HarleyHunny

Sorry, but I dont' believe there is such a thing as "closure". I think you're fooling yourself.

All I can say is "ewwwwwww" .

I've found asking for 'space' is a nice way of saying 'it's over'. He's trying not to hurt you anymore than necessary..

If it were me, (and it's not) I would continue NC and move on with my life....People do sometimes change, but it sounds to me as if you have way too many expectations of this girl and if you were to the point of 'killing yourself' what's to make it different this time should you get your broken again.....My suggestion, don't put yourself thru it. Just get on with your life.

No offense taken. Sorry my reply came off that way....Just pointing out he's not gay....sorta wish that was it, then I'd understand all of this

I've told you everything I can think of .....NO he's not gay! And we had sex many times while we were still a "couple". When we decided to just be friends, sex was no longer part of the deal.

I personally think it's VERY important. It adds to the 'healthy' part of marriage.

My ex boyfriend of many years called me "doll" I loved it....I thought it in a way classy yet very much like an old gangster or mob movie....Now the ex hubby of many, many years ago called me baby dumplins! I hated it! Thinking about it now reminds of the Seinfeld episode of them calling each other "smoopy, woopy" ewwww......

My dates with him do not include sex. The closest we come to that is lieing on the couch side by side while watching TV. ... "real" dating ? I go along for a while perfectly OK with just being friends, then out of the blue it hits me I want more.........Maybe it's just a classic case of wanting what I can't have!

Annie and Hope, I agree totally...............thanks everyone all for the wonderful words. I have a lot to think about now......will keep you posted.

Yes, we've discussed on a few occasions. He says "IT" is just not there. He's looking for his soulmate and doesn't think I am it. He always just says "you're my best friend" I think it has gotten to the point of ALL or nothing for me. I don't know how he'd react, honestly. He always just says for me to be 'picky' of the men I choose.....serious dating, not really.....He isn't dating as far as I know.

Not to my knowledge. He works shifts, 7 days on, 1 day off and always has something planned for us that day. I have been dating some, told him I was, but have not disclosed details of my dates and he doesn't ask...I've thought of this, but can't seem to come to terms with him being gone in my life all together, as I am afraid that is what would happen :sad: Don't think I can go thru that heartbreak again if it doesn't work out.

Jayar, you said exactly what I feel is in my heart. I guess I just needed someone to say the words! Thanks! For the record, I'm not happy with just being friends....

I tired that once about 5 months back, he stuck to his story of not the forever kind of love! His words and his actions are completely opposite.

Some background first; My best friend is a man. We met on a blind date almost 2 years ago. We hit it off immediately and were inseparable for about 4 months. Then we decided it' wasn't the 'forever, get married' kind of relationship and decided to be just friends. He's the kind of friend that will be my "date" at parties, work or social. He helps me fix things around my house. And I do stuff for him. When we go out, be it dinner or anything, he INSISTS on paying. He rarely will let me meet him somewhere or at his house, he also insists on picking me up for whatever it is we're doing. We went on vacation together last year and he rarely let me pay for anything! My Christmas gift from him was a $150.00 tattoo that I'd been wanting for a number of years but wasn't willing to drop the cash for ( I gave him a necklace he'd been wanting ).....My other friends and coworkers cannot believe we're not a couple. They say we send off a 'vibe'. He calls me 'babe'', signs his emails to me 'love' and will usually say "love ya" when we we hang up on the phone or leave each other....He always wants to sit on the same side of the restaurant booth with me, instead of accross from each other. He will reach out and hold my hand while we're out....He makes 'sexual innuendo jokes' toward me on occasion. (not distasteful or demeaning, just jokes)...We've talked about a lot of things over the years and he knows that I have the desire to one day be married again and grow old with someone. His response is always "be picky, you're a very special lady"......Last year he sent flowers to my work for my birthday and again for Valentine's day, which are a day apart...So, last night he called, my son answered the phone and I saw on the ID it was him, so I picked up the extension in the middle of him asking my son to '"get Mom's work address, I lost it". I quickly hung up and waited for my son to tell me he was on the phone. So, I'm guessing he's planning to send me flowers again this year......My question, am I reading too much into this? Is he just a really great friend? Or does he have feelings for me that for whatever reason he's not ready to disclose yet? Is it just wishful thinking on my part because I have to be honest and say, if he asked me to marry him, my answer would be 'yes' for so many reasons...... I'm so confused over this, so thoughts, advice, suggestions, 2 cents, whatever you've got, let me have it

she's now 'alone' so she's going after what might be available...... Should you get back together, don't be surprised when she leaves you for the 'next guy' that comes along. and for the record when you've finished the six pack, the dilema will STILL be there!

I feel for you, sweetie. But hang in there. Consider yourself lucky BEFORE you said "I do". God has a better plan for you. Get yourself up, get with some friends, keep yourself busy. I promise it will get better. May take some time, but it will. Best of luck to you.

Expectations will get ya in trouble. Just roll with it....It's new.

Enjoy it! You've got your whole life ahead of you......Just wait till you're my age, then you'll see how fast life really moves!

"What other people think of me are none of my business" - AA

She's 'just not that into you'. Move on.

I'd suggest she see a doctor to rule out any physical problems.

Doesn't matter where you work, what's important is that you take pride in your job and yourself....Learn everything you can and work your way up or out to something better....A college degree will get you farther in life....Gotta start somewhere. Most of us started on the bottom! Hard work and a good attitude is what gets us moved up!....Good luck.

Sounds to me like you're just not ready for such a commitment. Nothing wrong with that. Just means there are better things waiting for you down the road. I'd suggest finding out what they are....Life is short.

We always want what we can't have!