greenie35

Yeah when my ex boyfriend and I first hooked up his ex would call a lot. They had been together for like 4 years so I tried to be understanding about it. But eventually it got annoying. She would call his cell and he wouldnt answer and she would keep calling repeatedly until I had to finally tell him to shut his phone off. I actually got up the nerve to write her an e mail and ask her if she was ok with us dating. I mean I knew what they had been through together and I respected her and I didn't want any drama or hard feelings. She was polite and said that she was cool with it. It turned out being a front though. She called over to his place at like 3 a.m. I had stayed the night at his place and she was crying on the phone saying that she thinks she is pregnant. THIS IS THE DIRTIEST TRICK A GIRL CAN PLAY ON HER EX IN ATTEMPT AT TRYING TO GET HIM BACK. I have had friends of mine pull this crap on their ex boyfriends and it always makes things worse. She of course was not pregnant but it really threw our budding relationship off course. Eventually she called less and when she did he was always polite and would use my name a lot in their conversations...talking about plans we were making or things we had done. He would always inform me of their conversations and what they would talk about..he was very honest. Whether or not this is really a problem depends on how your man is handling it. If he is being honest with you and informing you of what they are talking about and when they are talking. He should definitely let her know that her contacting him all the time is not working for either of you and she needs to give it a rest. That would be the respectful thing.

Every time you feel you want him back, read this or repeat it to yourself until the feeling passes. I agree...concentrate on the bad points---the points that you know don't sustain you..things he has said and done---it makes it easier...it has for me anyway.

It's a factory that I work at...and it is loud and he has an important job there that keeps him very busy. The stares were blatant...they couldn't be more blatant. This guy is in a band and I am pretty sure he knows how hot he is. I think he's just looking to add a little excitement to the work place (ego boost perhaps) by getting me all worked up with his stares. I do know through word of mouth that he has a girlfriend. Two people have said she looks like me. I saw her at the work x-mas party and I guess she sort of does. This made me think he was staring at me for that reason. Oh well...I obsess less about it these days. He still stares but I'm too much of a coward to talk to him. Apparently--I heard this from a friend of a friend --he might be breaking up with her and looking to move to Chicago to play music with his band so none of it really matters I guess. It is for this reason I don't go out of my way to talk to him---although there was a point in time where I was really working up the courage to do just that...it failed miserably. I said the same things you did Fallen...the band he is in doesnt really play the kind of music I am into--and I think we are just from two different worlds all together...but I still want him. I don't think I could handle a relationship right now being that I just ended one, but it's nice to know I'm wanted...ya know? oh well.

by strengthening your core muscles (abdominals) it makes your posture better and you stand up straighter. Any fat that you may have will kind of hang better on your body. I found that by working my lower back this helps balance the booty and the love handles. Lie flat on your and raise your chest upwards so your lower back muscles contract and then back down and up...its like doing a crunch for your lower back. It really stablizes the core muscles improving your posture. It works right away...you'll notice in the morning when you wake up. Bicycle crunches are good too...someone already mentioned that-- Alternating elbows to opposite knees. They hurt--but they work..and just keep with it...the results are worth it!

"You know when a girl at my school found out I used to purge...you know what she said? "There are starving people all over the place and you stuffed your face and threw it all up. You're disgusting. You make me sick. All those starving people and you waste all that food." So now I don't even want it because if I end up purging Ill just be wasting the food so why eat it? " What you have is a condition and it's not something that many people can understand or even begin to reason with. I have been there I understand the guilt and the shame associated with it. I hope you called the hotline and talk talk talk all of it out. I hope by now you've realized that these poeple aren't going to judge. My revelation came when I realized that I can eat and not gain weight. That it takes 3500 extra calories to gain one pound of fat. That's a lot and if you are a balanced eater you won't gain the weight, and if you do...you can lose it just as quickly, especially when you are young. I am not going to insult your intelligence with anymore informatoin--if you're anything likeI was when I was going through this youve read it all...be patient with yourself--you will overcome this and the mirror will stop playing games with you.

All of the scorpios I have ever known were very sexually charged, they said what was on their mind, and they were stubborn and many times controlling. Not to say there aren't good thigns about them. If they like you they are the most enjoyable company you can have. If they don't...WATCH OUT. I'm a gemini...I get a long with female scorpios but have always had a problem with the males. I have never been attracted to a male scorpio--beyond the physical, because they are just way too open about their feelings, and sometimes it's hard to believe that they are actually really feeling those feelings or if they are just saying they feel that way for the sake of their own pride or conversation. Girl scorpios are gossip queens, and this can be a lot of fun for us ladies...as long as youre on their good side. Females scorpios aern't as likely to turn on their friends as much as male scorpios are. Im just speaking from experience.

Lemme ask your advice since this seems to be the place to find out what all those signs and signals mean. This guy I work with has been staring at me for months and he doesnt smile (once he smiled when I said hi to him and he said hi back) or talk or anythign just stares like he wants me to know he's staring. I am completely attracted to him, but I turn to mush whenever i am around him. SO about 2 weeks ago I had to walk past him and as usual I frantically tried to figure out how to rearrange my face so as not to look like a complete idiot. I realized at the exact moment we were going to pass that I had forgotten to put my hairnet (yes we have to wear hairnets it's requierd where we work) I looked up at him as I passed and said "forgot my hat" and popped it on my head. I felt so stupid...This lady I work with called me over to her...she knows about this crush I have and she tells me about how she sees him staring at me all the time ( I notice too)_...she said you won't believe the face he made after I had passed...she mimic'd it...he kind of shook his head and looked down...no smile...just kind of shook his head...what the hell is that supposed to mean. She said the way he did it was cute, but I don't really trust her opinoin she's kind of wacky. I dunno though...I thought I acted pretty lame.

YES YES...i do this all the time...I can't help it and I wish I could stop because I think it probably looks weird...I always touch my nose..it's like I'm trying to cover up my face..afraid he will see my feelings

I also tend to go for the mysterious type...but I never do anything about it other than obsess and crush and mill about wondering what they are thinking until eventually I just give up and chalk it up as cowardice. I think smiling definitely. There's a guy I work with and he's in a band and he doesnt really smile, just stares...stares like he wants me to know he's staring, but he doesnt smile and he rarely talks to me unless it's about work. I don't think he's shy because he gets up on stage and plays music in front of people...just smile man...smile say what's up something like that..so that you come off as a nice person...I will talk to anyone if they seem like they are nice.

Today my ex is coming over to get some of his stuff and return the key to my house...it was once our house. I am moving to a smaller apartment as I am not able to afford this one now that he has retreated. Luckily my landlords were understanding and let us out of the lease. I havent seen him in two weeks. We have contacted through email recently because I informed him I was moving and told him he needed to get his boat off the property as well as return the key. What was intended to be a short request ended up being a long letter pretty much explaining that Im doing fine without him and that I am learning to like being a lone and working on myself and that I think about him and pray that he is doing well. He responded basically saying that he is not happy that he thinks he-s killing himself (ie drinking partying etc). HE takes 100% of the blame for the end of our relatinoship...saying he warned me in the beginning etc etc...says he misses me and hopes I find someone that treats me the way I deserve to be treated. I really don't buy any of his consolations. I know him too well and in all actuality it makes me feel extreme anger. Either way I wrote him back politely telling him to take care of himself and that we should not email anymore. It makes it harder to heal. Nonetheless i will see him today for the first time in a little over 2 weeks and he will no doubt be bringing one of his "boyfriends" with him because he does not have a car to haul the boat and he will need someone to help him load it. I'm thinking I will just pretend I am not home. If you have read anything about what's been giong on with this you will know that he ditched me to party once we moved away together to attend college. All the things he says about himself in the email are true. He is a child, he has no sense of responsibility and he used me.---yet now it's as though his new found self-awarenss seems only to be a justification for further acting this way. It's soo ugly and it makes me sick to my stomach. I dunno...I have been working out a lot and I look a lot better and feel great. I don't miss him too much...i mean I do a little, but I know how much better I am without him. Ahhh...I feel like i should be miserable, but I am not..we were together for 3 years but what I do know is that he made a huge mistake acting the way he did and in time he will realize it. I will under no circumstances take him back...none. I don't know what I'm trying to accomplish with this post. I guess I'm just putting it out there for anyone to relate too...it's hard man, but in time things heal...and everyday it gets easier

In all likelihood she may be a bit overwhelmed about living in a new country and her interests may be different from yours because to you her interests are familiar and for her they are foreign and new and exiciting. It sounds to me as though you know in your heart you do not love her, but feel lonely and miss her because she really loved you--that also may be part of the reason you wanted to cut things off--because she loved you too much perhaps more than you loved youreself. But now you miss that...worry that you may not find that again...someone who loves you completely and wholly and would do anything for you. I was dating someone about 3 years ago while I was going through a long spell of depression. I should have never gotten involved with him for that reason. I could not love him wholly. I started to withdraw from him because he was too caring...I couldn't understand why he loved me so much and it almost angered me and made me more sad. I pushed him away--I was too much of a coward to break things off. In retrospect he treated me better than anyone I have ever dated, and to this day I wish things could have been different. Although I realize that I did not really love him and I needed to work on loving myself more. I think you should give it time and let things heal before you get in touch with her. I gather that she does indeed mean a lot to you and you to her. You may be able to rekindle a friendship out of this if you give it some time. Meanwhile find your passion...do something good for yourself and learn to love yourself. When you learn to love yourself you draw the right kinds of people into your life and that "ideal" mate you described, the one you can talk to about anything and want to be with always will eventually be drawn to you. It's funny how God works in that way...Everything takes work...but the benefits are worth the effort. Your heart and piece of mind are worth the effort. Try and make yourself the center of your universe. I don't mean neglect the people you care for, but instead work on doing things that make you feel good about you...the rest will follow Good luck

i was pretty vague in my post..i thought i had posted in another forum where people had already heard my story...it's lame nevermind

yeah so i posted before about being happy about being single but lonely. So I read in the entertainment guide that my ex has a gig with his new band lined up at this bar. I am so disgusted...ITS NOT FAIR ...whaa whaa boohoo..hehehe... yeah I just don't get it sometimes...sometimes you can't win and the true loser get's the breaks. All I can say is he better watch his Karma. I went to the store just to get out of the house and blow off some steam...bought some make and a CD...I feel better. If you read my other post then you'll understand why I'm so irate..if not...don't waste your time trying to figure this one out I'm just venting. I have noticed after reading some of the other posts that I'm the only bitter one here. Anyone else out there just plain made at their ex? I'm sure this anger will pass. I'm really having to try hard not to write him an angry e-mail. I'm doing good...breathing in and out...it's cool. alwayz---greenie

We seem to be in the same boat don't we. As depressed as I do get about being all alone and not feeling like I fit in anywhere...I still can remember who I was when I met him. I was happy confident secure healthy and had a lust for life. I often times feel like he has taken that away from me, but then again I am my own ships captain so I must take responsibility for the decisions I have made and who I have and will become. Just have faith...I've been down lower than this before and I have come back stronger than ever before. It's just all that time we wait and we ponder and we wonder where the hell things are going. I am going to try each day to do something good for myself and make some positive goals. As I posted before it's not so much about my ex...Sure I dreamt of him last night and his contagious laugh...but I am reminded every day of why it didn't work out. I guess this loneliness is necessary. MAn oh man there are a million and one people out there who feel the same if not worse than us. So we'll just keep on keeping on...doing what we know best and making little steps towards becoming the people we want to become...that's all we can do right? SO I'm gonna take the advice of all these good people...and I hope you do too... Smile like you mean it...

wow i just realized how whorish that sounded...im not really...ok bye

I gotta get one of those gamecubes, for real! I'm a bit self conscious right now. Not sure exactly why...i think it's the feeling older than everyone at school thing. I'm working on feeling better about myself though. I've been going to the gym and just trying to do the best I can in every other aspect of my life (school work my kitties). I'm yearning for spring and summer. I was thinking about moving back home during the summer. It would be ncie to be around all my friends, but then again I see a lot of possibilities down here. A new life...new oppurtunities...new men!?? ahhugh men...it's cool i'm not ready now, but I am definitely going through some withdrawal. Thanks so much for the positivity...feels really good...

Hey there- I've posted several times about the problems I've been having with my boyfriend of 3 years. Well, he has moved out and the "space" thing just turned out to be his way of breaking free from me which if fine because I realized that for a long time I was just dealing with being unhappy in hopes that he or something would change. I have driven him around for 2 years because he lost his license. I gave him $500 dollars to get his license back. I would do lots of little things for him all the time to show him I think about him and love him. He very rarely showed me the same courtesy. Even if he did he would not act as though he was glad to do it. It was like he was forced to do it. I even helped him move into his new place, bought him a coffee pot and a poster of his favorite writer to hang on his wall. We moved away together to attend school and he has just completely reinvented himself. We are not as young as most college students. I am 26 and he is 24. Yet he is acting a lot younger. He's been partying a lot and was not acting like someone who really cares about me or loves me. My dad actually helped us finance the place we rented. Now I am stuck here and I can't afford it alone. I am looking for a new apartment but my lease is not up until August. He is doing real swell though. He has a group of friends he met through a friend he knew from back home that goes to school down here. He has friends where he works, and he wouldnt have that job if I hadn't found the ad in the newspaper and hounded him to to apply for it. He had hoped to not have to work at all while going to school, just as he had done when were back home and I worked two jobs. In retrospect I am pretty glad that we are not together because the guy is not someone I feel I could spend the rest of my life with. He has many wonderful points, but I would rather not list them because right now it feels pretty gosh darn good to be mad at him. The worst part of all is that I am completely alone. I go to school in the morning and work at a factory at night and come home and do homework. I have no friends and there aren't many young people where I work. I have been feeling really depressed because I feel like I have gotten the short end of the stick while he is out having a great time. I have done so much for him over the years and if it wasn't for me he wouldnt' even be down here attending school right now. Why am I the one who's sitting home alone at night? I just needed to get that off my chest. The thoughts just keep turning over in my head...

I really think that I am coming off rude to him. You put it really plainly...its amazing how easy other people can make it sound....You are right though. I should just treat him like a normal guy. I just dont know what would follow hi. I thought about introducing myself to him and apologize for not doing it sooner ---admitting that I've become kind of shy since I moved down here. Then wait for a response and if I don't get one just be like "Ok, just wanted u to know that." and make my exit. I'm always looking for a way out of his line of vision because his staring has makes me uncomfortable, but I like it at the same time. Maybe I just need a drink before I go into work. ...jokin'

Soo...I've posted before about this man at work I am totally attracted to and who it seems has been making some serious eye contact with me for months now. Well..I've finally been discussing the end of my relationship with co-workers hoping that word of mouth would reach him. I also received some information that he was pretty much in THE EXACT SAME situation I was in. Moving out of his girlfriends...potentially breaking up...etc etc...Soo... I have been trying to work up the nerve just to talk to the guy...just say hi. He intimidates me in the worst way. He is in a band for one...He is beautiful and the way he carries himself just gets me spellbound and I lose complete control over rational thought and language making it extremely difficult for me to initiate any kind of converstation. I have been taking my breaks at the same time he get off work hoping to catch him and hope for some meaningful converstation. Well, I think he finally caught on to this, but the timing couldn't have been worse. I was walking out to my car to get some change for the vending machine, I was going on 3 hours sleep from being up the night before turning things over in my head about my past relationship, my lack of friends in this new town, the stress of school and just generally feeling poopy. He walked into the building and then walked right back out and in my direction. Under normal circumstances it would have been the ideal situation for us to talk...away from all of our co-workers...it was beautiful and sunny and warm...I panicked. I was unprepared...I simply looked up turned the other direction and said "See Ya" That was it...See ya...What a freakin' dummy... I heard him say under his breath in this annoyed uncertain tone.."Yea, see ya." I felt so completely stupid. I lost my chance...my window was there wide open and I blew it. How can I fix this?

There are a great many women who appreciate a man working towards accomplishing something in their life---even though they've yet to reach their ultimate goal. It seems to me you have a great deal to feel confident about. Also, women today are much more independent then years past and you shouldnt fall under the impression that a woman is looking to find a man to take care of her. It's enough that you have goals and ambitions and are building a life you can be proud of. If that is your picture you are obviously good looking. I know it is sometimes hard for people to realize that about themselves. Continue on your path and set aside any false notions about the "typical" woman...we'll surprise ya!! Take a chance before your old and gray and you start sagging and shriveling...Just kidding...kinda... hehe Goodlucktoya!

I'm really attracted to this guy I work with. He wears 80's hair band t-shirts all the time, which under most circumstances would turn me off, but he's got this style about him, that makes him appear so different, interesting and cool. He definitely exudes confidence and well...he really is hot. I am so afraid of the guy, because he is so beautiful...he seems to be interested in me and that scares me even more. I'm realizing its my own insecurities that are making me so afraid, after coming out of a 3 year relationship im so confused about my feelings and what I want...he seems untouchable...but he's not...ughh...so to be attractive, have your own style... wear it well...whatever it is...walk tall...talk with your eyes... I'm often attracted to guys that aren't always running their mouth or trying to be the center of attention. They're just real..

I would definitely try making eye contact. If she catches you looking at her smile at her or look down and smile. There's nothing wrong with appearing a little shy. It can be a bit of turn on. The key is to make sure she sees you checking her out.

I've always gone for guys who were just a hair taller than me and only about 10 pounds heavier. I've always felt a littler thicker than them, and I am a bit. I think a lot of guys like a little meat on the bones especially if it is in the right places. Women tend to be less judgemental about appearance than men are. It is more typical to see a hot girl with a chubby not so hot guy than a hot guy with a chubby not so hot girl. I do think it's true that people tend to gravitate towards people who are equal in attractiveness though. I dated a guy and after we broke up a lot of people told me they thought he was unattractive. I guess I wasn't turned on initially by his appearance but as I got to know him better he became more attractive to me. There was something about the size of his fore arms. I know it's weird.

He walks tall and holds his head up. A hard worker who gives it his all. Has his own style that may clash with the norm, but treats others with respect and doesn't act like he's better than anyone else. He may not talk much or even be the life of the party--but he needs to look like he's comfortable in his surrounding. I don't typically go for guys who are real talkative and popular. I do like quiet guys, I think I'm curious about what their thinking. I always imagine it's something really deep, and he's not hung up on superficial interaction. I like a guy, who when he speaks has something to say...not just BS and the like. Sometimes shyness can be taken for aloofness. Eevn if you don't have anything to say or feel self conscious, don't worry that you're looking like a jerk...just stand tall. People will want to know what your thinking, and you may draw the right kind of girl to you.