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KweenofDenyl

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Everything posted by KweenofDenyl

  1. KweenofDenyl
    Oy. Before you go nuts, can you get this confirmed? I guess I'd still be holding out hope that it's gas or something...since you don't have insurance you could go to PlannedParenthood or a low-cost clinic (depending on where you live). I know it's hard not to, but try not to freak out about drinking etc.--drinking a few times has about a one in a bajillion chance of doing something to the fetus, same with meds--those great big warnings about meds are mostly to prevent lawsuits... If you got pregnant 6 wks after baby was born that would make you 5 and a half months now--too late for an abortion anyway. Plus, (and especially so soon after baby#1) wouldn't you be able to tell just by looking in a mirror??? Keep us posted. (no pun intended)
  2. KweenofDenyl
    You might be rubbing too hard...or it might be that she doesn't climax because of any of a number of things (not comfortable "letting go", age, etc.) If she's not ready, don't force it! My guess is that she is afraid she won't do it right or feel like a failure. My gut reaction to this is quite honestly that you both are pretty young for all of this (and I know you hate to hear that! ) but when I think back to myself at that age, when I too was becoming sexually active, I was so naive and immature and uninformed! ugghh. So, here is my question for you: have you asked your gf these two questions and if not, why not? I would think she is the one to give you the answers you seek. If neither one of you is able to discuss this stuff with each other then really, should you be getting so intimate already? I hope I don't sound too old and stuffy here...
  3. KweenofDenyl
    Hi jkall, Here are my thoughts: if you are afraid, it is ABUSE. I don't want to tell you what to do or who to contact as I am in the States and I'm not familiar with social services in the UK--I hope someone else will though. Your partner's behavior and your fear of him are probably contributing to your depression, in fact I guarantee it! My ex-husband was very abusive and I believe also suffered from AT LEAST one personality disorder so I can understand how you feel--please PM me if you need to. -Kween
  4. KweenofDenyl
    It's like he's reading the same script all abusers have! His latest tactic, as pointed out by other posters, is just another attempt at control. next will more than likely be the I-love-you-so-much phase. He'll behave exquisitely for awhile trying to "win" you back, because he can indeed sense the breaking away. One more "phase" to expect with this guy is the increasing level of hostility which will probably be where he gets really violent. It might also be the next phase followed by the really-nice-love-you-so-much stuff. Either way, both will come and will come soon. Most important is for you to be safe.
  5. KweenofDenyl
    Yeah, I'd say some closure is warranted but I'm thinking more along the lines of NC closure--like a letter. Are you sure you don't want closure just for an excuse to be with him? I know from another post of yours that he has lots o' probs; the one that jumped out at me the most was that you were actually afraid of him-yet you sort of glossed over that one. He could be my ex's twin brother with what you described! The worst part? He is such a LOSER and chose to be with someone else!! So in the back of your mind you're thinking that makes YOU an even BIGGER loser! Not true! Not true! Not true! You have so much more to offer. anyway as for closure, let me ask you this--if you were on a tropical beach somewhere having a great time and not depressed, would you still want to contact him?
  6. KweenofDenyl
    the one you have no control over, of course--penis size!
  7. KweenofDenyl
    I want someone intelligent, funny, compassionate, pragmatic and tall. plus a fat wallet and a big schlong. cuz that's all women ever want, right blah17?
  8. KweenofDenyl
    Perhaps the reason behind being traded "up" is not economic but b/c a guy will lay on the couch instead of getting a job. Or b/c she's tired of picking his dirty underwear off the floor. Or maybe even because she's just plain tired of his whiny * * * always * * * * *in that someone has done him wrong...as for the rest, there are a LOT more poor women than men in the world.
  9. KweenofDenyl
    Excellent link. Have been through a "loser" and survived it--it takes an abused woman an average of 8 times leaving to get away for good. Only took me 3 but then I'm i'm above average.
  10. KweenofDenyl
    if THAT isn't the truth! the problem lies in listening to those instincts! [-(
  11. KweenofDenyl
    You're right darkblue, generalities don't help. Perhaps I'm too cynical (isn't that a much nicer word than bitter?) but I only meet men who want someone younger (!), with a trust fund and a body by victoria. rather tired of it actually.
  12. KweenofDenyl
    perhaps the commitment thing is more of an issue for american men than their counterparts elsewhere in the world?
  13. KweenofDenyl
    I hereby solemnly swear to stop assuming all men are only after "one thing"... ...just as soon as all men stop assuming that all women are either after their money or looking for a daddy for their kids.
  14. KweenofDenyl
    Sounds like an ear infection to me. I've seen an ear infection do the same to my daughter. Or just a mild bug. If she's not complaining tonight, wait until the morning and call the doc. I'm confused though why you would give a four year old a phenagren suppository after one episode of throwing up?
  15. KweenofDenyl
    Since when is showing your feelings a bad thing? Take off the mask and be yourself. And quit apologizing for it! Quit being "tired" and start being honest. And I shouldn't be allowed to post after my bedtime. sorry.
  16. KweenofDenyl
    pilot- a little insight to the female brain: she's not nearly as happy as you think she is (remember that all things GF are exaggerated right now), and her giggling on the phone and smiling all the time is probably more to do with her insecurity about herself than actual happiness. Not talking about the breakup when she gets out of the car is her way of "dealing". Good lord 'n butter man, you need NC. Even if it means livin' at the Y.
  17. KweenofDenyl
    I'm glad to see that you heard from her. It sounds to me like you might benefit from visiting with a counselor/therapist, and maybe find some help for your depression? Is this possible?
  18. KweenofDenyl
    After reading your post I find myself wondering why you doubt she will ever cheat on you. It sounds to me like she already has- at least emotionally. I don't want to recommend "the ultimatum" but if you are so unhappy with the situation (and I can't say as I blame you) then it might be time to let go. Let me ask you this-if you lived closer would this still be a problem? Have you been jealous like this with a girlfriend before? If not, I'd say your instincts are alerting you to trouble.
  19. KweenofDenyl
    Prufrocko6, You may feel like you chickened out but I think maybe you realized that the time just wasn't right. Maybe it would be easier for you to approach them when not at a family gathering? I'm also wondering if you are subconsciously counting on them hearing it from your cousins first... In any case, you are a great writer and have depth and insight beyond your years! I wish you the best with this.
  20. KweenofDenyl
    First you need to promise us that you are NOT going to harm yourself today OR tomorrow. Then we can figure out a way to help you-whether it's just exploring options for outside help or here. Please let all of us know you are okay and not going to harm yourself.
  21. KweenofDenyl
    I'm glad you stuck by your friend. I'd like to point out to all that we will never know if this is "RAPE", but it is definitely SEXUAL ASSAULT.
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