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arrrrffff

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Everything posted by arrrrffff

  1. arrrrffff
    I personally do not mind who my partner sees as long as it isn't used as an excuse not to spend time with me. And that this doesn't become a frequent thing. However, I do believe there is absolutely no reason for them to be accpeting other peoples flirts or invitations while you two are in a realtionship. That guy is absolutely crossing the line here if he knows you 2 are in a realtionship. If she won't do something about it, you take action (nicely of course).
  2. arrrrffff
    Note: If your counting the time since you last brokeup, you are not moving on. * Not saying you are tribeca. I mean for people that are counting every single day.
  3. arrrrffff
    Agreed, paulm. When someone insists on paying or giving you something, it is kind of rude to decline their offer. Just let him pay. You only have to offer once, unlike a chinese dinner gathering where you have the whole table fighting over the bill, lol.
  4. arrrrffff
    I'm noticing I'm frequently tired and have this floating sensation in my stomach like it's empty all the time even after a full meal. It's all normal unless it drags on into next year. Stress... arGHH. The best thing you can do is stay healthy and keep occupied with things you love to do.
  5. arrrrffff
    And if she really really really really really x 1000000000000 made a mistake and really really really really really loves you then she WILL respect your space and will still come back to you weeks/ months down the road. You will know about it because she will have to SHOW you that she has changed and she will have to work for it. All of this has to happen without your interference/input. Anything else, is "Plan B." You've come a long way in your healing, keep those wounds closed.
  6. arrrrffff
    She has a BOYFRIEND. You should NOT be pursuing her. I know you like her, but she is unavailable right now. I think it's immoral to try to woo her away from her partner. You said it yourself: "She has a boyfriend who is a nice, if not all too clever guy, but whom she is clearly crazy about." How would you feel if you were that boyfriend and she broke up with you? Your friends, nothing more should come out of it until she is available again.
  7. arrrrffff
    Never EVER overdo things. As pointed out before, do NOT communicate with her excessively or shower her with large gifts. Be as subtle as possible. You want to do the little things that noone else does; notice things that noone else does, and respond to those. This is called listening. Just be honest, and respect her. Be yourself. Mistakes will be made, but you will learn and grow stronger from themas DayWalker said.
  8. arrrrffff
    As a guy, I don't like facial hair at all on myself. My 'girl' friends don't like it either, however I know people that love it. However it has to be neatly trimmed. Actually I don't like any excess hair. As soon as there's hair touching my forehead, I cut it really short. I only have coarse hair on my chin and under my lip so that's shaven everyday. Personally, asians + facial hair = ewww.
  9. arrrrffff
    Thnak-you icarus and everyone for all the informative posts. It's a side of healing I didn't know. To sum it up: NC is a way to heal yourself. Communication is the key to opening up the doors for reconciliation, whether it be as friends or a relationship. There is always the possibility your ex maybe too scared [that you hate her, out of guilt] to call you, so you must make make contact because she never will. Only start communicating if you are ready to live without him/ her AND healthy [not an emotional wreck, physically healthy, etc].
  10. arrrrffff
    I agree it does breakdown a convo if you directly ask the question. I think it takes multiple dates to guage if she is single passively. If you like each other it will show. However... about girls telling you their status, sometimes you will run into girls who are in relationships AND take you out on date(s).
  11. arrrrffff
    What's a guy doing in here... umm I just thought I'd answer in general anyways. I agree with Ash and apple. It is subjective. If you 2 are in love, everything just seems beautiful. There are people that will find someone ugly, and then there is someone that will find the same person beautiful. I define ugly not physically, but through someones personality. Take the hottest hunk or girl in your mind, and then visualize this person cussing everyday, being overly needy, pessimistic, selfish, only loves you for sex or money, or any other damaging trait. Now that's fugly. I don't believe someone can be that bad in bed because you can always play teacher. Sex is the least of my worries
  12. arrrrffff
    I was looking for a thread like this so I guess I'll revive it, hehe. It's been 7 weeks into my ex breaking up with me. Right now emotionally I am feeling better and in fact stronger, since I know myself better and than before the relationship. However, currently I'm having the worst stomach upsets even though I am eating regulary and healthy. I'm frequently tired [to the point of nauseating fatigue], wake up late for school, and dream of her. I know I can't can't control these because they're probably because of the stress of the breakup and final exam week. However, what I can do is stay healthy and active. I am grateful that I always kept myself in shape so I don't feel even worse or incur injuries/ sickness because of this. So no matter what symptoms your experiencing now or whther you are or not in a relationship you WILL take care of yourself by: 1) Staying physically active [asides from work]: actually going out and exercising. 2) Eat multiple meals a day consisting of all the food groups even though your stomach is a mess and you may have diarrhea or be a lil' gassy. Though if it persists, seek medical help. Stress does cause gastro-intestinal problems, esp. when you grieve. 3) Sleep, even if you have to lie there with your eyes open. Meditate to empty your mind if it's torturing you. 4) Do things you love, whether it be volunteering, building models, driving, working on your business, exercise, music, reading, going out with or making new friends, spend time with family, camping, etc... Try not to sulk in your room 24/7 dwelling on something that is out of your hands. Devote that time and energy to your endeavours. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Your so right. Being in the battlefield with bullets flying passed your head or even getting hit with one of them probably hurts less. At least that ends it right then and there, or you have the chance to avoid it; you actually have some control. Whereares with heartache, there is an end, but you can't forecast it.
  13. arrrrffff
    You clearly stated you do not want her as before. It is wrong to use jealousy and try to look busy [were you actually busy?] to get her back as this is being selfish and not respecting her decision. You need to live your life and let her make the decision on her own. When your genuinly strong, can live without her, and get to the point where you don't need her in your life... your reunion, if it happens, will only be a strong one. Also, being in another relationship when you still want your ex back only sets your new girlfriend up for hurt. Best wishes.
  14. arrrrffff
    I was just going to start a new thread to this question, and I don't want to start a new post, so here ya go: ----------------------------------?--------------------------------- What are the effects or totally disappearing from her/ his life? How extreme do you go until is is immoral? ie. You ignore ALL communication from her txts, voicemail, calls, e-mails AND You ignore ALL communication from her [mutual] friends, in case she is using them to check up on you. Do I even ignore the voicemails that say: "... please call me back?" because I would think that if it was that important one would actually state the actual INTENT of the call instead of a "Hello... uhh call me back." Of course, emergencies and the calls for important help won't be ignored. ----------------------------------?--------------------------------- I am beginning to show signs of healing and I don't want any contact to catalyze me back into where I was weeks ago. However I feel bad ignoring these people. However I think I've answered my own question. If these people REALLY want to say something to me, they could easily fire off and e-mail or exapnd their voicemail or txts to INCLUDE what they want to tell me.
  15. arrrrffff
    HoLy crackerjacks, drum I'm at school now supervising finals, and decided to take a break so I came here. I was expecting more sad stories and maybe something that will give me a the slightest hope for her to come back. Your words are inspirational and I am sitting tall right now because of it. definitely, we MUST put ourselves first whether it is outside or in a relationship. You can either dwell on the past, or learn from it. I am guilty as charge of pitying myself. I am guilty of wasting my soul by focusing on someone who doesn't even love me anymore; someone who decided to leave me. And I love every minute of it... of life, because in NO point in my life did I envision I could loss so much, and come out so strong from it all. This clearly transcends any amount of physical pain and I stand up tall. A friend taught me that when we are happy, when we are positive even in our DOWNEST of times, it radiates outwards. And people are drawn to that. Good things will happen and you become a focal point. I am so humbled by this. I've never been healthier, fitter, faster, more attentive, good looking (not bragging, lol, I think it's my new Banana Rep. sweater), have more friends or been as successful... and these were in me all along. Because I was in a relationship, it made me a better person. I cannot think of a better way to say I love her than that, whether or not she comes back or not.
  16. arrrrffff
    Theis action is definitely an immoral one. Like it has been said by annie, trust must be earned. You two must work problems out together, or not at all, instead of invading his privacy. It's illegal and immoral. How would you like the roles to be reversed? Would you want him checking your emails? These actions just insinuate negativity and sooner or later it will get really messy.
  17. arrrrffff
    I use to think that way and I realized that it wasn't really getting me anywhere. I know it sounds selfish but it is not. Everyone must concentrate on THEMSELVES FIRST. You must be successful, healthy, happy, amongst other good things BEFORE you can make others happy. If you don't do this, you'll find your own life not really going anywhere. Why? Because you put all of your energy into other peoples lives. Putting all your effort into a relationship, sets you for more hurt then you should experience when you lose that person because your so attached to them. Being a gentleman or lady is great. Just don't go overboard. You have to be happy yourself to make others happy.
  18. arrrrffff
    I was like this to my ex and that partially got her to breakup with me. I was really down and depressed though because I lossed my mom. Does she have something in her life that is causing this? However if she's just always like this, then you do have to consider the option that she is just holding on to you. Sometime in your relationship there might have been love, but it might have turned into something else. She needs to understand that her actions are not really conducive to your relationship, and you don't want to become a babysitter or have to worry for her everytime you go out. Loving someone entails trust between you two; enough trust that you two can have separate lives, without the other getting jealous.
  19. arrrrffff
    Why wouldn't he understand?
  20. arrrrffff
    I believe that being the 'norm' can be really unattractive. If a girl really loves you either in a friend or relationship way, they should not be calling you weak for expressing your emotions. My ex encouraged me to cry because she didn't want a guy who kept it all inside. In a relationship, the sharing of emotions is important. Just stay away from being emotionally excessive (ie. being depressed). You don't want to drain energy away from your people around you.
  21. arrrrffff
    Thank-you for all your advice. It really is up to us, the couple to settle these things, not the other guy. However, I feel so bad for the 3rd parties girlfriend. How can he be so mean and do this behind her back? They've been going out for 8 years. I just feel like he needs a smack on the head to get his morals straight (I'm calm, btw... and not a violent person, lol). Though I've never met her, I feel obliged that she know.
  22. arrrrffff
    I'm a guy and I do all that, lol. I've cried a river onto everyone I know praactically, and all of 'em encourage it. I think guy friends need to stop being all macho, and be more like the girls. I mean it's not that guy's cope in those ways, it's just that we have this notion it's not acceptable so we deal with it on our own.
  23. arrrrffff
    shep88ner, that gift beats any shiny jewellry, flower, teddy bear or any other bought object in my book. If you genuinly took time and gave from the heart, it is the most heart warming gift to receive. My gf made me a binder with letters and puzzles for my long flight in the summer, a heart shaped box with messages, books with memories and photos, more letters... etc... I do the same and also have colored messages hidden all over her room, I cook for her, write her songs etc... and most of these cost $0.00. The smiles that come with these gifts are infectious and heart warming.
  24. arrrrffff
    What to do when your in a relationship and it is known that someone is flirting with your loved one? Let's say this flirter KNOWS your in a long term relationship, but he/ she still persues your sweetheart. Scenario: I'm in a long-term relationship. I know that there is a guy (who is apparently in an 8 year relationship) flirting with my gf. He's been taking her out to lunch a few times. He's physically flirted with her (he's smacked her behind a few times in class). He's even said to her: "let's make out." I've seen them together at lunch when I made a surprise visit to see her after school. The rest I know for a fact from good friends. Possible Solutions: Beat the **** out of this guy. Go discuss this with the guy. Discuss with girlfriend Ask the classmate friends to watch him for me. ...So general question: What does one do when someone hits on your sweetie? I mean don't people know flirting with someone who is already in a relationship OFF-LIMITS?
  25. arrrrffff
    Not me. Although, it happened 2 years into a relationship. We both discussed it and agreed to it 100%. I wanted to share it with someone I loved and had a future with. So it really depends on when you 2 are ready. I knew we loved each other, and had a future together. Sex is wonderful when you 2 know each other, are comfortable together, and love each other. However, I didn't have a set date (ie. marriage) for sex.
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