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annie24

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Everything posted by annie24

  1. annie24
    I agree.... this guy sounds like kind of.... strange or a jerk... I can't quite figure it out. Ok, that sucks, his car got broken into. It happens to almost everyone at some point in their life. My mom's car was stolen when I was in high school, and my apartment was broken into a few years ago. That's why you get insurance. That sucks that his insurance won't cover it. But.... YOU don't owe him one cent! And don't think that you do, or if you pay, he'll come back to you. Obviously, his car is his passion, but ultimately, it's a material thing, and he can replace the stuff that was stolen and he can work on his car again. For him to pull away while you are being a source of support makes it sound like he's just kind of a baby who's real love is his car, not you. What makes you think that if this didn't happen, he'd be your perfect bf? Lots of women do this all the time - we like a guy for what we THINK he can offer us in the future, not what he is actually offering us at the moment. Right now, he's telling you he doesn't want to spend much time with you because his car was broken into. That's like me telling a man I don't want to see him until George Bush does something about global warming. What does one thing have to do with the other!?!?! I'm upset about global warming, but that doesn't stop me from dating! Well, that's my opinion. Good luck - I hope things work out for you.
  2. annie24
    I don't see what the big deal is that she had sex with someone else 1 day after the breakup. How long are you supposed to wait.... 1 day? 7 days? 2 weeks? 3 months? Is there some kind of equation out there that I don't know about that says what is the "respectable time to wait"? Some kind of equation that takes into account how long you dated, the circumstances of the breakup, and who broke up with whom that dictates that 37.5 days is the appropriate time to start sleeping with someone new? Once it's over, it's over. End of story. She and the ex are free agents and can do as they please. What's the saying....? Don't judge someone until you've walked 1000 miles in their shoes. (And even then, we're not here to judge, just offer advice.) But... back on topic.... I usually tell my friends about "conquests" just because I tell my close friends everything. And, for the ones in long-term relationships, they usually have fun (I think) listening to crazy Vegas stories, or whatever.... Well, that's my response to you why some people brag about their conquests. Don't worry - you are the subject of their gossip. It's flattering, in a way. They think that you're cool enough for them to be discussing your personal life. Like Brad Pitt and Jen Aniston.... people are talking about celebrities all the time, but honestly, who really knows what is going on except the people in the relationship? I bet your co-workers have forgotten about it by now... if they haven't, they need to find lives of their own good luck!
  3. annie24
    Well, I don't necessarily think she's a game player. She's pretty much telling you she doesn't want to be with you. She may be telling the truth about her not being ready for a relationship. I think that's fair of her to not want to get involved with someone new before she is ready. Or, maybe she doesn't like you, and she wanted to let you down easy. It really doesn't matter what the friends are saying. What's important is what she is saying. As for being friends, that really depends on you. Can you be friends with her without wanting more? I know you wouldn't be pushing anything, but can you hang out with her without secretly hoping she's going to change her mind? It would be sad if you're pining away for her, over analyzing every nice thing she says to you as proof she wants something more.... You may want to distance yourself from her for a while just to give your emotions a chance to cool down. It really depends on what you can handle right now. Good luck[/b]
  4. annie24
    Hi there - Well, either: A) She's really still not over her ex and isn't ready or B) She's just not that into you. Either way, the bottom line is that she doesn't want to be with you. If she really isn't ready - who knows how long it would take for her to get over him. I think the best thing you can do is to try to accept the situation, and to move on from her and to find someone else to date. If she gets over her ex, she knows where to find you. But, don't sit around waiting for her. Good luck
  5. annie24
    Oh dear.... ok.... Honey - I am sure that you are one hot mama! Good looking, smart, sexy in a belly dancing costume. But... "He's just not that into you." I'm sorry. Like you said, he's not out of town, chances are his e-mail server is working and he hasn't lost his computer. I don't think he's playing it cool. He would have responded tuesday or wednesday, at the latest if he liked you, but wanted to play it cool. I think that there's a 0.1% chance that he didn't get the e-mail. He may think that you're attractive and cool, but.... if he didn't respond to your invite.... how interested could he really be? Like you said, you are a catch. If I were you, I'd cut my losses with this guy and move onto another guy who really appreciates you. If he changes his mind, he knows where to find you. good luck!
  6. annie24
    Break up with them in person, not over the phone. And certainly not over e-mail or text message. Ditto to everything that DN said. After the breakup, don't give them a false sense of hope, if you really feel that it is over. good luck
  7. annie24
    Welcome to eNotalone. You sound so sweet. While I'm sure that a medical site would tell you more about her condition link removed is one example, I think this is a good place for feelings and emotions. I think that's a great idea - a movie, a book, maybe some flowers, some photos, chocolates... anything that she likes. I think it would really make her feel good. I don't have any specific data, but I've heard many times that cancer patients who have a positive outlook have a better chance of survival. (Actually - flowers may not be ok because she is going through chemo. Can you call the hospital where she is at and ask what they recommend?) I hope your friend gets better annie
  8. annie24
    It's not forever. If you feel like you aren't ready yet to handle them saying something like, "she's dating someone new", then don't spend time with them yet. One day, when you are ready, you can take her mom out to lunch. But, I think until you feel like it's time, just protect yourself as best as you can. Politely turn down the invitation, say something vague like, "I don't feel enough time has passed yet, but I look forward to seeing you in the future." Good luck
  9. annie24
    Yes, I agree. It depends on what it is you asked her not to do. If I feel a person's request is "unreasonable" IMO, I do what I want. Have you two considered marital counseling for the fighting?
  10. annie24
    ooohhh... he's an "ex-alcoholic", not an "ex husband." ??? What is he like when he's sober? Have you told him that blatantly checking out the waitress in your presense is disrespectful? If he's an ex-alcoholic, he should still be staying away from alcohol, since he has the tendency for addiction. Is he in AA? I would have a very serious talk with your husband about his behaviors. Good luck - I hope it works out.
  11. annie24
    Yea, it is a game, isn't it? I think you should take his game VERY SERIOUSLY. Basically, he said to you, "I am so messed up right now that talking to you, hanging out with you, is getting in the way of my healing my emotional life." That's harsh, isn't it? Since he says he feels that way, then don't contact him. Otherwise, you are "hindering" his healing process.
  12. annie24
    Why do you think he is waiting for you to call? If he said he has issues he needs to work out, I think it makes a lot more sense for him to pick up the phone and say to you, "Ok, I have my issues worked out. I miss you and want to get back with you." Don't call. He said he has issues - let him work it out. In the meantime, take care of you
  13. annie24
    I AGREE!!!! A load of bull!!! Yeah, I know, school is rough, takes a lot of time, but think about it.... when you really like someone, you find time to spend with them, don't you think? My hs boyfriend said all that crap to me too. Don't hold your breath waiting to get back with him. Move on, meet new people. If it's meant to be, it will happen. Actually, he should be BEGGING for you back... not for you to wait for him. Remember, you're too cool of a chick to be sitting on your hands, waiting for some guy to call you in 9 months.
  14. annie24
    hehehe.... you're overthinking things. With my friends, sometimes, I also don't leave a message because I know they can see that I called, and I assume that they know to call me back. When I leave a message, it means, "Call me back soon!" as opposed to "Call me back whenever" (when I don't leave a message).
  15. annie24
    I strongly agree with everything RayKay said. Just yesterday, I remember reading some girl's post - she's been dating a guy for a few weeks and wants to ask him where they stand. IMO, probably too early for that talk. And here you are on the opposite side of the spectrum. You've invested 1.5 years with this man, but you don't feel comfortable enough to ask him where you two stand. Like RayKay said, it's ultimately your own life and only you can decide how much time you can afford to spend, waiting for a guy to be ready. The book, "He's just not that into you" brings up a good point about women who wait for men to "be ready." Women are the ones with the biological clocks - it would make more sense for the men to be waiting for us!!! Don't make him feel like you're being needy or clingy. It's just what normal people do - they take Bfs and Gfs to weddings and BBQs. It's normal. Don't make him feel like you're "expecting too much" or whatever. There are plenty of men out there that do want a gf and will be totally there for her! You can read a lot of these mens' stories here. Good luck - I hope it works out for you. Don't be afraid to talk to him.
  16. annie24
    Back in high school (I was 17), my bf was being a total jerk towards me. Well, I may have been smothering him a tad, but that doesn't excuse his jerkiness or him cheating on me with an ugly girl. (A victoria's secret model I would understand, but her!?!?! ) (he was my best friend in high school for the 3 years prior to dating, and then we dated 4 months.) Anyways, I broke up with him, but only because he was totally ignoring me. I stopped talking to him. A few months later, when we graduated, we never saw each other again. Then, when I was in college, out of the blue, 3 years later, he called and did all the "I love you, I need you, I was a jerk" blah blah blah crap. (I think you can tell I didn't take him back ) During those 3 years, I moved on. I didn't sit around waiting or anything or expecting to ever hear from him again. I just moved on with my life. He found my contact information because he knew which city I had moved to, and he called 411 (the operator). He told me, otherwise, his backup plan was just to find me through my university's records. If they want to talk to you, trust me, they will find a way to contact you. So, no. I never had to remind him I existed. I never called, or wrote or anything. You are not easily forgotten
  17. annie24
    unfortunately for you, it's the parents' house, so its their rules. Once one of you gets her own place, then meet there, but in the meantime, try to respect her parents and their rules. Good luck.
  18. annie24
    Ya it makes sense but some guys see it as a kind of challenge . They already "won" that challenge now it's on to the next one . Some also find it a great way to increase their confidence and ego . But anyways . . . the mistake was made . Just forget about it . Good point.
  19. annie24
    Mine also came back after 3 years. (Just one, not all of them.) What are you going to do? Sit around waiting by the phone for the next few years of your life, hoping, waiting, praying she changes her mind? That doesn't sound like a fun way to live your life.... Like HB said, get out there, do stuff. I like the sports injury analogy... just take it slow, things will get better. Good luck
  20. annie24
    I actually had this same problem a few months ago. I identified it as the way I was sitting at my computer those days, with one leg tucked. Now that I sit more normally, it's a lot better. Try adjusting your position, but like Jetta said, it can also be dehydration or lack of vitamins. good luck
  21. annie24
    Wow - lucky you. You get to know this small part of Mr. Oh-so-special. Wow. You should be thanking your lucky stars he spends a few hours on friday night with you. Maybe, if you hang in there a few years longer, he may hang out with you TWICE a week! Wouldn't that be great!?!? Sorry if I'm being a bit sarcastic, but who does this guy think he is? What, like you're chopped liver and you should be lucky a guy like him is in your presense for a few hours a week? I'm sure you're a catch! He's not the end all, be all! If he's this closed off and can't deal with the "commitment" of planning a special getaway 2 weeks in adavance, I really think he's not worth your time.
  22. annie24
    Oh. Then, he's just a jerk if he's going around telling all your co-workers. It doesn't seem like he really thought anything out whatsoever. It seems like he just did a bunch of stuff, and didn't think about the consequences, good or bad. Oh well, you're rid of him. NEXT!
  23. annie24
    This isn't what you want to hear, but I think that the not being invited to the wedding issue is not the problem itself, but a symptom of the larger problem of you not being integrated into his life.
  24. annie24
    *sigh* Ok, this doesn't sound very good at all. Here's the thing - you're 34 and not getting any younger. If you're looking for a husband, I don't think this guy is the one. I think after a year and a half, you two should be at the point where you are spending more than one day a week together and he's doing stuff like inviting you to BBQs and inviting you to be his date at weddings. I don't think you're being needy or pushy for wanting to know where you stand after having invested all this time. If you're not getting what you need from him (and having read your posts, you're not!) I think it may be time to move onto someone who will be a better partner for you. good luck
  25. annie24
    hmmmm.... by the way... now that I read your post again.... what is your man doing on saturday nights....? The plans at the last minute are also another red flag to me....
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