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KweenofDenyl

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Everything posted by KweenofDenyl

  1. KweenofDenyl
    Ooooooo, you need to get rid of this one quick like a bunny. Then you need to get thyself into some therapy or at the very least a support group for co-dependency. He is NOT good for you or your son and your first priority needs to be yourself and your child--NOT THIS MAN. You can and WILL find a better person to have a relationship with, who will be a role model for your son and a loving partner to you.
  2. KweenofDenyl
    It sounds to me like you are hoping this behavior can be explained by a sudden-yet-expected hormonal upsurge. That is probably the case, however, if you ask her about it now or try to talk about the difficulty you had with her behavior that evening, it will just further exacerbate the situation. Wait a day or two until the hormones have dropped off a bit. If it's hormonal, she'll be able to laugh about it at that point, if it's NOT then I would pause to consider if you want this to move beyond a "low-level" relationship...
  3. KweenofDenyl
    I too have come late to this post but want to throw my two cents in the ring. First, I do not recommend giving her the letter. She will not suddenly develop the feelings you want her to have or the skills to be a mother. Second, you might want to check into the laws in your state regarding responsibility for parents--in my state I will become legally and financially responsible for my parents when they can no longer care for themselves. I could be forced to pay the nursing home bills for the two people that failed me the most in my life! Third, just how far are you wanting to move, because I'm the chairwoman of my school board and we have a few openings for this next year.....
  4. KweenofDenyl
    Here's my suggestion: Grab your man and straddle him. There isn't a "wrong" way to do it. If you do what feels good for YOU he'll get off too. Guaranteed.
  5. KweenofDenyl
    I must tell you Dako, that I've sensed the same thing. Your presense in your posts and replies is...different...and I can't think of the right way to describe it.
  6. KweenofDenyl
    I think trying to describe what being in love feels like is like trying to describe what it feels like to give birth.
  7. KweenofDenyl
    why is he online dating if "where he is right now" isn't conducive to the activity? I say delete, delete, delete!
  8. KweenofDenyl
    Humble cheekiness can be quite a turn-on. The next time you see her give her the biggest smile you are capable of and manage to look abashed at the same time. She just might forgive you.
  9. KweenofDenyl
    RayKay you crack me up! All kidding aside, I think most of us of the female persuasion can tell when a massage or the offer of a massage is just a way to get in the pants. As long as that isn't the end goal too early on in the relationship, it's ok.
  10. KweenofDenyl
    I stopped looking. Nothing has happened. Oh, I'm sure some of it is situational--where I live is fairly rural, my standards are higher these days, I am a single parent not able/interested in further procreation (why do so many men see that as a negative???). So now it's been 6 years. And let's face it, in our society women are just plain less desirable the older they get. And I'm tired of being alone. There is no magic phrase, no special place to meet "good quality" mates, no internet dating site that is going to solve it. I'm not going to read one more book with a dipsh*t title about his not being into you. I'm not going to feel sorry for myself. But most of all, I'm not going to be bitter. Nope.
  11. KweenofDenyl
    We can all tell you over and over again that you are in an abusive relationship (and I can guarantee that you are), however, ultimately the choice is yours to make and you need to make several. I strongly encourage you to contact your local domestic violence shelter and plan to attend a support group. By refusing to move out he is exerting his control over you and the relationship. I've been where you are, and the best thing I ever did was to decide that my own welfare was more important than his. How lucky is this guy- he's got 2 people looking out for him (you and himself) while you have no one looking out for YOU. The Suffolk County Coalition Against Domestic Violence has a 24-hour hotline: (631) 666-8833.
  12. KweenofDenyl
    Thanks for the replies. He's single and straight. (just to clarify). And brilliant. and slightly geeky. I think he qualifies for "shy guy" status - and that makes him harder to figure out. He is a couple of hours away--I know I have to see him in 2 wks for a big meeting where lots of other people will be but he and I will be basically presenting and running the meeting together, so it's not like I can ignore him or vice versa. I just wish I hadn't said anything at this point. I feel like it was horribly unprofessional and the thing is, I've NEVER done anything like it before-I've always let men initiate everything so I'm definitely not used to how this goes!
  13. KweenofDenyl
    Perhaps this will all be a bad dream in the morning. If not, I hope some of you out there can give me some advice as to my next move. I've worked with this guy for about a year and a half--but mostly via phone/IM with occasional face-to-face meetings. Our conversations will last for hours and we talk about a million other things aside from work. Anyway, today I told him I had a crush on him and his response was not definitive. Basically he didn't say wow great I feel the same way and he didn't say oh gee I'm sorry I can't reciprocate. BTW, several things HAVE led me to believe that he possible did feel the same. So, now I have to figure out what to say the next time I have to deal with him. Any suggestions?
  14. KweenofDenyl
    Girls thought Ted Bundy was very cute! And Charming! And how about Scott Petersen??? I wonder what Lacey would tell you to do... There's a reason there isn't a single post on here telling you it's ok to stay with him, that he won't always be like this. It is a proven fact that THIS is how it starts. If a guy gets angry because because you won't suck his * * * * and FORCES you to do it (and if you don't WANT to it's force), guess what hon? It's a friggin' felony!!! That's right. A FELONY. I wonder what those girls at your high school would think if they knew he is a sex offender? How cool would you be then?
  15. KweenofDenyl
    Barbara- a call to the National Domestic Violence Hotline is in order. They can help you figure out a plan to get out safely-with your stuff, your kids, your money, and your life. It's what they do best. 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) link removed Also, VERY IMPORTANT, do NOT let him know you have this money coming-do NOT deposit this money into a bank account unless it's a BRAND NEW ACCOUNT and your mail goes somewhere else. If it's direct deposit, take it out and put it somewhere else. Guess how I know this... Even filling out a "change of address" form at the post office won't keep him from getting your mail/checks/important stuff. Plus, you have to take everything out of your name etc. etc. It really is best if you call the hotline b/c they can map it all out and it doesn't seem daunting. Most important: STAY STRONG! WE KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!!!! You can always PM me, too. We're pulling for you!
  16. KweenofDenyl
    Antibarbie, I do hope you are surviving this ordeal...the DarkShadowKween brigade is anxiously awaiting news!
  17. KweenofDenyl
    Congratulations! I, for one, am quite proud of you--for maintaining your style and wit and general fabulousness throughout the ordeal. And for just plain kickin' his sorry a_s_s to the curb!
  18. KweenofDenyl
    hey pirate..sounds like you may have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. It really would be a good idea for you to talk to a counselor, whether its the school counselor or a private one.
  19. KweenofDenyl
    Hope you are okay. Legally, you have grounds for an order of protection now, and it sounds like it might be a good idea to get one--it can't prevent him from trying something but it means that if you need to call the police they won't just leave him there or shoo him out the door. All you need to get one is FEAR that he will harm you. Plus he sounds like the kind to harass-get drunk and pound on your door all night etc. Just in case you haven't seen these: link removed link removed link removed Also, most states have coalitions against domestic and sexual violence, web sites, hotlines etc. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE. They can all help with a safety plan and advise the best way to address the problem of getting him out of your home and keeping you safe in the process. Post soon, as we are all anxiously waiting to hear that you are alright!
  20. KweenofDenyl
    Yeah, I know...I know...I know...I'm not surprised by it, I work in a field that sees it all, everyday, but it just freaked me for a moment there I guess. I definitely am glad there are forums such as this to guide us all toward informed, safe experiences. I just see so much of the result of sex too young and it breaks my heart sometimes...keep up the good work people!
  21. KweenofDenyl
    How old did you say your baby is? I think you said 7 months...so they will be less than a year apart, no? I had a friend that got pregnant 6 wks after and then delivered prematurely by two months with the second...so she had a very special needs baby in addition to the first...I spent a lot of time helping her and her biggest problem was (honestly) trying to take two infant carseats into the grocery store. (no room for grocieries in the cart if you do!) It's mostly logistical. Anyone who has ever experienced an unwanted pregnancy and decided to keep and raise the child (as I have) will tell you the same thing--your love for the baby is just as great and truly, even though it seems overwhelming and exhausting just to THINK about it-- it will get better. In fact, since you've been pregnant for several months now, it's probably WHY you're so tired! To tell you the truth, I'm a little jealous that you could go the first 5 months or so and not even know--my 1st was wretched (for numerous reasons) and my second even more so. I had a lovely condition called hyperemesis gravidarum which causes constant nausea and vomiting while pregnant. I was so dehydrated I was hospitalized 5 times and the whole time the pastor at my ex husbands church was telling me that if I was a better wife my husband wouldn't need to hit me. Anywho, once the initial shock wears off in a few days and all is confirmed by the doc and you know that it's all good health-wise, your anxiety level will come down...just in time to break out the baby name book!
  22. KweenofDenyl
    Impudence= im·pu·dence n. 1. The quality of being offensively bold. 2. Offensively bold behavior. n 1: an impudent statement [syn: cheek, impertinence] 2: the trait of being rude and impertinent; inclined to take liberties [syn: crust, gall, impertinence, insolence, cheekiness, freshness] I think you meant "impotent". Anyway, it gave me quite a good laugh (with you, not at you ) because what sprang to my mind were the chronically horrible drivers that give me road rage every morning-as I think they exhibit "offensively bold behavior" and thereforeeee must spend a lot of time masturbating.... At any rate, I don't believe there is anything at all wrong with masturbation and the more comfortable you are with your sexuality (alone or not) the better you will become in the sack. That's my opinion anyway. And my experience.
  23. KweenofDenyl
    I've been trying to figure out how one would go about sex on a horse...I'm assuming the animal would be moving...I really can't picture this. I can't see how the motorbike would work either, without crashing anyway. At any rate, I've been seeing a lot of posts about sex/sex for the first time/how to have sex/what's wrong with my sex etc. and OMG kids having sex at 13, and I'm wondering just what is wrong that these kids don't have an adult in their life that they can ask these questions of??? I mean,what it really comes down to is responsibility for your kids, their education and their safety, right? I'm just having a hard time digesting some of it I guess. Then Dako goes and throws in horses. sheesh.
  24. KweenofDenyl
    Horses? Dako, surely you're kidding here...
  25. KweenofDenyl
    And one more thing--if you ARE preggers, state insurance should back date for anything related to the pregnancy--PM me for details if you'd like, this just happens to be my area of expertise
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