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About HarleyHunny

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  • Birthday February 13
  1. We can't choose who we fall in love with so that part is not your fault....Let the guy go...He deserves better. There's someone out there for him and you are hindering him finding that by holding on....Tell him the truth, but please, keep the cheating stuff to yourself, don't tell him to have a reason to break up or to ease your own guilt.
  2. Happiness is something you have to work at. And pursue with great diligence. It doesn't just happen......I was in your shoes once, here's what I did, may sound lame but it worked for me. I practiced everyday finding something to be grateful for. I wrote on my mirror, "you will be happy today" and just repeated it until, finally, and it took a while, my outlook started to change...I still have crappy days, but they are fewer and farther between..Trying always doing the next right thing to the best of your ability.....Practice, practice, practice...Are you under a doctors care for your disorder
  3. There's everything wrong with being selfish when it comes to marriage. It's a partnership. You have to find compromise....Sounds to me as if you've all ready made up your mind and looking for someone else to tell you it's OK. ....good luck to you, in whatever you do.....
  4. Grief is natural, allow yourself to go thru it.... Examples ; 1-Denial-"this can't be happening to me", looking for the former spouse in familia places, or if it is death, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still in living there. No crying. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss. 2-Anger-"why me?", feelings of wanting to fight back or get even with spouse of divorce, for death, anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving. 3-Bargaining-bargaining often takes place before the loss. Attempting to make deals with the spouse who is leaving, or att
  5. Wow! How selfish, IMHO....You took vows. Doesn't matter your age. You made a promise and if you do not feel fulfilled then you need to talk to your husband and find what you can do TOGETHER to work this out.... Pick something; Go back to school. Get a job. Volunteer. Find a hobby.
  6. What went on in my past relationships is no one's business but my own...Double standard, big time! You need to work on this one or she'll be your ex soon enough, then you won't have to worry about it at all.
  7. Makes good sense............thanks..........I plan to have a heart to heart with him next week.....
  8. He was there when you needed him. You don't spend 6.5 yrs with someone and just stop caring.....It's only been a week that you've been apart...give yourself (and him) time to heal.
  9. Why would you possibly be with someone who 'grosses you out' ? That makes no sense to me......I'd suggest professional counseling.
  10. The definition of insanity - doing the same thing over and over and hoping the end result will be different!
  11. You still need a support system of some kind - for yourself. Whether he gets help or not......I feel certain GA has help for loved ones of those with the addiction. Just like AA, has Al Anon....You need this so you can understand it's not about how much he loves you, it's about him having an illness.....do some research if nothing else. Understanding his addiction is important..It really has nothing to do with you....look at it this way, if he had a terminal illness and was going to die, loving you enough is not going to stop that....Addictions are cunning and baffling. I know. I'm a recoverin
  12. I'd suggest a CARD....and leave it at that for now.
  13. Why dont YOU call gamblers Anon? They can refer you to a support group for you. You can't help someone who won't or can't help themself. For what it's worth, you did the right thing. NC is gonna be tough but it's the best thing for you both. Don't continue to be his enabler. Everytime you do that you're telling him it's OK to keep screwing up. Best of luck to you both.
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