Spawn

actually she is just pissed off very much since i did say a lot in that email about me solely taking the blame for the failure of the relationship and she did what she felt was right in her opinion and i have no hard feelings regarding whatever happenned between us. I have never blamed her any time even when she left me for her ex and then came back, never made an issue out of it for she was surely hurting a lot at that time.

yes bella i am hurting, may take time to heal also. Its ok i can live with that rather than sitting and missing someone who never gave me the respect in the relationship. i still remember vaguely during the call she was saying i don't care about forgiving you or you forgiving me.....She said she wouldn't apolozise for whatever she did in the relationship. i think the day she loves someone very much and he dumps her for somebody else then only she will realize what it feels like being at the receiving end. Although i always said that mistakes where commited from both sides. I still took all blame for the failure of the relationship perhaps that might have made her ego go beyond the universe.

well ya, Bugg i thank her for that favour too and have returned it by blocking off her remaining addresses in my account too, heck i have blocked the domain only, even if she registers with a new user id. All future mails will be deleted without confirmation.

ha.....thanks guys, yup its over its over its over and i am finally free, she has blocked me from one of her accounts i just got one of my mails back. Gr8 work my ex. U have to be given an oscar for all the pain and the drama you put me thru. You surely deserve one. Pebu you never deserved me.....

Hi all i broke NC the other day and then today too. But only to make my ex understand that she shouldn't mail me anymore for favours ( such as the other day she sent me a mail asking to forward a song)....I sent the song as attachment anyways with this mail I also told her incase she wanted any favours from me in near future she can just do link removed. Then i thanked her for not wishing me on my birthday and making my day again.I then lied to her that i sometimes wander about her place and was almost so near to her home but i didn't feel like knocking on the door. I know i shouldn't have said that and given that link, would have made me sound very mean.I have always been nice to her anyways. was just kiddin though.....she felt offended and then i got a call from her. i knew she would call, but i dunno why but i couldn't help myself just burst into laughter and kept on laughing i took the call, and she said stop acting like a moron and don't laugh, stop mailing me and hanging about my place, i don't care what you do with your life and just stop doing this, don't contact me in any form in future. I was happy and really happy to get the words from the devils own mouth.I said fine and we hungup. She thinks i am sitting here waiting for her response and thinking i will never get over her, what an ego man......she hasn't lost her touch, the same behaviour, the arrogance, the brains and the body to match for. I think all the begging and stuff has boosted her ego a bit. I know i was little harsh on her this time but for her personal growth and mine too i had to do this. Thank goodness she dumped me.....i was just feelin guilty for not being with her , missin her each and every day but now i really thank her from the bottom of my heart for dumping me and not loving me anymore. i sent another mail to all her accounts after that call, to please never ever think about contacting me.....its over in all respects and please grow up, stop contacting your ex's.I felt like saying * * * * off Nia right there but stopped after all i wasted my love on this * * * * *. I also found out new ways of gettin past her home, she apparently knows i go past her house each day for my cisco training. its little expensive now but atleast i will not bump into her in that * * * *ing place accidentally. Sorry guys for all those swears, i had to let it out somewhere. i know when this feeling subsides i would be little sad can't help it......i am the sentimental kind. Thanks for all your patience and the advices for helping me thru this crap.

very evil of me....

doing ok.......just the odd expectation of bumpin into my ex. But i always resist doin stuff that can lead to such stupid alien encounters. was hearin to Chronicles of Narnia Soundtrack the other day, very good, u might want to grab a CD. 15th will be kind of first month anniversary of strict NC.Think my ex was smart enough to understand that i won't do the friends thing since i didn't reply to her mail. I feel empty somewhere in my heart, a mixture of numbness and sadness and also some very small but unrealistic hope of her understanding the issues we had in our relationships and workin it out, someday. aahh well thats gonna be there for some time now or perhaps for ever.................. way to go....

man, that sucks very much, sorry man but you should completely cut contact with this girl. Very unhealthy for you in my opinion. Don't hate yourself, hate that girl for she can do, whatever she did with you ,to anyone. Change your phone no, remove all darn email, msn contacts. You deserve better!

fear of gettin some phobia.... fearnophobia.](*,)

thanx, thlst3. Just waitin for the next day to begin..... Orlander, thanks, i am tryin in all possible ways this time. The thing is even though i am not with her, i know it will hurt her if i let her knew about the NC thing, i think she may be over with me thats why she started contactin me again anyways forget it who knows what she has got in her mind. She is in real mess with her life, i just don't want to hurt her by sayin stuff that might make things worse for her. Its better to leave her alone and let her sort things out. She is 22 and i have told her to complete her graduation this time, atleast that would land her some good jobs in future. All depends on whether she really wants to sort things out. The friends thing was just a thought. We don't have any common friends and seein the lack of commitment from her side during our relationship, i don't think its even remotely possible to be friends with her. I don't think its gonna come from her side and i am not going to contact her in near future. its been almost 4 weeks now. I also haven't met her in the new year only because she started keepin limited contact and then stopped contact all of a sudden. She is very stubborn though, if i had replied to this mail, she might have contacted again. But now she might think somethin else and stop mailin altogether. Good for everybdy.

kell thanks i already feel better, its good to take it out somewhere.well tomorrow onwards another module of my cisco training starts. Its early morning, the training thingy is just walking distance from her place. I would still have to go past her house, she sleeps very late and gets up very late too and that is probably the only thing that gives me strength to take that route and also the fact that she has no clue what i am doin with my life. I am happy that i haven't met her brother, her mother was very sweet to me (on phone ofcourse), she was very eager to meet me once but luckily my ex didn't like the idea of me meetin up with any of her family members. Anyways point is these people take a morning walk sometimes and now i know why sometimes not knowin some people can be so very good. I am going to see all those places where we used to meet up, can't help it thats the only way i know to reach early. I have been thru that place a couple of times after our breakup. Tomorrow onwards its gonna be a daily routine for me for about a month or 2.

kellbell, thanks, would it be a nice idea to be friends with this girl? She has lots of issues in her life which only she can deal with it. She has problems with her parents, brother and before the breakup me too.She never understood my feelings for her when i was there with her. Whenever i tried to be of any help for her, she just hated it, would always say she wants to do it alone and don't need any of my help. I am not contacting her now,probably down the line when i have no feelings for her, but then her attitude is such if nobody makes her feel good abt it or ignores her at some point then she cares a damn about them later on. although i am ignorin her mails now, like she did a while back, i think she might do the same thing if i contacted her after a long time from now. i dunno what is it, her mails look very immature probably i am not supposed to overanalyze things here. I have redirected her mails to trash.

may i suggest Buddha Bar. Not many like them tho. Somethin different to listen too. Don't worry......i am gonna go past my ex's house, the road and then the places where we used to hang out. Its tough i know as i am also going thru it. Just feel the pain and be there for you. I remember when i used to fail in some subjects in my school i used to think about how better i would do the next time and i always did.that might sound stupid but things do get better.

sorry guys feel like puttin somethin on this board again... after that stupid mail from my ex : though i deleted it and maintaining strict NC, that mail is still goin on and on in my mind....can't get it out. The way she had composed it, she had apparently nuthin to ask about me in the mail, there was only a subject for the mail : need favour blah blah and her signature in the mail, thats about it. So much of disregard to someone who loved her so much. I just can't understand it , when she had made it clear she doesn't want to be with me then why she has to send such mails....imagine i was the one gettin upset as well as also feelin rather relieved for not gettin a mail from my ex on my birthday thinkin as our coach said " she is doing a big favour by not giving me any false hopes" and then out of blue she asks me for this favour. What does all this mean? I don't know why she has to do all this stuff. Why can't our ex's think that we are going thru some really hard times emotionally and tryin so hard each day to get back to our own lives. In short if its over, why not just leave us alone......is she finding ways to be friends with me again? whatever it is, i have made more friends and have started going out of the house on a daily basis, so have no urge of contactin her at all, somehow got the strength to not take any unknown calls too.

I listened to that song once more....laughed again and don't plan to give it to her at all...hi ha. Anyways its easily available everywhere on the internet. yup.....that mail is gone straight to trash. Had a filter created to direct her (mails ofcourse) to trash. always hated the way she mailed one of her friends with just Hi ! hope you are doin fine? bye....thats it. kinda childish and immaturish..... Never knew she did do that to me too one day..... I should have sent image removed as a consolation tho. way to go my sweet ex... Thanks all...

Hello everyone, well what do we have here, just now got a mail from her asking me a favour to forward her a song, that i had sung her long time back. Its a very funny song dedicated to smokers, but anyways what kinda ex is my ex, she can't even stay on strict NC. nuthin inside the mail, she has the subject as "need favour : forward that song" rubbish....](*,) she may be thinkin i am sittin here waitin to contact her...huh I had promised her i wouldn't mail her on that id...and she knows i never break any of my promises. But she has one more id tho.... * * *.

you have to make an effort, try to learn somethin new.....don't stay at one place all the time. I usually start doin somethin the moment i start thinkin about my ex. I have taken up training for CCNP, that is helpin me a lot to concentrate on somethin new. Usually work around 5 to 6 hours in labs....so most of the time i am not thinkin of her, it really helps. Get out and make new friends.... I am not dating anymore even if somebody asks me out i may have to tell them i am on a break from dating....hihi, just doesn't feel like gettin into a relationship so soon. Watchin comedies do help too expecially brit comedies, i have coupling and office. good luck dave.....its gotta get better!

huh.....let it pass. If you don't care much about the bracelet then forget it. I have a sneaky feelin about this. Don't go with him. Don't look back. He is just finding excuses to meet up with you. You don't even have to reply to his messages. keep up with the NC.

The pain is both sides, believe me they too go through the same pain,doesn't matter if you are the dumpee or the dumper, my ex did call me after the first month of on n off NC(we were still in contact over email), it was a big setback for me she was just plain blaming and accusing me of lot of things that i had never done in the relationship. For things to settled down a bit and for you to get hold of your life, you need to go NC. NC is for us...let them contact us, we all do it, i did it, contactin her, that actually gives them some reason to get over us rather quickly. In my case i said NC forever only because she stays about 2 hours from my place, there is no chance each of us could ever bump into each other, we have no common friends...etc etc. There are days when i miss her very much but u just have to concentrate on your life for now.

i also tried the friends thing with my ex but until i realised she was just tryin to hold on to me cause i was very nice, supportive n faithful to her in our relationship, but she didn't treat me well still. Had to let go of her once i knew she was again tryin her old ways of talkin to her ex and goin out with him. Stick with NC i had to make myself believe each and every day that this woman doesn't deserve me and that she should understand or feel what it is like to miss me and my love for her, she didn't care for it much when i was there in her life. I am in my 3rd week of NC, hopin to continue this forever...... Keep it goin......good luck!

probably you should think of the bad things or the issues in your relationship. The way he/she treated you, you can probably right down all the bad things about the relationship and go through it when you feel the urge of contacting him. I have actually moved all furniture in my room, it helps. Have deleted her contacts from IM's, I had blocked it earlier but finally had the courage to delete all of em, even those from hotmail and yahoo. Had her cards and gifts put in some odd place, i don't really bother about it much now....atleast i don't have to get up and look at them everyday. When i am really stressed up i usually get out of the house and walk and walk till i get exhausted. When i get back, i am so tired i just drop dead on the bed. I am in the 3rd week of NC.....don't feel any urge of contactin her anymore. She wasn't worth it anyways. i would like to quote Churchill here: "If you are going through hell, keep going...." Good Luck!

I broke up over email....pretty lame i know, but she didn't give me any options. She hung up on me when i wanted to know where i stood in the relationship because of her lack of commitment, she apparently was still talkin to her ex and would go out with him if they felt so, he apparently was preparing to get engaged to her, huh...anyways,she wouldn't call me for the next few days. The way she hung up and the way she treated me in the relationship....i didn't see this going anywhere. Anyways i did leave a door open on her to get back but after one month of NC she calls back, sayin i screwed her life and promised her mother to marry her and backed off. I thought i was the one who got dumped. i still politely explained her all the issues in our relationship again thinkin she would probably work it out this time.....i was wrong, she preferred to be single and just wanted to get out of the relationship with all sorts of lame excuses for being the person she thought she was. She felt that would be the right thing to do, very unpredictable mindwise.I know she might have got back with her ex now. i did get all those mails from her tellin me to screw up with my life. Glad its over...pretty hard to put up with such a girl. She is sweet otherwise, just has a confused heart for lovin 2 guys at the same time....now thats bad, sux big time and is very much unhealthy for anyone to be in.

hey steve....don't make it a issue, if you like her stick with the realities of curfew otherwise, you know down the line if you become upset things may become hard, relationship may get effected. My ex also had this curfew thing, she had to get back to her place by 6:30PM , weekdays we could be out till 9:00 PM. I had no problems with it....although we never liked to leave so early, well u have to have patience and lil unjustment thingy. We managed the curfew thing by talkin on phones pretty late nights.....it was fun. "That is very high schoolish. at this age I'm looking for a girl with more independance" that makes things difficult, make sure you don't hurt her because of this. Take it easy pal... Good luck!

hihi... thanks grate.... take care man.

yea...atleast she is sticking to being single or whomsoever it is she wants to be with, otherwise i know she would have atleast given an email. Knowing her so well, I don't think its about false hopes, its about what she wants and what she really thinks is right for her. All i wanted was she stick to somethin....pretty unpredictable in her actions, thats why this time i am happy she is showin some real commitment in atleast maintaining no contact and moving on with her life. the last time she broke the nc after 1 month of no contact, i was pretty upset by it with all the accusations and blamings from her side. That was one big setback for me. Hope she also gets over with it and is at peace.