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Hawk

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Everything posted by Hawk

  1. Hawk
    Sooner or later we all get to the point where we realise that hanging on in the hope that we will get back together just won't happen. I don't know if it is them playing games with us, or trying to be gentle in letting us down. I do know that it would be far easier if they were to respect the rules of NC.
  2. Hawk
    Lion-Guy - wether she is doing it to get over you or not doesn't really matter and you will send yourself crazy trying to work it out. Great to hear that you are going to take some time for yourelf and only start dating when you are ready - I often think to myself if my ex knew how much breaking up with me has hurt then she would never do it to anyone again. I don't think she has ever been on the recieving end. But what it tells me is that you have to be careful with other peoples hearts. I know that I would never want anyone to be feeling the way I have been feeling.
  3. Hawk
    It's like she's trying to come down from you slowly, allowing herself the emotional support that she needs to back out once and for all.
  4. Hawk
    It's an interesting point about the ex's family. My ex's brother spent the day with me and we played golf and he said that regardless of what happened between her and I, that I was a friend and once a friend always a friend. Point is it was a tough day because I all I could remember was the times that we ALL did things together.
  5. Hawk
    Folks, I have been reading a book and it's become something of a guidebook for me - "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken" and it describes exactly the things that heartbroken talks about.Maybe that's what happens over time - we just get to see the real person. Know a guy whose marriage broke up after 12 months, just heard that his parents broke up after 31 years - go figure!
  6. Hawk
    He might, but why not keep it and give it to someone else - maybe christmas, or maybe that new person that you are going to meet down the trak?
  7. Hawk
    James - bad things happen to good people - always has always will. Hang in there, it will get better.
  8. Hawk
    Dogg - I don't think the intent of NC is to make them miss you - it may have that effect but really it is about giving yourself time to heal.
  9. Hawk
    I have to stay "roommates" because we are both living in our house that we are trying to sell - let me tell you it is nearly impossible - every time you walk back in the house it just kicks you off all over again - it is getting a little easier, but only because I am trying to make sure that when she is in the house I am not there.
  10. Hawk
    That's also the best advice I have got from the site - you can't do anything to bring them back - they have to find their own way back and in the meantime you find a way to move on. But all the contact that you make in an effort to get them back does only push them further away.
  11. Hawk
    I prefer Tony's idea - just make sure you put it somewhere that in a weak moment you won't be tempted to open it up and open another dose of heartache!
  12. Hawk
    Well it's probably a good sign that the conversation didn't tear you in half - I know from my perspective that if my ex told me who she was sleeping with it would be a fair kick in the guts. They will miss you as a person, they have to because unless you broke up under bitter circumstances then there were some really good qualities about you that they saw. But the question is are you happy for her to miss you as a person, or does it still hurt that they don't miss you as a lover for instance. If you can honestly answer yes to the firs question, then congratulations.
  13. Hawk
    OCD I hope when my time comes I deal with it like you did - and you will be all those things that you want to be some day and someone will think you are the most wonderful person fo doing it.
  14. Hawk
    I always worry when I hear the "not feeling in love anymore", because from my experience it means that the other party has already checked out - it takes both to get to work on the relationship and get it fixed.
  15. Hawk
    Tony - the age thing can be at any time to - i am 11 years older than my ex partner and just when she was telling me that she was ready to settle down, didn't enjoy going out anymore - she's back out there larger than life. Don't try to apply logic to it - she knows how you feel - the fact is she has taken a look at the package you are offering in total and has said thanks, but no thanks not for me. Now that doesn't mean that she will find anyone better than you out there, but unless she finds that out for herself then all the pleading under the sun isn't going to change her mind. If she finds her own way back then great, but by then you might have moved on and be in a different place?
  16. Hawk
    Tony That sounds like all the the things I wrote and said and it makes no difference - it falls on deaf ears. In her mind it sounds like it's over and she wants to move on. The fact that she has cheated on you now twice probably means that she will do it maybe three of four times? Now she would have to be one hell of a person to put up with that. C'mon man, time for steel in the spine and regain your dignity out of this. It sucks and it hurts, but you will come out of the other end a better person.
  17. Hawk
    I think you have answered the question yourself when you say things like being consumed, not healthy and not fair. If she is really playing games with you then the game DOES have to stop otherwise you will go insane. NC starts now.
  18. Hawk
    Well I just think that you have a situation were another guy is (probably) doing everything that he can to split you up. This is then combined with that wonderful rush that you get in a new romance (thrill of the chase all that sort of stuff). Has just happened to me.
  19. Hawk
    It's always possible to be too good for someone and some people actually get out of relationships for that reason. Don't forget the path to getting over someone will always be full of backtracks and just when you think you are better then something will blind side you and take you back a few steps. The thing to remember is that the time it takes to feel better again gets shorter each time.
  20. Hawk
    Good advice - soon as there is a hint that someone else is on the scene (even emotionally, not physically) then move on.
  21. Hawk
    When you say room mates do you mean you are both still intending to live in the same house?
  22. Hawk
    That's a great way to look at when you are over them.
  23. Hawk
    You are nearly right - getting dumped is hard, but I try to keep it in perspective about some people who have got it a whole lot worse than me (natural disasters, illness) and that helps me realise that I can move on.
  24. Hawk
    Yep don't look at them, just like a junkie trying to come down you think a little bit won't hurt. As painful as it is cold turkey seems to be the only way. Package them all up and then some day down the track have a look at them when you can, but right now all it does is help you to romantacise the relationship that you have just gotten out of.
  25. Hawk
    Of course it's natural - all part of the process of helping you move through it all. Be prepared for a whole raft of emotions over the coming weeks - all of which will be appropriate for you. In time it settles down, but just be prepared for what will come your way.
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