greenie35

I've been posting off and on about a guy at work I have a crush on. Well bout 2 hours ago I laid down to take a nap. I had a craaazy dream. See in my waking life this guy has been checking me out for months, and I have been doing my share of checking him out too. I am just way too shy to talk to him, plus I'm damaged goods after just getting out of a 3 year relationship. Anyways we don't talk...ever... THIS IS ONLY A DREAM: So I've dreamt about him a lot obviously and the dreams I have are usually quite smiliar to waking life. They usually involve me obsessing about him when I'm away from him, and then claming up when I'm around him. I once had a dream that I finally went out with him and he was really annoying and I was turned off. But despite all that...about two hours ago I had a dream that I went to the gas station on my break. He came in right after me. Initially I was nervous because well, I've never ran into him anywhere other than work. He asked the store clerk if they kept any moldy heads of lettuce. The clerk was like..ehhh no Sir. I kind of chuckled. Why the hell would he want a moldy head of lettuce? So he goes the the cooler and grabs something to drink and gets behind me in line. I purchase whatever it is I'm gonna get. Still i haven't even said hello to him but i'm well aware that he is behind me. So I go to make my exit, but decide that I can't pass up this oppurtunity to chat with him. So I stop off at the lottery ticket machine to occupy me until he is done checkin out with the clerk. He goes to walk out the door and I smile and say..hey..."what in the world do you want with a moldy head of lettuce." And he gives me some weird story about how this girl he knows collects them or something...hmm..anyway he stops and chats with me for a second and to my complete and total astonishment he is so funny and asks me "what I thought of him when I first started working there" HE asks me if I thought he was just a loser drunk.(hmm?) He asks me why I've never spoken to him before. As he says..."I'm kind of a quiet person" I say "I dunno I guess i'm just a quiet person.." in unison. Then we just look at eachother and smile. He keeps kind of teasing me with his words and it's like he already knows me the way he kind of pushes me around in a friendly way...after we say our goodbyes...I am so swept off my feet I can't remember where I parked my car. Remember I'm at the gas station. I had to call my dad (don't know why I'd call him he lives 6 horus away from me) to help me find my car. I mean it actually seemed like he really liked me...Ahh but it was only a dream... Anybody good at intepreting dreams...it's all in fun, but I do believe dreams tells us alot. Not that i'm getting my hopes up or anything...made me feel pretty good upon waking though. I think I'll go back to sleep now...nite 8)

oh i was gonna ask... does he watch you while you do it?

make use of your tongue...a lot of use of it... i feel naughty eek at times put your hand at the base while stimulating the top

Hey-- I feel the same way...same situation-- broke up with my boyfriend a little over a month ago. It wasn't too easy for the first week or so, but I don't feel nearly bas as I thought I would. I will admit that when I communicate w/him (which is purely out of necessity since we lived together for 2 years and some of his belonging are still at my house) I still get a little choked up over the fact that it's over and the familiarity I had gotten so used to is gone. It hits me like a brick wall, but then it passes just as quickly...

I have always dated guys taller than me or my height..I like to look my man in the eyes.

I do the elliptical 5 days a week and I usually don't go above 5 resistance, but then again every machine is different. Sounds like the glider too is conditioning your glutes, but definitely start cutting some of those calories and you'll notice the fat decrease. I wouldn't worry too much about building too much muscle. Once you decrease the calories the muscle will start to replace the fat. When I used to work out religiously---oh to have that discipline again-- I was 10 pounds heavier then I am right now and I was a lot thinner than I am right now...go figure...--just a tip, don't get on the scale too often--concentrate on how your clothes fit

I always thought guys were into tall chicks...I'm pretty tall 5'9 ..I also like to wear heels or boots that make me taller. I love being tall and I think guys generally think it's pretty sexy. But then again, that's just what I've experienced.

Metallicaguy---you never cease to amaze me... I've been doing a lot of people watching lately...I have come to the conclusion that you don't really have to do a whole lot to attract a guy...as long as your not severely obese and you have two breasts and a rear end ---there's not a whole lot more to add to the equation. I'm being cynical...but i think you get the drift.

How long have you been working out? When I first started working out I kind of bulked up a little in my hips and butt too. I gain muscle very easily. I liked the butt part, but not the hips. You're getting the butt from the elliptical, ease up a little bit on the resistance. Squats also have that effect on the butt, especially if your squatting with too much weight. I'm not sure what a glider is but if you're using your butt, again just ease up on the resistance a little bit. The good news is once you start losing that fat the muscle will replace it and you will look a lot leaner, it just takes a little time. You want that muscle because it's going to help you burn more calories and fat in the long run. Just give it a little time and you'll notice the bulkiness start to decrease.

Utah Jack-- All of your anguish and sadness obviously stems from the fact that you have no idea, what's going on in her head--that's the most grueling part of all, apparently. In time after you have begun the healing process (and you will) she will reappear in your life again and confess her feelings motivations about what she has done. This may take a lot of time, but there will be closure. People always pay when they hurt someone intentionally without any forethought to the consequences of their actions. That is the mystique of karma and it will happen. It may be a month from now it may be years, but take heart in knowing that you did exactly what your heart guided you to do, and that is being the best husband you knew you could be for her. Marriage is not for everyone anymore. Our society doesn't value marriage the way it used to and that is really upsetting and a little scary to those of us who hope to one day find someone to spend the rest of their lives with. You know very well that the way in which you are handling your sadness and frustration is very unhealthy, but then again it doesnt exactly feel healthy living each day with a broken heart. My advice to you is to try and see this experience as an opporunity to steer your life in a different direction. Trust in the notion that things have a reason for happening and perhaps you were meant for someone else and she for someone else. In the moments you spend a lone with yourself...pray. I am not religious or anything like that but I pray nightly for strength and courage and for truth. When I am confused and lost and feel powerless I simply pray for the strenght to carry on and hope that something bigger than me will guide me and show me the value of living in a world that can sometimes inflict so much pain and sorrow. All this may sound like a bunch of cliche garbage, but it has always worked for me. Your good nature and your willingnes to sacrafice, love & appreciate your wife will be rewarded, however difficult it is to believe that right now. Above all else you must have faith that you deserve better for yourself than the pain that has been inflicted upon you by the actions of a scheming wife. There is not much else I can say right now...I want to see you work through this and would be happy to keep in touch with your via e-mail or through pm's.

My, that was so articulately written I am having a really hard time coming up with the words for a response. It most definitely warrants a response. Honestly, I just think I need a little while to let that sink in. I'm feeling your pain right now....I will post back By the way--enotalone is exactly the place you want to be right now...we'll be here for you--to listen to you and try to help you.

I was just going to post something jsut like this...I do the same thing. There are sooo many things I want to re-work about my life. I want to quit smoking, I want to drop about 10 to 15 pounds, I want to take up a hobby, I want to perform better at school, I want to find a better job, I want to drink more water and less soda...etc...etc. I think if you put too much pressure on yourself you end up becoming self-defeating. I should take my own advice eh? I'm TRYING--and I emphasize trying to do something good for myself each day. And I'm proud of that. Just one little thing...like I might smoke but I drank the recommended 8 glasses of water today. Woohoo..baby steps...baby steps. I've been going to the gym 5 times a week, but my eating habits haven't changed too much...it's ok though because once I get into the habit of going to the gym I can work on the diet thing. I'm already seeing results from going to the gym so that's motivation right there. Generally I just try to smile and laugh more...smile more at people, help people out when I can...set yourself up for success by investing time in the little things. Once you tackle the little things the big things don't seem so big anymore. babys steps...

I met my best friend about ten years ago in high school. She was my lab partner in Chemistry. Her sense of humor and mine just clicked right away and we spent a lof of time making fun of our teacher. I remember thinking that she was really beautiful, not conventionally beautiful, but her charm was just really unique and it had a sparkle to it. It's irnoic that I say sparkle because she was going through sort of a goth phase back then. I was kind of a band geek. If you had seen us back then you would have thought we were from two completely different planets. She was dating this guy who was well known at school for being kind of a "bad boy" player loner type...he was really good looking. She would always talk to me about all the poop he put her through but she loved him all the same. After that semester ended we were pretty much just casual acquaintances until we started seeing each other at the community college. Ironically I ended up dating her boyfriend's (same one from high school) friend. We kind of bonded on that and then I got her a job working where i worked and it jsut sort of took off from there. She is still with her boyfriend from high school--- 10 years now...woooweee...not married yet though...they've been broken up before and I've been there through it all, and she's been through all my drama as well. I love her so much--she's pretty much the closest thing I have to a sister since I'm the youngest w/ two older brothers. We've traveled a lot together seen some crazy things together...have a whole slew of inside jokes ...and experienced things that can only be described as magickal. We are far away from each other right now, but we still e-mail and I see her when I come home for holidays. That's about it...

You need to overcome the shyness--you're married to the guy for crying out loud. Men want you to tell them what you want in bed. Do you pretend like you're enjoying it when you're doing it, or is it kind of hum drum sex? I'm not looking for details or anything, I'm just saying it might turn him on if you tell him what you want. You don't have to tell him it's bad just tell him how he could make it better. I really don't get the shyness thing though...can't figure that one out.

I believe that everything does happen for a reason, that there is something bigger than us, and we do have a mission in this world. It is entirely up to u to find out what that mission is. If your anything like me you're not sure where your passion lies. One week I'm writing poetry incessantly, the next I am thinking about my future career as a teacher--than I become focused on building a house out in the middle of no where and growing my own food away from this crazy mixed up world. Those strange coincidences that happen in life often take us in directions when didn't know we wanted to go in. I think the key is to be intuitive and go with those feelings...like you said, there must have been some reason you heard all of those stories about sexual abuse...well..maybe there was. Go with the gut...it's cliche I know, but your subconscious is a very powerful tool if you can tap into it. I believe that if we tune in to ourselves our path unfolds before us...if we are caught up in looking and trying to find out what our purpose is we become so distracted we don't see the signs...we don't hear our subconscious voice. Take a look around ...breathe in the air...feel peoples vibrations...it's called living. See, I don't think a lot of people are really "living" their life. By this I mean, finding the uniquness in the usual interactions and experiences of day to day life. Above all else remember that in this world every one leaves...you can love them with all your heart but they will leave...either by their own will or the will of something or someone else. You should trust in yourself and let the path unfold before you.

Thanks for the link...I thought I was done with acne, but as soon as I hit my middle twenties I started breaking out all over my neck and jawline. No where else really. I'm pretty sure hormones are causing it, but I'm goig to try that Benzoyl Peroxide regimind and see if that works...thanks again.

suprema---are you implying that I am like one of those lonely old drunks at the bar? hehehe... well..the only reason I would go to a bar, not just alone but in general is to listen to live music. And there just so happens to be a damn good Reggae band playing tonight at a local pub. It wouldnt hurt to have some interesting convo while listening ...and perhaps I would find some like minded individuals to share the music with...perhaps not. I'm not going to go...I'm just going to sit at home alone again tonight. Chances are I would run into my ex there anyway and that would be NOT GOOD.

Do you think women should go to bars by themselves? If you've read any of my posts you'll know that my boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. IT was bound to happen...anyways I'm ok with it...we have NC for a while---except when he came over the other day to get a few things. We moved away together to attend school...I haven't really made any friends down here. That part kind of sucks, but the alone time has been really good too. I'm finding "my old" self and trying to regain some self-confidence. It's a beautiful night tonight and I really feel like going out. I have gone to a bar by myself once...it was weird. Nasty old men kept hitting on me. I just wanted a freakin' beer and they wouldnt leave me a lone. I know I'm damn sexy, but why do the nasty men have to hit on me DO u think it's a bad idea for a girl to go to a bar by herself. I mean --I'm not looking to get any or anything like that. I'm jsut hoping to meet some girls and guys who are cool and want to shoot the breeze...I just wanna have a good time. I don't want to send the wrong impression...like i'm a hore or easy or looking for action or anything like that. I dunno...I'll probably just rent a movie.

i like it ...except when he begs for it...that just annoys me

ummm...yeah...just keep on rubbing around down there eventually you're going to find .."the blessed spot" and you will know when you find it. I think dirty thoughts...but that's just me.

Yay!! That's so awesome...

You can ask her in person or have someone get the ball rolling for ya. Who cares...ya know..whatever works. If a guy was shy and had his friend express interest for him I would not be turned off in the slightest. I understand shyness. I am going to be 26 years old and I still find this acceptable to some degree. I mean I wouldn't have the guy ask her out for you, but finding out if she could be interested is no big deal.

I don't see a problem dating someone you work with as long as your not breaking any codes of conduct and you are mature enough to handle things if they don't work out. You have be cautious when you date someone you work with.