Spawn

hey....don't worry about being single, just be open minded, make new friends, go out with your new friends and make more friends....well, you know what? i got my first gf at the age of 27, so you are not really old or young for that matter. When time comes things will happen.....try online datin, works for many imo. Good luck!

Thanks, nikkers....will do. glad to know u made it thru.

when i sent her that mail tellin her what all problems were there in our relationship, seems i may have hurt her very much. Thought of not doin it but i had to, didn't want her to make the same mistakes with her future relationships incase she didn't want to work it out with me.....hope she takes it in the right spirit. Love is so very funny.....i feel so very hurt now. sorry guys really feelin very low today felt like takin it out somewhere. I am goin for a walk. lots of stress...... Listenin to Greenday - Jesus of Suburbia.......u people like that song? huh all u people with theirs hearts broken.....keep goin, it has to get better!

Thanks Nathalie and Lonelyinasmalltown for those kind words......keep you people posted. Cheers!

well....just keep going, there is always a next day after today.

the thing that baffles me is that she always put everythin in a very bad way like why would you want to be with a person like me, i am not a nice girl and stuff like i will screw up with my life and you go screw with urs. I felt from the beginning that this girl needed some support and somebody who could love her without loosin faith in her, she was good academics wise but left college fearin failure in her last year, although she has never failed in any of her subjects. itsok, thanks, i have been askin that question to myself for sometime now, why me? probably she being my first gf i gave her way too much importance in my life or probably the fear of loosin her over stupid reasons. ratherbesailing, glad to know and thanks for sharin. I think i got serious in the relationship way to soon....but next time i am gonna take sometime before really goin for it...but really speakin dunno how things are gonna work out. I have started NC once again but she may call on my birthday, just to wish, she has a habit of talkin her mind so it might end up with things comin up from past. I might have to tell her to please stop it though. Hope she forgets my bday. Lonelyinasmalltown, nope i really don't see a future with her.......i had this blind faith goin in me, probably somethin got better of it.

although its been a bumpy ride for me after my breakup, i have to say i am gettin stronger day by day.But the thing is i dunno if this is a stage of healing but i have started finding reasons that i could have seriously thought about a lot earlier. Like she being so sensitive to certain issues which we couldn't even have a normal discussion on, she would hung up on me on most times when ever i used to start talkin abt it. Dumping me once for crying and when i didn't pick up her call cause of my mobile loosin its charge, hell that was one hard time makin her understand that it wasn't my fault. Even when the last time we talked before breakup, it was the same scene, it was very important for me to know where exactly i stood in the relationship, after she hurt me a lot day after day sayin to leave me, she doesn't want me and that i am only there for her because i want her, and that i would soon forget her and go for someother girl. Whenever i used to lend her my shoulders, she used to think i am sympathizin with her, pityin her and she hated it. I used to tell her i am her boyfriend and i felt like being there for her during her bad times. But she said the same thing on more than one occasion, and that all really hurt my feelings although she was the one who used to call me and tell about all those fights with her dad and mom n her brother. And then bcause of her problems at home she dumps me again sayin she is not happy with me. Even when i contacted her the last time i mailed sayin there were certain issues that we had in our relationship and if she was willin to work it out then we could really better our relationship, she instead sent me a mail sayin - "somewhere in your mail you called me a bad person"...so she doesn't want to be with me. I just don't know what all this means, either she is very immature to know that she was hurtin me with all those things, or she felt she was doin the right things and just never felt it could hurt me. In any case, i felt i couldn't convey my feelings in a proper way to her. I am by nature a very carin person, will do anything for my family/ friends, but that was one person i cared a lot about and she really misunderstood me on lot of occasions. Anyways to add to the confusion, i asked her once after she dumped me seein me cryin, what was the problem with me. The thing she said was that i don't like my man to cry and he shud be strong before me and then endin with "you(me) are a complete package and any girl would love to be with you" The thing that really pissed me off was when she compared my cryin thing to someother occasion when her ex ( her 1st bf) reacted the same way. She said that guy cried because it was genuine low moment for him. Anyways i felt pretty low at that time cause i felt i was about to loose her and i did. If i am like datin a girl probably sometime after i get settled down with all of my emotions, and probably get along very well with some girl, would it happen to me again.I understand having differences on opinions but do some girls really work it out with their bf's. Well she was my first gf? Thats what scares me could there be girls like her out there. My friends have all gone thru their share of breakups, thats what really scared me in the first place to date any girl. Anyways thats in the past. Thanks for readin....hope am not ventin again.

kindness, honesty, patience, maturity. never bothered abt intelligence and absent mindedness....ha

first of all make it a point that you don't contact her and yes you can gain her respect. By being yourself, being successful in whatever you do in life, giving it all you have. If you are thinkin a lot about her, how she feels and stuff then you have loads of spare time in your hands. Get out there and do something for yourself for a change. Being single has also its benefits, atleast now you can do what you couldn't when you were with her. Take advantage..... Good luck

hey there are many girls out there who really like you and care for you the way you are.....none of those stupid thinkings and reasonings. Good luck.

comparing most things i did to what her ex did..... her being so sensitive, dumping me for stupid reasons like me cryin once and others like my mobile loosin its charge and me out of range.

thanks itsok, but i feel i needed to, going with my heart here for one last time, i know i am not proving anything here....absolutely nothin. She gave me a call after that and said she now feels she is a very bad person for whatever she did and doesn't understand why i would still want her back. She said its better she stay single and stop messin around with guys and that i will get a better girl who really loves me the way i am. hmm, anyways i said its how we react to certain things in life that makes us feel that we are a bad person, i didn't give her any false hopes nor fooled around with her, if she doesn't want me in her life or doesn't want to work out her issues in the relationship, fine no problems. I said to take care of her health and do well in her future endeavors. and hence forth i won't be bothering her at all. Her tone had changed, blamings gone, no more sudden hangin or bangin up of phones....well i hope she does really does well in future. Thats it.....i am finally done with her, touchwood.

Hi everyone, I had recently posted here regardin how i got a call from my ex accusing me of lots of things that i never did, gettin mails not threatening but still sayin somethin that doesn't make sense to me. Anyways the thing, i am trying somethin which could be really stupid on my part, could either backfire or atleast make her understand what it takes for a relationship to work out. I am going to tell her everything once again in a more detailed manner but politely, although she did all those things like betraying me, hurting me on many occasions, i dunno what i am going to gain from this but hoping somethin good would come out of it. either : * she would understand what all things went wrong and probably finally decide to move on. * she would try working out with me, although i am determined if i getback i won't be taken for a ride. * she comes to know about all those things that wasn't right in the relationship, probably takes it as a lesson for her future relationships. * she would say no fine you go your way i go my way..... in any case i hope she stop accusing me of whatever went wrong and really either moves on or works it out with me. I have moved on and am really not upset by her behaviour but still i want her to settle down with her emotions, hope this goes the right way.

4 months on and off relationship....almost 1 month on and off NC all from her side though. atleast the on and off thing is common in everythin we did... well, i don't miss her anymore.....still do think about her and her actions/reactions during the relationship and the thing that irritates me the most is that she knows all that she did was wrong and she thinks she is a bad person for whatever she did, but at no point ready to work it out in the relationship. Makin an excuse of it to be single was another reason to make me piss off at myself sometimes. oh well......i may start ventin and rantin again. doin fine tho......with all those not eating days, my hair has really started to fall....takin a tall on my health, no drinkin, no smokin....just plain ol stress.

"I ask her what did I do this time to plz tell me, all the answer I got is cuz I deserve to be hit and that if it's all my fault if she gets upset." Don't let the incident pass....stand up for yourself, otherwise she will think you can take anythin from her, in other words she might take you for granted in future. You can't be treated like that make her understand that, if she can't, you know very well what to do.

yup, thanks for the advice, i am not looking back....no matter what. I think the NC did somethin good, have started forgetting most of her. Not recognisin her voice was one thing. hope it gets better from here. Cheers!

Am not going to ask her that DN?...kiddin. seriously I have no idea to what she is referring to, i have never made a contact, last time i sent her a mail, i had wished her well for the future and thats about it. That was on Jan 16th. Have no clue on what she is doin in her life? Imagine i couldn't recognise her voice thru the phone too. She called from some other line.Her voice has also changed a bit. I dunno whether i am supposed to reply to this mail. What reply could it be? i have no clue what she is talkin about.

ok....i read it. She says she has no issues any more with whatever i did with her life and that she can't control what i did or am doing with her life. Ends it by saying that i can continue to screw up my life and she will try to screw up her life and will screw it big time. Kinda feel concerned for her though......she has lot of misunderstandings regarding me. Its grown so much that i do feel even if i talk to her personally it would just cause more harm than good.

The concert was great. Bryan Adams still rocks. My Ex has sent me an email.....really really scared to open it. but i am sure its full of blames all on my part.

man i feel so confused with this again......thought was gettin over it.

Hi... she broke the NC.....i couldn't figure out who it was callin, started takin things casually first, no talk about anything what happenned in the past. All of a sudden she tells me why i was so serious about her in the first place, since her mom and me had talked about my relationship with my ex a lot. She thinks i screwed it up big time in her life. Her dad thinks she flirts around with boys and stuff because of me. I dunno what i did so bad to her. She says it all because i talked to her a mom and said lot of things about her problems with her parents. I have never done that. I told her i have never talked about her family problems with her mom, she was sayin i don't believe you anymore and that she doesn't care what i have to say. i said fine, if she doesn't want to listen to me why the heck are we talkin. I hung up since she was going on shoutin and sayin that i was so serious and then backed off and that i have screwed her a life over and over again. I just dunno what to do with this. i am totally upset after this? She is not even listening to my side of the story. I have to go to a music show tonight....Bryan Adams, hope i enjoy it.

i did this in my college days....it did work tho. You may find it lil stupid. I taped one my friends dogs barkin thing and some other weird/ scarry sounds on to a cassette and asked her to play it loud if her ex came by to their house in the night.It worked the very first day itself. He was never to be seen again near her house. Although it sounds funny and rather stupid idea it could backfire as well. Anyways call the police, i know i would if at all it didn't stop with a "please go away" thing.

Thanks guys....i hope those of you still on NC keep on going. Just keep your chin up and have faith in your self. You do definetly get over your ex's....and thats somethin i have started feelin already. could be little early though, dunno , just feel nice about myself and my single status.

Today being the 16th day of NC for me.......i just never felt so good about it. I never really thought about my ex....and when the thoughts came by i was not at all feelin sad or angry or guilty. Don't know what this means but hey the cisco course that i enrolled for, the very first day i saw this girl, very beautiful and we did have a chat, not long but at the end i made an * * * * out of myself by crackin a stupid joke.I forgot to ask her name also... Anyways great i did that, with all the feelin abt rebound thing not goin that well with most of the people, i ain't gonna make myself fall for it atleast not that soon. Hope this stays the way it is and finally i do get to see some girls gettin into networking in a big way. Good goin girls.....keep em comin.

Heartache for sure.