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behind_these_eyes

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  1. behind_these_eyes
    I know a few people who dropped out and got their GED's. Two of them take night courses at a local community college, and live at home. They're doing well, and they can work up to a junior college or something if they want. If you drop out, you should get a job and start saving some money, so you aren't financially crippled when you decide to do something. Good luck with this!
  2. behind_these_eyes
    that was really great, but I'm sorry about your situation. I hope everything works out for the best, and keep writing!
  3. behind_these_eyes
    I thought that was amazing! good job
  4. behind_these_eyes
    that was so good. great work, can't wait to read your next one
  5. behind_these_eyes
    I feel the same way sometimes. A while back I posted about feeling hopeless or useless and someone left a really helpful reply. They told me to look at all of these quotes by this man Peter McWilliams. They were really great and made me sort of step back and look at everything generally and understand what actually matters. You should check him out. link removed
  6. behind_these_eyes
    Hey thanks a ton for that reply, I really hope it is just a stupid teenage thing. I didn't go out this summer at all because I was trying to stay away from it, and I just started going out again with my friends and then I did it. The thing is, If I stay away from booze, I have to stay away from my friends, but that killed me this summer, and I was really lonely. I managed a few times to stay sober while they were all drunk in the past few weeks, so I was starting to think I was strong enough. I guess not.
  7. behind_these_eyes
    I don't know any statistics or solid facts, but I know a few people who got a lot...slower. so I'd say yes.
  8. behind_these_eyes
    well this isn't an herb, but maybe you should do some yoga. it will stretch out your muscles so the achiness will go away, and if you do the yoga breathing and some meditation, the stress will decrease.
  9. behind_these_eyes
    Four months, and then I caved. I don't know whats wrong with me. I dont want to do it, and I alwaysd leave the house with no intention of doing it, and then every once in a while it hits me like a brick and I just do it for no reasons I can comprehend. Alcoholism runs in my family, and I screwed up a lot when i was 13-15, but I really cleaned up last year. I was feeling strong for so long, with a clear head. Then I just collapse and I do it - i guess i'm weak or something. I'm not an alcoholic, I know I'm not (if I ever was i'm not anymore), but I am starting to think I'm an idiot. When will I ever learn? I don't even know what I'm babbling aboutr anymore. I feel disgusted that I did it again and even more disgusted that I posted about it cause now I'll remember it all tomorrow. I don't want to be seen as weak, or as someone who caves under pressure, but now I'm not sure that I can even see myself to begin with, so what do other people see? Basically, I'm wondering if anyone else overcame a similar problem, or if anyone thinks this is just stupid adolescent stuff that will all fade away with time. I'm hoping it is. Sorry about the disorganized pessimism.
  10. behind_these_eyes
    I think it kinda depends on the guy..like I have a really nervous twitchy teacher and when he gets red I kind of think he's creepy..but then there's this guy in my gym class..he does it and it's pretty cute.
  11. behind_these_eyes
    Don't tell her unless you get a serious girlfriend. What if you end up telling her and then finding a great guy? It will all have been a lot of stress over nothing. My family's the same way. I just ignore all the comments and don't join in on the gay-bashing conversations. Simple as that.
  12. behind_these_eyes
    Hey everyone, thanks a TON for the replies. I do realize that it may be boring, but maybe that's what I need. When too much is going on I just tend to go with the flow and look up at the last second to see something HUGE that needs a lot of attention and energy. I'm exhausted from it. I already have a pretty good job, it's not in any way what I want to do, but it is stable I think. I don't do any drugs or drink anymore, and I think I'll be fine without resorting to those types of things once my friends are all away. I guess I just want to avoid any big decisions until I feel like myself again. I can't believe I have to deal with all of this. 5 years ago I was riding my bike and eating fruit roll ups.. Again, thanks for the replies everyone.
  13. behind_these_eyes
    Wow. There's never anything bad to say about your poems. They're incredible, I wish I could write like that. Keep writing, I love reading your stuff.
  14. behind_these_eyes
    I've been thinking about taking a year off - a lot. I'm really confused right now and I don't want to jump into something like college if I'm not 100% for it. I figure I can work a little and get some money to pay for it - the financial situation right now at my house is not good at all. Today I really decided that I want to take the time off, and told my parents. They immediately began complaining about how my health insurance will be 300 bucks a month if I'm not a full time student...anyone else think the 28,000 dollars for a year of college would be a bit more? I want to travel, I want to work more, I want to figure everything out. As of right now, they're not talking to me. They didn't go to college and they think that I'm gonna end up never going back. The thing is, I love learning. I know I'll miss it - I just hate school. I need to be away from it to actually want to go. I guess what I want to know is - Did anyone else take a year off? Did it work out? Did you go back to school or continue working? Do you think it's wise? I'm just so confused right now. Thanks in advance if anyone responds to this.
  15. behind_these_eyes
    Sometimes I get really shaky when I use muscles I havent used in a while and work them out really well. That may be it. It's great to hear that you're doing so well! Keep it up, you can do it!
  16. behind_these_eyes
    haha that went riiiight over my head. I'm sure it was fun if there was alcohol involved though? haha
  17. behind_these_eyes
    No problem, you sound very smart about all of this. It's great that you're not afraid of being alone, it will be easier to see things clearly without fear clouding your judgment. I do hope for the best though, you have such a long history and it sounds like you really love him. Good luck!
  18. behind_these_eyes
    If you got your period later than most people, sometimes it takes up to 2 years for you to get on a regular cycle. I don't know if that's the case, but another way you can skip periods is if you lose a lot of weight in a short period of time. If none of that applies to you, I would agree that you should see a doctor.
  19. behind_these_eyes
    Don't listen to them. You're taking it to heart because you're a little insecure about it, but the truth is that most people wouldn't say it if it was true. You wouldn't walk up to one of your friends and call them fat if they were, but if your friend is lanky and skinny, it's almost funny sometimes to joke about it. People would be very hesitant to laugh if you actually were. feel better.
  20. behind_these_eyes
    y a y
  21. behind_these_eyes
    It's 10 bucks for eyebrows where I go. Never got my back done though. I'd guess not more than 30 or 40 bucks tops.
  22. behind_these_eyes
    One time I talked to this depressed drunk guy for like an hour. He was saying he had no reason to live, and I asked what he wanted to do in life. He proceeded to talk about how he wanted to be a cheesy romance novelist for a LONG time. It was kind of humorous, because after 15 minutes he was in a great mood and was excited about his dreams. Anyways I dont know if that counts, it wasn't a college party...although he was a college dropout.
  23. behind_these_eyes
    That's true. We do kind of just look a lot and not say anything to tip it off sometimes haha. You made me realize that there probably isn't an obvious way for someone to tell if we like them..that stinks. Actually come to think of it I blush sometimes when I like a guy. I don't know that I'm saying anymore haha I tried.
  24. behind_these_eyes
    Well, I'm trying to find a way to say this without making it seem like I jump to conclusions, because I'm really not trying to judge you. Where I come from.."Blayzed" is another term used for stoned. If that's not what you meant at all, I'm REALLY sorry and I'm an ignorant jerk. Anyways, if that is what the "blayzed" in your name is referring to, that might be the problem. I agree with some of the other posters that you may have Social Anxiety or maybe Paranoia, but sometimes weed and other things can amplify that. Some people just lose it and are overcome with anxiety and paranoia when they smoke, and some people dont experience it right away. Once again, I'm very sorry if that was completely unfounded, but I'm just trying to help. I hope you find some help.
  25. behind_these_eyes
    First off, welcome! And wow, that is pretty complicated haha. I'll try my best to help ya. In my experience, the most jealous guys are the ones who are up to something themselves. We don't see anything more clearly in other people than the flaws we also see in ourselves. He hasn't been very faithful to his girlfriends in the past it seems, and he is paranoid that they arent faithful to him. No matter what, he has absolutely no right to be angry with you or the men you slept with while you two were apart, (especially because he was with that other girl too!) He's being hypocritical, and I agree that seeing some sort of therapist is a good way to treat his anger problems. However, I have to warn you with utmost respect: He has a history of cheating on/leaving his girlfriends, and I know, I know it's cliche, but "Once a cheater, always a cheater." It may not happen this week, or this month, or this year even, but some people are just always looking at what's on someone else's plate, and that's how they always will be. I advise you to be very cautious so you don't get hurt.
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