dnozzle

Yeah it does feel great to have moved on. I am not worried about her doing anything to me or my property. She lives out of state, and the kind of commitment it would take to plan a trip here just to do something like that is beyond the level of commitment she is capable of. That's why we broke up, after all.

It's been 6 weeks to the day since my ex broke up and initiated NC with me. The first few weeks, I chased her like a lost puppy until finally letting go of the illusions I had of her, and I haven't contacted her in any form since. Well, she is STILL emailing me. It is not very frequent, maybe once a week or so, but she still does it. Just to see how I am and how school is going. Whateva! I really want to say how happy I am that she broke up with me and set me free to date all the wonderful women I've met since then. Women who actually LIKE me and WANT to talk to me and spend time with me. But nah, I am not telling her anything. She isn't worth the effort, and deserves no info whatsoever. So into the trash another email from her goes...

Call me when you're sober - Evanescence Don't cry to me. If you loved me, you would be here with me. You want me, come find me. Make up your mind. Should've let you fall, Lose it all, So maybe you can remember yourself. Can't keep believing, We're only deceiving ourselves, And I'm sick of the lies, And you're too late. Don't cry to me. If you loved me, you would be here with me. You want me, come find me. Make up your mind. Couldn't take the blame, Sick with shame. Must be exhausting to lose your own game. Selfishly hated, No wonder you're jaded, You can't play the victim this time. And you're too late. So, don't cry to me. If you loved me, you would be here with me. You love me, come find me. Make up your mind. You never call me when you're sober, You only want it 'cause it's over - it's over. How could I have burned paradise. How could I, you were never mine? So, don't cry to me. If you loved me, you would be here with me. Don't lie to me, just get your things. I've made up your mind.

Way to luvvie duvvie for only having 1 date. Slow things down and don't jump back in too fast. Hold back on the love talk and just be together for a while. Don't throw your heart back out there, or it might get thrown right back broken again.

Background: My ex dumped me on thanksgiving citing "needing time to figure herself out" and told me she didn't know when she could ever talk to me again. I hung on to hope right through Christmas, clinging to any sort of sign that she was thinking about me. Then, I finally allowed myself to stop protecting her and got mad at her for doing this, and that was when I was able to let her go. Since then, my life has been AWESOME! I have been way too busy to even think abouy my ex much, and when I do, I think "what was I ever thinking loving her???" I have been dating again, and that is going very well. I've met so many interesting and exciting women, women who actually LIKE me (unline my ex) and want to talk to me and spend time with me. It was actually a little overwhelming for a while. I found myself so busy that I actually had to break down and get a cell phone, something I managed NOT to have for the last 8 years. I am back in the swing of things at work, and that is going very well, and classes start up tomorrow night. I'm actually beginning to wonder how I will fit school into my schedule now that I am so busy! LOL Most imporantantly, I am HAPPY. Happy with myself. Happy with my life. And Happy that this happened. I did not realize how miserable I really was in my last relationship until it was over and I was forced to detach from it. Now that I have, I can clearly see the things that were wrong with us, and I know that they would have eaten at me slowly over the years until they consumed me. That is no way to live. I deserve someone who treats me the way I deserve, not someone who throws just enough bones to keep me sniffing at her back door. NEVER AGAIN! So cheer up, it really does get better. And stop chasing them. It does not work, and you will only feel silly later on when you realize how you chased after someone who did not want to be chased. Best to just let them go, and you go in the opposite direction. If they ever do want you back, make THEM make that effort, but do not count on that. Live for yourself. Live for today. But most imporantly, JUST LIVE!

Hey all. Just wanted to chime in here and say I have been very good about NC for the past 3 weeks. My ex has emailed me several times and tried to call twice, and I didn't respond in any way. In fact, I didn't even want to. Letting go and moving on is a wonderful thing!

I'm sorry, but if single mom's are so distraught that they have to last out and ruin the lives of the men they are dating, then they need to get some prozac and consider not dating until the kids are grown. Sorry, but this is coming from a guy who just had his entire life turned upside down by a single mother who "lost her way" for a while, and proceeded to destroy our relationship in the process. Get a grip. They are kids. They are not THAT big of a deal.

For me, sexy is much more a state of mind than anything else. A playful nature, a certian look, a sense of humor. All of those can be incredibly sexy. I have seen truly stunning women that did absolutely nothing for me sexually, because they took themselves too seriously. But an average woman with a great sense of humor, wow.

Start screening your calls and don't answer hers. Just delete them. It isn't helping you to talk to her right now, so cut her off and don't do it anymore. You need time to heal.

LC = a very bad idea

I almost broke NC last night too. I was searching for my ex's number while at a party, desperately wanting to drunk dial her and tell her what a lying deceitful bich she was and how she treated me like crap when we were together. Luckily, I couldn't find the number. I did have a great time though, despite that moment of weakness.

Dayam Syrix! Where would a guy meet a woman like you?

I think everyone gets that message at first. I tried them a year ago and was rejected at first. Then a week later I suddenly had 5 matches. None of them were worth a crap though.

Well you know what they say about men. We spend 9 months trying to get out of one and the rest of our lives trying to get back in.

The real quesiton is, are you complaining about it? I think it's good that he wants to show yours that much attention. Count your blessings, girlfriend. Some guys refuse to get that close to one.

Yes. This one does.

You married him. Start putting out.

Honestly dude....just be yourself, but be prepared for bad news. This is never a good thing and I really do think she is going to tell you that she isn't ready for this and will want to just remain friends. You need to realize that there is nothing you can do to get her back and that if she wants you back, that is something she will figure out on her own. The only thing you can do is push her further away by seeming too needy or clingy. Just relax, hear her out, and don't make any demands on her. I'm sorry you are going through this, and I am sorry for being so blunt about it. But I just went through this exact thing over thanksgiving, and we drug it on for nearly a month before she finally fessed up that she just wasn't ready for a real relationship.

The fact that she is asking for space is reason enough to let it go. She wants to be free to see other people. That is the beginning of the end, my friend. She may or may not ever come back, but you will torture yourself worrying about it unless you move on and let her go.

What kind of stuff of yours does he have? Is it really worth trying to get it back and running the risk of having to see him or talk to him? My ex still has my overnight kit. Because of the tight airline regulations, we each brough our toiletries and left them at the other's place. I have not sent hers back yet, but am thinking about it. She hasn't sent mine either, but I really wouldn't even bother to ask her to. It is all stuff I am willing to just walk away from, and I wouldn't risk breaking NC to ask her for it.

Oh, I forgot to mention that the ex has called twice since yesterday. Once she just hung up and the second time she left a short message asking if I was ok and why she hasn't heard from me. Hey, she asked for space. I gave it. Some people are just never happy.

Thanks. I do appreciate it. I am doing very well. Started ding well almost from the very moment I decided to let the ex go for real. My mind cleared instantly and I started to finally see the things that were wrong with us, and not just what was right. I also started getting ready to try again. I got back out there just to meet people, and found that because I had started to love and respect myself again, people responded to that. I met so many fun and interesting people that it made my head spin, including one really nice lady that I have been seeing for about a week now. In a way, I am very grateful to my ex for doing this. If she had not broken up with me, I don't think I would have ever realized on my own just how unhappy I was in that relationship. I would have kept giving all that I had to give until I was empty inside. I still can't ever forgive the way she went about it, but I really am starting to see the silver lining in my situation. I am happy again.

Yeah I had a plan all the way through to VDay too. I was going to send a card every two weeks or so and finally show up with roses in person on Vday. How pathetic I was when I was thinking like that. Now I realize that *I* will be happy on Vday. Without her, I won't have to waste my money on flowers and crap for her and hope it works. I won't have to drive 350 miles to surprise her. I won't have to worry about her at all. Instead, I will be doing my own thing here. Happily.

Wow. What a date. Whew. No further details other than to say that I might just have to break NC to send the ex a thank you card for this. Breaking up with me was seriously the most thoughtful thing she ever did for me. Ever.

Yes, if you really start doing it. Quit checking her friggin myspage page. Delete the link. Delete her emails. Throw all reminders of her away and get her out of your head. You can't do this half-assed. Either do it, or don't. Everytime you do something like this it will dredge up all those old feelings and you will just get hurt again. She can only hurt you if you let her. NC works if you work it. But you have to really do it. Reading her myspace page is NOT NC. You are still checking up on her. The whole point is to let go and get on with your life without worrying about her.