SuperDuper

Maybe suggest she approaches it the same way as the first time. If she remembers. If she doesn't, just guide her in a complimenting tone so she feels good about it.

Basically it's a mind game right now. The positive aspect of that is you're both the opponents. You can either let your curiosity wander, which will lead you back to his life, and what he's doing.. or you can think for YOU, and worry about your life. He's out of your life now, so why think about how happy he is? He's not rubbing it in your face or anything, this should help you move on.. he isn't making you read his myspace account, you do it to yourself, and you're the only one who's going to make you stop it. That's all there is to it. GL.

Hey everyone. I went to my highschool dance tonight, and realized something. I was talking to my two best friends on the bench, who seem to have girl problems as well... and it seems that I have actually gotten my head on straight, finally. I know I still feel pain sometimes, but that's only temporary. My rational is, is that I am only 16 years old... I have my whole life to live and find a soulmate, a female that I love and would die for. I've realized that the only reason I feel left out.. is because I feel i'll miss out on the physical aspect of a relationship before everyone else (sex). THough I will be in university in a few years.. who knows what will happen then.. or in the next 2 years of high school. sometimes I just feel lonely.. but I'm tired, and I just feel like getting this out.. i'm wondering if this is a good rationalizion.. that i'm young.. very young.. and shouldn't worry about women right now, because I have my whole life to live, still. Thanks!

Agreed - You've done well in the past 2 years. That can be unbearably hard. Reward yourself and see her familiar face again, but only in a friendly context. If you go with expectations in the back of your mind, you could be setting yourself up for depression once again.

Don't give yourself any hope, and don't expect a single thing. I am not saying this just for your situation.. this is what NEEDS to be done in order to make positive progress. If you linger on, and worry about how she thinks, what she thinks, why she thinks that way.. and so on.. you're not living your life.. but you're trying to live hers, in a way. It sounds you have your life totally figured out (outside of her).. I am still unsure of who broke up with who though. If she broke up with you.. she has to say "I want you back - let's try again".. anything else shouldn't be contemplated. If you broke up with her.. it really wouldn't make sense.. seeing how you always think about her.. so I'm guessing you were the victim As was I. I say remain with NC... although she may feel you're ignoring her. The thing is, it's not about how she feels right now, it's about you.. think of your actions, and not her reactions.

Well written - speaks a powerful message. Good work!

I agree. But - only do this if you feel it won't break down everything you've worked towards. If you feel that small chat will rekindle your feelings for her.. don't do it. Believe me, if you're expecting something to come out of small signs, chances are it turns out to be nothing at all.. and you're left at square 1 once again. Only do it after you think long and hard about what you want to do.

Or maybe you just need to write a convincing rap to your loved one in order to change their mind.

Exactly - she doesn't know it. Meaning she won't continue to coax you on, for her own personal ego boost. I guarantee with time, and if you continue NC with her, you won't even care soon enough. Remember, you have a new woman in your life who doesn't deserve to receive mixed feelings from you. If you don't feel stable, you should let her know first. But I truly think this is just the "Shocked!" stage, where all of your emotions go crazy, but after awhile it'll die down, and won't be as big of a problem until one day you'll wake up and won't care at all what's going on in your life, since you took the time to make your life happy, and not worry about hers.

The reason you're not getting the results you want, is because your motives are wrong. Your destination seems to be, you and her back together. While right now, it should be that you back off and live your life for you. Heal for YOU. Don't heal as a strategy to win her back.. chances are you'll end up broken hearted again. I've done this first hand, and whatever people tell you here, isn't just opinion. It's their experiences first hand and we all share them with people like you so you can learn hopefully before making the same mistakes. At least you realized you went too far, and now can reflect back and realize what you can do in future relationships to have different outcomes. For this situation, I'd say it's best to start living your life again. She isn't in it anymore, and they may seem like the harsh reality, but in a few months of living YOUR life, you won't even care what she's doing anymore. Good luck.

If she does have intentions, tell her you're interested.. and go from there. If she says no, or gives you an unclear answer.. back off, and she'll probably come back.

I think you should wait until she contacts you and question her motives. Ask if she has any intention of starting a relationship with you.

This is so weird, I was experiencing something oddly similar to this. I feel that my ex will have sex first, even though she's a year younger, and all that i'll be able to think about is her once this happens, and be p!ssed because it wasn't me. What is this called? I want to know what to do like venus. It's almost jealousy.. I don't know.

I say go for it. If you regretted it, you'd probably feel it by now. This is somewhat similar to my situation, minus the kiss. My ex and I are really close, and sometimes it's really hard to hold in your feelings when you want mor I say ask what he wants, unless you're in my position and asking will only make you take a few steps back.

What's the point of smoking? What does it give to you. It provides no high, or no health benefit in any form. It does give you increase risk of death and an empty wallet. I dont' see why cigarettes are legal.

Hey, I'm not new here, but am just realizing this expert advice section. I hope you can help me with my situation. My ex broke up with me beginning of June 2005 saying she just wanted to be friends. She was honest about that and we hung out numerous times throughout the summer. Until which I felt I needed NC because friends didn't seem good enough for the feelings I still had for her. We did NC for about 2 months, in which we each found someone new. Neither of them lasted, and by late November by ex messaged me again. Until this day we have talked every single day. 9/10 it's her initiating the conversation. 9/10 it's her approaching me at school. Chances are, it's her making the plans too. As for tonight, she planned that her and I , and 2 of our friends would go out for dinner, then to a hockey game. We had a great time. On Christmas night she told me out of the blue she just wanted to stay friends then.. and I didn't even bring it up. We were both honest and I explained how I sort of wished something would rekindle, and she said she thought she wanted to get back together, but then realized that's not what she wanted. She said "it sucks because I don't know what I want." This was 3 weeks ago, and we've hung out/talked numerous times since then. I feel like she's sending me signs all the time. I don't want to act on them though because she's admitted to not like talking about "relationships and their conflicts" and just likes to live each day. She doesn't like to feel pressured. I've been really laid back and relaxed this time around, and I feel she'll continue to make plans with me. In time though - I feel i'll want something more. I don't want to stand by and stay her "friend" forever, while she gets with other guys. So far, nothing like that is happening. I sometimes feel her and her ex-bf that broke up in November, will get back. Despite that he went out with another girl right after going out with my ex. I don't know what to do. I've been patient, and it seems she likes me, but doesn't want to commit. What can I do to help her commit? To act soon, or i'll be gone. I can't live without her in my life, because I love spending time with her, but if it's only as friends.. I feel i'll always want more with her due to our past experiences, memories, good times. Ps- I'm 16, and she's 15. Advice?

When you have a post like RayKay's you know you're in a steady relationship. Not worrying about whether he reads it or not because the topics are covered between you two already. Lucky.

By not caring if you're good enough or not. I'd advise you to let out your feelings to her, tell her how you feel.. but don't be pushy. Once you do this, back off. Do your own thing. If she wants you, she'll come back to you. I wish I could take my own advice

Respect woman and their feelings. Prove yourself a real man and tell her face - to - face. It's the only way you'll ever get past the guilt you'll feel once you realized you took the easy path.

We broke up in the beginning of June 2005. She ended it because she said she just wanted to be friends. That's the truth. She didn't bail after that either. We remained close and hung out through the summer. I realized I wouldn't move on like that, and I didn't like just being friends with all of my emotions still with her. SO I did NC for a few months. In these months we each found someone new, but they weren't Mr/Ms right so it didn't work on both parts. Late November 2005 she initiated a conversation with me and we've been talking daily ever since. We've hung out multiple times and multiple different occasions. Sometimes she initiates up to 3 talks with me a day, and we talk on the phone occasionally. Christmas night at 12pm, out of the blue she said .. "I dont know how you feel, but I want to be friends". and she said "is that okay with you?".. and I replied "why wouldn't it be? just because we're talking again?".. she said yes. I do want to be with her again, and I told her my honest view on "us" when she brought it up. I told her that I started getting feelings for her again, and I asked why she invited her ex boyfriend (me) over to her house if she didn't have any intention of getting back together. She replied "hanging out with you is fun". she then admitted she was thinking of getting back together but realized that's not what she wanted, and confessed that she's confused and doesn't know what she wants. Bear in mind this was over 2 weeks ago. Since then I've been to her house, and her to mine. We've driven around, hung out, talked at school, and every night on MSN. I can't help but feel she's interested again.. and I want to be with her, though I haven't brought up my feelings since she broguht up this talk on Christmas night. She is the type of girl that doesn't like talking about the "mushy" stuff.. and just likes living each day as it comes. She doesn't like taking relationships and "bf/gf" really serious. But I still feel she's somewhat interested and I want that to come out of her, since i'm here with open arms. I act as if I don't care what happens.. I am happy with my life outside of her and have a great outlook despite the controversay with her. I know her and steve's relationship, if they even have one... shouldn't be on my mind... but it's tough to deal with. I feel that if I stick around and be the "friendly friend" .. than I won't get what I want in the end. I want her and I to be together. But I enjoy our time together, and I love her company because she's an amazing person and she's SO beautiful. I don't know what to do. I feel if I bring anything up.. it'll set me back at square one, and she'll feel pressured and might back away. I know she likes my company because she's proved it, by calling, messaging, setting up plans, inviting me over, etc. I've contemplated as to whether I should just write her a long note describing how I feel, and then be on my way.. but I dont know. Sorry this is a ramble, but I need to get it out and you seem to be listening.

Should I not even care what goes on between them, since what goes on between her and I is the only thing that matters? His MSN name today said "can't stop thinking about you.." but it could've been related to his 2 past ex gf's. Or it could of been about my ex girlfriend. I don't know.. It just seems that we're suppose to be together, and thinking of her her with another guy just seems.. surreal. I've seen her with her ex bf, 2 months after she broke up with me.. but I was somewhat healed, and didn't care really.

Just out of curiosity, what is this person saying?

He may be rich, but he's alone now isn't he? Money doesn't mean a thing, and if you are comparing yourself to him, and trying to live up to his standards.. well his standards don't seem to end up with the girl.

I'd like some personal opinions on jealousy. I feel that with my ex, we have a certain connection that none of her other guy friends can relate to, or come near with. Today my ex came to me at my locker and we chatted for a bit, then she touched my arm and said bye when I went to class. We then met up at lunch time and talked for 15-20 minutes. Had some laughgs. Then at the end of the day we walked to the bus together. (My car's getting fixed). She suggested we go driving after school too, but the roads were icy. I sometimes feel jealous of this guy Steve because it seems they may like each other, although I never ever see them talk at school.. but they do hang out together while in a group and stuff. I know since we're not dating I have no say in who she can talk to. I really don't care. I just don't like these insecure feelings. Any reasurring words out there you can throw at me? Someone told me that how HE and HER relate, has nothing to do with how I make HER feel. This got me thinking. Please post some replies, thanks.

You'll shortly realize that this is not a problem that any of us can physically help you with. It's in your head, and you just have to have a different mind-set to get past it, it's that simple. I suggest you write down the specifics of what 'ticks' you off, the next time you're experiencing this anger/irritation. Then when you're more calm, re-read what you wrote, and actually try to rationalize where this inner anger comes from. Is there a reason? A cause? Also, just warn people that you're not having a good day prior to blowing up at them. I'm sure that many people would be happy to step aside to avoid being #$@#$ at for an hour. I don't think you need medication, or vitamins. I think you need to realize that you can overcome this with will power. If you don't change, your "nice image" may soon fade to nothing, and you'll be left with a life you never thought you'd deserve. Be good to people, you never know when karma can play it's role.