J a m e s

I have posted a little in the Break Up section of the forum, as i split with my ex 6 months ago (we was together for 6 years) I'm confused if i am over it or not, i dont long to be with her but still think of her and miss her ways and miss her. I'm kind of with someone new but taking things slowly, but it doesnt feel like a new relationship does, i dont seem to have the proper enthuisiasm. Since the break up and during my relationship with my ex, my confidence has got very low, i sometimes feel like she stole it from me if that makes sense. I guess i have realised all this and wanna be that person i used to be before the split, and even before my ex. Does anyone have any tips on building confidence and more outgoing? *I find it hard to talk about this to people to, so generally bottle everything up.

Hi all I havent posted here for a while now, as i've been trying to get along and recover from my ex. Its been 6 months nearly now since we split, and boy has it flown. This is a good and bad thing, as even though its been six months it doesnt feel it. I guess im kind of healed but not fully, but this begs the question "will i ever be?" I did the strict no contact as at first my ex contacted me a lot and it messed my head up, i choose to ignore any contact i got from her. This helped me at the time, but now i still think of her a lot and didnt hear from her over xmas or new year (i think cos i ignored her when she tried to contact me before, but i still with held from contacting her) On to what my title suggests, i have kind of met someone new but been taking things slowly. I guess this is the test as to if you are over your ex, as when im with her i still think of my ex a little. (im confused?! i think) I dont want to get back with my ex, or have any thoughts like that...i guess its at the point where i have forgotten how much she has hurt me and wish to be her friend. Also today was the first time i have seen my ex since October, not to speak but i went to her city to pick up some documents and by fate she was in her car at the traffic light opposite me - but no wave from either of us just carried on driving. Thanks for reading, i feel i needed to put something down after all this time. x

Hi its been 4 months nearly since i split with my ex and just this last week i have felt like crap and i dont know why I still miss my ex, and havent found a real spark in anyone i talk to (if i do actually talk to them) I feel trapped and suffocated and when i feel like this i dont talk much and this makes it worse for me and i can even realise this, but cannot pull myself up. I just needed to post something as it was just going around in my head, doing me no good....i need some motivation.

hi sukerbut im feeling the same, we have been finished now for over 3 months and i havent made any contact with her for 7 weeks now. She has contacted me nearly every week but i have ignored it and it seems she has finally stopped contacting me, which is good i suppose but does feel strange. I now feel helpless, as that is the door closed. I was chatting to my friend about her "new guy" which i shouldnt of done, but he said that they dont get on and always argue and it isnt going to last. I think i was better off not knowing this as this is what seems to have triggered me off again. I have been out, had a good time, tried my best to get on and done well i think. But now it is all coming back to haunt me again. 3 steps forward, 2 steps back it seems - but thats still progress. I hope you feel better soon, as you are not helpless and stronger than you think i am sure.

cheers for the support, i wont be contacting her or replying still. as you put she is just manipulating the situation and wants to hear from me to feel better about herself.

Hi I havent posted for a while, and reading back on my posts i feel i have came a long way in healing. 6 weeks ago i met my ex and she basically told me she was with someone else, who she is now (referring to other posts about how they can move on so fast is beyond me, we were together for 6 years) Anyway when she told me this, i told her to never contact me again..it lasted a week if i recall with her texting every week wanting to know how i am. The last two weeks i knew i would have some peace as she was going on holiday with her family (wedding) and she was coming back this week. As you will guess the day she returned she text me still wanting to know how i am and telling me she had a good holiday. I deleted the text and didnt reply, and it has kind of shook up my week. Anyway i suppose as its been sometime since we broke up, i feel kind of cruel for never replying even though im doing it for my own good. I guess im becoming weak and starting to feel i should reply, but i know it will cause me more grief and pain.

the feeling and emotion will fade in time, i was the same and still am some days. 2 weeks before my ex split with me we were going Florida together and it was her first time going. obviously she did not go and i went and even though the break did me good, i did spend most of it thinking i wish she was with me. when i came back from Florida i realised that all i did while there was beat myself up thinking how i was wishing she was there, but i should of been concentrating and healing myself. its not healthy to live thinking if only they were here to see this etc, it does show though that you are a caring person, and soon someone who deserves to be thought about like that will come along and bring a new happiness to you.

hi thanks for replies and you are right, it does suck. i kind of expected that outcome in my gut anyway. To be honest i find it very sad on my ex's behalf that she has got with him, and i feel betrayed that she threw away 6 yrs with me to be with someone who she has only seen a couple of times. If you had read my previous dilema of the split and how the cousin interferred when she moved in to our home. well the bloke my ex has got with was going out with her cousins best mate, but she went to USA travelling and they split up and now he is with my ex. Perhaps it is best we did finish as i can see her for what she really is now.

i've just been hit by what feels like 10 tons of brick i was having an msn convo with a friend and they told me my ex is with a bloke i know, who is best friends with my ex's cousins boyfriend (they moved into our house as lodgers, and kind of caused the split) we have been split 3 months, and this has just hit me for 6 and i have been feeling down these last few days to......why do these things happen.

Hi i havent posted here in a few days or so, and want to vent a little. I have been getting on well lately i think, not thinking of the ex as much as i used to, but the being alone feeling is consuming me and bringing me down. I've been going out a lot to with my friends and having a good time, talking to new people but nothing really comes of it or makes me feel complete. I really miss having that person to love, talk to and have by my side. I just feel really alone

cheers sibling295 im taking it step by step, if only small ones. i caved in this morning and read the text she sent, and it just makes my head more confused...why cant she keep NC...why does she still have to bother me. the text has confused me more, as she wanted to know how i am, and heard i was with someone else and was happy for me - when im not - and she is doing the attic out and wanted to know if i wanted anything. i didnt reply and just deleted the text. it just feels so hard to move forward when she is in the background texting me, in a manner as if we are best friends.

Hi Augustus You are not alone my friend, i have and am going through the same feelings as you. My ex left me after 6 yrs and got with someone else, so much so she actually text me and told me after 6 weeks later she was. We have been split just over 10 weeks now and i have not contacted her since she text me that. She has text me a few times, wanting to know how i am but i have never responded. I am at almost breaking point now where i want to text her and just hear her voice, but i know it will do me know good. Everyday im holding out when i get home she will be at my door waiting for me, or she rings me saying she wants to re-work our relationship...its on my mind most of the day and has been for the last week. I dont have a magic formula to make things better or how to keep the brain going in the right direction other than to think positive and love yourself. This is what i am doing, making myself a better, stronger person. You will be happy again believe me, this feeling wont last forever. Keep busy, think positive, love yourself and always remember you are not alone...we are all here for the same reasons and to help each other. I feel for you my friend, as i really know how it feels. If you feel down or need to chat send me a pm

hi you are right, i do need to get her out my system but it just seems so hard at the moment. these last few days have been a real hard time, as my emotions are under control but they are engolfing me....i just feel so alone now i still have the text on my phone but havent read it. I know it will only be about how i am, but arrgghh i just cant seem to shake this alone feeling, i think the whole break-up has fully settled in. tomorrow is a new day for me to gather my strength and get stronger, i've maintained 4 weeks NC and felt good about it, just want to get some direction now and move on.

Hi enotalone, firstly i would like to say a big thanks to all the support i have gotten from this forum in the last month, i feel so much has changed within me in that time. Also i chatted to a few people on here either via pm or msn and it has really helped, so thanks again. i will recap that i have been split with my ex for 10 weeks now, after a 6 yr relationship. i have been through all the emotions with the break-up but now i feel in a strange place. im not healed but not hurting as much, my life has regained some normallity but with this comes the feeling of being alone. i still think of my ex everyday, thinking only if she misses me. i feel im starting to fail, just today my ex has text me this morning (around 7 hours ago) and i havent read the text yet but its still on the phone. i dont know if i will read it, but i know i wont respond (she has text 4x now and i have kept NC each time) i feel im beating around the bush in my post, but i guess it boils down to i dont know what direction to take now....im lost, empty. not sure what to do or think. is this normal?

Hi needhelp im a male, and i am/have been going through hell. i was with my ex for 6yrs, lived together 2yrs and we just split out the blue. I had to leave the house and move back in with my parents. As you can imagine i was an emotional wreck. This happened 9 weeks ago. 6 weeks into the split i met her, as she wanted to see me...nothing really sparked or happened, she just text after we had parted she was seeing someone else and i guess still is now. at this point i told her to never contact me again, which she managed for 2 weeks, then broke it a week later. this really hurt and set me back, as im trying to clear my head and heal. i dont think it is any easier for a male or female, but what you will have to do is concentrate on yourself and take time out to heal. this is what i have realised. i think of my ex everyday, it consumes me at times and i just get down, this is because i am trying to think what she is thinking...does she miss, does she care. i dont know if she does or not, but what would it achieve knowing if she did? if she did care that much about me, i wouldnt be posting here. you can do NC, you just need to be strong. it really does help you heal. it just takes time, no one in this world can just switch off emotions and stop loving someone in a day, or stop caring...it just gets shifted to another level. i feel i have come so far since first posting on this forum, and im sure you will look back on your posts in a months time and feel the same. try and remain strong, and if you feel weak and down come to this forum as everyone here cares, and is there for you.