relationship was that I kissed her everyday I saw her except the very first day I met her. Then in my dream it fast forwarded to us having a baby together. I woke up in a cold sweat. It's been 3 months since I've seen her and 2 months since I've heard her voice. I do miss her badly. I wished so much for my dream to be true. I wish I could see her and kiss her again, forever...

It's Completely normal. I've been going through a major relapse myself the last 2 weeks. It sucks like hell, but I just gotta work it out. I miss my ex like crazy and even contemplate getting back with her even though she didn't treat me the best. And she dumped me in a pretty bad way. It's been 3 months since I've seen her and two months since I've talked to her. But I think of her every single day. Some days are easier than others. Good luck. Just try to work on yourself as much as possible. That's all I've got left to keep me looking towards the future...It will get better.

So I still miss her a lot. It's Mothers Day today. Happy Mothers Day all of the Mothers here. I wanted soo bad to call her mom and wish her a Happy Mothers Day. Then I thought about it. Did I just want to call her mom, or did I really want to check up on my ex, to see how she was doing? I saw no benefit in calling. I thought I'd be a nice guy. I AM a nice guy. They know it. I never changed. My ex broke up with me. It would be just an excuse to show my ex how NICE I was and hopefully have her think of me and wish that we were back together. I think I'm done though. I would still be trying too hard to get back into her life. I thought long and hard and I don't think she ever truly loved me that much. She just went along for the ride. The fun, exciting ride I took her on. She never really gave, in the relationship. At least not like I did. Not even close. So it makes sense that she broke up with me. She really wasn't that into me. It's really hard to accept, but I thinks that's the truth. If it werern't she wouldn't have ended it. I'm just venting, but I also took her off my top 8 in my myspace. I would look at her picture everyday. Too much. If she sees that I took it off, I'm concerned that she'll think I really hate her and maybe that'll be the end of it forever. I don't know. I'm still way too invested in her. I'm trying to move on. If she ever does try to get back with me, she'll have to try real hard, because I deserve better. The sad part is, I don't think she'll ever try that hard. I think I would take her back. This whole thing sucks. Anyhow, gotta go. Gonna do something positive for me today and every day now on... See y'all later.

Whats up notanymore. Thanks for the words of encouragement. Man, relationships are tough, aren't they? To get over my ex, Angel, I tried talking to this new girl I met about 2 months ago, and go out with her. She's a real cutie. It's not working out though, so all I can do is think about how good it was with my ex. It's funny (not really) but I'm just bein real. Anyhow, I'm doing A TON of stuff for myself lately. I THINK IT'S OKAY TO BE SELFISH. It's my time right now. I'm not naturally that way, but sometimes you HAVE to take time for yourself. I guess you can't give what you don't have...so I've been building my confidence and self esteem back, slowly but surely. I'm positive that the better I become, the more I can give to others, which is what truly makes me happy. But, just to let you know what I've been doing. 1) training for a marathon in june. Ran 17 miles on saturday and eating right. 2) Just went rock climbing with the church group yesterday. 3) I just came home from playing tennis with a coed group that meets every Tuesday. 4) play a weekly poker game with the boys 5) just got off the phone with a mutual 'girl' friend thats real attractive, just getting to know her, 6) played volleyball last sunday for 4 hours on the beach 7) going salsa dancing where they teach you and randomly pair you up with girls in the group (lots of fun) on thursday. So... just keeping busy, active and meeting new people. It's not easy I tell you, but, slowly but surely you CAN become who you want to be, one step at a time. Hope that helps.

Good luck Fishey. Looks like you've just joined us here on this site. It's done wonders for me. If not for enotalone. I would have called her, texted her, myspaced her a million times. But after reading about NC and the REASONS why it works, I haven't budged. My ex even wrote me last month apologizing and said she felt awful. You have NO IDEA how hard it was for me to not write her back. But I didn't and still haven't. If it's any consolation at all, I copied this excerpt from, I believe Super Dave here, and have it on my desktop so I can always see it... "If I call her, I look weak. The longer I last without contacting her, the stronger I appear in her eyes. The stronger I appear in her eyes, the better I feel about myself. The better I feel about myself, the less I care about what she thinks about me. The less I care about what she thinks about me, the more intrigued she becomes by me. The more intrigued she becomes by me, the more of a challenge I present. The more of a challenge I present, the more likely it is that SHE will contact me....and if I'm feeling that good about myself, I can then tell her to go and jump" Hope that helps. I'm tryin...really tryin to move on, but deep inside I'll love that girl forever. Stay strong.