Karibo

It's like saying that women who use sex toys even though they are in a relationship are betraying their partner, which i've heard some men feel inadequate against. it's just not true - it's just about variety and pleasing yourslef when you're alone or to add spice to the relationship.

I don't see the problem with men or women watching porn even if they are in a relationship - i mean it's not exactly cheating because everyone knows the difference between fantasy and reality. I watch porn all the time! It is just such a thrill and I don't think it's bad at all. I think the main appeal of it is the variety it brings. It's just something different and it is nothing to do with if you're partner is satisfied with you or not in most cases anyway. It is natural for us humans to be curious, to always want to see and experience new things and this is what porn does. It stimulates the mind (as well as other areas!) and keeps sex fresh and fun. When i was a bit younger and had more hang-ups about my own body, i admit i did become very jealous of my boyfriend watching it and i did feel a bit betrayed, but that was because i was insecure and didn't realise that really it is just harmless fun. I began to realise this when i started watching it for myself and realised that no, it did not effect how i felt about my boyfriend the slightest in watching other men having sex. I think you should give it a go yourself - there are a lot of stuff designed for women these days. Maybe if you watch it and start to enjoy it for yourself, you'll realise that it really is harmless.

I know that everyone is different and thereforeeee has different preferences, but i would just like to hear if some men actually like curvy women in this western society where women being thin is highly pressured. thanks P.S. I know I should be happy within myself and I am - just having a bad day and would like people to share their opinions.

Ah man i just feel so guilty about it all

I was in a similar situation as you a few years ago. I am also very shy when first meeting people so I always felt very awkward and didn't know what to say. Well for the first year I don't think she really liked me, but by the end of it (3 years) she came to realise that i was just quiet and we got more used to each other and she actually really liked me and invited me more to family stuff! By the time we split up, his mum was really upset for him and me and my ex were joking about and he said 'I'd tell her we were back together' and i was like, 'what would she say if that were so?' He said, 'she'd be really happy, but then she would probably cry when she found out i was joking!"

I'd just go for it. Call her and ask to meet up for a catch up. You'll never know unless you ask!

That's a good point about how people who don't shop around might settle for less. yay for shopping! i'm heading off to the man mall!

This morning I woke up in my bed without remembering how the hell i got there and my room was a complete state with books and DVDS all over the place and my bed was damp and there was my cup on it's side on the floor. That is so scary waking up and not knowing what happened, and this is not the first time it's happened either. I don't drink during the week at all it's always when we go for a night out on the town on a saturday. My problem is I never know when to stop and one minute I will be feeling fine, then next thing i know I wake up and wonder what the Hell happened. Luckily so far my friends have always been there to look out for me. But i'm scared - I mean it's so dangerous, anything could happen to me or I could put someone else in danger. The thing is, all my friends drink quite heavily too and they get like this at times. I tried to cut down alot and recently i have, it's just last night I was drinking the same amount as my friend and i guess i couldn't keep up because she wasn't even that drunk, but apparently i could hardly walk. The thought of giving up alcohol scares me because I don't know if I could do it. I hate waking up with that dreaded feeling, not even knowing what i've done or said to people. I think the best thing to do is just go cold turkey.

Well, I don't always think sex is 'just sex' but sometimes I just feel the need to be touched by someone. I was in a three year relationship so I know and have experienced sex as making love, which is soo amazing and loving and caring. but since we split up three years ago, I have slept with two guys sinse that i knew i didn't and they didn't want anything more from. I was kind of friends with them so there was some emotional attatchement. I just hate all the names that women are faced with, like they are in the wrong or something. SEX IS NOT BAD!!

EXACTLY! How can women be called such nasty names when the same amount of men are sleeping with these women?? hate the way men have to exaggerate the number of partners whilst women tend to say a lower number. I mean hello, that doesn't add up peeps!

Why is it that women are labelled wh**s whilst men are looked up to for sleeping with many partners? I just cannot see how this sort of prejudism is so accepted in this day and age. Why is it that the girl is always the one who is looked down upon? why do men call women these names if they themselves sleep with many women? I get angry because I often find that it is also women who call other women bad names for this too. Surely they would want to stick up for other women instead of joining in with such judgementalness? Why are people sooo judgemental? So what if people sleep with many partners? Why does this make them a bad person if both people involved know that it's just sex and if they are safe about it? Why is sex still seen as such a bad thing? Personally i think it's an expression of the body and sex is natural. Just because I and others might choose to stay single, does it mean we have to be cellibate too? And no not everyone sleeps with many partners because they are scared of intimacy. I don't see anything wrong with wanted to touch and be touched. Why are people so judgemental? Why do they have to call each other names? Is it to try and hide their own insecurities by blaming others for the things they do?

I know exactly how you feel. With my last ex he was no good for me but we always had fantastic sex, so naturally I would think about it non-stop after I split up with him and apparently so did he regarding how he always tries it on with me whenever he saw me. It's been two years since we split and there have been a couple of times that I gave into the craving and we'd have sex again, even though I knew it was just a phsical thing. It does die down alot though with time. I don't think you'll ever stop thinking about this completely, but I think you will eventually clearly see that it would be a bad thing to actually go and do it, so eventually you would still fantasise about sex with him, but you wouldn't feel the strong erge to actually go and re-enact it. Arg! It is so hard at times though, but you just gotta think of the bad outcomes it would bring. it's worse when you know the ex is wanting to have sex with you just as much as you are and they try to break you whenever they see you!

She will be so angry if you break up with her for this reason! Believe me I know - it's happened to me twice and it's sooo annoying when a guy says "you're too good for me. You can do better. You'll just end up getting bored and disappointed by me.' I mean it's like 'Hello! How can you make these decisions for me?' In both cases, i really liked the guy but they were just too insecure to trust that I liked them as much as they liked me! I definetly wasn't disspleased at all with either of them - just made me sooo angry that they backed out just because they were scared i would get bored of them. Also i found it quite rude that they thought they knew what i was thinking. But hey, I guess they were right, because them saying that to me has made me disappointed in them.

First of all are you close enough to tell one of your parents? Or a close friend or someone who is older who might be able to be there for you. I'm sorry to say it but there is a very high chance that you could be pregnant, especially if your cycle is late. I know how you feel and it can be extremely scarey. But you must go and buy a pregnancy test so that you will know if you are or not and thereforeeee can decide what course of action to take. Ignoring the issue and worrying about it will get you no-where. You must find out soon. Try and ask a friend who you trust to go with you to the chemist and be with you for the results. i feel for you. Take care

God! It sounds as if you have done the exact right thing here. I bet she woke up this morning feeling stupid about it tho - if she even remembers. Next time she tries to call, don't answer and carry on not replying to her texts. Sounds like she just wants her cake.

Thanks guys you have put my mind at rest alot. I think he has gone away travelling now and I asked him to come back and tell me all about it.

Hiya! This is just a rant, but if anyone has any advice I would be grateful. Thanks

I know what you mean. I was in a relationship with a guy for only six months and he wouldn't commit to me but would always reel me back in and we were totally in a push-pull kinda thing. Now we've been split up for one and a half years and he is still trying to reel me back in again after all this time!!! you just gotta do the no contact thing and ignore him if he tries to talk to you. I've learnt from this experience that even the littleist of contact still gave him hope and made him think i would come running back again, so i just told him straight that nothing would ever happen between us again. you can read about this in my earlier post - "I can't take this anymore".

Thanks guys you've been really helpful!

I went on a date once and the guy kept going on about all his ex girlfriends and saying how they all cheated on him. It kinda made me think: #1 Does he actually like me, or just the thought of having ANOTHER girlfriend #2 Is he going to be all jealous and untrusting because of all his bad luck #3 Why did they all cheat? Seems kinda weird, maybe he did something which made them act in this way, or maybe he assumed they were exclusive too soon before they were, making me think he might be all clingy. Oh and he kept going on about his fetish for women in black knee-high boots and asking me if I would wear them on our next date. AVOID THE ABOVE!!!

Hiya! I was just wondering if anyone would tell me how they got together with their shy guy, or any shy guys, how should a woman approach you if she wanted to date you? There is a guy I like who has shown signs of liking me for years, but he is incredibly shy and I don't know how to proceed. We've known each other for years through friends, but only recently have started talking. In the past I have seen him in the street and said Hi and he has gone bright red and hurried past, but he has always stared at me whenever I have seen him. We bumped into each other on a night out and we kissed a couple of weeks ago (i think he had drunk a few beers so was feeling brave lol), but I haven't heard from him since because I think he is too shy and feeling a little silly for being so forward that night. I think he is scared of screwing up or wondering if and why i actually like him. Thanks

Firstly, i know you won't believe this now, but IT WILL GET BETTER. I know how you feel, there was a time in my life where I felt like ending it because it felt as if I couldn't cope with everything. I felt as if I just needed a break and the only way I could think that would happen is if I killed myself. But I was wrong. Honestly, time and strength is all you need and then peace will come back to you. Do not end your life - you have so much ahead of you to look forward to and soon you will realise this. I look back now at how i wanted to end things then and I am soooo grateful I didn't and now I am happy. You will be happy too. I understand how you feel completely - my ex was violent towards me and I loved him so much. I felt as if I must of deserved it but i couldn't ever work out why. Now I know that I definetly did not deserve any of it and I became stonger. Just hold in there - honestly - trust me on this one and soon you will realise what sheer strength you have which you never knew existed, strength that will pull you through and make you realise that you deserve to be happy and strength that will make you feel good about yourself again. Have you thought about what affect your death would have on your family? and friends? They will be completely devestated and this will make them feel the exact same way that you are feeling now. They will deeply mourn your loss and will experience the loss that you are feeling for your ex girlfriend, but much worse. They will blame themselves and will never be able to forgive themselves, wondering if only they could have done something. Do you really want to put your family and friends through this? You must go and talk to someone about this. Tell a family member or close friend and go to counselling. this will really help you and you will be able to share some of your feelings and let them free. I found that my suicidal thoughts were made alot worse because I felt i was alone. but i wasn't. I told two close friends and they really helped me out lots. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Friends and family will do everything in their power to care for you because they do care, a hell of a lot more than you will ever know. Please do not drink anymore either. I found this only aggrivated my situation and made me feel even more emotional and prone to making rash decisions. Go out, do things that will help you forget her. I know this is extremely hard and will take time, but i promise you, you will start to enjoy life again without her. There will be other friends, girlfriends and i know you can't see this now, but it's true. Just think about the people you will never get to meet, the loves of your life you will never get to hold, kiss, share your thoughts and feelings with and share your life with, children that you will never get to have some day, all because you gave in and didn't realise that you would get through this. YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS and you will come out the other end a much stronger person who has the best love in the world - self-love and sheer strength and determination to live your life to the full and be happy. This is all possible - i know it doesn't seem like it now, but it definetly is. Please, Please please GIVE IT TIME and DONT GIVE UP. you have your whole life ahead of you and soon enough if you hang in there, you will look back and realise how glad you are that you didn't give up.

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But I don't know I could go about putting him straight because I rarely see him and he's going away soon. Oh well, I'm not gunna rush anything or push it

Well I text him last night being quite casual saying, "Hiya how are you? did you have a good time the other night at ****" and he hasn't replied!!! I don't know, I have been getting the impression that he has liked me for so long but now he's not reponding! I'm trying not to clutch at straws but do you think it could be because: - I'm older? - or because i don't think he has had much experience with girls and he knows i have been in a three year relationship with his brothers friend a couple of years ago? - Because he was a bit drunk, he might assume I think he is always that outgoing? - He's going away for three months in a couple of weeks? (By the way I don't think he has much expereince with girls in general because there is only his father and two brothers because his mother died when he was quite young, and because he went to an all-boys school) I just get the impression that he has low confidence and is possibly thinking, "why does she like me? What do I have to offer her?" I just dunno what to think